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No Fixing It
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2024-10-29 19:42:56Related chapters
All Grown Up The Life He Built
Jesse“That must have been rough,” Audrey said quietly, but where normally, the pity and the sympathy drove me crazy, there was something in the way that Audrey said it that made me feel somehow better. Like a weight had been lifted from my chest.“Me running the hardware store, I don’t even know if that’s something that he would have wanted,” I said. “We hadn’t really ever talked about it. But I just feel like I have to do it now. Like if I don’t, I’m turning my back on him.”Audrey was quiet, and I wondered what she was thinking. Would she try to convince me that there was no reason for me to stay here in Aberdeen, that I was just making excuses for why I couldn’t be with her?Except that, of course, she wouldn’t say anything like that. Just like I couldn’t bring myself to ask her not to go back to Paris, she would never be able to tell me to leave North Carolina and put aside my ghosts.Audrey put her hand over mine. “I’m really sorry you had to go through that,” she said softly. “
All Grown Up Placing Her in Bed
AudreyI tried to figure out the expression in Jesse’s eyes as he sat me down on the bed. There was an unmistakable tenderness there, and a certain level of amazement too. He slowly ran his hands down my sides, the touch gentle and soft. He kissed me as he worked to undress me, baring my breasts and then helping me out of my pants as well. I arched against him, feeling the drag of his soft flannel shirt against my naked skin. I sucked in a breath as he nibbled at my earlobe.He grinned against my skin, his fingers tracing lines of fire along the waistband of my panties. He rocked against me, and I could feel how hard he was already. My fingers fumbled with his belt, pausing as he nibbled at my neck, my train of thought gone out the window.He laughed and pulled back, helping me out as he stripped off his own clothing, letting it fall in a heap on the floor. Then he pulled me close again, pressing his lips insistently to mine, his tongue slipping easily inside my mouth as I moaned, hea
All Grown Up Go-Getter
JesseThe last thing I wanted was to drive Audrey home after we had sex, but I could tell from the look on her face that I had to. I could also tell that she hated it as much as I did. Was she feeling the same way that I was? That we were playing with fire here, that it was going to be too hard to lose her already, without spending the night together, without waking up to miles of warm, soft skin every morning? I wished I could offer her some kind of solution, but I didn’t know what to say.“Your mom would probably worry if I didn’t bring you home, anyway,” I said, giving her the easy way out.Audrey looked at me in surprise for a moment, and I could tell that she was on the brink of telling me that that was the least of her worries at the moment. But then she smiled at me. “Yeah,” she said, sounding relieved that yet again, we were going to bypass that conversation about our relationship, about her return to Paris, and about everything else that was important between the two of us.“
All Grown Up Less Important
Jesse“I guess he could,” I said, feeling even more agitated. I had been so sure that she wouldn’t ask me to give all of this up. Just like I wouldn’t ask her to give up her dancing. Did she think that my work here was somehow less important than hers in Paris?I knew that wasn’t what she was asking, though. She was just trying to come up with some resolution, the same way that I was. We were hurting one another, I knew. There didn’t seem to be a way to stop it, however.I sighed again, even more heavily. “It wouldn’t be a long-term solution,” I explained to her. “Joe could look out for things. But short of turning over the whole business to him, well, it just wouldn’t be fair. Anyway, what the hell would I do with myself in Paris?” I tried to turn it into a joke, but I could barely manage a smile, and Audrey didn’t look like she was laughing either.“I don’t know,” she said, shaking her head. “I guess it’s stupid for me to even ask. I just, I don’t know, I keep thinking about all the
All Grown Up Homesick For Paris
AudreyTwo weeks of minimal time on my feet had my ankle feeling, if not better, then at least as good as it had been when I first rented out the studio in town where I could dance on my own. Maybe it wasn’t totally responsible to go back to dancing so soon. Maybe I was jeopardizing the healing process. I was going stir-crazy without dance, though, and I figured if I took it a little easier, then things would be okay.I wrapped my ankle tightly and went through some basic moves, grinning as I did so. There was barely any pain, and my ankle actually felt stronger than I would have expected it to. Maybe I would be back to Paris sooner than I’d thought. Another month and I could have this whole thing put behind me, I was sure.For a moment, I had to wonder if I wanted to put this whole thing behind me. Not everything about my time here in Aberdeen had been bad. A certain someone popped into my head as I thought about that.I couldn’t stay in North Carolina just for Jesse, though. I had t
All Grown Up Contract
JesseI frowned as I scrounged around on Joe’s desk for something that I could open a box with. Unlike my desk, which was neat and tidy, always organized to perfection, he seemed to keep pretty much everything out where he could see it. He claimed he knew exactly where everything was at any given time. That didn’t help when he was out front with a customer and I was trying to open up the boxes with the new equipment that we’d received that morning.Finally, I gave it up as a lost cause and headed for my own office to grab my box cutter, grumbling under my breath as I went. Should’ve just had the boxes delivered straight to my office, but Joe had been the one in the back at the time that the delivery came in, while I tried to explain more of the opening procedures to Chance before he left for the day, since he was only part-time on Tuesdays.The kid still wasn’t getting the opening procedures, but he had made a little progress in checking out customers, getting more efficient all the t
All Grown Up Pizza and a Movie
AudreyAnnabelle hopped up on one of the seats at the counter of the pizza place, drumming her fingers against the red countertop as we waited for our pizzas to be ready. Dino’s was the same as it had ever been. I was surprised to hear that they still didn’t deliver but only offered take-out pizzas. Same as it had ever been. I shook my head. North Carolina had barely changed since I had left it. Yet again, I felt hopelessly adrift, like I had far outpaced this town and everyone in it.I considered Annabelle for a moment. She seemed happy here. Oh, I knew she had talked about getting out and going somewhere else. She wasn’t planning on staying in Aberdeen forever. It was why she had two jobs and was living at home, after all: so that she could save up the money that she needed to get a fresh start somewhere else. All the same, she didn’t seem like she was unhappy. She somehow managed to make things work, even while she was dreaming of getting away.Could I ever be like that? Settle in
All Grown Up Catching Up with Sis
AudreyI bit my lower lip. “Isn’t it kind of weird to you that Clayton moved in so soon after he met Mom?” I asked, unable to help myself. It wasn’t that I didn’t like Clayton, I was just still trying to figure out how to act around him, and he was pretty much always there. Including at these family nights, which used to just be about the three of us.I guess that was one thing that had changed around here, but it was a change that left me feeling even more uncomfortable and out of place.Annabelle pursed her lips as she considered that. Then she shrugged. “I don’t know,” she said. “Mom really seems head over heels for him. That’s a good thing for her, too. It’s about time she found someone who could keep up with her.” She grinned at me, but then looked considering again. “You haven’t seen her the past few years. It’s been tough.”I frowned. “I’ve seen her,” I said defensively. “She’s come out to Paris a couple of times, and we did that tour of Australia together. Oh, and London. Reme
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All Grown Up All Grown Up
AudreyI couldn’t believe that Jesse had gone to all of this work to build the perfect nursery for our baby. From the looks of the crib, it was hand-built, not just one of those flimsy things that you put together from the store. I could tell that there was still some work that he planned on putting into that, and there was a rocking chair only half finished on the floor. But Jesse was building me a nursery for our baby.I could barely believe it.Here I had been so worried that he would want nothing to do with me or the baby, when in fact, exactly the opposite was true. He wanted this enough that he was willing to put his love and dedication into incorporating us into his life and his home. He wanted our baby to grow up here just like he had grown up here.He was so perfect. I didn’t know how to tell him that.Instead, I was given the opportunity to show it to him.I caught his hands in mine and tugged him out of the nursery and back down the hallway to his bedroom. This time, I was
All Grown Up Moving Forward
JesseWhen I heard Audrey’s reasons for why she hadn’t told me about the pregnancy, I felt my heart break a little. Not because her reasons were terrible, but because I’d been so terrible to her this week. If she’d only explained things to me before. I knew that was my fault, though. I hadn’t let her explain. We’d been tired and too full of emotions to really talk last weekend, but I at least should have made time to see her earlier in the week.I didn’t know what I’d been expecting from her, but her actual reasons for not telling me were almost too sweet.“I’m assuming that you want to try to get yourself back into shape and go back to being a ballerina once the baby is born?” I said now, at dinner.To my surprise, Audrey shook her head. “Honestly, I think those days are over.”“I’m sure you can talk to your director and work something out with him,” I said, frowning. “I know there was the injury as well as this, but he seems like a reasonable guy. It’s not like you don’t have the ta
All Grown Up Mending Bridges
AudreyJesse slowly came up to the porch, like he thought I might run in the other direction. “You look really pretty,” he said quietly.“Is that all you came here to say?” I asked tartly.The lips of his mouth twitched with a grin. “Just the start of it,” he promised me. “Have you already eaten? I was hoping that maybe I could take you to dinner and we could talk.”I stared at him for a long moment. So now he wanted to talk? I wanted to hear whatever it was that he wanted to say, though. I wanted him, so badly that I ached. I found myself nodding. “Let’s go,” I said, heading toward his truck.We were both silent on the way to the restaurant that had been our favorite as teens. I should have known that he would take me there. Back to where it all began. There was a part of me that was terrified that I was never going to be able to come back here again after this too-serious conversation that we were about to have.There was another part of me that soared with hope, wondering if this m
All Grown Up Missing Him
AudreyI shook my head. “It’s more complicated than that,” I sighed. “He just got mad because I didn’t tell him that I was pregnant until we were on the way to the hospital. I lied to him about why I was back here, and he can’t trust me anymore.” I bit my lip. “I deserve it, for waiting for the perfect time. I just didn’t think waiting was going to end up making things so terrible.”“Oh, Audrey,” Annabelle sighed, coming over to sit next to me on the bed and giving me a hug. I knew she was probably going to be running late for her shift, but she didn’t seem to care. She just wanted to make sure that I was all right. I nearly cried with how much I appreciated it.She noticed. “Are you crying?”I had to laugh. “Hormones,” I told her. “I’m pregnant, remember? My emotions are all over the place.”She shook her head and went to grab me a tissue from the box on the dresser. “For what it’s worth, I don’t think he’ll be mad at you forever,” she said. “You didn’t see him when you were in Paris
All Grown Up Baby On Board
AudreyI’d had a great day with Mom and Annabelle, cooing over all the adorable little things that we could buy for the baby in the local mall. I knew that they were really excited about the baby, but as much as I tried to match their enthusiasm, I still couldn’t help but feel upset and unsure. It would have been so much easier if I had known that Jesse and I were an item and that he was going to be there for me. For us.I still hadn’t heard from him, though, and now it had been nearly a week since he had found out about the fact that I was pregnant.It had been a long week. Other than that shopping trip, I had barely left the house. What was there to do? Anywhere that I went around town, there was a chance that I might run into Jesse. I didn’t want to admit that I was avoiding him, but the conversation that he and I needed to have wasn’t one that I really wanted to start in public where anyone could witness it.It was a small town. Soon enough, everyone was going to realize that I wa
All Grown Up Audrey
JesseI took a calming breath to steady myself. No. I at least knew Audrey well enough to know that she wouldn’t do something like that without at least telling me that was her plan. Even though I hadn’t reached out to her, she knew where to find me if she really needed to talk about something like that. She knew where I worked, and she knew where I lived.At least, I thought I knew Audrey well enough to trust in that. If not Audrey, though, I had a feeling I would have caught an earful from Annabelle if her sister was even considering that.“You’re sure it’s yours?” Joe asked.“Yeah,” I said. I grimaced. “I actually asked her if it was someone else’s and that was why she hadn’t told me about it. She got pretty upset that I had even dared to think that she might have been with someone else. I believe her.”Joe nodded, and I could tell he was thinking everything over.“Am I right to be angry with her?” I asked, when he didn’t say anything. “I mean, she flat-out lied to me. You were rig
All Grown Up Processing
JesseI knew that I should probably talk to Audrey. Not talking to her was driving me crazy. She had always been one of my best friends, and if there was anyone that I wanted to talk to, it was definitely her. I missed her. I wanted to know how she was handling all of this. I wanted to know what she was thinking.I wanted to make sure that she was following the doctor’s orders to rest and stay off her feet for a little bit, in case it was the stress that had caused that terrible cramping that she’d had the other night. It had been hard for Audrey to stay off her feet before when her ankle was injured, so I could only imagine how she was coping with it now.I hoped for the sake of the baby, our baby, that she was taking the doctor’s words seriously. I had a feeling she would be, though. Somehow, I knew that she was going to make an incredible mother. That little baby was lucky.It was one of the few things that I was sure of.The rest of it was all uncertainties, and that right there w
All Grown Up Stress
Audrey“Eleven weeks,” I said. “Annabelle and I went for the ultrasound on Friday.” I pulled out the picture to show her, and her face lit up.“Look at that little peanut of a thing,” she cooed. “He looks adorable.”“He?” I asked skeptically. “You can’t possibly tell that from the picture.”Mom tutted. “Let me have my dream,” she said. “It would be good to have a little man around the household again. Besides, look at the way he’s positioned. He must be a boy.”I tried not to laugh. “Maybe it’s a boy,” I said, glancing at Annabelle.“Audrey’s hoping it’s a girl so that she can teach her to be a ballerina,” Annabelle said.“The world could use more male ballerinas,” Mom said, winking at me. “I always wished that I would have a boy to balance out you girls.” She sounded wistful, and I suddenly realized that I had never known if two kids were all that she planned to have or if things just hadn’t worked out for more. It suddenly seemed like something that I should know.Mom was wrapped up
All Grown Up Telling Mom
AudreyI had barely left my bedroom for the rest of the weekend after Jesse dropped me off at home. I couldn’t help thinking of the terrible things that he had said to me out in the driveway. I couldn’t help thinking of how much I deserved for him to say those things and more to me.I had fucked up. I knew that now. No, I had known that all along. I knew that I should tell him about the baby. All the reasons not to tell him seemed so stupid now. I couldn’t even think how to apologize to him, in fact, that’s how stupid all the reasons sounded in my head.Not that I was going to get a chance to apologize to him. I had given him his space on Saturday. He wanted time to cool off and process things, and I would give that to him. Sunday, I hadn’t been able to stop myself from texting him, though. I understood if he wasn’t ready to talk yet, but I just wanted to know when he might be ready to talk. The uncertainty was killing me.He hadn’t responded. Suddenly, I felt panic go through me, eve
