Chapter Eight

Why do you want to leave? What did I do babe?" Khalan asked, desperate.

Adam was making his bags. After Mike's threat he decided to stay away from this life here, he couldn't let his daughters in that environment, he didn't know what Mike was capable of. 

"I'm not happy here Khalan, I barely see you nowadays, why should I stay here? I'll go back to my hometown where my father is."

"Please Adam, all I'm doing here is because of you, because of our daughters, just have a little more patience babe I promise you this situation will not be going to be forever."

"I feel alone here Khalan, I tried God knows how much I tried but it is not working."

"Please." Khalan said trying to hold Adam on his arms but that didn't reach Adam, he was scared, that night he saw in Mike's eyes, his determination, he feared for his and his daughters safety. 

He could not stay. 

"You can visit us whenever you want." Adam says with an emotional voice.

Khalan gave up and released Adam from his arms. Sitting on his bed, he watched the love of his life packing his bags to leave him as he questioned himself what he did wrong. 

---

Khalan

I was back in Atlanta after spending the weekend with Adam and the girls. I hate the situation we are in right now. The way he is acting is as if he doesn't love me anymore and a world where Adam doesn't love me is a world I don't know how to live in.

I believed in him when he told me that he was not cheating on me but I was so blind with jealousy that I destroyed the beautiful thing we had.

My head was spinning; the last thing I want to do today is recording. I only want to lay down all day and forget about everything but I can't. I have to go to the studio, I have to record, and I have to go to the after party...

For the first time since I achieved success, I started to question if it was all worth it. I don't have Adam, I can't be in public with my daughters, I lost my liberty, paparazzi chase me around for whenever I go, I'm all alone in this fucking city with nobody that I love with me.

Do not look like that all worth it.

Back at the apartment where Adam once lived with me I open the door to find nothing but silence, after spending the weekend with my daughters playing and running around the house which leaves Adam very mad, being at a big apartment like this is sad. I wish I could have them with me but even in this, I failed him. I let the fear get the best of me, fear of the media discover I was in a relationship with a man, fear for my daughters to be harassed, fear of losing Adam.

However, what good did my fear do?

I am alone anyway.

My phone vibrates beside me indicating that I have a new message, unlocking it I saw Mike's message saying he was coming over.

He may not be the best person but when I needed him he was always there to help me, giving me advice regarding my relationship and helping me deal with the media and stuff.

I was a little suspicious of him in the beginning because Adam did not like him but then he proved he was trustworthy, making me get bigger each day more.

Laying on my big couch in the living room, the sofa I bought thinking about the countless nights I would spend here watching movies with my family. I bought even the biggest television of the store to make it look like we were in a cinema. The things I imagined I was going to show them, to give them, to experience with them are now only distant wishes that my heart once had.

I didn't know for how long I was lost in thoughts until my doorbell alerts me.

"Hey." Mike says as I open the door. He has a bottle on his hand that must be wine. "I brought wine to cheer you up since you were so down on the phone."

"Thanks man, come on in." Yes, I told Mike what happened with Adam. He felt so sorry for me that he wanted to know when I would arrive so he could come over, did not wanting to leave me alone.

 

Also, he's the only friend I have left.

"I brought some weed too. I know you like it."

"You didn't have to Mike, you're my manager not my baby-sitter but I appreciate your help."

"Nah Khalan we are friends right? Besides I like you, you're a nice guy." He says looking at me and I just give him a smile.

We were chilling in my living room; I must be smoking my fourth joint by now. I just want to forget about everything and imagine I'm just a normal person, with a normal job and a family.

"Have you ever thought about having another life?" I ask Mike, I don't know what's up with weed but it put us to think about things in life.  

"Nope. I don't imagine myself doing anything else. Why?" He turns on the couch to look at me. "Are you questioning things?"

"I was thinking how my life would be if I was just a regular guy. I could still have him." I said thinking about a normal life with Adam. 

"Khalan let him go, the signs that you two aren't meant to be together are all there but you don't want to see."

"Is hard Mike. I loved Adam for all my life, how do you stop loving someone like this?" He sits closer to me that our arms are touching.

"You have to let someone make you forget about him." He says putting a hand on my leg. "I can make you forget about him Khalan if you let me." He says, now really close to me.

He put both is hands on my face making me look at his eyes, I never imagined Mike was anything but straight, he always acted tough and was so against me and Adam in the beginning that I thought at the time he was homophobic.

Now where we are, his lips centimeters away from mine, the desperation on his face was evident and I asked myself how I never noticed this before...

He likes me. 

"Let me?" He asks one more time and I want so badly to forget Adam, to forget that right now he must be on somebody else's arms, being happy with somebody else, that I don't even think at the moment.

"Okay." I say and he didn't lose time connecting our lips in a hard and desperate kiss. He holds me as if he does not want to let me go, he keeps kissing and pushing me on the couch until I lay down and he is on top sitting on my lap.

I just want to forget just for tonight so I let him drive my mind away.