Chapter 23

ALPHA PARTHE.

The moment I stepped into that dining hall, something in me snapped.

How dare she dress in that manner for other men to see? She was too exposed for my liking.

This wasn't just a mistress but my mate. I couldn't tolerate that. I had to ask her to leave.

I saw the disappointment and embarrassment in her eyes, but who cares? As long as she is shielded from the hungry eyes of other men, then I am fine. Call me selfish.

"Alpha," Tervan's voice pulled me out of my thoughts, and I lifted my gaze from the scrolls I was meant to be reading before my thoughts drifted away.

"Tervan," I gave him my attention, "sit."

I and Tervan have been friends since childhood. His father was the Beta of our pack, but something tragic happened to him when I became Alpha, and Tervan has been my Beta since then.

"You wanted to see me. What's the matter?" I asked him. He is the one person I can feel free with.

"I have been bothered about something, Parthe." He began, addressing me less formally. "And I'd appreciate it if you put it into consideration."

I knew where this was headed, but I paid attention. "Tell me, Tervan," I urged.

"It's about your decision about not having an heir," He said. "That might be the worst decision of your life."

"Not again," I said with a frustrated sigh.

"Please hear me out. You need an heir, Parthe. Someone to carry on your legacy. You've built so much, only to let it end with you?" Tervan said so emotionally that I would have fallen for it if I wasn't the Alpha Parthe I know myself to be.

"This curse has to die with me. I am not putting any future generation through this torment anymore. It ends here. With me."

Thankfully, every Alpha of the Wild Wolf pack always had just one child before they died. This has made my intentions easier. This means I am the only one with the curse now.

"Have you thought about the pack? Your people? What happens to us?"

Tervan was hitting a nerve I didn't want him to.

"Think about this. It isn't a curse, Parthe. It is a blessing every Alpha out there would die to have. And to think that you are an AshBlood witch... You have decided not to use your powers, either. Why punish yourself this much?"

Tervan's tone was rising higher than I would want it to. But it's fine. He is my friend, and he is agitated.

"I use my powers to fortify my army. That's why we are the most sought-after by other packs for shield and alliances, remember?" I creased my brows, reminding him, just in case he had forgotten.

"That is not the point. Why limit yourself so much when you are made for more?"

"Tervan. This curse has brought me more harm than good, and you know it. My sister... My parents... Your... Your..." The word was heavy on my tongue. I couldn't bring myself to say it, but thankfully, he stopped me.

"Stop blaming yourself for all that. None of it was your fault," He said in a calmer tone.

"How about Luxuria? I almost killed her the other night. What if I had killed her, Tervan?"

My voice was deceptively calm, but he understood the storm brewing inside me.

He paused; his eyes searched mine, trying to read my emotions. "Do you think you have feelings for Luxuria?"

The question hit me with the force of a cold wind. I had to answer carefully. My reputation was at stake, but so was the truth. "Why would you ask that? Feelings are not a concept I entertain. You know that." I couldn't be seen as weak.

I saw the reassurance in his eyes. He'd always wanted me to make Shikta my Luna. It's okay for him to feel scared that another woman might be stealing my heart.

But that woman was my mate, and he, of all people, should know what it means to have a mate. He has one!

"Okay. Look. Whatever happened that night was never your fault. She stepped outside her chamber when she was instructed not to. She faced the consequences. That's all that happened." Tervan explained, but it did nothing to calm my guilt.

"What's the point in all these? I have less than two years to live. I do not want to raise a family. No Luna, no son, no legacy. Why is it too much of a problem?" I asked, picking up the scrolls angrily as I flipped through them with an intensity that almost tore them to shreds.

"Make Shikta your Luna. She'll bear you a son who would take over from you. She is capable of ruling your pack even when you are gone until your son comes of age and takes over from her. Please, Parthe. Think about this."

There was a pregnant silence between us. All he said was plausible. Shikta was strong and capable of being a good leader, no doubt. And if there is anyone I'd prefer to bear my heir, she'd be the one.

But...

"Is there something else you'd like us to talk about?" I asked, changing the subject.

He was disappointed and knew he had hit another dead end. "No, Alpha," He said, shaking his head sadly.

"I'd like to return to what I was doing. Send my regards to Lorel."

"Yes, Alpha. Sorry to bother you."

I watched him leave, and I can't deny that a part of me felt bad for him.

All he has ever wanted is to see me happy, but he doesn't know that I'll do anything I can to deprive myself of happiness.

I do not deserve to be happy.