PAIGE Friday arrives quickly, Samuel reminds me of our outing when we meet on campus, and it makes me uneasy. It's the first time in months that I've hung out with a guy alone like this. We agreed he'd pick me up at ten-thirty because I managed to swap shifts with a coworker, and today I have a change of clothes in my bag so I don't have to wear my work uniform. Plus, I already put on makeup before heading to the daycare to spend the little time I have left with Owen until Monday. "You look beautiful," he says with his soft voice, running his fingers through my slightly curled hair. "Thank you, darling," I whisper. "Look," he says, taking a few steps back so I can see him attempt a somersault. He makes me laugh, and I lie down on the ground next to him to play. Nothing will ever be better than making Owen laugh. When Ashton arrives, he catches me lying on the floor with Owen lying on my stomach. He stands with his arms crossed by the door, and I can read the teasing in his eyes. I
PAIGEThe night with Samuel is fine, but when I wake up, I know it will be sporadic things. We keep running into each other on campus, and I consider us friends because we occasionally grab coffee together in the cafeteria. He's hinted a couple of times that he'd like to repeat, but I've also hinted that I won't be able to until two weekends from now. It's a small and fiery routine we've started to maintain: every other Friday, we go to the motel."I'm going to Ian's place this afternoon to watch the soccer game."I lift my head from my cereal. I slept poorly because Owen decided to wake up at four in the morning and try to climb out of his crib. Luckily, I still have the baby monitor."Okay.""They've invited you too; they want you to come with me. They really liked you.""I'll go with Owen to show him the Halloween decorations on the streets.""Please," he pleads, making a puppy-dog face with clasped hands. "It'll only be a couple of hours, and they already know Owen. It'll be fine,
ASHTONTwo weeks and I haven't stopped thinking about what Apollo told me. Every time I consider it, I dismiss the idea; I can't have something serious, especially not with Paige. Yet, I keep thinking about it.This has been the weekend with her, I haven't seen Owen for five days, and since I see him more often, I'm feeling better. It's good for me to see him more days a week."And... are we going out tonight?"Her sharp nails stroke the snake tattooed on my neck, managing to scratch me and hurt me, so I push her away."No.""Why?" she grumbles. "Is it because of that bitch? I've seen you two talking a lot these months."‘A lot’ must be once a week, twice at most, and only to talk about Owen. She'd be three times as angry if she knew we've met outside the campus a couple more times because apparently now we share friends, and she'd cut my balls off if she knew I think about Paige's tits when I'm fucking her.""You don't care what I do."Faye snorts and follows my gaze. Paige is talkin
PAIGE"Get ready for Christmas," Laura warns me when there's nobody in the store.Yeah, I can see that not many people usually come. It's a somewhat expensive store, and mostly people come for special occasion outfits. There are beautiful dresses, and we sell these heels that I'm in love with."Is it crowded?""Too crowded!" she assures me. "Especially on Christmas Eve, you know, last-minute shoppers."I can imagine; sometimes I'm like that.I tidy up the clothes in the stockroom a bit, and my phone starts ringing in the purse I keep in one of the lockers in the stockroom. I enter the combination on the lock of my locker, and it doesn't occur to me that it could be something bad when I see Ashton's name. He's left, and I hadn't prepared Owen; surely now he won't let him sleep because he doesn't have his blanket. Taking him away on a Tuesday? To sleep with him?"Hello, everything okay?" I ask."We're at the hospital, I'll send you the address.""What?!"My chest tightens, and it hurts.
PAIGE"But what happened to him?!" Jo screams in the morning.I slept terribly because I stayed all night curled up in the chair in his room, watching over him. Today he woke up sad, and I feel sorry for him. I can't stop hugging and cuddling him, not even during breakfast."He started climbing or opening drawers at Ashton's house and fell on one. It was weird," I explain.Jo shrugs and starts preparing the coffee."It's the first time he's fallen like this, it's normal," she reassures me."No, it's Ashton. It was... very strange to see him like that," I admit."What do you mean?" Jo asks."I mean...," I pause to think. "He seems like a confident guy, as if nothing scares him or as if he has everything under control. Last night was the opposite.""And?" Jo prompts.That I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. I saw the most human side of Ashton, and I liked it too much because he wasn't the stone-cold type that everyone sees; he let himself be touched like those needy animals.
PAIGE"So... tonight, same time?" Samuel asks me as he catches me on campus between classes.Today, I doubt it because I don't feel like I need it or want it. Sex with him is fine, but I know I'm going to compare it with Ashton, and I know that with Samuel, it's already beyond these encounters every other Friday. He wants to go out, take me to dinner and the movies, and that's not what I'm looking for. Not with him."Ummm..."My phone vibrates in the pocket of my coat, and I frantically search for it to get rid of Samuel and this moment. Ashton's name lights up the screen."I have to take this," I excuse myself. "I'll send you a message later because I might go out with a friend tonight," I lie, although it's not entirely untrue because Jo wants me to go out with her and the guys.Samuel smiles at me, and it feels incredibly awkward as he reaches out and brushes my hair away from my face. I fake a smile and stride away from him with the phone pressed to my ear."Come here," he orders.
PAIGEExams have started, and now I'm stressed out with no free time at all. Owen's check-up is scheduled for this Friday, and I take the liberty of calling Ashton to see if he wants to join us, so he can stop blaming himself for what happened."Why are you calling me?" he asks."Hmm?" I hesitate. "Because I want to tell you something?""And if you lift your head?"I do it immediately, and I don't plan on smiling when I see him next to my car. It's not something I can control; I feel like a fool. I tuck my phone into my coat pocket and sink into my clothes, closing my notebook with a snap."What are you doing here?" I ask him.He licks his lips and runs his fingers through his wind-tousled hair. He should cut it a little, although this length suits him quite well."Don't you want to talk?" he says."Yes, but I don't think you knew I wanted to talk to you before I called you. Is everything okay?"Ashton doesn't seem like the type of guy who waits for you in your car. I don't know what
PAIGE"You should give it a try," Jo says."Mmhmm," I reply."I'm sure he gets more exercise thinking about you than when he's fighting.""Oh God! Do you only come here for sexual stuff or what?"Ian and Jo laugh from the sofa, and I return to my notes to study. It's all I do, and even in my free time between classes, I stay in the library buried in notes.Girl with pretty eyes.I read Samuel's message over and over again and type:Sporty guy.I don't ignore him, and I don't think my thing with Ashton is going to go much further than what's already happened. He doesn't date girls, and I know I'm not and won't be the only one, so I can hang out with whoever I want. But Samuel... I don't want him to get the wrong idea either.I leave the phone among all my notes and adjust my reading glasses. I don't usually wear them, but I've found that if I read and concentrate so much, my vision gets tired faster and it gives me a headache. They're old glasses that I sometimes wore in high school an
PAIGEI can't believe we have this now. Ashton has created the perfect house for the three of us, and it's three times bigger than I ever thought we could have. Ashton has earned a reputation in his field; he does good things and strives because money is something that now seems to fall from the sky for us. I don't earn nearly as much as he does, but we never argue about money. Ashton is fulfilling all my dreams."That's amazing," Jo murmurs when I give her a tour and explore a bit more. "I love it! You have an incredible fireplace in the reading nook. I wish I could live here; you're so lucky."She makes me laugh. The whole house is very modern in white, black, and gray tones; it has those large windows of wealthy homes, and I think what I like most is our private bathroom because we have a perfect round bathtub for both of us, and a shower where we also both fit, and an incredible mirror over the sink... I think everything in that bathroom is designed in a sexual way."And they just
PAIGEAshton means everything to Owen, and I have more things, but he means a lot to me too. The ease I have now for everything is thanks to him because I have a better job now, more accessibility, and I live with a little family that fills me with love, especially in those most difficult moments of exams, stress, and headaches. I think I measure my life according to what Owen does; each day he gets smarter, bigger, more polite... Except my baby.When he finally learns to ride a bike, I find them often in the building's parking lot when I return from university in the afternoon. I park my super car with a smile; I love Ashton's gift! No one had ever given me a gift like this before. I pick up my backpack from the passenger seat and carefully close the car door when I step out. Owen pedals on his little bike towards me, and I have to stop him."Watch out for Mom's new car," I remind him."How was your day?" he asks in that adorable way.I tell him everything as if he knows what I'm tal
ASHTONI know they're the best family I have as soon as I see Paige's latest thong next to my boxers. It's the first time I have auntie clothes in my closet, and it's nice to open the drawers and see the lace bras she has and those tiny thongs.And I can't deny that I'm crazy about the life my house has now; it's no longer such a dark and cold place. It feels more like a home, even though Paige spends more hours at university and working than in the apartment, and Owen now that he goes to school leaves me almost all day alone doing my architect stuff. Still, the nights feel familiar because I cook dinner for when Paige comes home, Owen "helps" me set the table every night, and we dine sharing things from the day. And in bed when we lie down... that's another world. I didn't know I could be so comfortable with anyone. And living with Paige is peaceful; we don't argue much, and she's not one of those girls who cling to me. She lets me go out with my friends, and she goes out with her an
ASHTON"Are you serious?" Apollo asks me for the fifth time.I nod.Summer has been rough. Even though Paige still works in the afternoons during the holidays, I spend most of my time with Owen, and I have to finish two jobs for the company before the vacation ends. Two samples I've already started because the upfront payment has been insanely good."Owen, no," I scold him as he tries to climb onto the TV stand. I take a sip of the beer from the pack Apollo brought. "Yeah, what's up? You've been nagging me for years to focus on life."He raises his arms and shakes his head. "I haven't said anything wrong, damn it," he laughs. "It's just that I don't see you living with Paige, or anyone for that matter. I don't think she's up for putting up with your bullshit if you're going to be messing around."I want to break his head. I've gone months without being with anyone else, only with her. Damn it, I love Paige, she's the woman for me. And now that I'm not studying anymore, now that I'll h
PAIGEAshton has to take us back to the apartment because he brought us last night, and he stays fixing Owen while I shower. Today is a nice spring day and summer is just around the corner so the weather is quite pleasant, and I dare to wear a tight green dress that covers me up to the thigh and pair it with a white long-sleeved jacket. I want to look good because it's his graduation, and he looks amazing in a black shirt he decided to wear and black jeans. It's quite simple, but it stands out, and I want to look pretty, I want him to look at me and feel good about being with me.I rush out of my room still barefoot towards the bathroom. Jo is in her pajamas watching TV and Ashton at the other end of the sofa as far away from her as possible. He looks at me over the sofa."Are you ready yet?""No!" I shout from the bathroom. "Five minutes.""Lies," I hear Jo say."Ten," I correct.I dry my hair and braid it on each side, tying it with a small band behind in a crown style. It looks goo
PAIGEWhat Ashton does to make me so happy is something I didn't expect to happen. I did want to be with him, it's something I want because I truly like him, and it seems to work much better than I expected. It's quite unique when we're alone or when we're together with Owen. He's close to graduating, and while I think it's a good option for him to work at his father's dealership despite how much he hates it, but in the face of his refusal, all I can do is help him become an architect. Today he was going to the company from the brochure I gave him, that's why he didn't wait for me outside my faculty before going to the nursery to spend time with Owen.I would like to do something if they accept him as a scholarship recipient at the company, my idea was to make a cake or something like that to have a snack together, but I don't have time, however, at one point at work I sneak away to send him a message.How did it go?Luckily there aren't many people around and I can pay more attention
PAIGEI manage to successfully dodge Samuel every time I encounter him on campus; apparently, he didn't like me that much. But it's for the best because I can't get a bad boy out of my head. I don't know if we're something, I don't know where we stand, trying to understand Ashton's emotional method is difficult. We spend time together, we go out occasionally with our friends, and many times we've had quite family-like moments with Owen, not to mention the passionate hours we've spent at his apartment, mine, and even in the car. I feel like we're something, something I dare not say because it implies too much.Plus, how am I supposed to know now that he's ignoring me? Spring break is coming, and I expected something completely different from what it's starting out to be. It's just a week, I'm not studying or working, and I really wanted to spend more time with Ashton, but things start off badly a few days before the break. We don't talk (or rather, he doesn't talk to me), he picks up O
PAIGE"Do you want to come to a market?" I dare to ask."What?"He pushes his tousled hair out of his face. We slept together again! I love it!"There's an organic market near home. I was planning to go today, do you want to come?""Do you want me to come?"I nod almost unconsciously."But I have to go to the apartment first to get his stroller. I don't think he'll walk that much, and it'll be cumbersome to carry him in our arms."Ashton nods. It's the first time we're doing something like this, it's the first time I do it with a guy and with Owen, and I'm glad it's with him because for Owen, it must be incredible to see his parents together. He doesn't let go of either of us; on the way to the car, his hand holds onto Ashton's fingers, and he has me by the sleeve of my sweater.Truth be told, I've never done an activity like this before. Ashton comes in my car; I don't mind driving that much because the trip is quite pleasant. Owen babbles from his seat, talking nonsense and playing
ASHTON"I want you to come over for dinner. Lucy and I want...""Do you want to play house? I have better things to do," I snap."It's not that, Ashton. I want to spend time with you.""And you think I want to be with you? You've never been a father.""Don't you want your son to forgive you if you mess up?"Why the hell does she have to bring Owen into this? It's about him, about what a shitty father I was."I'm not going to abandon my son.""Ashton...""I have things to do, don't call me just to mess with me."I shove the phone into my coat pocket and wait. She exits her college, books stashed in her backpack, not even looking at me, walking with her gaze fixed on the ground and in the opposite direction. I have to chase after her, touching her shoulder, and she hits me with a notebook. Her green eyes widen as she looks at me."Don't sneak up on me," she scolds, but a smile creeps onto her lips."I was waiting for you. Where are you headed?"It wouldn't matter in any other case, but