CHAPTER 10: THE START OF THE END

I will leave her for a moment not because I wanted to but I needed to. Even though I am not sure of my decision, I know it is the right thing for me to do. I can’t forget the sadness in her eyes and the fear that I might talk to my ex-wife and forget about her makes me touch. Through her stare she makes me feel that she loves me. Her lips on my lips still linger on me and forgetting it is the hardest part that I need to do. I am so into her right now, that is why I need to leave her for a moment to see if I can stop the love that is growing between us. I can hear my heartbeat screaming for her name. As well as the cries of the lost souls who were waiting for me to walk with them going to the afterlife. I need to weigh things now to know which is heavier. If it is love or responsibility?

“You look so serious my friend?” Michael asked and sat beside me on the rooftop under the bright moon.

We can see the city from above. The bright lights, the busy night shifts people, the party people, and the people who are tired from work and excited to go home, to see their families, and take a rest. I can hear noises too from the different voices of the different people. I can hear the car horns too. The noises gave me a headache the first time I heard them as if it was near me but now I can filter them. Is this one of the signs that I am becoming immortal? Like not being hungry anymore. I am scared that maybe when I am done with my six tasks I will forget how to love and the meaning of it. Michael said it is the reason why there are fallen angels. When watchers start to communicate and feel lust for human women, that is the start of the end. The end of purity, innocence, selflessness, and contentment. Now I need to clean the mess that we did because we humans learn knowledge and become impure.

I looked down at Tania’s house and my eyes passed the roof. I can see her sleeping soundly in her bed hugging her pillow. I can’t take my eyes off of her. I wish I could be with her tonight. Hug her and make her feel that I love her but I can’t even want to. I suddenly felt scared of letting her go because from the moment that I saw her. I know that she will be part of my life but I don’t want her to be involved in my task. I am afraid to start telling her about what I feel because I know once I started it. It would be hard to stop. It is hard and it scares me every time I think that she is not going to wait for me, but what else can I do aside from watching her from afar? This is not about me anymore. This is about who I am. The REAL ME.

“Isaac,” Michael called. Her eyes are blazing again. I don’t know how many times she is calling me because I feel like I was hypnotized staring at Tania.

“You’re lost again,” She said. She wants me to focus and pay attention because another soul needs me.

I heard a beg from the man who I guess was getting robbed by the men. I traced the voice and saw where it came from. The poor man was surrounded by the three men holding a butterfly knife asking for his cellphone and wallet. He was cornered and he was scared begging for his life. He gave me his wallet and his cellphone and I sense that the robbers are going to kill him. I fly to the poor man to avoid what will happen but Michael flies faster than me. She blocked me and stopped me from helping the man. Her eyes are blazing looking at me. Telling me not to stop what is destined to happen but I didn’t listen to her. I pushed her and flew to the man to help him but I was too late. I saw one of the robbers stabbing the man twice, thrice, sixth times without any mercy as I landed on the ground. The blood poured on the ground that came out from the man’s mouth. I shook my head and pitied the man. I can save his life if Michael didn’t interrupt. I watched the robbers run past beside me. They didn’t see me because I am invisible to their eyes. Michael followed me.

“Why?” I asked her. Looking straight to her blazing eyes.

“You don’t need to interact with the humans, practice that” She answered but I just looked at her and didn’t say a word. I just sigh.

“You are an angel of death, not a superhero” She added.

I saw my black smoke come out and bring the poor man’s soul to me. I looked at him standing in front of me. His shirt is covered with blood and he is begging me to help him. I looked back at Michael without a word but I partly blamed her for stopping me and I flew to the robbers. I can still hear their footsteps. I know they are not yet getting away. My eyes turned black again and my smoke is covering me with my big black wings. I know they are just around the corner because I can still hear their footsteps as well as the man’s cry. I checked every corner to find them and I was not wrong. I found them throwing all the evidence that might put them in jail. Including the wallet of the man that they robbed after they took the money. Divided it and put it inside their pockets. I flew towards them but before I reached them with my hands. The white smoke suddenly appeared to cover them and they were gone. I looked around but they were nowhere to be found.

“Damn it,” I said and punched the wall because of my frustration of losing them. They are only an inch away from me but I lost them.

“You lost them?” Michael asked. She is following me. I didn’t know

“Because of you!” I blamed her and my anger suddenly burst.

“Why did you stop me from stopping them from killing the poor man?” I asked and was still mad.

“Because you don’t need to interact with humans,” Michael answered.

“See what happens when angels interact with humans?” She asked with her blazing eyes looking at me and she made me face her. I looked at her with my black eyes and I am still mad. Not to her but to what she did.

“You think it would happen if the angels didn’t interact with humans in the first place?” She asked but I didn’t answer. I just shook my head and flew away.

“Hey! come back here!” She said but I didn’t and I didn’t even look back at her.

Talking to her right now will bring an argument. That is why I didn’t answer her. I went back to my apartment and threw the chair as a part of my frustration. Why do things need to be complicated? I took a deep breath and looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes are back to normal but still, I am mad not at Michael but at my situation because I feel so hopeless and choiceless.

“I don’t like how you act,” Michael said, flying past the rooftop going inside my apartment. I looked at her and apologized for my attitude a while ago. I acted like a brat child.

“I am just exhausted,” I said

“I know because the love is competing with responsibility,” She said and looked at me

“You need to choose… stay as human for her, like what Lilith chose but you will feel endless pain because you will never die… God will never accept you anymore and this is your last chance or forget about her and do the mission for reconciliation?” She asked and I don’t know what to answer. I looked at her and remember what she said and asked for confirmation,

“I can go back to my old life after the reconciliation right?”

She smiled and answer, “Of course”

I took a deep breath and looked at my dad. He is fading. I almost cannot see him and his movements are getting slower and I am worried about him. Then I looked at the man who was just stabbed a while ago. He is sitting now beside dad looking at me. As if waiting for me to do something to help him. I looked at myself in the mirror and tried to recognize myself because I feel like I am not the old Isaac anymore. Setting Tanya aside makes me feel exhausted. “Love or responsibility?” Michael’s voice is echoing in my head now and it makes me feel like a ticking bomb that I need to make a decision right away.

“Help,” The man said to me while still looking at me.

“What is your name?” I asked while still facing the mirror and staring at myself.

“Carlo”

“Who are those guys?” He didn’t answer. He just shook his head.

“Help me please,” He begged

“I have a family… I have three little beautiful girls” He continued. Trying to convince me to help him.

I shook my head and looked at Carlo without a word and felt pity for him. He looks like a decent man who is just working for his family. He didn’t know those guys who robbed and killed him. That is why I need to double work to trace and find them.

“I will help you,” I told Carlo, which made him smile.

“But in one condition… you will help me find them,” I said and he nodded.

We went back to the place where it happened and we saw people surrounding the area with the policemen and a reporter from national television. I heard that the name of the man who is the victim is Carlo San Miguel and he is only 27 years old who is working as a cleaner in a factory and for the suspects, they are still unidentified and the police are currently looking for them. I saw Carlo looking at his dead body and I felt his pity for himself and worried about what would happen to his family. He almost wants to cry but he’s stopping his tears. He looked at me with a question: what now?

“Come on, kid, we need to find them now,” I said but he didn’t move. He is still staring at his dead body on the ground.

“I need to talk to my family and tell them how much I love them,” He said and he looked at me. I smiled at him and said, “We have time for that but not now, because we need to find the men who killed you” And grabbed him near me to start moving.

We went to the rooftop and started watching the people. I know the killers are just around the corner. I just don’t know what happened and why they suddenly disappeared when I tried to touch them. It seems that someone saved them. Carlo is looking beside me. I can feel that he wants to take revenge on the killers who killed him but I wouldn’t let him do that. Revenge is bad but I will let him make them take back what they stole instead and it sounds good for him.

After a few hours of looking. Finally, we find the killers five miles away from the crime scene. He jumped with me and together we went to the killers to take back what they stole and that is his life. At the quiet bridge of San Pablo, we heard them laughing and talking as if they didn’t kill someone. They are free and having a good time while the other one is worried about what will happen to his family now that he is dead. I think they were drunk. I threw a can in front of them to stop them from walking when they saw the can drop in front of them. I spread my wings and make them move to create a wind that will blow things beside them. They looked at each other and I can feel their fear now. I heard one of them say that the bridge where they are at is haunted. We are standing in front of them but they cannot see us. They keep on looking around and I know they want to run but their fear freezes them. I count one up to three and in an instant, they can see Carlo now standing in front of them. Their eyes grew wide as they saw the bloody Carlo looking at them.

“You are already dead,” one of them said and Carlo slowly shook his head. I am controlling him. I can control him because he lets me control him. He looked at me and I nodded as my signal.

“Stay away from us,” The three said when they saw Carlo slowly walking to them. Each step that he made gives terror to the three that gives me fulfilment even for a little. Carlo continues walking to them while the blood from the stab that they made to Carlo flows.

“Stay away from us, you are already dead,” They said and they ran. Carlo runs after them and I fly to them.

I landed in front of them and they were surprised to see me and my wings bigger than them. Their jaws dropped and Carlo ran to them. He grabbed one of the men who stabbed him and they both fell on the bridge. I heard an eerie sound from under the bridge and when I looked at them the white smoke came out from the man and in an instant, his body burned and he turned into ash. His friends saw what happened and that is why they ran again but we followed them. They can only see Carlo and not me. That is why they thought Carlo rose from the dead and took revenge on them. I stopped following them and watched Carlo chase them. I can see their fears and I can feel Carlo’s anger towards them. He ran after his killers. One down and two more to go.

“Take back what is yours” I whispered while watching him still running after his murderers.

“Stay away, you are already dead,” They said while still running and kept on turning their heads to Carlo.

Until they were hit by the bus and in an instant, they turned into ashes. The bus stopped and the driver went down to check what happened. He looked left and right, shook and scratched his head when he found nothing. He went inside the bus and left. Carlo is gone too. He is gone after his two murderers hit by the bus. There’s a piece of paper that fell in my hand and “Sloth” was written on it. I crumpled the paper and it turned into ashes. Lazy for choosing a decent way of living and they want easy money even if they ruined someone’s life just for the sake of money. I smiled and shook my head as I remembered my ex-wife Maria. I feel new energy that enters my body and flows in my hands. I looked at my hands and I saw a cloud of black smoke coming from them. I inhaled all the energy that surrounded me and then I flew back to my apartment.

I sat on the chair and rested even though I didn't feel tired. Michael is not here. I hope she is not mad at me because of how I acted a while ago. I know I still have a long mile to run to finish this task and I don’t know where I can carry on without seeing Tania. I looked up and my eyes passed through the roof. I see the sky clearly and the stars that are shining bright. I don’t know if he is looking down at me too and I don’t know if he is proud of me now. It’s been a long time since I haven’t talked to him and I don’t even recognize him now but I know once I am back on track I will start to go on with my new life with the woman that I desire now. I hear the door slowly opening and I can see who is opening it. It is Tania. I immediately hid from her. I watched her go inside my apartment and start looking around. She is wearing pajamas and a shirt. She is supposed to be sleeping now but she is here inside my apartment. She is standing in front of me but she can’t see me because I don’t want her to see me. I closed my eyes to avoid myself from showing to her but when I heard her voice calling me with sadness and longing. I suddenly opened my eyes and looked at her.

“Where are you now?” She asked herself. She picked up my jacket and smelled it and then she rubbed it on her face and closed her eyes.

“Please come back” She whispered and I know she misses me so much because I feel the same way. I tried to touch her face just to feel her skin but she opened her eyes. As if she feels it.

“Isaac,” She said with longing inside. Hearing her name-calling me is like a fire alarm. Once I heard it. It makes me deaf. Deaf of my love for her. I closed my eyes to resist seeing her and to stop myself as well. Even her scent, her warm temperature is tempting me. To show myself and hug her, kiss her like I am always imagining, and tell her how much she captures my heart but I need to keep it that way just imagine it because I need to leave it behind. I have an important task to do and that is saving my dad who is gently fading beside me, and to take my old life back.

“Tania” Divina called her. She immediately dropped my jacket and ran to the door.

“I am just here mom,” She said and closed my door.

I open my eyes again and she is gone but her scent is left inside my apartment. That is tempting me to see her. She misses me and she loves me and I know it now. I can feel it from her. She was just one inch away from me a while ago but I am not allowed to touch her because I am avoiding myself. I still have five more to go. I already removed the greed and sloth and I am eager to find the five left to finish this task as soon as possible. Not just only for me but for my dad.  I looked up again and asked him directly,

“Are you happy now?” Even though I know I will not get any answer. Maybe not now but soon.