(Thomas)I thrust the car door open, panting, and fell inside. A splitting ache was coming on into my head. It wasn’t just that I felt utterly devastated and madly furious by the way Lydia was dangling Adam in front of me. It was that –Lydia had wept into my arm as we had sat here at the gynecologist’s office. We had lost the baby last night.“We can perform a surgical procedure,” the doctor had told us, “Or you can take analgesic medication and allow the tissues to pass on their own.”“I don’t want a surgery,” Lydia had sniffled.So the doctor had given her a list of pain relief medicines.“I’m sorry,” she had quietly said as Lydia took the piece of paper from her.***I had shuffled down to the gastroenterologist’s office. Lydia had been holding my arm, a concerned look on her beautiful round face. She had driven me here after I had spent the last few hours violently throwing up. When I walked out of the room, she had risen from her seat and gently smiled at me. “Are you okay, love
(Lydia)It was finally Mabel’s last day in the hospital. I gazed at my daughter adoringly, deeply grateful that she looked healthy again. The past four days had been a whirlwind. I had taken a leave from work and stayed by my daughter’s side round-the-clock.Thankfully, I had heard from neither Thomas nor his mother during this time. I felt at peace knowing that drama had subsided but I couldn’t help but deny that I missed Thomas. Even the briefest exposure to his old self had been enough to unravel me. But I shook away these thoughts and feelings.I was throwing my daughter a little party and Ruby had snuck in some streamers, balloons, ribbons, and flowers.While Mabel was out for her final round of tests, Ruby and I cut and curled the ribbons and taped them to the wall. Miles helped us pump the helium balloons. He put his weight down on the pump and laughed with glee as each balloon expanded. Together, we tied the balloons down to a weight and placed the colorful arrangement by the
(Sarah)I still could not wrap my head around what had happened yesterday. Thomas had called and told me that he was coming to see me. I had thought that he was coming back to me! The thought had made me so deliriously happy that I had immediately run off to the spa to get a facial and blow-dry. I had put on my best outfit – a short, pink dress that I knew he liked. Smoothing my dress out in the mirror, I had felt happy with myself. He was seeing me after many days. It was important to remind what he had been missing. And then I had sat down in the lobby waiting for him.He had walked in through the door and barely glanced at me as he sat down. My heart sank and my mouth ran dry.Thomas had sat on the leather sofa opposite me, staring at the floor for a few minutes. I had only echoed his silence, not knowing what to expect. But, even then, a pit had been forming in my stomach. He had a formidable expression on his face.Trying to dissipate the tension in the air, I had asked him if h
(Lydia)Thomas had selected one of our favorite restaurants again. As we pulled up in the parking lot, a smile broke out on my face. I smoothed out my shimmering mauve dress and caught a glimpse of my face in the rearview mirror. I had dressed up especially tonight. I was excited for this dinner.Rossi Ristorante was an Italian place downtown and we had hundreds of fond memories here, including random stop-ins for pizza and bruschetta while we were at university, some of our friends’ birthday parties (with the restaurant’s famous gelato cake), and the weekend after our graduation when we had stopped by here for dinner after spending hours shopping for our wedding.Thomas had always loved their pizzas and crostata. Based on his heritage, I was surprised that he hadn’t selected this very restaurant to propose to me in.So when he ordered me a pistachio gelato that he knew that I had always loved, I wondered if he remembered any of these things. “Do you remember the dinner we had here af
(Lydia)At work, I was on my third cup of coffee the next morning. Both my head as well as my eyes ached. I was only going through the motions of my rehearsal, waiting to get back home and rest. My whole world had suddenly spun out of control. And I hadn’t received so much as a single warning.I had realized that my feelings for Thomas, which I had so carefully folded up and tucked away into the back of my heart, had suddenly and abruptly resurfaced in the wake of his constant attention and care. He had started to win my heart back again.And, just as that had begun to unfold, Sarah had resurfaced with news of a child.The reason this was so pitiful was that … I would never stand in the way of that child’s happiness. I would never want a child to grow up without a father as caring and loving as Thomas.So, I tried to mentally drop the subject and swallow the fact that Thomas and Sarah would end up getting married.I tried to reason with myself: I have had a good life without him, anyw
(Lydia)The next few weeks passed by in a blur – not the swift, quick kind. My life had transformed into a haze in that I could no longer understand what was happening any longer.Thomas had called me several times. I had neither picked up nor declined. And I had not called him back.Truth be told, I had been hoping that he would show up again in person. My heart had been aching at the thought that he could consider getting back together with Sarah. After all those tall claims he had made, too – after chasing after me and waiting on me hand and foot.But there was a silver lining in all this: I had come to learn of my own strength. I had thought that if I lost Thomas a second time, I would be as devastated as the first time around – perhaps, even more so.But things did not pan out that way. I was disappointed and, without a doubt, in pain but I did not crumble this time around.I was glad; I would never want to be the way my mother was to me to my children. I was thinking of her afte
(Lydia)A cascade of emotions flooded through me: I was shocked, sad, nostalgic, happy to see my mother again, struggling with the memories of the past – of me defending her and of her ignoring me, and so much more. With this much going on within me, I was rooted to the spot.“My child…” my mother said through trembling lips and a broken voice.“Mama…” I finally said and exhaled. I had had no idea that I had been holding my breath for so long. I flung my arms around her.She stiffened when I did so. My heart lurched. How could she come here after so many years and then reject my attempt to hold her again?She was shivering.I held her by the forearms and looked at her in the eyes. “Are you okay, mama?” I asked, my voice more concerned for her than she had ever been for me.It hurt but that didn’t mean that I still didn’t care for her.My mother shook her head and dropped it. Her shoulders began to shake. She was crying.“What’s wrong, mama?” I asked her, alarmed.My mother looked up
(Lydia)I could not help the icy look in my eyes. After all those years upon years of neglect, she had come to see me in the hospital. And she had not even bothered to ask after me later. A part of me could not even believe that she was truthful. “Why?” I asked quietly.My mother’s eyes widened, as though she were appalled at my question. “You’re my daughter, Lydia!” she said.I shook my head. I had not been her daughter when my father had punched me in the face. She had not come to see me becoming a bride. And she had never asked after me for all these years since after the accident. What has changed now?Eyes teary, I looked at her. But before I could gather the strength to say even a single one of these things, she fished out a piece of paper from her creased old purse and handed it to me.Then, she turned around and left.On the paper was the address of a hotel that she was staying at. I considered running after her but my head was spinning from all of these sudden events and rev