Chapter 6

Early as always, Phin waited outside the detention center and decided to call his brother Ash to waste time. He told himself he wasn’t loitering outside so he could run into Emily, but it was a big, fat lie.

“Phin! I thought you were dead. Thanks for finally calling me back,” said Ash with a laugh. “How’s it going?”

Ash had called Phin three times in the last week to talk about getting Phin fitted for his tuxedo, but between three different clients and Katherine haunting his office with offhand comments about going on dates with various women she knew, Phin had completely forgotten to call his older brother back.

“Not dead,” answered Phin dryly, “although I feel like I should be.”

“Don’t die before my wedding, because then we’ll have an uneven number of bridesmaids to groomsmen and Violet will have a fit.”

When Phin was younger, he would’ve taken Ash’s comment at face value. It was only as he’d gotten older that he realized that most people tended to say the opposite of what they meant. It had puzzled him as a small child; now he merely used it to his own advantage.

“Can you come up next weekend? That seems to work the best for everyone,” said Ash.

Right then, Emily came walking toward Phin, her dark hair in a pretty braid over her shoulder. She smiled brightly as she saw him. Phin’s heart did that annoying little clench it always did when he saw her.

Which wouldn’t be for much longer. Phin would have Josh take this plea deal to save his skin, and then it would be over. Phin would never see Emily or her brother again. He told himself that was how it should be.

“Were you waiting for me? Oh, you’re on the phone. Sorry.” Emily smiled awkwardly and was about to go inside, but Phin shook his head, stopping her.

“Ash, I have to go. Talk to you soon.”

“Did I hear a woman’s voice? Phin, are you holding out on me? Hey—”

Phin hung up before Ash could needle him. It was one of Ash’s favorite pastimes.

“Just talking to my brother. How are you?” said Phin as he and Emily entered the center.

Her mouth turned down as they went through security. He suddenly felt the weight of the place right then. He was used to the guards, the metal detectors, the feeling that it was just one step above a prison for kids.

But seeing Emily’s drawn expression, he realized how screwed up that was, that he was used to this by now. How all the adults in this place didn’t bat an eyelash anymore. A feeling of futility washed over him in that moment, making him wonder why he even tried at all.

“Oh, I didn’t answer your question,” said Emily. She shrugged. “I’m fine. My brother is in here, and I can’t raise enough money to bail him out, but at least he isn’t in prison.”

Phin wished he could offer platitudes, something to make her smile. He didn’t have platitudes—he never did. Instead, he said rather gruffly, “He’s lucky, your brother, considering what happened.”

“Maybe. Or maybe he’s just another cog in a wheel of this messed-up world, that chews up and spits out kids like him. And like me.” She laughed a little. “I’m sorry. I’m talking about nothing.”

“Not nothing. Because I was one of those kids, too.”

Emily’s eyes widened just slightly before she covered the reaction with a bland expression. “Then you know how easy it is to fall into this particular pit.”

“Too well.”

Emily seemed like she wanted to say something else, but right then, Josh’s JCC—juvenile court counselor—took them to his office. Harry Benson wasn’t much older than Phin himself, although the lines on his face and the grim set to his mouth made him seem much older. Phin had worked with Harry multiple times already, and Phin knew that the man did his best for the kids inside here, despite a constant lack of resources.

“Hello, Younger. Nice to see you again, Ms. Lassiter. Josh is with a tutor right now.” Harry shook Phin’s hand before shaking Emily’s.

“Is he finally working on school again?” said Emily, hope in her voice. “He told me he thought it was a waste of time.”

Harry smiled wryly. “There’s not much to do around here except stare at the wall or try to keep up with school. Your brother finally decided he’d had enough wall-staring contests.”

Harry’s desk was always covered in paperwork; Phin was fairly certain Harry would never be able to finish it all at once. Photos of Harry’s wife and son encircled his computer monitor, while one wall had a faded motivational poster on it that read Perseverance—when the going gets tough, the tough get going. When Phin had asked about it once, Harry had said it had been left by the last counselor, who’d quit because he couldn’t do this job anymore. They’d both laughed darkly at the irony.

“I wanted to talk to you about an incident this morning,” said Harry right as Phin and Emily sat down. “I’m sorry to say that Josh got into a fight with another one of the boys.”

Emily paled. “A fight? Is he okay? Is the other boy okay? I’m so sorry, I told him to behave—”

Harry held up a hand. “Don’t apologize for him, Ms. Lassiter. I saw the entire thing. In Josh’s case, he was provoked: the other boy kept throwing bits of food at him. Your brother ignored it, until the other boy said something. I didn’t hear what he said, but Josh suddenly got up and grabbed the other boy. It took me and another security guard to break them up.”

Phin grimaced. Josh getting into a fight here wouldn’t help his case one bit. The judge could easily say that he should be remanded to adult court.

Phin rubbed his temples as he said, “Was anyone seriously injured?”

“No, thankfully. The other kid got a black eye, while Josh has a split lip. I’ve seen way worse.” Harry spoke directly to Emily now. “I’m sure you can guess that it doesn’t help Josh to get into fights right now. He’s already on the razor’s edge with these charges against him. This could move his case to adult court.”

To Emily’s credit, she didn’t burst into tears. Not like at Phin’s office, when she’d looked so defeated and so haunted. She kept her back straight, her hands in her lap. Only Phin could see how her fingers trembled.

“I’ll talk to him,” she said, steel in her voice. “Because I’m not going to let him throw his life away, no matter how much he seems not to care about it.”

Harry nodded. “I’ll tell someone to bring Josh down to the meeting room. Are you going to discuss the plea deal?”

“Yes. I believe it’s in everyone’s best interests,” said Phin.

He and Emily entered the meeting room, and Phin couldn’t help but be reminded of a feral animal when he saw Josh. But not an animal that had been feral all its life. Once he’d been a cherished pet, cosseted and fed, but then shitty circumstances had forced him onto the streets, and he’d done what he had to do to survive.

Phin could see the fear in Josh’s eyes, the uncertainty, which Josh covered up with a bad boy’s bravado. While Phin had buried himself in his books to avoid real life, Josh had tried to avoid it by acting like he was above the law itself.

Josh didn’t say anything as he and Emily sat down across from him. His lip was swollen, and there was a cut on his forehead.

“Oh, Josh,” said Emily sadly. “What happened?”

He shrugged. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Well, you should. You realize that this could be used against you. What were you thinking, getting into a fight? How do you think the judge will look at this?”

“Do you really think it’ll matter in the end?”

She looked shocked. “Of course it will. What are you talking about?”

Phin had seen this exact situation too many times: one person intent on their self-destruction, while another person did everything they could to save that person. Except more often than not, both people were destroyed in the end.

Phin said quietly, “If it doesn’t matter, then why are you wasting my time? Because I have other clients who are more than willing to try harder than you are.”

Surprise, then anger, crossed Josh’s face. “You don’t even fucking know me.”

“No, but you’re pretty much like any other teenage client I’ve had to deal with. The ones who think that if they act tough, they’ll get through this without a scratch. That isn’t how this works, though. The law doesn’t care if you act tough. And to be honest, I have enough on my plate without wasting time with someone who thinks he knows better than his own lawyer.”

Josh started to stand, like he wanted to fight Phin, too. Phin just waited. Josh was just a boy—an angry boy, but a kid nonetheless. He didn’t scare Phin.

“Josh, sit down. For God’s sake. Stop this. Can’t you just shut up and listen to what someone else has to say for once?” said Emily.

At that, Josh sat down, but he crossed his arms and looked away, like he could ignore everything going on and it would go away.

If only life worked like that.

Phin leaned forward, his voice low. “If you want out of here at all, you need to keep yourself out of trouble. No, I don’t care what some other kid says to you—turn around. Walk away. Because if you get into another fight, you aren’t leaving this place, and more than likely, will end up somewhere much worse.”

“Is that supposed to scare me?” said Josh.

“It should. Have you ever been to a real prison?”

Josh glanced at Emily, but she just waited for his answer. Phin could tell that she was as frustrated with her brother as Phin was.

Finally, Josh admitted, “No.”

“Then you don’t know how you only get a certain number of phone calls to people outside every day. How you’re told where to sleep, when you can go outside. You’ll sleep in a dorm with other prisoners, no privacy, nothing. You’ll have to save up money or hope someone outside is kind enough to send you money for anything you’d consider a basic luxury—soap, a razor. You’ll never get a moment alone. You’ll always have someone watching you.”

Phin shook his head. “You’re just a kid, no matter how much you want us to think otherwise. Don’t toss your life away like this. You have the chance to turn things around. Don’t keep going until it’s too late.”

Josh had turned pale, as if he’d never considered what prison would mean. He looked away again, but Phin could see the fear in his eyes. He could see the tension running through him. If Josh thought this place was hell, then he couldn’t imagine real prison.

“Listen to him, Josh. If not for yourself, then for me. I know you can keep out of trouble,” pleaded Emily.

Silence fell. Phin decided he might as well put everything on the table.

He said, “I’m advising that you take a plea deal, Josh. This means that you’ll plead guilty to the lesser crime of second-degree theft, which means you’d probably just get probation. You also won’t be tried as an adult.” Phin took a deep breath, knowing the next words he said probably wouldn’t go over well. “The plea deal is contingent, however, on you testifying against Reginald Berkley.”

Josh’s head swiveled toward him, his eyes wide with shock, then disgust. “I’m not going to rat out my best friend,” he said. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“He’s clearly not a great friend, considering he’s apparently more than willing to rat you out.”

“No. You’re wrong. You’re just saying that to get me to agree.”

“Why would he lie? He has no reason to, Josh,” said Emily.

“He’s a lawyer. They’re all liars.”

Phin could see the stubborn look come back to Josh’s face, and he wanted to shake the boy.

“I’m not ratting out a friend. Snitches get stitches,” recited Josh.

“Oh, Josh,” whispered Emily.

“Then I guess we’re done here.” Phin stood.

He waited for Emily, but she shook her head. “I want to talk to him in private.”

Phin went outside again, leaning against the brick wall and feeling the sun beat down on his face. He didn’t need to wait for Emily a second time. He knew that, and yet, he wanted to. He wanted to make sure she got on the bus okay. He wanted to—what? Talk to her? Do more than talk to her?

He laughed darkly. He pushed his fingers through his hair, disheveling it.

He made a few calls, almost about to leave, when Emily came outside finally. She started in surprise when she saw him.

“You didn’t need to wait for me.”

Phin stuffed his hands in his pockets. “I wanted to,” he said gruffly.

Color suffused her cheeks. When she bit down on her lower lip, Phin almost groaned. Why did she have to affect him so much?

“Josh says he won’t take the deal. I don’t know what to do.” Emily wrung her hands.

“It’s his decision. Let him think about it.”

She sighed. “I know, but he’s so stubborn. I could see him refusing to do it just out of spite.”

“Then he signs his own life away. That’s his choice.”

Emily looked so defeated right then, her shoulders slumped, dark circles under her eyes. Had she been sleeping at all? When she winced as she leaned against the same wall Phin had been standing against, he said, “What is it?”

“Oh, nothing. Just my arms. They’re tired from working all night.” She rubbed her right forearm, flexing her fingers.

Phin could see calluses on her palms and see the muscles in her arms from working hard. A white scar covered the back of her right thumb, and before he thought better of it, he lifted her hand to his face. “Burn?” he asked.

Her voice was breathy now. “Yeah, from the fryer. Got too close one night and paid for it.”

He touched the scar with his thumb. Yet when Emily shuddered slightly, he let her go.

God, he was a fool. It didn’t matter that she was beautiful and kind and devoted to her brother. It didn’t matter that he wanted to touch the dark curl of hair that lay against her neck that had come loose from her braid. It didn’t matter that he wished he could keep her safe somewhere, until the calluses faded from her hands and that she’d never get burned or hurt working again.

None of what he wanted mattered, though. All he could do was try his best to save her brother.

Phin knew that if Josh were lost, it would destroy Emily most of all.