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thirty minutes and two encores

Author: Gentle J
last update Last Updated: 2023-06-19 19:47:20

Thirty minutes and two encores later, Derek concluded the show with, “Good night, Los Angeles! Now grab somebody next to you and go get laid!” before he walked offstage to rapturous female screaming.

I guess that’s another reason guys liked Bigger concerts: they had a better chance of scoring afterwards.

As the band walked offstage, they were dripping with sweat. Derek and Riley in particular looked like they’d been dunked in a swimming pool.

On most people it would have looked gross. It certainly did on Riley.

On Derek Kane, it looked like a personal invitation to have your brains fucked out.

And the smell of him – not just the musk of his deodorant, but the testosterone or pheromones he exuded – it was enough to drive me wild. I’d heard about some woman who started a speed dating thing were you had to sleep in a t-shirt for three days, then bring it to the meet-up. The idea was that attraction really is chemical, and you’ll know someone you’re attracted to by the scent they give off
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  • Affair with the Rockstar    i stood on the

    I stood on the outside of the tile shower room and listened as the hiss of water filled the air. Steam started to drift out.“So, I wanted to ask you about the album cover for Bigger Than – ”“What?” Derek yelled, his voice sounding hollow from bouncing on the tile.“I said, I wanted to ask you about – ”“I can’t hear you over the water – you’re going to have to come in here.”Asshole.I was pretty damn sure he could hear me just fine.But I steeled myself and walked around the corner into the shower room, my heels clicking on the tile.I almost choked.He was standing there, outlined against the white tiled wall, soap suds sliding down his body, his hair wet and slick, his skin luscious and shiny under the jet of water.I recalled a story about some movie studio mogul who wanted to cast an Olympic female swimmer in a movie. In everyday life, she was kind of plain, but put her in a bathing suit and a pool, and she looked amazing. The studio mogul’s comment was, “Dry she ain’t much – b

    Last Updated : 2023-06-19
  • Affair with the Rockstar    i composed myself

    I composed myself – no mean feat, I can assure you – as I listened to the water turn off. Derek came back into the room with one towel wrapped around his waist, and drying his hair with a second.As soon as he saw me, he gave me a rueful grin and shook his head. “You are the toughest nut to crack ever, did you know that?”“I’m just being professional,” I said, my voice shaky.“Right. We both know you want to, so why don’t you quit using that ‘professionalism’ crap as an excuse?”“Maybe you shouldn’t tell me stories about how you revenge-fucked some music critic’s girlfriend right before you try to seduce me.”He squinted at me. “That really bothers you, doesn’t it?”“What, you using women for your petty little schemes? Yeah.”“She didn’t have any complaints.”“How do you know? You probably never saw her again.”“Sure I did. Two or three more times, as a matter of fact.”Jealousy bit harder.“And it was her pursuing me, not the other way around. That’s how I know she didn’t have any co

    Last Updated : 2023-06-19
  • Affair with the Rockstar    the backstage party

    The backstage party was crazy.I basically kept to the fringes, continuing my anthropological mindset and watching everything with a dispassionate eye.It’s not that I don’t like to have fun. I do. But I was working, for one thing. At least, that’s what I told myself. Plus, nobody was interested in me. I wasn’t famous, and amongst the women gathered here, I was downright average. The few guys who tried to hit on me, I shot down immediately. They didn’t care; they turned ten inches to the left and immediately started hitting on a much more receptive target.At some point – after Riley had manhandled the asses of basically every woman in the room and gotten slapped by half of them; after enough women had thrown themselves all over Derek, and he’d signed at least another two dozen sets of boobs; after Killian and Mike had jammed on acoustic with the opening band; after Ryan had talked to virtually every music producer and big-name musical act in the room; after Derek and Riley got into a

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  • Affair with the Rockstar    the backstage party had been crazy

    The backstage party had been crazy.The after-party at the Dubai was crazier.For one, there were more people. In fact, there was already a crowd in the bar by the time we arrived.Two, backstage security at the Staples Center had more or less admitted people (and by that, I mean women) in an orderly manner. Some would come out, more would go in.Here, anybody who wanted to walk in off the street could.And had.In fact, I think every groupie at the concert had tweeted or Facebooked ‘Derek Kane afterparty at the Dubai!’ because it seemed like half the female population of LA – or half the model-actress-wannabe population of LA, anyway – had shown up.And three, there was a lot more booze available at the Dubai’s bar.When we first got there, there had to have been 500 people inside. It was basically standing room only. The hotel staff quickly realized they had a problem and installed a velvet rope outside, but that only slowed the numbers going in. It did nothing about the people alre

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  • Affair with the Rockstar    ten hours after I'd

    Ten hours after I’d arrived at the Dubai, I finally made my way up to my room. It was small but lovely – beautifully decorated, with a luxurious king-size bed. There was a large glass window that looked six stories out over the Sunset Strip, with all its lights and cars and revelers on the sidewalks, even at 1AM. The glass was double-paned, though, so the room was quiet as could be, with no more than a whisper from the air conditioning vent.There was my bag, waiting for me in the middle of the room. I put it on a nearby chair, opened it up, and dug out my super extra-large t-shirt that I slept in. I stripped off my clothes and smelled them. Ugh – stale pot smoke. Same with my hair. Blech. I desperately wanted to slip into bed and just forget the entire last three hours had ever happened, but I couldn’t bear the thought of smelling like this, not one second more. I slipped into the bathroom and took a short, hot shower. The hotel’s exotic soaps and shampoos washed away my makeup and t

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  • Affair with the Rockstar    it was a long ass

    It was a long-ass night.A long-ass, frustrating night.I laid awake, fitfully turning in bed for over an hour, replaying the scene over and over in my head.Fuck this.Him slamming me against the wall, kissing me, stroking me, tantalizing me – The stench of a dozen other women’s perfume – I’ve always wanted YOU, Kaitlyn. Just you.My final refusal – You want me? I’m yours. But YOU let me know.It all seemed like a dream.An incredibly hot, but incredibly disturbing dream.Why did I have to say ‘no’? Wasn’t that exactly the thing I’d fantasized about for years – him forcefully pinning me against the wall, taking me, ravishing me?I knew why I’d said ‘no,’ of course. The smell. The perfume. I couldn’t get past it.Why did he have to dance with those women? Why?Why did he have to flaunt it in my face?Why couldn’t we have just left immediately after the concert and come here?He could have been in my arms right now.He could have been inside me RIGHT NOW.I was so hot and bothered I

    Last Updated : 2023-06-19
  • Affair with the Rockstar    he was dressed in jeans

    He was dressed in jeans, boots, a black t-shirt that hugged his chest, and his customary sunglasses.My heart leapt. I was so happy to see him that my whole body buzzed with anticipation – But a second after my heart jumped in my chest, it seized with fear.Our previous encounter last night in my room – temporarily forgotten because of Riley’s antics – reared up in my memory like some monstrous shadow.Derek seemed to have no such qualms, though. He just ambled over to the table, sat down between Riley and Ryan, and reached for a plate.He didn’t even look at me.It was like a punch to the gut.“I’m assuming that chick out in the hallway was yours, Riley,” he said as he piled on eggs and bacon.“Whose else would it be?” she snorted. “Nobody else in here gets any pussy.”“Jesus, Riley,” Ryan groaned, “I’m eating.”“See? He’s too much of a pussy to even talk about pussy. And don’t even get me started on Mary Jane over there.”She was obviously referring to Killian. He ignored her and k

    Last Updated : 2023-06-19
  • Affair with the Rockstar    despite my wounded

    Despite my wounded pride at being told to butt out, I was soon captivated by the jam session. In total, they worked on three songs I’d never heard before. Each one was better than the last; the final one could have been good enough to be a single on the radio, even in its rough state.I kept that opinion to myself, though.Two hours passed, and suddenly Miles walked in. “Twenty minutes. In twenty minutes, you’re on the bus or my foot is up your arse.”The band members put up their stuff and retreated to their separate rooms. Derek slipped out before I could say anything to him.“He just hates criticism in any way, shape, or form,” a voice said behind me. “Can’t stand it.”I looked back. Ryan was standing in the doorway of one of the bedrooms.“It was actually pretty good, though,” I protested.“Yeah, well, for Derek, telling him he’s ‘pretty good’ is a half step above saying he’s awful. It’s amazing – the guy can handle all sorts of stuff getting thrown at him, but he gets bent out of

    Last Updated : 2023-06-19

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  • Affair with the Rockstar    we took little breaks

    We took little breaks, drank water and wine, talked and whispered, touched and caressed… but we most definitely did it again.Three more times, by my count.It was after four AM when we finally dropped off into a deep slumber, our bodies intertwined.I woke up sometime after ten AM. I looked around me in wonder, hardly believing what had happened – or how lucky I was. Two gorgeous men on either side of me, the golden sunlight kissing their naked bodies, their cocks looking delectable as they slumbered.Neither of the boys was awake yet, so I carefully extracted myself, went into the bathroom and freshened up. Then I came back and reinserted myself back into the mix.Both guys opened their eyes sleepily as I slid between them.“Holy shit… did we do what I think we did?” Derek murmured.“Several times,” I giggled.“Wow,” Ryan muttered. Then he looked at me. “Did you… was it everything you hoped it would be?”I kissed him. “Without a doubt, last night was the best night of my entire life

  • Affair with the Rockstar    Derek kissed me

    Derek kissed me, his cock pressed hard against my belly – and then he pushed me back onto the bed. He stood above me, his erection jutting hard and stiff into the air, as he placed the condom on the head of his cock and slowly rolled it downwards.Ryan was looking left out and forlorn, so I gestured to him. He sank down on the bed and began to kiss me, his left hand playing with my breast.“Um…” Derek said.“I want to be able to kiss and touch both of you,” I said. “Not just one at a time.”Derek sighed. “Alright, fine. Just remember the rules, dude.”“Don’t worry about me,” Ryan said darkly.Derek lowered himself between my legs and began to lick his way up the inside of my thighs. I sighed and moaned as Ryan kissed me – and then he pulled away and stared into my eyes.At just that moment, Derek reached my pussy and slowly began to lick up my lips to my clit.One man going down on me, another staring into my eyes and caressing my face – it was one of the most erotic things I’d ever e

  • Affair with the Rockstar    Ryan was the first to move

    Ryan was the first to move. He cupped my face in his hands and leaned over and kissed me, slowly… sensually.As I closed my eyes and gave myself over to the kiss, another pair of hands slowly touched my waist. Derek.He brushed aside my hair, and I felt his warm lips on the back of my neck.I shivered, and a jumble of emotions surged through me all at once: fear. Excitement. Desire. Shame. Love. Longing. Uncertainty.Were we really going to do this?Was this really going to happen?As Ryan continued to kiss me, one of Derek’s hands tugged at my blouse, pulled it up out of my skirt, and brushed across my bare skin.Holy SHIT, this really WAS going to happen.I parted lips with Ryan, then felt a gentle tug at my hair. I turned my head slowly, as though in a trance – and Derek’s lips were there to meet mine.With Ryan’s taste still in my mouth, now I had Derek’s, as well – the slightly darker, smokier taste of his lips, his tongue.It felt wrong.But it was sooooo hot.Ryan began to nuz

  • Affair with the Rockstar    A couple of times

    A couple of times there was some angry shouting from the bedroom, but most of the talk was in hushed whispers. Under ordinary circumstances I might have been interested in eavesdropping, but I was so drained, I really couldn’t work up the enthusiasm. Besides, I knew what they were talking about: me.And they talked for a looooong time.After about ten minutes, I gave in and opened the wine. Like the classy lady I am, I swigged it right out of the bottle.Twenty minutes later I was finished with the wine and had a nice buzz going – probably due to my exhaustion as much as the alcohol – when they finally walked out.The stood in front of me, and this time it was me who waited anxiously.“Well?” I finally asked.“…okay,” Derek said.My eyes almost bugged out of my head.“What?!”“I said okay.”“I know what you said, but – ” I turned to Ryan. “You’re okay with this?”He looked unhappy. “I wouldn’t call it ‘okay,’ but… I can’t lose you. I won’t lose you.”“Same goes for me,” Derek agreed.

  • Affair with the Rockstar    They stood there

    They stood there staring at me mutely for what seemed like ages.Derek spoke first.“…what?”“I want both of you. I need both of you in my life.”“We’ve both been in your life the last few weeks, and I think we’ve seen how that worked out,” Ryan said darkly.“Which means you two are going to have to work it out and learn to live with each other – if you want to stay with me.” I turned to Derek. “I know you can’t be faithful. Not forever, anyway – ”“I can and I will,” he protested. “You just have to give me a chance.”“I already gave you a chance,” I said. “You even said back in Vegas that you would have cheated no matter what.”“That was the old me!”I shook my head. “I can’t – I won’t – be with somebody who would lie to me, who would rip away everything we built together like that,” I said, snapping my fingers.“I wouldn’t do that,” Derek protested.I just looked at him for a moment like, Really? REALLY. He sighed in pain. “You won’t ever trust me again, will you?”I hesitated for

  • Affair with the Rockstar    Jessie's girl finally ended

    “Jessie’s Girl” finally ended and they launched into one of the new songs, “Gold And Diamonds.” Derek didn’t alter anything in that one, but the shenanigans weren’t over yet. Not by a long shot.As soon as it was over, he announced to the crowd, “I’m thinkin’ another cover… what about ‘My Best Friend’s Girl’?”The Cars’ 1978 hit.He was sticking to a theme.Again, Killian looked panicked.Again, Ryan nodded his consent… but he looked like he might pop out a switchblade or a Saturday Night Special any second.Derek sang the song.I felt sick.Derek was trying to tear Ryan apart, all on account of me. Just because he was doing it by fucking with his head didn’t make it any less painful or brutal.Next up was a Bigger song – “Girl, Please Stay.” Which kind of stuck to the theme.The crowd sang along.Another spontaneous cover followed: Blink 182’s “Dammit.”Ryan agreed again when Killian looked at him, even though it was evident what Derek was doing. It was hard to miss when he changed t

  • Affair with the Rockstar    After the interaction

    After the interaction with Miles – one more strand of loss in my personal Gordian Knot – I lost my taste for any further drinking and went back upstairs.Ryan was already in bed. As soon as I came in, he rolled over. “Hey.”“Hey,” I said as I sat down on the edge.We stayed in uncomfortable silence for awhile.“I still want to be with you,” I said quietly.A long pause.“…but…” he said, waiting for the other shoe to drop.“I don’t know. I’m… I’m…”I started to cry. Not out of any attempt to get out of the discussion, but because I was so tired. And so worn down. And so unhappy about hurting so many people – including myself.Ryan is nothing if not a softie. He lay there for a few seconds listening to me, then stretched out his hand. “Come here.”I sniffled and crawled across the covers until I was nestled against his bare chest.“I want to be with you,” I whispered.“Are you absolutely sure that’s what you want?”I nodded ‘yes,’ because I wasn’t entirely sure I could convince him with

  • Affair with the Rockstar    i hastily wiped

    I hastily wiped my tears off my cheek, then the taste of Derek off my lips.“Just a minute – ”There was the sound of a beep, and the click of the lock.The door opened before I could get it, and there stood Ryan.He looked furious.I cringed, imagining him about to say all the horrible things about myself I knew I deserved to hear – “Did he hurt you?” he asked, striding into the room and enveloping me in his arms.Oh my God…I was feeling so guilty about my desires, and all he could think of was if I was alright.“No,” I sobbed.“Tell me the truth – did he hurt you?” He held me out at arm’s length, his face a mask of fury. “I’ll kill him – so help me God, I’ll fucking – ”Our eyes met, and suddenly he knew.All the anger drained away and was replaced by hurt. But when he spoke, his voice was dead. “…you kissed him.”I exhaled shakily. “He kissed me.”His arms went slack and he let go of me. Just stood there, looking at me. Then he walked past me like he was in a trance, sat on the e

  • Affair with the Rockstar    Austin City limited

    Austin City Limits was only a week away.Bigger almost didn’t go. In fact, they wouldn’t have gone except for Riley.“You fuckin’ pussies can bail, but I’m not, and fuck ALL y’all if you try to say it’s cuz of me,” she said angrily as she sat up in her hospital bed.It was a band meeting with Derek, Killian, and Ryan in her hospital room on Sunday night. Miles was there, too, as was I. Megan had wanted to stay, but Riley forced her to catch a redeye back to New York so she could return to her med school classes Monday morning.“Riley, your health is the most important thing here,” Ryan said.“I’m fine.”“You’re not fine. You almost died.”“Well I’m not dead NOW, am I? So we’re playin’ the fuckin’ concert!”“Riley, you’re in no condition to play,” Derek said.“Fuck you – I’ve done gigs where I was beat up, bleeding, almost dead and I still played.”“Not with Bigger, you didn’t,” Miles growled.“No, not with fuckin’ Bigger, cause you’re all a bunch of pussies!”“As manager – ”“As manag

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