Alessia: In Another Life, We Would Be Mates

It’s a relief when I finally return to my room, a space where I can truly be myself, a place where I can unleash my misery without being wary. The tears that I was holding back during Kai’s funeral roll down my cheeks, gushing out all at once now that they are free. I wish I could be the same. I wish I could leave this place and just go away like Kai. 

I sit down at the edge of the bed and bury my face in my open arms as I sob relentlessly. I sob until I feel like throwing up and I dry heave at the thought. I lie down on the bed when sitting feels too exhausting. 

I fish out the chain from my pocket and close my fingers around it, balling my fist until my nails dig into the meat of my palm. The pain makes me hiss, and more tears well up. I let my mind wander, let my thoughts lead to the person who had become my happy place for the past few months.

~~~~~

[5 months ago….]

Another new day, another boring and exhausting new day at this ostentatious palace filled with morons and conniving people. I stroll down the long corridor, which remains mostly lifeless at this time of the day, that is in the afternoon. The summer is slowly setting in, making its presence known through the harsh sun and prickly heat. I dab my face before clasping my hands behind my back. 

Lola, Sandy, and Devi must be having fun now, taking classes in the pack’s local college and then returning together. They must be visiting the ice cream parlor these days before returning to the pack house. Devi has gotten a new boy toy and Lola is dating one hottie from the pack for 6 months now. I shake my head at that. Thanks to Sandy for keeping me updated or I am rarely a part of their fun now, My heart clenches as I let myself imagine — them having the times of their lives, getting to take the pleasure of simple fun-loving days while I…

I spot the empty garden chairs, milky white and looking even whiter as the sun beats down upon them. I contemplate for a while. Mom doesn’t like it when I get tanned. Well, I don’t care about what she likes or dislike now, I thought bitterly and stepped out. I squinted against the daylight as I walk towards the chair and sit down, hissing when I feel the heat against my behind. 

However, the chair is half under the leafy shade of the trees that line the garden, hiding it from the eager views of servants and guests alike. That is why mom chose a room for you here, to isolate you from others because you are weird and an idiot, a voice sneers at the back of my mind. I close my eyes, swallowing down the lump that formed in my throat. 

I recline back and tip my head back, exposing my face to the sun, not getting any relief from it. 

“Sunbathing is usually done at a beach and definitely not at 2 in the afternoon.” 

My eyes snap open and I lock eyes with the most beautiful emerald eyes I have ever seen in my 20 years. The man amusedly looks back at me. I straighten and look away, feeling my face turning hot in seconds. 

“I didn’t know random people wandered here, commenting on what others do,” I say defensively. It’s always like this—me doing something weird and someone randomly commenting on that. 

I crane my neck to look at him again. He doesn’t budge, standing there with his arms folded, his biceps bulging and the seams of half-sleeves of his blue t-shirt barely keeping up with that. I swallow nervously before standing up. Sitting and talking is not a good idea.

Even after standing, he is at least a foot and a couple of inches taller than me. 

“I am Alpha Azriel’s beta, so that doesn’t really make me a random guy,” he retorts. 

I step away. Crossing my arms, I try to curb my annoyance. How did my life turn into this?

“Well, I wouldn’t know.” I feel an annoying simmer in my gut. I was never treated very respectfully even in my older pack, but at least no one bothered me like that. 

I glance at the beta who I find is still staring at me. I avert my gaze immediately. I huff and start walking towards the corridor. 

“I was just looking out for you. We don’t want a pretty wolf like you to get burned by the sun, do we?” I stop in my tracks. My stomach twists uneasily. 

I turn and glare at him. His smirk falters. 

“I hate those words and the kind that says this.” I don’t wait for his response as I leave. 

~~~~

Pretty.

Sexy.

Gorgeous.

Slut.

That is what I have heard. Not directly. Of course, no. But the whispers weren’t really suppressed. They were meant for me to hear indirectly. 

Presenting as a gamma had sealed my luck in the pack. I was an alpha’s daughter. My mother was an omega, so how on earth did I become a gamma? I should either have been an alpha or an omega, right? Father always introduced me as his blood, as his daughter. He doted on me like one, but the pack knew. The pack knew why I was a gamma. I knew why I was a gamma after I turned 15. 

“Stop treating like your own! Stop this nonsense of being a good person. I hate it. I hate you being the image of an ideal alpha when you are nothing but weak! And a people pleaser. Stop this… stop making people believe you are an ideal alpha because you are fucking not!” I had stood there stunned. Not because mom was shouting, another drunken fit of hers, but because dad remained silent. He had not said a word as he sat at the edge of the bed in their bedroom while mom swayed on her feet. 

“You make them believe the kids are yours, but you know what? No one believes it,” she says and snickers. I am too stunned and shocked to move from the doorway. My feet wouldn’t move as I stared in horror through the crack in the door at the scene unfolding. 

“I slept. Fucked men, alphas, betas, and gammas to bear those two. I had to smile. Pretend to smile in front of everyone and not wretch in disgust at the fact that the kids weren’t yours, that every other vacation is not about us spending time, but about me sleeping with someone else who is not my mate. I hate you because of that. I hate you and the kids. I hate you!”

A sudden knock on the door jolts me back to reality. 

I get up from my desk where I’d been preparing to take online classes and open the door. 

“What now?” I ask, irritated, as I cross my arms and look at Azriel’s beta. 

He bows curtly. “Firstly, I wanted to apologize for my earlier behavior.” 

I frown. “Did… anyone ask you to apologize?” This is damn new. 

The man glances up and frowns slightly. Then, he shakes his head. 

“Alpha Azriel wants to have dinner with you and the apology was unprompted.” I clench my fist and give a curt nod. 

“I will meet him at dinner then.” I am about to close the door when he says. 

“And… my apology?” 

His green eyes stare hopefully at me. I shrug. “I’ve forgotten about that already.”

His lips curl into a radiant smile, making my heart skip a beat or two. 

*********

[Present…]

A knock on the door startles me. I rub the grogginess off my eyes and sit up. When had I fallen asleep? I sigh through my nose when I hear the knocking again. 

“Come in,” I holler, my voice cracking at the tail end. 

It must be another stupid beta or another annoying delta asking me to do something the ‘Queen’ has ordered me to do. When my eyes fall on the full-length mirror towards the left, leaning against the wall, I cringe. I look terrible. If it’s one of my mom’s cronies, then I will be grilled later. 

“Wait,” I say hurriedly when I hear the doorknob twist. It stops. 

I hurriedly walk to my dresser and fix my face and hair. Giving a once over, I holler at them to come in again. 

I don’t expect at all is Kai’s sister, Aysel.

She bows curtly. “Alpha King has assigned me as your bodyguard from today.” I can almost feel her fury and feel nothing but pity for her. 

I try my best to smile. “Really? Then” I walk up to her and stretch out my hand. “Looking forward to your company.” Aysel straightens and her lips curve into a thin smile.