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CHAPTER 28
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A vow of hate CHAPTER 29
The drive to the car was probably the most stressful activity I had done all week. On one hand, I was overthinking every possible outcome from meeting with my ex boyfriend in such an open place. And on the other hand, I couldn't stop my mind from drifting back to Christian. I was worried that he knew something. Way more than he was letting on. I just couldn’t quite place my finger on it. And then there was the issue of the car too. The man had just given me a Bentley! And all I could do was worry and be paranoid about whether or not there was a hidden tracking device or a camera of some sort somewhere in the car. What if Christian was sitting in his living room, comfortably watching me on his enormous TV and laughing at how stupid I was? I shook my head to get rid of the thoughts. I was just paranoid and I had way bigger fish to fry right now. I would worry about Christian later. At exactly 1:05pm, I parked across the street from The Lark and walked over to the other side. I could se
A vow of hate CHAPTER 30
“I want you to kill Christian Walker.”I burst into laughter. I laughed so hard that I was clutching my sides in pain and a couple heads turned to look at me with irritation written all over their features. I was pulling too much attention to myself. And for someone who wanted to be incognito, I wasn't doing a very good job at it. One look at Mark's face told me that he didn’t find my sense of humor amusing. “Mark, that’s crazy, even for you. That was really funny though, you really had me there with that one.”A loud noise reverberated around the whole cafe as Mark slammed his hand on the table, causing me to jump in surprise. More heads turned towards us now, and I gave them what I hoped was an apologetic smile. “I’m dead serious, Hazel. Dead serious.”I still didn’t believe him. Murder? He couldn’t be serious, right? But one look at his face told me that he was. I let out an inaudible gasp and leaned back in my seat like that would somehow take me away from here, away from the mo
A vow of hate chapter 31
I sat in the car for a really long time after I left the cafe, trying to get my emotions in order. Nothing seemed to be working though. And I was no doubt giving the whole of Seattle a show. Picture a woman sitting in a Bentley staring into space with snot running down her nose.yeah, definitely not something you saw everyday. I was scared. That was the first emotion I felt when I got back in the car. I was scared of what I was expected to do and all that would happen if I decided not to go through with it. I was in a pretty tight spot with no way to get out of it. When I was finally able to get all the snot and streaks of mascara out of my face, I had a half empty box of wipes and still no solution to my problem, so I decided that it was time to head home.The drive home took way longer than it took me to drive to the cafe, and by the time I got home, it was already dark out. I took deep breaths in the garage, looked at myself in the mirror and repeatedly told myself that everything w
A vow of hate CHAPTER 32
I walked into the room, feeling more confused than ever. I had left a bunch of clothes on the bed when I was getting ready to meet Mark, and now they were nowhere to be found. The bed was also perfectly made. I thought Tina might have decided to help me clean up, but something just didn’t feel right. My indoor slippers weren’t at the foot of my bed anymore, and my vanity was wiped clean. None of the jewelry or makeup was there anymore, I opened the cabinets to double check but they were all empty too. Empty and wiped clean, not even one speck of dust was visible. My bathroom wasn’t much different either. I couldn’t find my bottles of shampoo or my shower gel. Not even my loofah. The bathroom looked clean and unused. I tried to check the closet, but the door wouldn’t budge. I was starting to panic now, and all kinds of thoughts were running through my mind. Had we been robbed too? It definitely did look like it. I felt chills run down my spine. How were these people getting into houses
A vow of hate CHAPTER 33
I took a quick shower, worried that if I spent too much time in Christian’s bathroom, something would come out of nowhere and grab me or something. It was a crazy and stupid thought, but I’d like to think that it was a valid fear. After showering, I changed into a matching pair set of cotton pajamas and gave myself a lengthy pep talk before I went back downstairs. The chef had made a late dinner, and Christian was plating it in the kitchen. When he finished, he brought out a large tray with our individual plates out to the living room. Mia had suggested we watch a new kids movie that just came out, and to do that, we had to eat in the living room. A development that I was pleasantly surprised that Christian had agreed to. I looked down at my bowl of chicken soup and smiled, inhaling the delicious scent that made my stomach grumble in response. Valerie started dozing off half way into the movie, so I excused myself to go tuck her in. It was a welcome distraction from being stuck in th
A vow of hate CHAPTER 34
We sat in silence for a long time after Mia went to bed. Christian had thankfully moved away from me the second he heard Mia’s door close with a soft click. And now, I was sitting on the other end of the couch with my back ramrod straight. All those years my mother spent trying to get me to sit straight and fix my posture, and here I finally was, putting the practice to good use. She would be so proud if she could see me right now. I focused my eyes on the TV screen in front of me, showing a new animation series now. My eyes were itching to look away from the burst of colors in front of me, but I knew that the second I did that, I would be forced to look at Christian, and that was the last thing I wanted to do right now. My eyes were starting to water from not blinking for so long, and I silently wished I could be sucked into the screen by some invisible energy only to discover that it was some alternate reality which Christian didn’t exist in. Christian gave up first, and soon after,
A vow of hate CHAPTER 35
“I almost died, Hazel… I almost fucking died.”I froze, and suddenly everything made sense. I was taken back to the things Mia had said to me the afternoon I had lunch with her and their mom. The pieces slowly started falling into place in my head, and my heart was thudding dangerously loud. He was talking about his past relationship, about the girl Mia told me about. The one who had betrayed his trust and taken everything from him… the one who had almost killed him. I understood why he was so angry all the time now, it was starting to make sense. But what I still didn’t understand was why his anger was directed at me. What did I have to do with all this? How could he have married me specifically to exert revenge for what was done to him if I have no idea about how I play into the whole thing? I barely even knew him before I got kidnapped by him.“Christian…” I whispered, finally letting my hand rest on his cheek, cradling his rough stubble. “I understand what you’re saying, I underst
A vow of hate CHAPTER 36
CHRISTIANWhen Mia walked through the doors looking terrified out of her mind, I was worried, and I immediately went into big brother mode. When she asked if she could spend the night, I immediately said yes and scolded her for even asking. But I knew I needed to get to work fast before she saw anything that would blow our cover. I made her a warm cup of green tea and kept her busy with Valerie while I proceeded to make my room look like it belonged to Hazel and I. The flowery scent of her perfume filled my senses the second I pushed her door open and I inhaled deeply, letting the familiar scent fill my senses. It took me back to the past… she still smelled exactly the same. But when the high wore off, I realized that what I was about to do wasn’t an easy task. I had my work cut out for me. Her room was a mess– not in the sense that it was dirty, but that she had obviously had a hard time finding something to wear so all her clothes were everywhere, and I had to work at an incredibly
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A vow of hate EPILOGUE
CHRISTIAN & HAZEL I chuckled as the doctor squirted the gel on Hazel’s tummy, making her squirm. Hazel always reacted to the cold. I kissed her and watched as the wand moved back and forth, and the image became clearer. “There’s your baby.” The doctor, Suzanne smiled, clicking and measuring. I held my breath as she turned on the sound, and I heard the heartbeat. The odd noise filled the room, the fast, steady sound like music to my ears. “You’re sure you want to know the sex?” “Yes!” Hazel and I exclaimed. “It’s a girl,” Suzanne announced. I laughed. “I’m surrounded. My own little harem.” Hazel’s eyes were focused on the screen. She tilted her head, looking confused. “It all looks good…” Suzanne’s voice trailed off. I frowned at the subtle change in the noise. It was faster, like an echo of itself, the strumming continuous. “Well, look who’s been hiding,” Suzanne mused and glanced over at us. She grinned and winked at me. “You did good, Christian.” She peered at the screen in
A vow of hate CHAPTER 169
HAZELI crawled into bed with Christian, snuggled into his side, and rested my head on his chest. He groaned as he shifted.“Are you all right?” I asked, worried that I had hurt him.He nodded. “Colin warned me that getting the sensation back in my legs was going to hurt. He’s fucking right.”Between rushing after Valerie, walking for everyone, moving around the house with his walker, and sitting on Valerie’s bed as he read to her for over an hour, I knew he was exhausted. But when I asked if he was ready to sleep, he said he wasn’t. I felt the same way too. Mentally, I was still wide awake. “Do you want some pain killers?”“No. As weird as it sounds, I want to feel it. I never thought I would get to this point, so aches and all, I’m going to go with it.”I laughed softly. “You’re right, Christian. You are weird.”He dragged her up his chest,causing a little gasp of surprise to escape me.“You wanna help me forget about the aches, Hazel?” he murmured in my ear, biting my lobe. “Make m
A vow of hate CHAPTER 168
The room around me buzzed with activity. Voices, people moving, talking to me, trying to get my attention. I held my breath, scared that if I even so much as breathed, I would miss something important.My focus was on one thing. The doctor examining Valerie. I had insisted, and finally Hazel relented, seeing how upset I was about her. My wife glanced up, smiling as she lifted Valerie to her shoulder. She tilted her chin, letting me know everything was okay. A fact that she was certain of, but I needed to be sure. She handed Valerie over to me and escorted the doctor out and I relaxed, pressing a kiss to my daughter’s head. She looked up, wrinkling her nose.“Hi, Daddy.” “Hey, baby girl.” She patted my hand. “Boo-boo better,” she cooed. “Good.” “Yeah, Daddy feels better.” I brushed a curl off her face. “How did you know?” She pushed on my cheek with her tiny finger. “You Daddy again. You smile.” I dropped my head, pressing kisses all over her sweet little fa
A vow of hate CHAPTER 167
I had never tried to comfort a person still caught between being a young man and a grown-ass adult. I had never reached out and been the role model.It was another lesson I was learning.Dennis was emotional. Filled with apologies. Begging for forgiveness. Once I broke through his stuttering words and barely held-back sobs, I set him straight.“What happened was not your fault. You didn’t put me in this wheelchair, Dennis. None of it is your doing. You need to stop blaming yourself.”“I can’t.”“You can. Get some help. I’ll ask Randy to take you on. He is an amazing person to help you sort things out and get your head straight.” I barked out a laugh. “If he can handle my shit, he can help you.”“But he’s here.”“Yes,” I agreed. “Which is where you need to be. You have a life waiting here for you, Dennis. A job you’re good at. Friends. Family.” I huffed out a breath. “Don’t let that day define you. Move past it.”“The guilt,” he said quietly. “It holds me hostage. That I’m walking arou
A vow of hate CHAPTER 166
I grabbed her hips, guiding her. Pushing her up and pulling her back down. She sobbed my name, her back arching as her release washed through her. I watched as she lost herself in the moment. I had forgotten how beautiful she was in her release. The way her entire frame shuddered. How she bit her lip and lowered her chin as if sinking into the feeling. The breathiness of my name falling from her lips. And how it felt when her muscles fluttered, tightened around me, taking all I had—giving me so much more.My body strained, the urge to thrust and grind against her eclipsing everything else. An orgasm hit me, obliterating everything in its path. I saw stars, the ecstasy was so great. I opened my mouth in a soundless scream, and somewhere, deep inside, I felt a flex, the pinching of muscles not used for so long now gripping, then vanishing as fast as they had engaged. A long, agonized sound escaped as my entire being surrendered. The pain, the pleasure, the sweet torture of it all.Hazel
A vow of hate CHAPTER 165
CHRISTIANThe taste and feel of my wife chased away the last lingering remnants of my dream. Hazel wasn’t walking away. She was right here, with me, in my arms.Right where she should be.I kissed her deeply, seeking out her tongue with mine, stroking hard and deep. Reclaiming her mouth. Reclaiming her. I yanked her tight to my chest, pulling off the towel she had draped around her body. I pushed down the blanket that covered me, needing to feel her. I dragged her over my lap, groaning at the feel of her weight pressing down on me. Still kissing her, I slid my hands over her silken thighs, parting them and settling her so she straddled me.She pulled back, gasping. “Is this okay?”“Fucking yes, it’s okay.” I pressed my mouth to her neck, licking up the damp, elegant column of her throat. “It’s fucking perfect.” I murmured. “You’re so perfect for me, Haze. And I’m such an idiot. Everything that has happened, it only made you stronger, but not me… I got weak.”She grabbed my face, holdi
A vow of hate CHAPTER 164
Valerie’s feet kicked in excitement as we turned down the street. I smiled at her in the rearview mirror.“Daddy waiting!” she crowed.I felt both excitement and trepidation as I pulled into the driveway. I wanted to come home so much, yet I was afraid of what was going to happen when we were alone. Would Christian continue moving forward, or would our presence once again cause him to slide backward? Once he got over the initial pleasure of seeing his child, would he again find her, and me, more of a bother? I wasn’t sure I could take it if that happened. I couldn’t watch the man I love disappear into the shell he used to be. But a small voice in my head kept telling me he wouldn’t. The gifts, the notes, the calls, and texts from him were all sent by the man I loved. He had made sure I knew how sorry he was feeling and how hard he was working to come back to us. He even opened up and expressed his worries, finally letting me know the depth of his fears. Finally letting me understand w
A vow of hate CHAPTER 163
HAZELChristian lifted his face from my neck, his eyes red, his cheeks damp. I had never witnessed him break down that way. The rare occasions when he cried, he still held himself in check, his pride unable to allow even me to fully see his pain. I grabbed the tissues Maddox had dropped beside us and wiped Christian’s face, cupping his cheeks. “Hey,” I whispered, looking up at him from where I crouched between his legs. “I guess I lost the last piece of my man card with that display,” he mumbled.“I doubt it. Maddox was openly weeping before you even finished walking, and Mia had to leave the room.” He frowned in confusion. “Why?” “They’re as proud of you as I am, Christian.” “Where are they?” “Maddox made sure you were back in your chair, and they left. I heard the car driving away, so I assumed they left to give us some privacy.” He looked down, surprised. “I have no recollection of being moved.” I softened my voice. “You were pretty emotional.”
A vow of hate CHAPTER 162
Hazel loved the spa. She sent pictures of them all enjoying the treatments, sipping champagne, even funny ones of Valerie getting a baby massage and having her toes done with the girls, holding up a glass of apple juice. They made me smile, even as my heart ached. I sent flowers to the hotel for Hazel. I added a box of her preferred chocolates. When she went back to mom and Grandpa’s, I sent a chef to make her favorite meal. A basket of bath products to indulge her love of soaking in the tub. I sent it with a stuffed bear, fluffy and cute with a card attached, reading: "Snuggle this until you’re home. I’ll take his place when you’re ready. All my love—Your Christian". One night, lying in our bed alone, I turned on some music. I shut my eyes and listened as the soothing voice of Neil Diamond played in the darkness. A song came on, and for some reason, the lyrics hit me as they never had before. “The Story of My Life” spoke of the depth of his love for the woman in his life
