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CHAPTER 72
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A vow of hate CHAPTER 73
I couldn’t sleep. The silence in my room was suffocating. It pressed down on my chest and didn’t budge. Sometimes, I wished Christian’s house was situated in the loud parts of town, just so I wouldn’t feel so alone when the night came. I would’ve had the sounds of cars and screams of angry neighbors and drunk husbands to keep me company. That was one of the things I missed about living in an apartment. I found it annoying before, but now I missed it more than anything. This gated community shit was just too quiet. The houses were much too big and too spread apart that you almost forgot you had neighbors. Huffing one more time, I slipped out of bed and walked out of the room. The house was eerily quiet, but it was already 2am so that was to be expected. I slowly padded over to Valerie’s room to check on her. I peeked in through the slit in the door, and the sight I met took me by surprise. Chloe was in Valerie’s bed, cuddling her as they both slept soundly. She had her arm wrapped pro
A vow of hate CHAPTER 74
CHRISTIAN“What are you talking about?” I asked her, taking a step back so we had some space between us. “This.” She waved a hand between the both of us, looking like she was in pain. I hated the look on her face. “You and I, Christian. I know why you married me, you’ve made it clear every single day for months that you hated me. And now… now we’re… you’ve been really kind and sweet and you went the extra mile for my mom, and you’ve just been so so kind–”“Is there a problem with that?” I crossed my arms over my chest. I knew I was being defensive, but I couldn’t help it. I understood her concerns and what she was saying, but how could I explain it when I didn't even understand it myself?She closed her eyes and opened them again. “The problem… the problem is that i can’t live like this. I know you derive some kind of sick pleasure from keeping me second guessing myself, and it’s just another kind of punishment on your end, but I can't live with the inconsistencies. I can’t believe so
A vow of hate CHAPTER 75
I sighed as I tossed the file in my hand back on the table and watched as the papers flew everywhere. “They can’t do a damn thing right!” I whisper yelled, feeling the frustration ooze off of me. It was getting to the point where I would have to fire the entire marketing team. I picked up the phone to dial my assistant, but paused when I heard voices from outside.“I’m sorry sir, but as I’ve tried to tell you multiple times, Mr Walker is not available to take visits right now. You can drop a message and I’ll relay it to him when he’s free.”“Fuck you and whatever you have to say, that’s my son! You can’t stop me from seeing my son!”“Sir? Sir I’m going to have to call security.”“I need to see my son!”“Sir… sir you can’t go in there—”I held my head in my hand and sighed again. It was my father, I knew from the voice. He had been calling relentlessly the whole day, which was a bit confusing since I figured he would sulk over the punch incident for months and years to come. Besides th
A vow of hate CHAPTER 76
HAZELThe scent of hibiscus tea and ginger wafted through the air, tainting the kitchen with a slightly sharp aroma. I stood over the big pot and stirred with a small smile on my lips as I hummed along to the music coming from the living room. Tina wordlessly arranged empty bottles on the counter so I could store the tea in them when I was done. Chloe was nursing a cup of coffee while she mindlessly scrolled on her phone. Her hair was in that tight bun again, and I quietly wondered if it didn’t hurt, because it looked like it did. Valerie was eating mini pancakes in her high chair and she occasionally mumbled her childish gibberish and went back to eating. Chloe stood up and left the kitchen when she was done with her coffee, leaving Valerie, Tina and I. I finished packing the hibiscus tea in all the bottles and was in the process of putting them in the fridge.“Haze, I want more duce.” Valerie said, asking for juice.I gave her a pointed look from the other side of the kitchen and a
A vow of hate CHAPTER 77
“Okay, she’s a bitch.”“Right?!” I exclaimed, looking at Olivia who was sitting across from me with a chip in hand. She had a thoughtful expression on her face, like she was thinking deeply about something. And when she was done, she nodded with a note of finality.“Yep, she’s a bitch,” she said, affirming what she had said before. “Finally!” I almost screamed in relief. Finally someone could see what I’ve been trying to say for more than a month. Finally, I felt like I wasn’t the crazy one. Mia tutted beside Olivia. “We can’t just write her off like that.” She said.I frowned, and Olivia mirrored my expression. “Why not? It’s obvious that she’s up to something evil.”“Oh come on,” Mia said. “She’s probably just gotten attached to Valerie and it made her react so quickly without thinking. Surely she’s apologized to you?”“She hasn’t.” I said abruptly.“Oh, well, maybe she’s embarrassed? I know I would be. She’ll probably come around to it.”Olivia shot her a bewildered look. “Girl y
A vow of hate CHAPTER 78
It was 4am when I opened my eyes again. Christian’s arm was tightly wrapped around me, and when I tried to untangle myself, he made a little sound that made me freeze, but thankfully, he didn’t wake up. I couldn’t believe I had fallen asleep in his arms after what happened last night. The plan was to go back to my room when he fell asleep, but I ended up sleeping too. I had almost died from the embarrassment last night, and the only reason I didn’t walk out was because I was too chicken to have a conversation about it.What had I done? Why did I have to go ahead and say those stupid words to him? Love? Christian Walker didn’t do love. I was such a fool.After a good five minutes of struggling, I finally freed myself from his hold and tiptoed to my room. I was still in the clothes from last night, I hadn’t even taken a shower so I did just that. I set the water to an almost scalding hot temperature and stood there in the shower while it washed my actions away. When I finished, I was f
A vow of hate CHAPTER 79
CHRISTIANI did a double take when I walked into work. My sister was in my office.“What are you doing here? Is something wrong?” I asked, placing my briefcase on my desk with a small frown creasing my brows.“Hello to you too, brother.” She said sarcastically, rolling her eyes as she twirled in my chair.“Is mom okay?”“Of course.”I took a step and stood in front of her, one hand on my waist and one resting on my desk. “Why are you here then?”She stopped twirling and her face morphed into one of seriousness. “We need to talk.”Uh oh.My frown deepened. “About what?”She didn’t say anything, and only gave me a pointed look, like I was supposed to know what she was hinting at. I shone my eyes. “Well, go on then. I have a very important meeting in thirty minutes.”She rolled her eyes. “Christian you already know what I’m going to say. You’ve been avoiding me and I really need you to listen to me.”I sighed heavily and closed my eyes, pinching the bridge of my nose. “Mia, it’s 10am. Di
A vow of hate CHAPTER 80
HAZELI had never been more confused in my life than I was at that moment. Neither had I been so scared of the look in Christian’s face. It wasn’t anger. It was pure betrayal. I couldn’t even imagine all the things that were going on in his head as he looked from that file to me. And all my words fell on deaf ears. I had gone into his office to pick up my book, and I hadn’t even been in my room since I went straight to the home gym from there, until I walked into him in my room, holding that file and looking at me like I had lodged a knife in his chest. “How could I have trusted you?”Those words kept resounding in my head over and over again, even as I staggered to my bed to sit down. I didn’t need to think that hard to understand why Christian had looked so hurt. It was just as Mia had said— the whole stealing of corporate information. He thought it was about to happen all over again.I called Mia, and the second she answered, the tears came pouring down again.“Hazel? Are you okay
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A vow of hate EPILOGUE
CHRISTIAN & HAZEL I chuckled as the doctor squirted the gel on Hazel’s tummy, making her squirm. Hazel always reacted to the cold. I kissed her and watched as the wand moved back and forth, and the image became clearer. “There’s your baby.” The doctor, Suzanne smiled, clicking and measuring. I held my breath as she turned on the sound, and I heard the heartbeat. The odd noise filled the room, the fast, steady sound like music to my ears. “You’re sure you want to know the sex?” “Yes!” Hazel and I exclaimed. “It’s a girl,” Suzanne announced. I laughed. “I’m surrounded. My own little harem.” Hazel’s eyes were focused on the screen. She tilted her head, looking confused. “It all looks good…” Suzanne’s voice trailed off. I frowned at the subtle change in the noise. It was faster, like an echo of itself, the strumming continuous. “Well, look who’s been hiding,” Suzanne mused and glanced over at us. She grinned and winked at me. “You did good, Christian.” She peered at the screen in
A vow of hate CHAPTER 169
HAZELI crawled into bed with Christian, snuggled into his side, and rested my head on his chest. He groaned as he shifted.“Are you all right?” I asked, worried that I had hurt him.He nodded. “Colin warned me that getting the sensation back in my legs was going to hurt. He’s fucking right.”Between rushing after Valerie, walking for everyone, moving around the house with his walker, and sitting on Valerie’s bed as he read to her for over an hour, I knew he was exhausted. But when I asked if he was ready to sleep, he said he wasn’t. I felt the same way too. Mentally, I was still wide awake. “Do you want some pain killers?”“No. As weird as it sounds, I want to feel it. I never thought I would get to this point, so aches and all, I’m going to go with it.”I laughed softly. “You’re right, Christian. You are weird.”He dragged her up his chest,causing a little gasp of surprise to escape me.“You wanna help me forget about the aches, Hazel?” he murmured in my ear, biting my lobe. “Make m
A vow of hate CHAPTER 168
The room around me buzzed with activity. Voices, people moving, talking to me, trying to get my attention. I held my breath, scared that if I even so much as breathed, I would miss something important.My focus was on one thing. The doctor examining Valerie. I had insisted, and finally Hazel relented, seeing how upset I was about her. My wife glanced up, smiling as she lifted Valerie to her shoulder. She tilted her chin, letting me know everything was okay. A fact that she was certain of, but I needed to be sure. She handed Valerie over to me and escorted the doctor out and I relaxed, pressing a kiss to my daughter’s head. She looked up, wrinkling her nose.“Hi, Daddy.” “Hey, baby girl.” She patted my hand. “Boo-boo better,” she cooed. “Good.” “Yeah, Daddy feels better.” I brushed a curl off her face. “How did you know?” She pushed on my cheek with her tiny finger. “You Daddy again. You smile.” I dropped my head, pressing kisses all over her sweet little fa
A vow of hate CHAPTER 167
I had never tried to comfort a person still caught between being a young man and a grown-ass adult. I had never reached out and been the role model.It was another lesson I was learning.Dennis was emotional. Filled with apologies. Begging for forgiveness. Once I broke through his stuttering words and barely held-back sobs, I set him straight.“What happened was not your fault. You didn’t put me in this wheelchair, Dennis. None of it is your doing. You need to stop blaming yourself.”“I can’t.”“You can. Get some help. I’ll ask Randy to take you on. He is an amazing person to help you sort things out and get your head straight.” I barked out a laugh. “If he can handle my shit, he can help you.”“But he’s here.”“Yes,” I agreed. “Which is where you need to be. You have a life waiting here for you, Dennis. A job you’re good at. Friends. Family.” I huffed out a breath. “Don’t let that day define you. Move past it.”“The guilt,” he said quietly. “It holds me hostage. That I’m walking arou
A vow of hate CHAPTER 166
I grabbed her hips, guiding her. Pushing her up and pulling her back down. She sobbed my name, her back arching as her release washed through her. I watched as she lost herself in the moment. I had forgotten how beautiful she was in her release. The way her entire frame shuddered. How she bit her lip and lowered her chin as if sinking into the feeling. The breathiness of my name falling from her lips. And how it felt when her muscles fluttered, tightened around me, taking all I had—giving me so much more.My body strained, the urge to thrust and grind against her eclipsing everything else. An orgasm hit me, obliterating everything in its path. I saw stars, the ecstasy was so great. I opened my mouth in a soundless scream, and somewhere, deep inside, I felt a flex, the pinching of muscles not used for so long now gripping, then vanishing as fast as they had engaged. A long, agonized sound escaped as my entire being surrendered. The pain, the pleasure, the sweet torture of it all.Hazel
A vow of hate CHAPTER 165
CHRISTIANThe taste and feel of my wife chased away the last lingering remnants of my dream. Hazel wasn’t walking away. She was right here, with me, in my arms.Right where she should be.I kissed her deeply, seeking out her tongue with mine, stroking hard and deep. Reclaiming her mouth. Reclaiming her. I yanked her tight to my chest, pulling off the towel she had draped around her body. I pushed down the blanket that covered me, needing to feel her. I dragged her over my lap, groaning at the feel of her weight pressing down on me. Still kissing her, I slid my hands over her silken thighs, parting them and settling her so she straddled me.She pulled back, gasping. “Is this okay?”“Fucking yes, it’s okay.” I pressed my mouth to her neck, licking up the damp, elegant column of her throat. “It’s fucking perfect.” I murmured. “You’re so perfect for me, Haze. And I’m such an idiot. Everything that has happened, it only made you stronger, but not me… I got weak.”She grabbed my face, holdi
A vow of hate CHAPTER 164
Valerie’s feet kicked in excitement as we turned down the street. I smiled at her in the rearview mirror.“Daddy waiting!” she crowed.I felt both excitement and trepidation as I pulled into the driveway. I wanted to come home so much, yet I was afraid of what was going to happen when we were alone. Would Christian continue moving forward, or would our presence once again cause him to slide backward? Once he got over the initial pleasure of seeing his child, would he again find her, and me, more of a bother? I wasn’t sure I could take it if that happened. I couldn’t watch the man I love disappear into the shell he used to be. But a small voice in my head kept telling me he wouldn’t. The gifts, the notes, the calls, and texts from him were all sent by the man I loved. He had made sure I knew how sorry he was feeling and how hard he was working to come back to us. He even opened up and expressed his worries, finally letting me know the depth of his fears. Finally letting me understand w
A vow of hate CHAPTER 163
HAZELChristian lifted his face from my neck, his eyes red, his cheeks damp. I had never witnessed him break down that way. The rare occasions when he cried, he still held himself in check, his pride unable to allow even me to fully see his pain. I grabbed the tissues Maddox had dropped beside us and wiped Christian’s face, cupping his cheeks. “Hey,” I whispered, looking up at him from where I crouched between his legs. “I guess I lost the last piece of my man card with that display,” he mumbled.“I doubt it. Maddox was openly weeping before you even finished walking, and Mia had to leave the room.” He frowned in confusion. “Why?” “They’re as proud of you as I am, Christian.” “Where are they?” “Maddox made sure you were back in your chair, and they left. I heard the car driving away, so I assumed they left to give us some privacy.” He looked down, surprised. “I have no recollection of being moved.” I softened my voice. “You were pretty emotional.”
A vow of hate CHAPTER 162
Hazel loved the spa. She sent pictures of them all enjoying the treatments, sipping champagne, even funny ones of Valerie getting a baby massage and having her toes done with the girls, holding up a glass of apple juice. They made me smile, even as my heart ached. I sent flowers to the hotel for Hazel. I added a box of her preferred chocolates. When she went back to mom and Grandpa’s, I sent a chef to make her favorite meal. A basket of bath products to indulge her love of soaking in the tub. I sent it with a stuffed bear, fluffy and cute with a card attached, reading: "Snuggle this until you’re home. I’ll take his place when you’re ready. All my love—Your Christian". One night, lying in our bed alone, I turned on some music. I shut my eyes and listened as the soothing voice of Neil Diamond played in the darkness. A song came on, and for some reason, the lyrics hit me as they never had before. “The Story of My Life” spoke of the depth of his love for the woman in his life
