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Not A Date
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2024-10-29 19:42:56Related chapters
All Grown Up Bowling
JesseI smiled over at Audrey as we pulled out of her mom’s driveway. “It must be nice to get to spend a lot of time with your family. Even if you did have to leave Paris and come back here for six months to do it.”Audrey cocked her head to the side. “I guess,” she said slowly. “I mean, it’s great to see them. I just can’t help feeling like, I don’t know…” She trailed off, and I could tell that whatever it was that she was feeling, she was reluctant to talk to me about it.“Come on, you know that you can tell me,” I told her.She sighed. “This might sound bad, but I just can’t help feeling like there isn’t a place for me here anymore. I mean, things have changed here since I’ve been gone. That’s for sure. But I can’t help thinking that maybe I’ve changed more than everyone else.” She paused. “God, that makes me sound so full of myself, doesn’t it?”I frowned, thinking about that. “To be honest, I kind of understand that feeling,” I told her. I took a deep breath. I hadn’t really talk
All Grown Up The Night is Young
JesseWe finally paused to grab food, although with the score tied at one game each, we were already promising one another more rounds of play afterward. “God, I forgot to ask if you were still on a dancer’s diet,” I said suddenly as we looked over the pizza menu.“It’s fine,” Audrey said.“No, seriously, I’m sorry,” I said. “I should have thought about that.”“And taken me where?” Audrey asked, raising an eyebrow at me. “I don’t think Aberdeen has any low-fat, no-carb, whatever-whatever places where I could stick to my diet. I knew what I was getting myself into.” She took a deep breath. “I’ve been pretty lax on my diet since I got here. And I mean to be better. I don’t want to give it all up. But at the same time, well…” She trailed off again, looking embarrassed.“Well what?” I asked her.She gave me a tentative smile. “The director gave me a challenge when he was sending me here,” she said. “He told me to treat this like a research project. To find some hobbies and, like, figure o
All Grown Up Letting Him In
AudreyI shouldn’t have been surprised with the way that the evening ended up going. It was classic Jesse, through and through. God, how many nights had we gone out bowling with our friends when we were teenagers, all because Jesse wanted to? Granted, it wasn’t like there was all that much to do around town, but he always seemed to be the one to get us off the couches and out the door.There was something to be said for that.Then the conversation? I supposed it was no surprise that I found myself talking about my feelings, my wants, my dreams, my desires, with him. He always had a way of getting me to open up to him. I felt comfortable around him in a way that I didn’t with anyone else. I felt like I could tell him how out of place I felt here, without him thinking that I was just some stuck-up dancer with her head in the clouds.And for the first time since coming back to Aberdeen, I started to wonder if maybe I had been wrong. Maybe there was someone here in North Carolina who real
All Grown Up Signals Crossed
AudreyI wished for an instant that I could see inside of his head. What was going on in there? Why did he always tangle up my emotions like this? One moment, I would swear that we were on the same page, that we were both looking forward to the same things, that we both needed one another. And in the next moment, we were just friends. Nothing more. And we never would be.Jesse cocked his head to the side, though. “You don’t want me to take you home?” he asked slowly.There was a part of me that was still afraid to admit the truth. But then I thought about the fact that I’d be going back to Paris soon enough. I never had to see him again if I didn’t want to. Might as well put all my cards on the table.“Jesse,” I groaned. “I want you. I wanted you when we were teenagers, and I want you now. So no, I don’t want you to take me home. But if this isn’t—” I didn’t get to finish that thought before Jesse was on me again, lunging across the truck and pressing hard against me, his mouth prac
All Grown Up Still Here
JesseI woke up on Thursday when my alarm went off, and I groped on my bedside table for my phone. I yawned as I shut the thing off and then lay there for another moment, already going through my morning in my mind. First, I’d get up, have a quick shower, throw on some jeans and a T-shirt. Then, a quick breakfast of leftover egg hash that I had made the previous morning. And then into work.I quickly ran through a mental inventory of the orders that we had going out that morning. It should be a relatively easy morning, which was good. I had slept well, but it was one of those mornings where I felt like I could definitely just linger in bed for the whole day and be content.I stretched and rolled over, surprised to encounter a wave of long, blonde hair. Audrey woke up with a yelp and shoved me off of her hair, and between my surprise and the strength of her shove, I tumbled naked over the other side of the bed. I landed hard and grunted out a breath. Then, I peered up at her as she scr
All Grown Up What Now?
JesseI stood there under the spray, leaning heavily against the wall with both palms. Jesus, I had slept with Audrey Buchanan. Fucking finally. But how did I deal with this now? What was she thinking? What the hell was I thinking?I was thinking that it was just fun between friends, I finally reminded myself. She would be headed back to Paris in six months at the latest. Our time was limited. Last night was just fun. Nothing more.I breathed out a sigh of relief, nodding to myself. Just friends. Nothing more. Then, I went about my usual morning routine. Audrey was out of my bed when I went back into the room to grab my clothes. I nodded again and forced myself to focus on what I was doing. Joe wasn’t going to hear about this from me. Not as long as I was on time and didn’t give him any reason to wonder what I’d been up to the night before.When I headed downstairs, though, I stopped in my tracks. Audrey was there in the kitchen, wearing one of my flannel shirts. There was coffee alre
All Grown Up Plans For Paris
AudreyIt was a relief to have the house to myself when I got home on Thursday morning. I knew that my absence couldn’t have gone unnoticed. Annabelle at least would have known that I didn’t come home since she and I shared a room. And Mom knew that I had been out after she went to bed the night before. She would put two and two together as well.I wondered what they would say. Of course, Annabelle wasn’t so young anymore. She had to have had a fling or two in her life. It wasn’t like I was a teenager anymore, either. It wasn’t like Mom could really say anything about it. If I wanted to go home with Jesse, that was my prerogative.But what I was more worried about, I realized, was the fact that either of them might be too vocal in their support of my relationship with Jesse. Not that it was a relationship. We were still just friends. I hadn’t missed that pained look that came across Jesse’s face that morning when I had kissed him goodbye. It had flickered across his face, barely notic
All Grown Up Guilty
AudreyThe director laughed. “I’m glad to hear that,” he said. “And I’m glad to hear that you’re resting a little. We look forward to having you back here soon.”“I look forward to being there,” I said. “But not before I’m ready!” I gave a little laugh that the director echoed.We said our goodbyes and hung up the phone. And I felt better than I had in a while. It really sounded like things were going to come together. Like I was going to be able to head back to Paris without waiting a whole six months to heal up and train more. Hell, maybe I’d be back in time for casting for the fall. I could only hope so.I thought about calling some of my friends as well, but I didn’t want to jinx myself by telling them I was hoping to come back sooner. And anyway, what would I say to them? They would be full of news about the final shows of the season, the latest gallery openings, shopping, and all the wonderful things that they had been up to.My life here in North Carolina couldn’t compare to th
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All Grown Up All Grown Up
AudreyI couldn’t believe that Jesse had gone to all of this work to build the perfect nursery for our baby. From the looks of the crib, it was hand-built, not just one of those flimsy things that you put together from the store. I could tell that there was still some work that he planned on putting into that, and there was a rocking chair only half finished on the floor. But Jesse was building me a nursery for our baby.I could barely believe it.Here I had been so worried that he would want nothing to do with me or the baby, when in fact, exactly the opposite was true. He wanted this enough that he was willing to put his love and dedication into incorporating us into his life and his home. He wanted our baby to grow up here just like he had grown up here.He was so perfect. I didn’t know how to tell him that.Instead, I was given the opportunity to show it to him.I caught his hands in mine and tugged him out of the nursery and back down the hallway to his bedroom. This time, I was
All Grown Up Moving Forward
JesseWhen I heard Audrey’s reasons for why she hadn’t told me about the pregnancy, I felt my heart break a little. Not because her reasons were terrible, but because I’d been so terrible to her this week. If she’d only explained things to me before. I knew that was my fault, though. I hadn’t let her explain. We’d been tired and too full of emotions to really talk last weekend, but I at least should have made time to see her earlier in the week.I didn’t know what I’d been expecting from her, but her actual reasons for not telling me were almost too sweet.“I’m assuming that you want to try to get yourself back into shape and go back to being a ballerina once the baby is born?” I said now, at dinner.To my surprise, Audrey shook her head. “Honestly, I think those days are over.”“I’m sure you can talk to your director and work something out with him,” I said, frowning. “I know there was the injury as well as this, but he seems like a reasonable guy. It’s not like you don’t have the ta
All Grown Up Mending Bridges
AudreyJesse slowly came up to the porch, like he thought I might run in the other direction. “You look really pretty,” he said quietly.“Is that all you came here to say?” I asked tartly.The lips of his mouth twitched with a grin. “Just the start of it,” he promised me. “Have you already eaten? I was hoping that maybe I could take you to dinner and we could talk.”I stared at him for a long moment. So now he wanted to talk? I wanted to hear whatever it was that he wanted to say, though. I wanted him, so badly that I ached. I found myself nodding. “Let’s go,” I said, heading toward his truck.We were both silent on the way to the restaurant that had been our favorite as teens. I should have known that he would take me there. Back to where it all began. There was a part of me that was terrified that I was never going to be able to come back here again after this too-serious conversation that we were about to have.There was another part of me that soared with hope, wondering if this m
All Grown Up Missing Him
AudreyI shook my head. “It’s more complicated than that,” I sighed. “He just got mad because I didn’t tell him that I was pregnant until we were on the way to the hospital. I lied to him about why I was back here, and he can’t trust me anymore.” I bit my lip. “I deserve it, for waiting for the perfect time. I just didn’t think waiting was going to end up making things so terrible.”“Oh, Audrey,” Annabelle sighed, coming over to sit next to me on the bed and giving me a hug. I knew she was probably going to be running late for her shift, but she didn’t seem to care. She just wanted to make sure that I was all right. I nearly cried with how much I appreciated it.She noticed. “Are you crying?”I had to laugh. “Hormones,” I told her. “I’m pregnant, remember? My emotions are all over the place.”She shook her head and went to grab me a tissue from the box on the dresser. “For what it’s worth, I don’t think he’ll be mad at you forever,” she said. “You didn’t see him when you were in Paris
All Grown Up Baby On Board
AudreyI’d had a great day with Mom and Annabelle, cooing over all the adorable little things that we could buy for the baby in the local mall. I knew that they were really excited about the baby, but as much as I tried to match their enthusiasm, I still couldn’t help but feel upset and unsure. It would have been so much easier if I had known that Jesse and I were an item and that he was going to be there for me. For us.I still hadn’t heard from him, though, and now it had been nearly a week since he had found out about the fact that I was pregnant.It had been a long week. Other than that shopping trip, I had barely left the house. What was there to do? Anywhere that I went around town, there was a chance that I might run into Jesse. I didn’t want to admit that I was avoiding him, but the conversation that he and I needed to have wasn’t one that I really wanted to start in public where anyone could witness it.It was a small town. Soon enough, everyone was going to realize that I wa
All Grown Up Audrey
JesseI took a calming breath to steady myself. No. I at least knew Audrey well enough to know that she wouldn’t do something like that without at least telling me that was her plan. Even though I hadn’t reached out to her, she knew where to find me if she really needed to talk about something like that. She knew where I worked, and she knew where I lived.At least, I thought I knew Audrey well enough to trust in that. If not Audrey, though, I had a feeling I would have caught an earful from Annabelle if her sister was even considering that.“You’re sure it’s yours?” Joe asked.“Yeah,” I said. I grimaced. “I actually asked her if it was someone else’s and that was why she hadn’t told me about it. She got pretty upset that I had even dared to think that she might have been with someone else. I believe her.”Joe nodded, and I could tell he was thinking everything over.“Am I right to be angry with her?” I asked, when he didn’t say anything. “I mean, she flat-out lied to me. You were rig
All Grown Up Processing
JesseI knew that I should probably talk to Audrey. Not talking to her was driving me crazy. She had always been one of my best friends, and if there was anyone that I wanted to talk to, it was definitely her. I missed her. I wanted to know how she was handling all of this. I wanted to know what she was thinking.I wanted to make sure that she was following the doctor’s orders to rest and stay off her feet for a little bit, in case it was the stress that had caused that terrible cramping that she’d had the other night. It had been hard for Audrey to stay off her feet before when her ankle was injured, so I could only imagine how she was coping with it now.I hoped for the sake of the baby, our baby, that she was taking the doctor’s words seriously. I had a feeling she would be, though. Somehow, I knew that she was going to make an incredible mother. That little baby was lucky.It was one of the few things that I was sure of.The rest of it was all uncertainties, and that right there w
All Grown Up Stress
Audrey“Eleven weeks,” I said. “Annabelle and I went for the ultrasound on Friday.” I pulled out the picture to show her, and her face lit up.“Look at that little peanut of a thing,” she cooed. “He looks adorable.”“He?” I asked skeptically. “You can’t possibly tell that from the picture.”Mom tutted. “Let me have my dream,” she said. “It would be good to have a little man around the household again. Besides, look at the way he’s positioned. He must be a boy.”I tried not to laugh. “Maybe it’s a boy,” I said, glancing at Annabelle.“Audrey’s hoping it’s a girl so that she can teach her to be a ballerina,” Annabelle said.“The world could use more male ballerinas,” Mom said, winking at me. “I always wished that I would have a boy to balance out you girls.” She sounded wistful, and I suddenly realized that I had never known if two kids were all that she planned to have or if things just hadn’t worked out for more. It suddenly seemed like something that I should know.Mom was wrapped up
All Grown Up Telling Mom
AudreyI had barely left my bedroom for the rest of the weekend after Jesse dropped me off at home. I couldn’t help thinking of the terrible things that he had said to me out in the driveway. I couldn’t help thinking of how much I deserved for him to say those things and more to me.I had fucked up. I knew that now. No, I had known that all along. I knew that I should tell him about the baby. All the reasons not to tell him seemed so stupid now. I couldn’t even think how to apologize to him, in fact, that’s how stupid all the reasons sounded in my head.Not that I was going to get a chance to apologize to him. I had given him his space on Saturday. He wanted time to cool off and process things, and I would give that to him. Sunday, I hadn’t been able to stop myself from texting him, though. I understood if he wasn’t ready to talk yet, but I just wanted to know when he might be ready to talk. The uncertainty was killing me.He hadn’t responded. Suddenly, I felt panic go through me, eve
