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All Grown Up More Than Dancing
AudreyWhen I first leased this place, planning to use it as my dance training studio while I was stuck here in Aberdeen, I had thought about getting rid of the couch. After all, the thing wasn’t very appealing, with its worn-out leather and dust. It looked like it had been there since before I was born. Not only that, but it was just going to get in the way as I was dancing.I had wanted a proper dance studio, with all the trimmings. Floor-length mirrors and good lighting and everything. A place like I had back in France. At the very least, I wanted a good rectangular room that was large enough to move around in. A place where I didn’t have to worry about some couch that the previous owners hadn’t taken with them when they moved on. Because I was sure that I was never, ever going to need that couch.Now, I had to admit that I was pretty dang glad that I had kept the stupid thing around, in spite of the time that I had stubbed my toes on the leg.I smiled up at Jesse as he trailed his
All Grown Up Losing Her Already
JesseI knew that, eventually, I was going to have to let go of Audrey. This night had cemented that fact in my mind more than anything else. Of course, she had flat-out told me, right from the start, that she was only here for six months, and only because her director had told her that she had to take six months off from her dance academy. I had never even expected her to actually be here for six months.Her impending departure was nothing new, but at the same time, it up to now had just been some nebulous thing off in the future. Something that I dreaded, sure, and something that we probably needed to talk about at some point. But it was something that I knew I still had time to tackle.Tonight, I wasn’t so sure. Tonight, it felt like I was losing her already.It was all to do with that dance of hers.First of all, it had shown me that her ankle, although not fully healed yet, was definitely on the mend. She hadn’t wrapped it before dancing, and even though I knew it was a workout s
All Grown Up It's All an Act
Jesse“You’re so sappy,” Audrey said, but I could tell that she wasn’t unhappy with that.We lay there quietly for a while longer, until I felt like I could doze off right there on the couch, uncomfortable as it was since I couldn’t stretch out and since it wasn’t really meant to fit both of us like this.I finally sighed. “I guess I’d better get you home, huh?” I asked her.“I guess,” Audrey agreed with a small sigh of her own. “I kind of wish I had my own place so that I wouldn’t have to worry about getting home. But I don’t want Mom to wonder where I am or if I’m all right. Nor do I really want to tell her that I’m, you know, sleeping with you. I’m sure she already knows, but it’s not the conversation that I want to have with her.”“Yeah, but if you had your own place here in Aberdeen, then you’d have to stay,” I pointed out, trying not to sound too wistful as I teased her about it.She was quiet for a moment, and I knew that she was considering how to answer that.“Just a joke,” I
All Grown Up Unexpected Phone Call
AudreyI woke up early Tuesday morning to the sound of my phone ringing on the nightstand. I frowned as I groped for it. I had just peered at the screen when Annabelle’s pillow hit me from the other side of the room. “Seriously, put that thing on silent before you go to bed,” she grumbled before rolling over and curling toward the wall.“Sorry,” I whispered, getting up and bringing the phone out into the hall with me. It was still early, but I felt surprisingly awake. And there was no way I wasn’t taking this call. The name that I’d seen on the screen? The director of the Global Travelling Dance Academy of Performing Arts.My heart thumped in my chest. Was he calling to tell me that they had found a replacement for me? That they no longer needed me in Paris, and that I should start making other plans?Of course, when I thought about the other plans that I might make, my mind immediately leaped to Jesse. I tried to remind myself that that wasn’t what I wanted. I wanted to go back to Pa
All Grown Up Three Weeks
AudreyThe director continued, “Of course, this will all be up to the doctors and the trainers. You’ll be required to check in with them after every training before you ever set foot on stage for a show. But if your ankle really is doing as well as you say it is, then I think it’s about time that you took one of the lead roles.”“Thank you,” I said breathlessly. In my head, I was already thinking about all the training that I would need to do here over the next three weeks so that I wasn’t an embarrassment when I returned to Paris. At least I hadn’t been out for the full six months. Things would come back quickly, I was sure. I would just have to make sure that I stuck to my diet and kept working out at my studio during the day.It would give me something to do, and I was grateful for that. Things would finally start to feel normal again.“Is three weeks enough time?” the director asked. “I don’t want you to rush your recovery. But we could really use you. The next round of shows star
All Grown Up Running Out of Time
JesseI smiled at Audrey as she made her way through the crowded bar to get to me. Gabby’s was packed tonight. Something to do with the drink specials. It still wasn’t my favorite place, especially not when it was this busy, but Audrey had asked if I wanted to join her, and there was no way I was saying no to that.Besides, it was about time that we went out in public again. Things had been great between us lately. We saw one another nearly every night. Most of our time together was spent either back at my place or at her dance studio, though, and although that lent itself to a certain other sort of fun, it was also nice to see her dressed to the nines and grinning at me across the crowded space.“Hey,” she said, hopping up on the stool next to mine. She looked around. “Man, it’s busy in here. I mean, Annabelle said that it might be for a Friday night, but I kind of thought that she was kidding. Who are all these people?”I laughed and shrugged, happiness welling up in me just from se
All Grown Up Selfish
JesseNot only that, but I liked seeing how relaxed she got the longer she was here in North Carolina. Every day she seemed to smile a little more and laugh a little more easily. I wondered if anyone in Paris ever got to see her like this, and I liked to imagine that they didn’t. I liked to imagine that Audrey reserved this for me, that it was the culmination of our long friendship and our current intimacy.Maybe I only wanted to know that she was going to miss me as much as I was going to miss her. I knew that was pretty foolish in and of itself, though. She was going to be busy when she went back to Paris. She would have new dances to learn, friends to catch up with, a dozen things vying for her attention. If she got bored, she was there in a bustling, cultural metropolis with a dozen types of entertainment right there at her fingertips.Unlike here in Aberdeen, where it would just be me, myself, and I. I couldn’t work hard enough at the hardware store to forget about her now, let a
All Grown Up Get A Room
JesseI exhaled, imagining the expressions on the stiff faces of some ballet directors. Yeah, I couldn’t imagine that going over very well. At best, they would probably be confused. At worst, they would think she was mocking them or something. Wasting their time.She definitely wasn’t wasting my time. I couldn’t get enough of her.We danced and sang until we were breathless, then headed back to the bar, where Annabelle was just wiping her hands on a rag. “Hey,” she said brightly. “You guys having fun out there?”Audrey collapsed dramatically on a stool. “Water,” she requested, and her sister laughed, filling the order and then pulling a beer for me.“Thanks,” I said, taking a healthy sip of it. I was hot and sweaty, but I felt stupidly alive, a grin on my face as I looked over at Audrey, who grinned right back at me.“Ugh, get a room, you two,” Annabelle joked. She glanced over at her coworker. “Hey, I’m going to go on my break, okay?”“Sure thing,” Mark said, nodding at her.Annabell
Latest chapter
All Grown Up All Grown Up
AudreyI couldn’t believe that Jesse had gone to all of this work to build the perfect nursery for our baby. From the looks of the crib, it was hand-built, not just one of those flimsy things that you put together from the store. I could tell that there was still some work that he planned on putting into that, and there was a rocking chair only half finished on the floor. But Jesse was building me a nursery for our baby.I could barely believe it.Here I had been so worried that he would want nothing to do with me or the baby, when in fact, exactly the opposite was true. He wanted this enough that he was willing to put his love and dedication into incorporating us into his life and his home. He wanted our baby to grow up here just like he had grown up here.He was so perfect. I didn’t know how to tell him that.Instead, I was given the opportunity to show it to him.I caught his hands in mine and tugged him out of the nursery and back down the hallway to his bedroom. This time, I was
All Grown Up Moving Forward
JesseWhen I heard Audrey’s reasons for why she hadn’t told me about the pregnancy, I felt my heart break a little. Not because her reasons were terrible, but because I’d been so terrible to her this week. If she’d only explained things to me before. I knew that was my fault, though. I hadn’t let her explain. We’d been tired and too full of emotions to really talk last weekend, but I at least should have made time to see her earlier in the week.I didn’t know what I’d been expecting from her, but her actual reasons for not telling me were almost too sweet.“I’m assuming that you want to try to get yourself back into shape and go back to being a ballerina once the baby is born?” I said now, at dinner.To my surprise, Audrey shook her head. “Honestly, I think those days are over.”“I’m sure you can talk to your director and work something out with him,” I said, frowning. “I know there was the injury as well as this, but he seems like a reasonable guy. It’s not like you don’t have the ta
All Grown Up Mending Bridges
AudreyJesse slowly came up to the porch, like he thought I might run in the other direction. “You look really pretty,” he said quietly.“Is that all you came here to say?” I asked tartly.The lips of his mouth twitched with a grin. “Just the start of it,” he promised me. “Have you already eaten? I was hoping that maybe I could take you to dinner and we could talk.”I stared at him for a long moment. So now he wanted to talk? I wanted to hear whatever it was that he wanted to say, though. I wanted him, so badly that I ached. I found myself nodding. “Let’s go,” I said, heading toward his truck.We were both silent on the way to the restaurant that had been our favorite as teens. I should have known that he would take me there. Back to where it all began. There was a part of me that was terrified that I was never going to be able to come back here again after this too-serious conversation that we were about to have.There was another part of me that soared with hope, wondering if this m
All Grown Up Missing Him
AudreyI shook my head. “It’s more complicated than that,” I sighed. “He just got mad because I didn’t tell him that I was pregnant until we were on the way to the hospital. I lied to him about why I was back here, and he can’t trust me anymore.” I bit my lip. “I deserve it, for waiting for the perfect time. I just didn’t think waiting was going to end up making things so terrible.”“Oh, Audrey,” Annabelle sighed, coming over to sit next to me on the bed and giving me a hug. I knew she was probably going to be running late for her shift, but she didn’t seem to care. She just wanted to make sure that I was all right. I nearly cried with how much I appreciated it.She noticed. “Are you crying?”I had to laugh. “Hormones,” I told her. “I’m pregnant, remember? My emotions are all over the place.”She shook her head and went to grab me a tissue from the box on the dresser. “For what it’s worth, I don’t think he’ll be mad at you forever,” she said. “You didn’t see him when you were in Paris
All Grown Up Baby On Board
AudreyI’d had a great day with Mom and Annabelle, cooing over all the adorable little things that we could buy for the baby in the local mall. I knew that they were really excited about the baby, but as much as I tried to match their enthusiasm, I still couldn’t help but feel upset and unsure. It would have been so much easier if I had known that Jesse and I were an item and that he was going to be there for me. For us.I still hadn’t heard from him, though, and now it had been nearly a week since he had found out about the fact that I was pregnant.It had been a long week. Other than that shopping trip, I had barely left the house. What was there to do? Anywhere that I went around town, there was a chance that I might run into Jesse. I didn’t want to admit that I was avoiding him, but the conversation that he and I needed to have wasn’t one that I really wanted to start in public where anyone could witness it.It was a small town. Soon enough, everyone was going to realize that I wa
All Grown Up Audrey
JesseI took a calming breath to steady myself. No. I at least knew Audrey well enough to know that she wouldn’t do something like that without at least telling me that was her plan. Even though I hadn’t reached out to her, she knew where to find me if she really needed to talk about something like that. She knew where I worked, and she knew where I lived.At least, I thought I knew Audrey well enough to trust in that. If not Audrey, though, I had a feeling I would have caught an earful from Annabelle if her sister was even considering that.“You’re sure it’s yours?” Joe asked.“Yeah,” I said. I grimaced. “I actually asked her if it was someone else’s and that was why she hadn’t told me about it. She got pretty upset that I had even dared to think that she might have been with someone else. I believe her.”Joe nodded, and I could tell he was thinking everything over.“Am I right to be angry with her?” I asked, when he didn’t say anything. “I mean, she flat-out lied to me. You were rig
All Grown Up Processing
JesseI knew that I should probably talk to Audrey. Not talking to her was driving me crazy. She had always been one of my best friends, and if there was anyone that I wanted to talk to, it was definitely her. I missed her. I wanted to know how she was handling all of this. I wanted to know what she was thinking.I wanted to make sure that she was following the doctor’s orders to rest and stay off her feet for a little bit, in case it was the stress that had caused that terrible cramping that she’d had the other night. It had been hard for Audrey to stay off her feet before when her ankle was injured, so I could only imagine how she was coping with it now.I hoped for the sake of the baby, our baby, that she was taking the doctor’s words seriously. I had a feeling she would be, though. Somehow, I knew that she was going to make an incredible mother. That little baby was lucky.It was one of the few things that I was sure of.The rest of it was all uncertainties, and that right there w
All Grown Up Stress
Audrey“Eleven weeks,” I said. “Annabelle and I went for the ultrasound on Friday.” I pulled out the picture to show her, and her face lit up.“Look at that little peanut of a thing,” she cooed. “He looks adorable.”“He?” I asked skeptically. “You can’t possibly tell that from the picture.”Mom tutted. “Let me have my dream,” she said. “It would be good to have a little man around the household again. Besides, look at the way he’s positioned. He must be a boy.”I tried not to laugh. “Maybe it’s a boy,” I said, glancing at Annabelle.“Audrey’s hoping it’s a girl so that she can teach her to be a ballerina,” Annabelle said.“The world could use more male ballerinas,” Mom said, winking at me. “I always wished that I would have a boy to balance out you girls.” She sounded wistful, and I suddenly realized that I had never known if two kids were all that she planned to have or if things just hadn’t worked out for more. It suddenly seemed like something that I should know.Mom was wrapped up
All Grown Up Telling Mom
AudreyI had barely left my bedroom for the rest of the weekend after Jesse dropped me off at home. I couldn’t help thinking of the terrible things that he had said to me out in the driveway. I couldn’t help thinking of how much I deserved for him to say those things and more to me.I had fucked up. I knew that now. No, I had known that all along. I knew that I should tell him about the baby. All the reasons not to tell him seemed so stupid now. I couldn’t even think how to apologize to him, in fact, that’s how stupid all the reasons sounded in my head.Not that I was going to get a chance to apologize to him. I had given him his space on Saturday. He wanted time to cool off and process things, and I would give that to him. Sunday, I hadn’t been able to stop myself from texting him, though. I understood if he wasn’t ready to talk yet, but I just wanted to know when he might be ready to talk. The uncertainty was killing me.He hadn’t responded. Suddenly, I felt panic go through me, eve
