2. Sarah: Denial

I lay there, broken and battered, as Alex held me close. His tears fell on my face, mixing with my own.

The pain radiated all over my body. I could feel the bruises forming.

"I'm so sorry, Sarah," he whispered, his voice shaking. "I don't know what comes over me. I love you so much."

I wanted to believe him. I wanted to think that this time would be different. But deep down, I knew it was all a lie.

"You provoke me," he said, his voice laced with blame. "You pushed me to this. If you just listened to me, if you just did what I said, this wouldn't have happened."

I felt a surge of anger, but I knew better than to express it. I knew that would only make things worse.

"I'm sorry," I lied, trying to placate him. "I'll try to do better, I'll be a better wife."

He stroked my hair, his touch gentle now. "I love you, Sarah. I don't want to hurt you. But you need to understand me. I have a temper. I can't help it, you make me mad"

I nodded, feeling trapped. I knew I had to escape, but I didn't know how.

As we lay there, I felt like I was living in a nightmare. I was trapped in a cycle of abuse, and I didn't know how to break free.

But for now, I had to pretend. I had to pretend that everything was okay, that Alex was sorry, that he would change, that he loved me.

Looking back, I can see the signs now. Possessiveness, jealousy, control. It was all there, even during our courting.

He would get upset if I didn't answer his calls right away, if I didn't text him back immediately. He would accuse me of flirting with other men, of not loving him enough.

But I brushed it off as love, as passion. I thought it was cute that he cared so much.

He would question me about my past, about my relationships before him. He would get angry if I didn't tell him everything, if I didn't share every detail.

But I thought he was just interested, that he wanted to know me better.

He would make jokes about me leaving him, about me finding someone else. He would say things like, "You'll never find anyone like me," or "I'm the only one who really loves you."

But I laughed it off, thinking he was just teasing.

Now, I see it for what it was - a warning sign. A sign of the control, the manipulation, the abuse that was to come.

But I didn't see it then. I was blinded by love, by the charm, by the charisma.

And even now, I'm not sure that I want to see it. I'm not sure if I want to admit that I made a mistake, that I ignored the signs.

Because if I do, that means I have to leave him. And I'm not sure if I'm ready for that.

I know Alex has issues, but I believe I can fix him. I've always been drawn to broken people, people who need my help. And Alex is the ultimate project.

I think about all the times he's hurt me, all the times he's made me cry. But I also think about the times he's apologized, the times he's promised to change.

And I believe him. I believe that with my love, my support, my care, he can overcome his demons.

I thought that if I could just get him to see the error of his ways, he would change. I believed that the man I fell in love with was still in there, somewhere.

I convinced myself that his behavior was a result of his own pain and insecurity, and that if I could just be patient and understanding enough, he would eventually come around. I thought that our love was strong enough to overcome anything.

I feel a sense of purpose when I'm with him, like I'm making a difference. Like I'm saving him from himself, like I'm making him a better man.

And that's what keeps me going, even when things get tough. That's what makes me stay.

I know Emily thinks I'm crazy, that I'm enabling him. But she doesn't understand. She doesn't see the good in him, the potential.

I do. And I'm willing to risk everything to help him reach it.

Because that's what saviors do. We risk everything for the people we love.

And I love Alex. I love him more than anything.

So I'll stay, no matter what. I'll stay, and I'll help him, and I'll save him.

Even if it kills me.

Or so I thought. 

I'll never forget the day my parents died. I was 19, and my world was shattered. I felt lost and alone, like I was drowning in a sea of grief.

That's when Alex, my college boyfriend, stepped in. He was my rock, my comfort, my safe haven. We had been dating for a year, and I thought he was the love of my life.

As I navigated the dark days after my parents' death, Alex was always there for me. He helped me with the funeral arrangements, held me when I cried, and even helped me sort out my parents' estate.

I was so grateful for his support that I didn't think twice when he proposed to me two years later. I thought we were in love, and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.

But looking back, I realize that Alex's behavior changed after we got married. He became controlling and possessive, making me feel trapped and suffocated. I didn't recognize the warning signs, and I didn't know how to escape. He wasn't the Alex I fell in love with in college.

Now, I see that Alex's charm and charisma were just a facade, a mask that hid his true nature. And I'm determined to break free from his grasp and start a new life, no matter what it takes.