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the drive to the jail
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2023-07-27 02:37:54Related chapters
Affair with the Rockstar I cried halfway back to the ranch
I cried halfway back to the ranch. Over the horizon, the sun was coming up… but I felt like everything was darker and more depressing than when we first drove to the jail. In fact, it was the worst I’d felt since those first few days after Vegas.As he drove, Ryan opened up the center console between our seats and fished out a small package of tissues. I took them gratefully.“Thank you.”Ryan grimaced. “I’m sorry about back there. If I’d known that would happen, I would never have taken you.”I wondered: if I’d known Derek would act like that and say those things, would I have still gone?It was like an electric jolt when the answer hit me:No. I’m through with him being a dick to me.With that, I finally got a hold of myself. Derek had proven himself to be an absolute asshole; he didn’t deserve a single one of my tears.“Why is he like that?!” I wondered aloud, my nose stuffy, my voice thick from crying.Ryan thought about it for a second, then said, “I think he basically sees it a
Last Updated : 2023-07-27Affair with the Rockstar If Derek had wanted to
If Derek had wanted to sabotage any chance of a romance with Ryan, he’d done a masterful job at it. I became obsessed with reading about him. Like a seven-year-old probing a sore tooth about to fall out, or a scabbed-over mosquito bite you just have to keep itching, I couldn’t stop myself. Every morning I got up and checked the website for whatever sleazy exploits he’d done the night before.I hated him for what he was doing. More than that, I hated myself for giving in and reading about it. I saw how pathetic and weak I was being, but I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t stop reading about it, couldn’t stop the anger, couldn’t stop the jealousy, couldn’t stop the anxiety and depression and self-loathing.Why couldn’t I get over him?It was like being addicted to some horrific drug, but one that doesn’t bring any pleasure, only pain. I guess I needed a hit to keep me connected to whatever emotions and experiences I’d had weeks ago when times were good. Except now it was just torture.Worst of
Last Updated : 2023-07-27Affair with the Rockstar Ryan speech over
Ryan’s speech over the phone blew me away. The way he fought for me – the way he chewed Derek out – I have to admit, it stirred something inside me.And his actions afterward – walking away from me rather than giving in and being all aw, shucks – caused me to stand up and take notice, too.Of course, all this was kind of percolating in the background. I wouldn’t actually recognize it for what it was until several days later – partly because there was more drama in Derekland.On Monday morning, TMZ reported the words that should have filled me with gladness. Instead it just made me sad that it had taken almost losing his life before he stopped his destructive downward spiral:DEREK KANE ENTERS REHABDerek Kane, lead singer of Bigger, is reported to be entering rehab at the insistence of his band’s manager. After an epic two weeks of partying, Kane was in a car wreck last Saturday morning. He walked away from it without a scratch, but was charged with DUI. He reportedly had a blood al
Last Updated : 2023-07-27Affair with the Rockstar It took us nearly
It took us nearly 30 minutes to get down to flat land again. He carried me the entire way, never complaining, never faltering. Over and over I tried to get him to let me walk, but he wouldn’t hear of it.“I hear cougars know when their prey is wounded,” he whispered to me. “They can tell if it’s hopping that it’s easy pickings.”I stared at him in fear. “Really?”“Yeah. Things that hop in the wild? They go after those first. Wounded deer… rabbits… frogs…”I watched him, fear and adrenalin coursing through my body… until I saw the corner of his mouth turn up the slightest.“You’re just saying that!” I hissed, and slapped his shoulder again.He burst out into a grin. “Regardless, I think I should carry you.”“Why?!”“Because I’m enjoying it.”…oh.After that, I didn’t complain any more.I began to relax once we’d made it to level ground, and the probability of ‘death by giant cat’ began to diminish.“We’re probably safe now,” I said. “You can put me down.”“We’ll go a lot faster if you
Last Updated : 2023-07-27Affair with the Rockstar After he got rid of the
After he got rid of the condom, we lay next to each other for the longest time, talking and softly touching each other’s bodies. His fingers trailed down my arm, always returning to my breasts, softly brushing my nipples with the tips of his fingers. I was fascinated with the pronounced edges of his lower abs. I kept tracing up them to his lean stomach, then back down, detouring to stroke the damp thatch of curls at the base of his cock.“Are you okay?” he asked.I knew what he was asking.He was asking about me and Derek.“Yeah… I am,” I said, and it was true. I felt no remorse, no guilt, no shame… just a calm peacefulness.“I’ve been wanting to do that for four years,” he said.I smiled at him. “I’m glad we finally got to.”“Me, too.” He kissed me softly.When he pulled away, I looked at him. “It’s been a long time for you, hasn’t it?”“Four years is pretty long, yeah.”“No, I meant… the last person you were with was your ex… and then you broke up a month before I showed up… and th
Last Updated : 2023-07-27Affair with the Rockstar He began to stroke my clit
He began to stroke my clit – just little up-down movements, probably no more than a centimeter in length, and no firmer than if you were softly caressing your eyelid.But Jesus it felt good.He stayed right on one spot. Not all over my clit, like I was used to with guys – if they could even find it at all. But one teeny, tiny spot on the upper left.His touch was electric. Literally, that’s what it felt like: an electric current running from the tip of his finger to that tiny spot on my clit – but an electric current made of sugar and honey and sex.A quiet moan escaped my lips.Soft, rolling, sweet contractions began in my pussy. Little flutters at first… not a hard, intense orgasm, just gentle pulses. They started in waves… intensifying the slightest bit, then easing off… the pleasure getting higher… and the contractions starting all over again, just a little more intense. Another 30 seconds of that, then receding… then starting all over again, but higher, more pleasurable, sweeter…
Last Updated : 2023-07-27Affair with the Rockstar he put his finger
He put his finger back on the spot, and I felt the ahhhhh of that instantaneous electrical sweetness. Then he began to stroke, which sent me off into another whirlwind of ecstasy.But this time, instead of using the tip of his thumb, he slid all of it inside me. Not only was I getting more sensation, and the feeling of being slightly more filled up – but he began putting pressure against my inside wall, gently massaging towards the left.Sweet baby Jeebus.That pressure, against that place inside me, wasn’t something I normally felt. The novelty and pleasure of it – combined with being on the orgasm rollercoaster again – made me let out a strangled moan.Then he began moving his thumb, putting more pressure in other places… like down, towards my ass, softly stroking me inside.I could feel my pussy grasping him tighter, and I wished I was feeling his gorgeous, thick cock completely filling me up. That thought sent me into another series of crazy contractions.Suddenly, the pressure sl
Last Updated : 2023-07-27Affair with the Rockstar So began a period
So began a period of utter happiness and domestic bliss.Our mornings were leisurely and spent doing naughty things between the sheets. Breakfast in bed or naked in the kitchen, it didn’t matter – there was a fair amount of both. We took horseback rides in the afternoons. I refused to go back into the hills for several days after the cougar, but Ryan offered to take along a rifle. After making him prove his marksmanship against a dozen tin cans lined up on a pine fence, I finally consented… and we never saw hide nor hair of the mountain lion again. Ryan joked that it was a variation on the ‘if you have an umbrella with you, it never rains’ law. So I made sure we never left home without an ‘umbrella.’There were also occasional trips into town, but the rest of the time I spent working my way through the library of paperbacks while Ryan did his thing in the studio. I would occasionally surprise him by walking in completely naked. He didn’t get much work done on those afternoons.Evenin
Last Updated : 2023-07-27
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Affair with the Rockstar we took little breaks
We took little breaks, drank water and wine, talked and whispered, touched and caressed… but we most definitely did it again.Three more times, by my count.It was after four AM when we finally dropped off into a deep slumber, our bodies intertwined.I woke up sometime after ten AM. I looked around me in wonder, hardly believing what had happened – or how lucky I was. Two gorgeous men on either side of me, the golden sunlight kissing their naked bodies, their cocks looking delectable as they slumbered.Neither of the boys was awake yet, so I carefully extracted myself, went into the bathroom and freshened up. Then I came back and reinserted myself back into the mix.Both guys opened their eyes sleepily as I slid between them.“Holy shit… did we do what I think we did?” Derek murmured.“Several times,” I giggled.“Wow,” Ryan muttered. Then he looked at me. “Did you… was it everything you hoped it would be?”I kissed him. “Without a doubt, last night was the best night of my entire life
Affair with the Rockstar Derek kissed me
Derek kissed me, his cock pressed hard against my belly – and then he pushed me back onto the bed. He stood above me, his erection jutting hard and stiff into the air, as he placed the condom on the head of his cock and slowly rolled it downwards.Ryan was looking left out and forlorn, so I gestured to him. He sank down on the bed and began to kiss me, his left hand playing with my breast.“Um…” Derek said.“I want to be able to kiss and touch both of you,” I said. “Not just one at a time.”Derek sighed. “Alright, fine. Just remember the rules, dude.”“Don’t worry about me,” Ryan said darkly.Derek lowered himself between my legs and began to lick his way up the inside of my thighs. I sighed and moaned as Ryan kissed me – and then he pulled away and stared into my eyes.At just that moment, Derek reached my pussy and slowly began to lick up my lips to my clit.One man going down on me, another staring into my eyes and caressing my face – it was one of the most erotic things I’d ever e
Affair with the Rockstar Ryan was the first to move
Ryan was the first to move. He cupped my face in his hands and leaned over and kissed me, slowly… sensually.As I closed my eyes and gave myself over to the kiss, another pair of hands slowly touched my waist. Derek.He brushed aside my hair, and I felt his warm lips on the back of my neck.I shivered, and a jumble of emotions surged through me all at once: fear. Excitement. Desire. Shame. Love. Longing. Uncertainty.Were we really going to do this?Was this really going to happen?As Ryan continued to kiss me, one of Derek’s hands tugged at my blouse, pulled it up out of my skirt, and brushed across my bare skin.Holy SHIT, this really WAS going to happen.I parted lips with Ryan, then felt a gentle tug at my hair. I turned my head slowly, as though in a trance – and Derek’s lips were there to meet mine.With Ryan’s taste still in my mouth, now I had Derek’s, as well – the slightly darker, smokier taste of his lips, his tongue.It felt wrong.But it was sooooo hot.Ryan began to nuz
Affair with the Rockstar A couple of times
A couple of times there was some angry shouting from the bedroom, but most of the talk was in hushed whispers. Under ordinary circumstances I might have been interested in eavesdropping, but I was so drained, I really couldn’t work up the enthusiasm. Besides, I knew what they were talking about: me.And they talked for a looooong time.After about ten minutes, I gave in and opened the wine. Like the classy lady I am, I swigged it right out of the bottle.Twenty minutes later I was finished with the wine and had a nice buzz going – probably due to my exhaustion as much as the alcohol – when they finally walked out.The stood in front of me, and this time it was me who waited anxiously.“Well?” I finally asked.“…okay,” Derek said.My eyes almost bugged out of my head.“What?!”“I said okay.”“I know what you said, but – ” I turned to Ryan. “You’re okay with this?”He looked unhappy. “I wouldn’t call it ‘okay,’ but… I can’t lose you. I won’t lose you.”“Same goes for me,” Derek agreed.
Affair with the Rockstar They stood there
They stood there staring at me mutely for what seemed like ages.Derek spoke first.“…what?”“I want both of you. I need both of you in my life.”“We’ve both been in your life the last few weeks, and I think we’ve seen how that worked out,” Ryan said darkly.“Which means you two are going to have to work it out and learn to live with each other – if you want to stay with me.” I turned to Derek. “I know you can’t be faithful. Not forever, anyway – ”“I can and I will,” he protested. “You just have to give me a chance.”“I already gave you a chance,” I said. “You even said back in Vegas that you would have cheated no matter what.”“That was the old me!”I shook my head. “I can’t – I won’t – be with somebody who would lie to me, who would rip away everything we built together like that,” I said, snapping my fingers.“I wouldn’t do that,” Derek protested.I just looked at him for a moment like, Really? REALLY. He sighed in pain. “You won’t ever trust me again, will you?”I hesitated for
Affair with the Rockstar Jessie's girl finally ended
“Jessie’s Girl” finally ended and they launched into one of the new songs, “Gold And Diamonds.” Derek didn’t alter anything in that one, but the shenanigans weren’t over yet. Not by a long shot.As soon as it was over, he announced to the crowd, “I’m thinkin’ another cover… what about ‘My Best Friend’s Girl’?”The Cars’ 1978 hit.He was sticking to a theme.Again, Killian looked panicked.Again, Ryan nodded his consent… but he looked like he might pop out a switchblade or a Saturday Night Special any second.Derek sang the song.I felt sick.Derek was trying to tear Ryan apart, all on account of me. Just because he was doing it by fucking with his head didn’t make it any less painful or brutal.Next up was a Bigger song – “Girl, Please Stay.” Which kind of stuck to the theme.The crowd sang along.Another spontaneous cover followed: Blink 182’s “Dammit.”Ryan agreed again when Killian looked at him, even though it was evident what Derek was doing. It was hard to miss when he changed t
Affair with the Rockstar After the interaction
After the interaction with Miles – one more strand of loss in my personal Gordian Knot – I lost my taste for any further drinking and went back upstairs.Ryan was already in bed. As soon as I came in, he rolled over. “Hey.”“Hey,” I said as I sat down on the edge.We stayed in uncomfortable silence for awhile.“I still want to be with you,” I said quietly.A long pause.“…but…” he said, waiting for the other shoe to drop.“I don’t know. I’m… I’m…”I started to cry. Not out of any attempt to get out of the discussion, but because I was so tired. And so worn down. And so unhappy about hurting so many people – including myself.Ryan is nothing if not a softie. He lay there for a few seconds listening to me, then stretched out his hand. “Come here.”I sniffled and crawled across the covers until I was nestled against his bare chest.“I want to be with you,” I whispered.“Are you absolutely sure that’s what you want?”I nodded ‘yes,’ because I wasn’t entirely sure I could convince him with
Affair with the Rockstar i hastily wiped
I hastily wiped my tears off my cheek, then the taste of Derek off my lips.“Just a minute – ”There was the sound of a beep, and the click of the lock.The door opened before I could get it, and there stood Ryan.He looked furious.I cringed, imagining him about to say all the horrible things about myself I knew I deserved to hear – “Did he hurt you?” he asked, striding into the room and enveloping me in his arms.Oh my God…I was feeling so guilty about my desires, and all he could think of was if I was alright.“No,” I sobbed.“Tell me the truth – did he hurt you?” He held me out at arm’s length, his face a mask of fury. “I’ll kill him – so help me God, I’ll fucking – ”Our eyes met, and suddenly he knew.All the anger drained away and was replaced by hurt. But when he spoke, his voice was dead. “…you kissed him.”I exhaled shakily. “He kissed me.”His arms went slack and he let go of me. Just stood there, looking at me. Then he walked past me like he was in a trance, sat on the e
Affair with the Rockstar Austin City limited
Austin City Limits was only a week away.Bigger almost didn’t go. In fact, they wouldn’t have gone except for Riley.“You fuckin’ pussies can bail, but I’m not, and fuck ALL y’all if you try to say it’s cuz of me,” she said angrily as she sat up in her hospital bed.It was a band meeting with Derek, Killian, and Ryan in her hospital room on Sunday night. Miles was there, too, as was I. Megan had wanted to stay, but Riley forced her to catch a redeye back to New York so she could return to her med school classes Monday morning.“Riley, your health is the most important thing here,” Ryan said.“I’m fine.”“You’re not fine. You almost died.”“Well I’m not dead NOW, am I? So we’re playin’ the fuckin’ concert!”“Riley, you’re in no condition to play,” Derek said.“Fuck you – I’ve done gigs where I was beat up, bleeding, almost dead and I still played.”“Not with Bigger, you didn’t,” Miles growled.“No, not with fuckin’ Bigger, cause you’re all a bunch of pussies!”“As manager – ”“As manag
