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2024-10-29 19:42:56FALLON
I push open the nearest door to the squad complex, hanging a right to go to the squad dorms instead of taking my usual left into the trainee barracks. Everything that has transpired over the last twelve hours has my brain completely scrambled, and I just have to tell someone about it. And by someone, I mean my sister.
I speed-walk down the hallway to her room, testing the door handle. It’s unlocked, and I don’t mean to throw it open as hard as I do. As the door collides with the wall on the other side, I rush in to see a very startled Brooke sitting on her bed, her legs crisscrossed beneath her and her laptop upon them.
“Hi! Sorry…” I grab for the handle again, swinging the door closed gently.
“Is everything okay?!” Brooke asks, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose. “You scared me half to death!”
I spin around to face her, leaning back against the door and grinning. I don’t even know whe
C.J. PrimerJust a heads-up that updates may be sporadic over the next few days, as I have to travel again unexpectedly. I'll still get new chapters up, but they may be posted at irregular intervals. Also, I'm going to start taking weekends off to focus on editing. I may still post on weekends occasionally, but you can count on regular updates Monday through Friday unless otherwise noted. For notifications as to when I post, follow my IG acct: c.j.primer
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Alpha Gray 37
GRAY I called the council together on Sunday evening to discuss my trip to Denver. The council for the six-pack consists of twelve members: the alphas from each pack and our betas. Reid and I are the young bucks, heading up the Goldenleaf and Stillwater packs. Theo’s dad, Alpha Anders, runs the Summervale pack, and Alpha Damian, Jax’s father, runs the Westfield pack. Brock will be taking over the Riverton pack at the end of the summer for his old man, Alpha Rowe. I’m looking forward to the day when all five of us are the alphas of our packs, running the council. Not that I mind the current alphas, but some of them are older, stuck in their ways, and resistant to change. The only outlier will be Alpha Vaughn from the Norbury pack. He’s got a son, Chase, but he’s still in high school, so it’ll be a while before he takes over. I’m hoping that Chase will come join us at the squad complex after he graduates high school so we can ge
Alpha Gray 38
FALLON I train hard all week, but something’s just off- I’m making stupid mistakes, sloppy errors. I know it’s because my emotions are on overdrive right now, but for the first time I can’t seem to just turn them off and focus. I miss Vienna. I miss Gray. I’m training harder than ever before, but I still feel like I’m behind. Even the night sessions that we’ve been doing haven’t pulled me out of my rut. The five of us- Boyd, Davis, Shay, Connor, and me- have been sneaking out of the complex and into the forest after dinner each night to brush up on our moves and spar, but I still don’t feel like I’m improving. I’m terrified for the next cuts and rankings. On Friday evening, Casey offers to lead our little after-hours training session and teach us a few things. She probably just wants to be around Davis, since the extra training has been cutting into their time together, but we’re all appreciative nonetheless. Among the moves she demo
Alpha Gray 39
GRAY I dropped Reid off at the packhouse in Stillwater when we returned from Denver, then headed straight to the squad complex. I parked my Jeep in its usual spot and was heading for the gate when I caught Fallon’s scent, carried on the breeze from the opposite direction. My heart immediately lurched- with the events in Denver still fresh, my mind rushed to the worst case scenario- but after I followed her short trail to the clearing, my concern turned to jealous rage at the sight of that fucking kid lying on top of her. Now I’m pacing in my room, regretting that I told her to come see me in an hour rather than in ten minutes. Her explanation in the forest made sense, and now with the benefit of hindsight I’m able to calm down, think clearly. Thank god I’m able to control my wolf, or he would’ve ripped Boyd’s throat out tonight. Having Fallon come to my room here at the complex is risky, but I leave the door unlocked s
Alpha Gray 40
FALLON “Circle up!” Theo calls out, his hands cupped around his mouth. We’ve been out in the arena training under the hot summer sun, and we’re all sweaty and tired. This morning was endurance training, while this afternoon we’ve been doing some sparring with our partners. I’ve been partnered with Shay all week, which would have been fun if I wasn’t in such a rut. Today’s session has been much better, though- I don’t what know changed, but I’m back, baby. I’ve been landing every offensive move, dodging every advance on defense. I just hope it’s not too little, too late. Saturday afternoon’s training session is always stressful because it’s the last one before weekly cuts are posted. There are thirty of us left, so half of us will be going home at some point before training camp ends. Since I’ve had such an off week, I’m even more anxious for the cut list to be posted, and I’m dreading seeing my name on it.
Alpha Gray 41
GRAY “So between Brennan and Connor…” Reid trails off, furrowing his brow. He looks up from the paper in front of him, across the table at the rest of us. We’re in the conference room at the squad complex, seated around the oval table. The five of us have been trying to determine who to cut this week, and honestly, I hate this part. All of the recruits have been working so hard- it kills me to crush someone’s dream. I wish we could keep them all, but I know how important it is to stack the squad with the best of the best. Especially after the recent scare we had with the rogues. During my time in Denver, we were able to confirm that the rogue they captured was indeed feeding them bad information, which was a relief to all. Even so, it was a necessary wake-up call- while the shadow pack may not yet be a pressing threat, it’s still out there, and it’ll come for us eventually. When it does, we’ll need to be ready to fight
Alpha Gray 42
FALLON It scares me a little bit how quickly my world has started to revolve around Gray. The weekend feels dull without him. My friends and I hit the bar in Goldenleaf on Saturday night, but he isn’t at his usual table in the corner with the other alphas. I still drink and dance and have fun with my friends, but the night is decidedly less exciting without the prospect of ending it with him. What I wouldn’t give for a repeat of last Saturday. Sundays are our day off, and I spend mine with Brooke. After being together basically every day for eighteen years, it feels strange to have to resort to weekly catch-ups to stay current on the events in on each other’s lives. I feign interest in her IT mumbo-jumbo, while she pretends to care about the new defensive maneuvers I’ve learned. If we were strangers, we’d have nothing in common- but she’s my twin, my closest friend and confidant. It feels so good just to be with her, talk to her.
Alpha Gray 43
GRAY Fallon and her friends are dedicated, I’ll give them that. Even after full day of training, the five of them are already in the arena waiting for me when I arrive on Monday evening, eager to get started. Call it overprotective, but I just don’t like the idea of Fallon being out in the forest at night- not since that rogue attacked her out there a couple of weeks ago. I’m also not fond of the idea of Boyd putting his hands on her to spar, but I digress. Since there are only five of them, they don’t form even pairs for practice exercises. It isn’t a problem, though- I pair myself with Fallon, and sparring with her is like an intense form of foreplay. Every touch is electric, and though I should take it easier on her so she can learn, all my wolf wants to do is take her down every time, dominate her and get her underneath us. The heady mix of adrenaline, endorphins, and arousal is driving us both mad. I teach Fa
Alpha Gray 44
FALLON “You know what time it is!” Jax shouts, grinning from ear to ear as he drops the crates of mesh scrimmage tanks in front of him on the practice field. The excitement among the recruits is palpable. War games are always on Wednesdays, and since we’ve been working in teams all week, we’re doubly stoked for this round. We’ve learned a lot about one another over the past few days while running drills as a unit, and we’ve already got a solid strategy for war games on lock. “Come and get em!” We trip over one another as we rush to the crate to grab our scrimmage vests, slipping them on over our clothing. I check my shoulder patches, make sure they’re securely fastened. “Gold team with us!” Theo calls out, and I turn to see him and Gray standing together. Heck yeah, war games and Gray as one of my team’s captains? Could this day get any better? Reid and Jax are captaining the ot
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Alpha Gray 55
FALLON It feels a little strange returning to the squad complex on Tuesday morning, like I’ve been away for weeks rather than days. So much has happened since I passed through the gate on Saturday afternoon, staring out the window from the backseat of Boyd’s dad’s SUV, turning over in my mind whether I’d have the courage to come back for the full moon run. I’m so fucking glad I did. I was being a total chicken, which isn’t like me at all. Then again, love makes you do some crazy, foolish things. Thank god my sister was there to make me realize how stupid I was being and talk me into coming back to face the music- I definitely owe her one. I’ll add it to the list of debts I owe Brooke for always coming through when I need her. Gray slides the Jeep into his usual spot outside the gate, throwing it in park and cutting the engine. He turns to me, dark eyes alight w
Alpha Gray 54
GRAY “They’re ready for you, Alpha,” Deke says, peering in the doorway of my bedroom at the packhouse expectantly, a grin spreading across his face. He’s looking forward to this almost as much as I am- the moment I finally get to tell my pack that I’ve found my mate. While Deke and I have done our best to hold our fractured pack together since I was forced to prematurely step up as their alpha, having a luna completes our pack in some sense, makes us more whole. The future of our pack is brighter than ever. I’m so fucking proud to introduce Fallon to the pack as my mate. She’s a perfect luna- so strong and brave, a force to be reckoned with. I couldn’t have designed a better she-wolf to lead the pack with me if I’d tried; she’s so much more than I could’ve ever imagined. I can tell she’s nervous- she’s changed her clothes twice since we returned to the packhouse, and she’s been fiddling with her hair in the mir
Alpha Gray 53
GRAY I wake the next morning from the best night’s sleep of my life. I spent hours alternating between fucking and making love to Fallon, coaxing moans from her pouty lips and watching her pant and writhe in pleasure. I’m still completely in awe of her, still in disbelief that she’s finally mine, forever. We’ve sealed the mate bond; nothing can separate us. I was so wrapped up in Fallon last night that I totally forgot about the full moon run, or the fact that my pack was probably wondering where the hell I went after it ended. My bedroom’s far enough away from the main area of the packhouse that I doubt anyone could’ve heard us- but then again, with the way Fallon was screaming, it’s anyone’s guess. There’s no concealing my contentedness when I enter the kitchen of the packhouse the next day. Deke’s cooking something in a pan on the stove and I stop in the doorway, leaning idly against it and clearing my throat to ann
Alpha Gray 52
FALLON “I always knew it was you,” Gray murmurs in my ear as he carries me through the packhouse, up the stairs and down the hall. Warmth spreads in my chest as I plant a shower of kisses on his cheeks, his nose, his eyelashes, his forehead. I’m so in awe of him, of how it feels to be his, for him to be mine. My parents were right; there’s no way to put the mate bond into words. It’s complete and utter euphoria. Everything I’ve ever felt for Gray is multiplied tenfold; the emotions are so overpowering I don’t know whether I want to laugh or cry or scream or pass out. Scratch that- I know what I want. I want him to take me to his bed and fuck me senseless. Gray kicks the door of his bedroom closed behind us, carrying me over to the bed and tossing me down onto it. My body bounces with the springy softness of the mattress, then his body covers mine, his lips crushing down in another bruising kiss. He pushes himse
Alpha Gray 51
GRAYThey say if you love something, you should let it go. So I did. I set her free, and I don’t think she’s coming back.I still have no regrets.Those weeks I spent with Fallon were the first time I’ve felt alive- really alive- in a long time. For the past five years, I’ve been numb, frozen in my grief, pushing forward blindly and refusing to let anyone or anything in, refusing to really feel anything. Throwing myself into my duties as alpha and to the security squad to avoid any semblance of an actual personal life. Then Fallon came along and started chipping away at the dam, breaking it down and causing a flood.Even if she doesn’t come back, at least I had that glimpse at happiness for a moment. I now know for certain that there can be real joy in life on the other side of the pain I’ve been suffering since my family was ripped away from me. She’s both
Alpha Gray 50
GRAY “Will you shut the fuck up and focus?” Brock snaps, pounding his fist on the table. We’ve been shut in this stuffy conference room for the better part of an hour, combing through the details of every recruit’s last trial, agonizing over our final selections for the squad. The conversation about Bex started to go off the rails when Jax commented on her massive rack, then took a nosedive when Theo started in on what he’d do if he had the opportunity to take her home for a night. Brock, Reid and I are all used to their antics by now, but we’re stressed, we’re exhausted, and more than anything, we’re ready to get the hell out of this room. Now isn’t the time for the Jax and Theo roadshow. “Jeez, man, lighten up,” Theo grumbles, shooting Brock a sideways glance. Brock lets out an exasperated sigh, scrubbing a hand over his face. “I just want to get this over with.” “Me too,” Reid agrees. “Let’s
Alpha Gray 49
FALLON It might seem like overkill for my friends and I to sneak in extra training after the alphas work us so hard all day, but our nighttime sessions have quickly become my favorite ritual. As wolf shifters, we already have a strong drive to stick close with one another, be part of a pack, and the bonding that occurs when you spend an extended amount of time with the same people is no different. It’s like my friends and I have formed our own little pack within the pack, learning each other’s strengths and weaknesses, having one another’s backs. I feel a tinge of sadness when Boyd suggests we call it a night on Friday evening, the realization sinking in that this is our little group’s last after-hours session together. By this time tomorrow, we’ll know whether we’ve made the squad- and I’m so hopeful that we’ll all make it, together. It seems like the others must have similar sentiments, because we take a little longe
Alpha Gray 48
FALLON “Girl, you’re on fire!” Shay laughs, elbowing me. “About time you got that damn flag, for real this time!” We’re sitting at our usual table in the dining hall on Wednesday evening, still pumped about our war games win this afternoon. The alphas let us choose our own teams this time around, so naturally my friends and I fielded ourselves together. I got the flag fair and square and I even made it across the boundary without one of my own teammates taking me down- and the best part? Since we were all teamed together, we all get to share the victory. “What’s this about a flag?” Brooke asks, walking up behind me with a plate in hand. “I keep hearing something around the complex about how my sister’s a total badass.” She waggles her eyebrows, setting her plate on the table and kicking a leg over the bench, sliding in to take a seat beside me. I’ve totally turned it around since Monda
Alpha Gray 47
FALLON I feel like shit. I’ve been bottling everything up since Saturday night- I haven’t even gone to Brooke to talk things over. I don’t know why… maybe I’m embarrassed? I feel like a fool for getting involved with Gray. Hannah’s words still haunt me. As I jog onto the practice field on Monday morning, all of my muscles are achy, like the pain I’ve tried to bury deep in my soul is physically manifesting in my body. Then I see Gray standing out there with the other alphas and the sight of him cuts like a dagger straight to the heart. Even in his workout attire- gym shorts and a cutoff t-shirt- he’s an Adonis. His magnetic eyes immediately find mine. I dart my gaze away quickly, staring at the back of Davis’ neck instead as I follow him to the center of the practice field and take a spot beside him. I’m now close enough that I can smell Gray, my wolf stirring in response, but I can’t bring myself to look at him
