CHAPTER 12

The Struggle Within Adrian

“You’re thinking about her again, aren’t you?” Alice’s voice was sharp, cutting through the quiet tension in the room.

Adrian didn't bat an eyelash. He sat at his desk, papers laid out before him, but his focus was a million miles away. He could almost feel her there—Flora. That haunted look she had given him the last time they spoke, the way her face crumpled when he'd let her go, the way it broke something deep inside of him.

He just couldn't get it out of his mind.

"Alice, please," he muttered without lifting his head. "Not now."

She rounded the desk, her heels clicking smartly against the hardwood floors. "You have been like this for days. The pack notices it, Adrian. The longer you drag this out, the more they'll start questioning your leadership."

Adrian's jaw clenched. "I'm aware."

The words were thin, empty. He wasn't aware at all. His leadership? That was the least of his worries. The pack could go to hell if it meant he didn't have to face the consequences of his own actions. But he knew that wasn't the reality. He wasn't just any wolf-he was the Alpha. Every move he made rippled through the pack. His choices, his mistakes-they all mattered.

"Look, I'm not blind," Alice said, her tone escalating in insistence. "You can't keep running from this. You have responsibilities-the pack, it needs you; I need you." She leaned forward, placing her hands on the edge of his desk, her fingers splayed like a spider waiting to strike.

Adrian swallowed hard, his throat tugging. "I know; I know what I'm supposed to do." Finally, he turned to her, his eyes black with frustration. "But it's just not that simple."

Alice straightened up, an icy, reasoning smile curling at the edges of her mouth. "It's precisely that simple, Adrian. Your duty to me-to us-to this pack. Flora? Gone. Let her go.

The words slapped him, but it was a sting against the weight in his chest. She would never understand, and neither would she.

But the more Alice talked, the more it bit at him with guilt.

Flora.

His mind wandered back to that day, his rejection, the finality in his words, the way he'd pushed her away, convinced himself it was for the best. The consequences were already clear, and it was too late to take it back now. But the regret hit him like a ton of bricks.

Again Alice's voice shredded its way through his mind: "So what's it gonna be, Adrian? You're gonna continue standing there, looking out that goddamn window and waiting for it, whatever 'it' might be? It's not gonna come, damn it. Make things right, Adrian. Consecrate them with the pack. Commit yourself to me now, public commitment, or watch this all tear itself to tatters. And you know this.

Adrian squeezed his eyes shut, breathing heavily. The expectation of the pack weighed on him like a vice in his chest, but the burden of his decision felt almost too weighty.

"I am not your puppet, Alice," he spat, the icy tone sharper than he wanted to let it sound.

She didn't flinch. "No. But you're a damn fool if you think the pack will see it any other way. You know what they want. You know what's expected of you."

Adrian didn't answer, instead turning away from her, his gaze shifting back to the window. The morning sun filtered through the glass, casting long shadows across the room. Outside, the pack house loomed like a prison.

That night, Adrian stood outside, hands sunk deep into the pockets of his coat, staring into the night. His mind kept returning to her, the face of the woman he'd pushed away.

Flora.

Everything was wrong without her. He was the Alpha; he had it all. But without her, it was an empty shell. He didn't know how to make this right, or even if he could.

A knock broke into his thoughts.

“Adrian?” It was his father, Alpha Derek. He didn’t wait for an invitation, stepping out onto the porch and joining his son. His father’s presence was as imposing as ever, his posture straight and commanding, his gaze intense.

“You’re distracted,” Derek said, his voice low but firm. “This isn’t like you.”

Adrian said nothing, his eyes still fixed on the night ahead.

Derek’s eyes narrowed. “Is it that damn woman again?”

Adrian confronted his father, his face a mask to conceal the storm in his belly. "I don't want to discuss it, Father."

"Too bad. You're going to," Derek returned, crossing his arms. "You've been sulking for days now. The pack is starting to get it. They're questioning your leadership. Do you want to lose your position over some woman?

Adrian's fists clenched, his anger welling. "I made my choice."

His father shook his head, a mild, pitying tone in his voice. "No, you didn't. You're running from it, Adrian. You let her go. And now, you're letting this pack slip through your fingers. Alice is the future. She's what we need to move forward.

Adrian's breath hitched. His father's words were like a cold slap, but he knew they were true. There was no room for mistakes in the pack. No room for weakness. And right now, that's exactly how Adrian felt-weakened.

"I don't need Alice to prove my strength," Adrian muttered, his gaze bitter.

Derek's eyes gentled, but his voice remained hard. "You don't get it, do you? This isn't about you anymore. This is about the pack. About our future. You can't afford to let personal feelings get in the way. It's time to do your duty.

Adrian looked away, those words still echoing in his head: duty. A word engrained into him from birth, yet too well when it came to Flora, it felt cagelike, a trap he couldn't escape.

The next morning, Adrian stood in his office, staring at the letter he had written to Flora. It was a first attempt at reaching out, a first attempt at making things right. But he wasn't so certain that it was the right move. The words sounded hollow, even to him.

Flora, he started.

His pen hovered over the page, the words hard to form.

The sound of footsteps behind him made him stop. He didn't have to turn around to know who it was.

"It's her, isn't it?" Alice's voice was icy, with an impatient tone to it. She always seemed to be so forthright in a way that sounded like a final demand.

Adrian said nothing. He put down the pen and carefully folded the letter before slipping it into an envelope.

He muttered, "I'm just doing what I think is right," but it wasn't really for Alice's benefit.

She let out a soft sigh as she stood beside him. "You're so damn stubborn. This whole thing's a mess, Adrian. You can't continue to drag your feet. You have to make a decision."

"I've made my decision," he said, frustration laced in his voice.

"Then what the hell are you doing, still holding onto that letter?" Alice shot back, her gaze narrowing. "You can't keep pretending like this is some… high school crush. You're the Alpha. You have to think bigger than that."

It flared in him again, and Adrian kept it in check. He didn't want to fight with Alice. But at the same time, he couldn't ignore the gnawing feeling of emptiness.

Flora was gone. And maybe she was better off without him. Maybe they both were.

Later that day, Adrian stood before the pack, trying to focus on the discussions at hand. His father's voice echoed in his ears