For The First Time

{ Anya }

I guess my attempt at making everything impersonal didn't work. Again.

I thought having a calendar with the most fertile days would prevent things from getting uncomfortable and weird between us, but it didn’t work.

But, I mean, at the end of the day we both agreed already that we are into each other. Jae obviously wants to fuck me. And I totally want that, too.

I've been touching myself almost every night since he first fingered me, dreaming about the moment he would do it again. Or do some more stuff to me.

I think we'll just have to get over the awkwardness. Or maybe it’s just me.

"Come here then, let's start," he says all nonchalantly, dropping his phone aside and opening his arms. I swallow and I crawl in my bed until I'm beside him, "Why are you so nervous? We've touched before."

"I know. Just... this is a little different," I mumble and look at his face. Right here in front of mine.

If only he was a nice guy, this would be so easy. The only thing holding me back is