Chapter one - Leila

The sun beats down on us as we lay on the bank beside the river, our clothes drying on our bodies as we watch the wind blow the clouds across the sky.

Our heads are close together, our hands intertwined on the grass between us and there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be than with the raven haired boy by my side.

"Bet you half your mum's chocolate cake I can make it to the top before you do." Coal shifts onto his stomach so he's looking down at me and nods towards the cliffs just ahead of us. 

His beautiful dark eyes hold a familiar glint, the one that I know will end in at least one of us getting hurt or in trouble, maybe both. I shouldn't agree, I should know better, but his heavy sigh and following words are proof of just how well he knows me. 

"Or, if you're too scared, you could just give it to me now. Go home and make dinner for the man of the house, like a good woman should."

As he knew they would, his words fill me with an intense desire to prove that I can do anything he can do, and do it better. I'm on my feet in an instant, ignoring the smug grin spreading across his face as he peers up at me.

"Eat my dust, loser." I call over my shoulder, sprinting through the trees. 

His heavy footsteps are close behind me when I reach the base, but he's much bulkier and therefore slower than I am, falling behind to find secure footholds, while I scale the rocks like a mountain goat.

"Who's scared now, slowcoach?" I taunt from above him, the summit already in my sight.

The next hold is out of reach and I'm taking too long to find a way to get to it. He's close behind me and preparing to overtake but I refuse to allow him to beat me, so I leap, catching the hold and seeing the surprise on his face turn to pride. 

There's nothing I can't do, not when he's there pushing me, challenging me and supporting me.

"Champion." I make a fist with my free hand and punch the air whilst still hanging from one arm. A flock of crows take off from the trees a few feet below us, scared by my victory cheer.

Almost in slow motion, the rock beneath my hand starts to crumble, I snap my gaze away from Coal and cling to the debris in the vain hope of keeping myself on the rocks while my other hand and feet scramble frantically to find a secure hold.

Just after my fingers slip, my face and chest slam painfully against the lower ledge and then I'm flying backwards, out of reach of the cliff and down towards a sea of green leaves. 

I meet Coal's gaze, watching the proud grin slide from his face, quickly being replaced by sheer panic and then, like a superhero, he's leaping from the rocks towards me, arms outstretched with no thought or care for his own safety.

"No." I scream back but it's too late, he grabs my shoulder, wrenching me towards him and wrapping his body around mine, his hands holding my head to his chest. I'm perfectly cushioned and trapped within his tight grip, the most I can do is wince with every painfilled grunt he makes as he absorbs the hits from rocks, earth and branches as we plummet towards the ground.

It feels like we fall forever, gripping one another and waiting for the inevitable hard landing on the floor below.

Coal makes no sound as we land on the soft grass beneath the trees, the arm that isn't still holding me against him is bent unnaturally out to one side and blood seeps through his clothing from innumerable slashes on his back and legs. 

I push his chest, shaking him, trying to wake him up, tears running down my face as I beg him to open his eyes, to be ok,  but he just lies there unmoving and as the fear of losing him settles deep in my heart, I scream like a banshee for anyone to come and help us. To save him.

~•~

"Leila, wake up, you're having a nightmare again." I fight against the person gripping my arm and thrash against the weight that's pinning my body down, desperate to see if Coal's alive, but they won't let me go. Instinctively I relax, waiting until the hold on me softens before lashing out, my fist colliding with something soft and the grip on my arm loosens instantly. "Ow, fucking hell, Leila, wake up. You absolute freak."

My heart racing and my body still trembling from the adrenaline pumping through my body, I bolt upright, taking in the familiar surroundings. Pale white walls covered in band posters and a cork board with uni information leaflets and luminescent post-it notes dotted haphazardly across them. 

A sliver of orange sunlight comes through the heavy curtains, making my roommate's hair look ginger rather than silvery blonde as she stands in the centre of the room, rubbing her shoulder and scowling at me.

"That's the last time I wake you up." She mutters, climbing back into her bed and pulling the quilt over her head.

"I'm so sorry Gale, thanks." I call out, dropping back onto my soft single bed. My heartbeat is still racing as I rub my palms over the sheets, feeling the soft material and reassuring myself that this is reality and that was the dream. 

Coal doesn't exist anywhere but my own head and these nightmares are just a result of my overactive imagination.

Why does it always have to be so real?

My phone blinks 5am but it's Sunday and for once, I'm not working, so I grab my sleeping pills and shove two in my mouth, washing them down with half the bottle of water I keep on my bedside table and lie back, waiting for the blissful dreamless abyss that always follows.

~•~

My stomach growls loudly, the delicious scent of melted cheese rousing me from my unconscious state.

"What happened this time?" Gale asks when I finally open my eyes. 

Her tone is cheerful and her brown eyes are warm and friendly, so I know she's forgiven me for both the terrifying wake up call and the physical assault that followed.

She chucks a bottle of Orange Tango at me and gestures to her bed where a pizza box is open, the contents half eaten. Glancing at my phone again, I see I've slept throughout most of the day and my stomach growls it's disapproval at missing nearly three meals.

"Here, dig in." She nudges the pizza box an inch. "I did try to wake you earlier, but you were dead to the world. Snoring and drooling."

"I don't snore or drool." Automatically my hand comes up to wipe my mouth. I refuse to admit that my face is slightly damp but Gale giggles at me anyway.

"You were so loud I had to put subtitles on the TV." She points at the TV and sure enough the subtitles are flickering across the bottom of the screen.

"Sorry. The tablets knocked me right out. It was lovely." She shrugs, turning off whatever she was watching and focusing on me.

"So, what happened last night? You don't normally scream with the dreams. You whimper, smile, laugh, but not scream and I've never seen you cry before." She grabs her notepad from her desk, her pen poised in anticipation.

"It's creepy how often you watch me sleep, you weirdo." I grin at her, standing up and stretching until my bones give off a satisfying crack. The scent of pizza is making my stomach rumble and my mouth fill with saliva. "Ok, gimme gimme gimme."

Climbing onto the end of her bed, I lean against the wall and cross my legs underneath me, grabbing a slice of pizza from the box and filling her in on what happened in my nightmare. 

She writes it all down, word for word, waiting until I'm finished before asking questions to try and figure out where this one fits in on the timeline of dreams I'm plagued with.

She's convinced the fact that I've dreamt about the same guy every night since I was a child, is somehow meaningful, especially since the age of both myself and Coal in the dreams alters dramatically from early toddler to late teens, but we're never older than I am now. 

I used to agree with her, but then an old boyfriend of hers, who was training to be a counsellor, explained that Coal is not a person, per se, but that he represents a desire, specifically for me, a desire to belong to someone or somewhere, to love and be loved completely, almost obsessively, by anyone. Which makes a lot of sense since I've been thrown from foster home to foster home ever since I was a baby, with no one really caring about anything except the money they got for letting me exist in their space.

Despite knowing he's a figment of my imagination, and I do know that, the fact he's been there for as long as I can remember, means the fucked up part of my brain automatically thinks of him on the odd occasion a guy even tries to flirt with me, and I feel guilty, like I'm betraying him. 

Betraying him!? Betraying the fucking figment of my imagination!?

I'm going to die alone. Without even the company of a dozen cats, since cats seem to hate me, which somehow makes my situation even more pathetic.

"Hello, hello." A cheery voice calls, quickly followed by a familiar blonde head of hair and pair of piercing blue eyes peering around our door. Damien Cross, one of our best friends, holds up a white paper bag that's straining under the weight of its contents. 

"We brought beer and Chinese, if you provide the TV." He strolls in and drags the small table from the corner to between our beds, before dropping down on Gale's bed next to me. 

The final two members of our friendship group, Emery Jessop and Ollie Brown follow him through the door and stretch out side by side on my bed. Emery eyes the notepad in Gale's hand and squeals.

"Did we miss storytime?" She slams her hand into Ollie's shoulder, knocking him sideways on my bed, his head banging my wall loud enough to make us all wince.

"Hey, what was that for?" He rubs the back of his head and glares at her.

"I told you we should have come straight here." She matches his glare, then turns to me. "Please tell me what happened? Did you kiss again?"

"You realise this isn't real?" Damien snaps, sitting up, grabbing a beer off of the table and turning his bright blue eyes on me. "I really don't think it's normal or healthy to be this focused on a fantasy guy, not when it's getting in the way of your real love life."

"Thanks Dr Hilary." I roll my eyes, hating that he's probably right but I have no idea how to stop the dreams. I'd like them to stop as much as anyone. The memory of the one from last night has left me on edge and shaky, even now. "Besides, I'm not focused on him, I'm sure if the right person came along, I wouldn't be distracted with thoughts of Coal."

"Yeah, sure." Damien mutters beside me and the room's awkwardly silent until Emery reaches over to take the notepad from Gale and everyone's eyes land on her.

"What? You said it's not healthy for her, not me." She tucks a chestnut curl behind her ear, her cheeks flush red and she flips open the book towards the back, where Gale's pen is sticking out as a bookmark. "For me, Coal is like a crush on a TV character, you know what I mean? It's pointless and harmless. You know they don't exist, but it doesn't stop you wanting to know what happens next."

Her eyes flicker as she reads and every so often she gives a happy sigh, her lips turn up in a smile and I'm almost certain the little gasp she makes is when she reads about Coal leaping from the rock to save me.

No, not me. It's not real. Maybe Damien has got a point.

"On that note, I'm going to change the subject." Ollie, flicks his long brown hair out of his eyes and drums on the table dramatically. "Easter break, I'm going back to my parents house in Devon to house sit while they're on holiday. There are two pools, one indoor and one out, it's like a ten minute walk to the beach and there's a load of pubs and clubs in town. You better all be up for it, I don't want to go on my own."

"Hell yes, I've never been to Devon. I'm booking it off work now." I squeal, already grabbing my phone to email my boss. "I'm so excited. Is it weird that my dream makes me want to go rock climbing?"

"Kind of. You fell off and broke your boyfriend." Gale laughs, grabbing a prawn cracker from the bag on the table.

"He's not actually her boyfriend." Damien rolls his eyes and offers me a spring roll, which I gratefully take, mouthing my thanks and appreciation as though I haven't eaten in days. My stomach is still grumbling enough to make it seem that way, anyway.

"Her dream boyfriend, whatever. I mean, why else would he jump from a cliff to save her?" Emery gushes as though it's the most romantic thing she's ever heard of. 

"Neither of them are real though." Damien tugs at his hair in frustration and I look at Emery just in time to see the glint of amusement in her pretty green eyes. She's winding him up on purpose and taking great delight in doing so.

"So is that a yes to Devon?" Ollie looks at the others and I jump over to kneel beside him, clasping my hands together and making my eyes all big and pitiful as I silently beg everyone else to agree to come along too.

"Yes, of course we'll go to Devon." Damien grins, tugging me back up beside him on the bed. "We can rent a car and go on a road trip."

"Yes, road trip, whoop. Now feed me. I'm starving." I point at the Chinese food, which has steam rising off of it and the smell alone is making me salivate.

"You just ate at least half a pizza and a spring roll, how can you be starving?" Gale laughs at me, chucking the pizza box towards the bin on the opposite side of the room and doing a quick happy dance when it lands right in it.

"I think the real question is, how is she not the size of a house?" Emery, who is beautifully toned and slim, grabs at her non-existent tummy and sighs. "I'm going to have to spend days at the gym after eating this or I'll end up with a belly to rival Santa Claus. But you can gorge all day long and not put on a pound."

"It's the running I think, anyway." I can't wait for them to dish stuff out onto plates, my stomach rumbles loudly as I grab the bag of prawn crackers and place it in the bed between Gale and me. "You should come with me, it's fun."

"Yeah, no." She laughs. "I don't do outdoor running, I need to distract myself with the TV on the treadmills at the gym to get through it."

"Ok, so we're definitely all going, yes? Devon? You can't back out now." Ollie asks, waiting until we all nod, before relaxing and starting to eat. "Good, because it's actually in the middle of the Moors, so it's maybe a half hour drive to the beach, but there's no neighbours for miles so we won't have to worry about noise."

While we eat, Ollie tells us all about his house in Devon or more accurately, he tells us fantastic tales about pixies leading people astray and random hairy hands making people drive off the road, as well as bogs so deep they can swallow a cow whole. 

I'm not entirely sure I believe him, but the images I've seen online of Devon are beautiful and I can't wait to go and see it all for myself.