In the darkness, there remained spots – sparkles, glittering sparkles – of light, which shone silver as the stars. I brushed past them, uninterested in their beauty. I had suffered so much. Was this not my right? Was peace not more than I was allowed?And then I heard a voice. Real or hallucinated, I didn’t know. But the voice drew me close, pulled me into strong arms, arms that smelt like snow and woodsmoke and pine, and I could taste wine on his lips, and the voice inside me grew louder.‘Don’t give in, beautiful. Don’t give up.’It was a voice I knew even in death, and I clung to it. It was gravel and honey, sin and sorrow, beauty and pain and good and evil and whimsy and smirks and sardonic and oh, how I loved it.How I loved him.The past and the present separated. Memories untangled, leaving behind the raw, rasping sound of my throat as I screamed for help, as water – cold, icy cold water – rushed over my head, rushed down, down, down into my lungs. But that was the past, and I
I shoved myself up – only to wobble on my still-chained legs and stumble back down onto the sand. I slumped down; there was no strength in my arms, and I struggled to haul myself back up into a sitting position. To their credit, neither of my grandparents rushed to my aid. I knew the offer of help was there, but I’d never been one to enjoy being mollycoddled. I would get myself up.“He got away?” I grunted, brushing my sandy hands on my sandy, chained thighs.“We were lucky to find you, little wolf.” Nana Baspy’s creased face twisted with sympathy. I met her gaze, hating the pity I found there, and nodded.Then everything else that had fallen to the back of my mind hit me, all at once. “Shit,” I muttered, looking between them with wide eyes. “Mum – has she left for Winterpaw?” “Not yet,” said Grandpa Attie, and the knot in my chest loosened slightly. “Your dad has been holding her up, for as long as he can.” A smile played at the corner of his thin, lined lips. “He’ll get himself loc
Despite my protests, I spent two nights recovering at the cabin. Nana Baspy and Grandpa Attie stayed with me, certain that they would not be missed while the Warrior Wolves prepared to march on the Winterpaw Warrior Pack.I was restless, which my grandparents took as a good sign – as a sign that I was healing, that I was recovering from my most recent ordeal. Of course, they didn’t wake with me when nightmares pulled me from my sleep, or when the gleaming, clear surface of my bathwater suddenly became dark and rippled. I shoved these things down, preferring to focus on what I could do, on the future I could change, if only we hurried up and damn well left this lovely, warm, cosy cabin behind.I’d not heard my grandparents mindlinking me – but I had heard Ares. I still had no idea if that had been my own subconscious trying to wake me, desperate for me to get a grip and swim to the surface, or if, somehow, Ares had found a way to communicate with
‘So,’ I mindlinked to Dad, running beside him in his huge dark-furred wolf form, ‘tell me everything I need to know.’I relished in the steady thud thud thud of my paws against the hard soil. For the first time since I’d run with Annia, Cendres, and Ares, I felt like I was part of a team again – damn it, like I was part of a pack. Dad had cried when he'd first seen me - actually cried - and I was unashamed to admit that, well, damn it, I'd cried too. It had only been days since I'd last seen him, but it felt like months. Years. Decades. Everything was blurred, made hazy by the residual tang of fear tainting my mind and my memories of the last week.We were curving up around the western section of Blue Moon’s border, staying well off the path and using the trees to mask our journey. With Mum and her wolves a day ahead of us, a fact that still made my blood boil and my heart clench with fear, it was unlikely tha
Darkness crested the horizon. It swelled within me, too, eclipsing all logical sense and plans when I heard Ares speak, his words drilling straight into my mind and leaving a gaping hole in their wake. He was too damned close. And, because he was too damned close, he was at risk. Every worry – every fear – I’d had while we’d been running bloomed anew, settling in my stomach like lead as I heard his beautiful, damning voice. ‘Haile! Haile, can you hear me? Shit, you’d better be able to hear me, you’d better be safe, damn it, please don't be dead–’ I cut him off. ‘Ares! Why can I hear you? We shouldn’t be close enough to mindlink, not yet–’ ‘I thought you were dead!’ He swore viciously, and I felt his emotions surging through the bond. There was shock and relief, heady and giddy, which made his head spin; that encompassed everything, save for the knot of worry that remained somewhere near the centre of his chest. ‘Why did you think I was dead?’ My own worries were replaced by con
I could hear my heartbeat in my ears. I could feel it in my bones. My whole body shook with the force of it; blood pounded against my skin, threatening to break through if I didn’t move, and move now.‘No,’ I mindlinked to Ares. ‘No, she can’t be.’He didn’t answer. My stomach rolled.‘Ares?’Nothing. I twisted around, trusting my instincts to guide me forwards even as I locked eyes with my dad. ‘Mum’s found him,’ I mindlinked, sending the message to my grandparents as well. ‘She’s there.’‘Shit.’ Dad didn’t often swear. Hearing him curse made the reality of the situation sink in further. This was bad. Really bad. My muscles burned with exertion and my lungs strained against my ribcage, but the physical pain of running hard after being in that damned lake was nothing compared to the pain of knowing I might never hear that gravel and honey voice ever again.No. I couldn’t think like that. ‘Ares?’ I tried again, every part of me aching to hear from him, to know that he was okay.‘Do
‘I’m sorry, Haile,’ Etta mindlinked to me. ‘It’s for your own good.'I lunged in front of her, letting my own shift rip through me. ‘No, it isn’t. It’s revenge, Etta – misplaced revenge, damn it.’‘You'll see that I'm right soon enough. He killed Damon, Haile. He killed my mum. You can’t love him. You just can’t.’I slammed into Etta, sending her stumbling back – and away from Ares’s prone form. I wanted to mindlink him, to turn and check on him, but her paws were lifting off the ground, the pads of them dotted with dew, and they were reaching for me.I ducked under her blow. I knew how she fought; I’d stood at her side, defending her weaknesses and uplifting her strengths on the battlefield, time after time. And yet now here we were, opposite one another rather than standing shoulder to shoulder.Behind me, I could hear the tussles of another battle taking place. I had to ignore it; I had to ignore the fact that my parents and grandparents were fighting. Our once secure family unit h
The sun climbed steadily overhead as we sprinted through the woods. Determination, driven by terror over Ares’s condition, led the way. Birdsong and the chirping of crickets swirled through the air like dust motes, undaunted and uninhibited by our presence in their woodland home. They sounded too sweet, too jolly, for the sour mood that clung to us as we ran. A perpetual cloud hovered over me, casting the pale winter sunlight in shades of grey.I had to keep blinking to make sure my vision wasn’t truly returning to the grey scale I had once known. Between the shadows and my sadness, it was hard to tell. The claw marks on my arm, sliced there by Mum by accident, had already healed, but they still hurt somewhere deeper, somewhere darker, within my soul. If I’d been in my human body, I would’ve rubbed at the healed wound, irritated by the force of my emotions.I had bigger things to worry about, but I couldn’t get it out of my head. The way my mum had looked when she’d seen what she’d d