2- Pink Lines

Megan

Positive?

<Dear diary, my life sucks> Red sounds grim inside my head. Her sarcasm is something we shared, but sometimes it irritated me when it was directed at me.

Holding the rectangular flat plastic in my trembling hands, my hands do not go over my flat tummy, protectively, as I normally hear people talk about. Instead, my entire insides tremble as I stare wide-eyed at the pregnancy test. My blood surges throughout my being and when I say I can feel it- I kid you not.

Pun not intended. 

I would say it’s the longest two minutes of my life but no... I have taken the test before now.

My wolf is now silent inside my head, after sassing me about my life-sucking, but I can feel her emotion even though she tried to mask it. Fear.

Being pregnant with the alpha’s baby is cause for worry- especially when he kicked me out of his bed the very morning after we did the dirty deed as if I were scum on his sheets. His stern eyes come to my mind then followed by his turned-up nose and upper full lip as I visualise his reaction to this news.

Yes, you saw it correctly. The alpha’s baby.

Stress hormones- whichever hormones overtake my brain and my eyes widen as I stare at the deep pink single line then the double that deepens and my heart sinks again just as it did yesterday. No- I tap the four-inch plastic that tried to determine my early set life of motherhood for a few seconds as I will myself to pee again.

Pregnant and unmarried, is not how I figured my life to be.

Discarding it, I hurriedly opened another pack, squinting my eyes tightly, doing a halfway prayer inside my head.

As if sensing my fright or flight mode- my body aids me. Unbuttoning my jeans pants again, I sit down to collect another sample of my urine. My heart pumps against my chest so loudly that I fear anyone on the outside of this locked door will hear it.

No- it has to be wrong; I deny it even though I wager it is not- after all it has been the third pregnancy test, I have taken in the span of two days. I denied the test results, convincing myself that it was just a hormone imbalance of some kind...something that happens when you start having intercourse- I don’t know much see. The alpha was my second time- ever. The first had been years ago when I was nineteen and can’t even remember much except it was clumsy and embarrassing and I regretted it but maybe him more than me.

Honestly, who would want to have anything to do with me after just lying flat on my back with a pillow over my face, peeking out only to ask, “Is it over?”

Ugh.

This morning, I had taken another as guided by the female pharmacist- something about morning urine and all that- still hopeful at the pharmacy’s washroom. And another just now- midday after my chores.

No, no, no.

Shoving the plastic into the box it came in, I rush out of the bathroom, despite my headache fighting the nausea that fills me after dropping it along with the others in the bin, inside my bedroom.

Squinting my eyes, I chase all the way downstairs, grabbing at the arm of the one person I saw, my nerves are a bigger wreck than last night.

 “Mary, did you see the alpha?” I ask her softly to not rattle her more. I’m guessing she had a run-in with the deltas or gammas, by the sullen look about her face. They always took things a bit too far.

The alpha is different. I do not call him by his name even when we are alone. See, he might be the father of the whelp in me, but the pack members do not know we are mates. Even I am not positive we are, but he said so.

“He’s with Luna, Meg,” Mary answers me now, picking up the hat that had fallen to the ground, unnoticed by me.

Beth, the gorgeous brunette, is not the Luna, but she will be. Her father, Will, my unwanted tattoo artiste, is the current beta, making her one of the elite ranks in our pack just by his title. There is nobody higher than beta besides alpha and luna. And Beth has her claws set so deep in our alpha that we all know she is the next luna.

Pathetic is how I feel, knowing I have been added to the list of women the alpha has bedded.

Just over a month ago, the alpha had approached me during a victory party over the Cresent Moon pack. He had been intoxicated of course and I, one of the omegas, was clearing up bottles from the floor when he told me he wished to speak with me privately.

Our alpha was not as impolite as our high-ranked pack members as he’d always shown me a smile and treated me with much kindness. And I can say is, personally, I have never seen him intentionally be hurtful or disrespectful to any pack member either- unlike the elites. Sure, I thought he favoured me more over the others, but I figured that was most likely the romantic in me. After all, I am of the lowest rank in the pack so why would he be interested in me, not to mention older than him as well. 

That fateful night, he did more than kiss me. Scared, I had pulled away mumbling, “Alpha no-” I was going to say that I did not want to be part of the lifestyle he lived- loose. I’m certain he has banged every female in our pack already.

But he had cut me off with his finger against my lips. “Shh, call me Soren,” and kissed me again.

Barely unsure of how to react, I'd just stood there motionless. No, he was not my first kiss- I'd kissed boys before back in high school...Okay, so technically he was my first kiss by a man. His kiss was different. I’d never had lips on mine, this way.

It shook me to the core- just like the reaction of my first-ever kiss had. One difference is his lips were huge- I mean it’s pretty normal lips but until then I’d only kissed teenage boys and it had been years ago too- and that while my first kiss was a nerve wrecker, his was me accepting my end.

I’d gladly have died in that moment just to feel it forever. To have been feeling that as my last memory.

Like all of it, exploring every crevice of my mouth. His lip’s softness had set my stomach on fire. My head was spinning from the ecstasy of it. He made me realise that the chaste kisses on my lips I had before, were nothing compared to his.

His scent engulfed me in a way like never before, though I knew what he smelled like. It was just different up close like that- intimate. Overpowering.

Soren had me out of the crowd and into his bed in less than two minutes.

I am almost ashamed to admit how easy I was. How starved for love I had been. Another’s touch on my body...to be ‘normal’ like everyone else.

He confessed to me that I was his mate and he had known about it since the day his wolf was born and how hard it was to resist me with the mate bond fighting against him. He said he did his best to forget me- without him even saying what he did, I knew he meant the endless women he bedded.

But according to my calculations, eight years he knew? It was common knowledge that Soren got his wolf at sixteen.

But at that moment, I was too caught up in his words. Rational thoughts left me as I let him have his way.

The next morning was different, however. Before my senses could be awakened, I was rejected by the alpha. And it was not the regular of getting rejected, for example; the polite way. You know, the guy gets up and realises his error and leaves the bedroom and the girl reads into it and also sneaks away...like the first time I had slept with a boy.

Nope, he woke up first and gave the worst type of rejection possible- even for a low-ranked omega.

He saw me- probably had a vomiting frenzy before he roughly woke me up by shaking me almost violently, his voice harsh. “Get out.”

“Wha-” with obvious confusion at his sudden change after we made lo- “Get the f*ck out, I said, what the f*ck,” he’d snarled out, the alpha in him commanding the lowly rank that I am.

Forced because of that alpha command, I whined as I swiftly pulled on my discarded clothing, he had thrown at me.

“Don’t ever worm your way into my bed again. “You’re nothing! An omega- worse than filth. You'll never be my Luna. You disgusting little-” I ran out without waiting to hear the end of the insult he was barking at me. The scorn of sleeping with me was so evident, in his tone.

Now I, ‘worse than filth’, is carrying his baby.