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Chapter 38
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2024-10-29 19:42:56*Cameron POV*
Everyone seems to move around me at double speed. The whole of the room is full of laughter and congratulations as the guys replay the last remaining minute of the game that led to our victory. We won. We are going to the championships. This means more practice and less time. This means a way to occupy my mind. Taking a big deep inhale I relish the pain it brings from my injury, anything to distract me from the emptiness I feel.
I close my eyes to refocus but all I can see is her face. The disappointment when she walked out of those showers towards me. The question she asked by just saying the name I had given her. One minute I had hope, the next I was watching it go up in flames. I had thought that earlier today was my lowest point. That maybe, just maybe I had suffered enough in one day that I could escape further injury. Instead, I’m in
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*Faith POV* Noah and Mia have tried relentlessly to pull me from my depressed state for a week. I didn't have the heart to talk about what happened, that Izzy was actually Cameron. Every time I thought about it I would cry. I stayed home all week from school telling mom I didn't feel good, and with how much I was sleeping I knew she believed it. But today she is forcing me to go to school. Today, I have to walk through the hallways and pretend that being there causes an unbearable ache. I come to the finish line lagging behind Mariah and Ari who are both looking back at me with concerned faces. Who knew a whole week of laying around, eating terribly, and sleeping would get me this out of shape. Geez. I can see them both waiting for me as we come closer to the weight room doors. I hesitate in my step for a moment taking a deep breath. I can do this. He w
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Mia and Noah just stare at me with crazy eyes. I can tell Mia is angry by the rigidness of her body, while Noah has taken on a more gentle concern. I know I should have filled them in sooner. I had locked myself away in my own mind by keeping them out of the loop, but if I'm being perfectly honest I was upset with them at the time. They haven't done anything to warrant my mood other than dote on each other. But I also never claimed to be of sound mind when it comes to my emotions or control of them. More than likely I also just didn't want their input on something I was sure I couldn’t explain. I’m also not positive that I had fully admitted to myself the extent of my own crush on Cameron and Izzy. How do you put into words what you can't even process in your own mind? And now here we are. Sitting in a stare-down with Mia trying to control her hurt feelings as I try to verbalize it when I know that words
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*Cameron POV* -You can call whenever you are free tonight- Faith. My phone sits in my hand as I stare at it. I can call whenever I am free. I breathe deep. I'm free now. But now I'm panicking, which is a new sensation. I've never wanted to fix something so bad. What if she doesn't believe me? It all seems so soap opera-like. Blurting out I was tricked wont work, though it's true, it's not detailed enough. And kind of sounds like a criminal on his way to prison. I run my free hand through my freshly showered hair. Shit. here goes. 3 minutes after receiving her text I hit the dial button. I'm such a sucker for her. Each and every ring feels like an eternity of torture. By the third ring I am holding my breath, squeezing my eyes shut and saying a prayer. And that's when I hear her voice. I had convinced myself
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*Faith POV* I put my phone down and wipe a stray tear from my eye. That was so much more complex than I could have ever imagined. Having a terrible parent I understand, I have one too but having one who emotionally abuses you and manipulates you for the good of only herself? That's something I can't quite wrap my head around. Camerons mother had essentially become his pimp, withholding the only thing of value from him. The only person who had ever really shown him any love. Falling back onto my bed I stare up at the little glow-in-the-dark stars and I smile softly remembering the day I put them up with dad. The dad who doted on me and told me I was his little star. The same dad who when I was sad or heartbroken over some trivial thing he would tell me it would get better and that I would get better at discerning how to do hard things. When I asked him h
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I angrily toss around in my bed as I cover my head with my pillow. The muffled sounds of yelling still permeate the flimsy cotton material as I grunt in anger throwing my blankets getting ready to throw down with whoever interrupted my excellent dream. I grab a sweater on my way out my bedroom door pounding down the stairs angrily. Mia comes to the base of the stairs looking white as a ghost and I know something is wrong. “Mia, what the hell is going on?” “I don’t know what happened,” she says tearfully. “What do you mean you don’t know what happened?” I move around her walking out the front door and following the voices. As I walk further, faster down the sidewalk I see Noah standing silently as a man berates him, hurling every curse word in the English langu
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“Everything ok?” Cameron asks as we stroll down the sidewalk heading to the movie. I turn to him, offer a smile, and nod. “Yeah, just had an eventful morning. Mia’s mom stopped by.” “The one that abandoned her?” he asks, as though searching his memory. “The one and the same. She’s a real piece of work.” “Think she could give my mom a run for her money?” he jibs. “I think she would probably enjoy trying,” I laugh out loud. We approach the ticket booth and Cameron grabs our tickets while I slip away, claiming the need to use the restroom so I can buy us the popcorn. Right as I’m about to pay, a hand takes hold of mine, a tingle of warm heat running along my arm, as he moves it and places his money in the concession worker’s hand. I put my money away. Sighing heavily as he leans down and whispers in my ear. “I have been waiting to take you on a date for far too long. You are not paying for a single thing.” H
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“Ok then start.” I declare. She turns to look at dad who is refusing to make eye contact with me. “Now please!” Cameron's hand runs the length of my forearm, finding my hand and entwining his finger with mine. I shy away, gently untangling our fingers and pulling my hands to my chest. I know he only wants to support me, but right now I’m feeling lost in my mind, and I need to be there alone to process everything. He doesn’t give up as he takes a step closer to me; he doesn’t reach out to touch me but I can feel his presence and it helps calm me. Looking over my shoulder at him, he offers me a sweet smile of encouragement, and I match him with my own sad smile of thanks. Mom’s sigh captures my attention, and I look to see her focusing on the tiled floor, her face full of guilt. A sarcastic laugh leaves my throat while I wait for an answer that seems to be stuck between us all. The tension is thick, almost suffocating, and I’m
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“I saw it.” Noah rushes out “Witnessed him hurting you. I tried to protect you, threatened him, and told him if he didn’t stop I would hurt him. But I was a kid, Faith. I didn’t know what to do. Who would believe me when you always appeared so perfect and happy all the time?” The only thing I can do is stand and stare. There is no one emotion that can embody my feeling of just complete emotional defeat. All these lies of omission eventually added up. Building until it grew so big it all just explodes at one momentous occasion in my kitchen. “I-I told him he wasn’t a man. That he was a lowlife for hitting a child and that no wonder your mom was sleeping with my dad. Because at least he was a real man.” Noah is talking fast, hands flying about in a frenzied state, trying to drive his explanations home. I close my eyes tight, shaking my head, willing my mind to wrap itself around what the hell is happening. Did my mom really ha
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Warm water trickles down my leg as another contraction squeezes my insides in an invisible vice grip. I groan loudly, clutching the counter and leaning over. I hear a clattering beside me and I look over, seeing Izzy holding his little stuffed puppy, his eyes wide in fear. He looks so much like Cameron right now. I smile through the pain as he tentatively steps closer. “Mommy, you peeped your pants on the floor?” he asks in his sweet 3-year-old voice and I chuckle. “No baby, mommy is going to have a baby. Do you know where mommy’s phone is?” I ask, hoping he might remember where I had it last since I never can recall these days where I put anything. “Um. Yep!” His tiny little legs work hard as he runs out of the bathroom and bangs around in the living room. “Iz. Izzy?” I call to him. “Yeah, mommy?” “Did you find it?” He walks into the bathroom, holding my phone, and I nearly fall over with rel
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4 years later, *Cameron POV* I wipe my sweaty palms on my khaki pants. Faith’s name rings through the speaker system and a single graduation cap rises from the sea of green as she makes her way to the stage. Noah and I jump to our feet, screaming and cheering for her. It doesn’t matter to me that every man and woman graduating is wearing the same robes and hat. My Faith looks a thousand times better than all of them. Her auburn hair shimmers in the sunlight as she climbs the stairs, a stunning, excited smile on her perfect face. There is no doubt in my mind that this woman is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. She shakes the dean’s hand and pauses for a minute while photos are snapped. Noah and I take our seats and he leans over to me anxiously. “Ok, dude. I’m freaking out for you,” he whispers. I shoot him a scowl, and he just chuckles and shrugs. Noah and I quickly became good friends and then, as fate wou
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*4 months later* * Faith POV* “Come on, Faith!” Cameron shouts “Run faster!” Mia screeches “Yeah, pretend Mia is coming for you!” Noah adds. I can hear an oof from him, which makes me smile, knowing Mia probably whacked him. I try to tune them out as I run by them on my last lap, hurtling towards the finish line. I need to hone in and focus. Currently, I’m sitting in second place with Mariah right on my heels. My heart is racing with the sheer adrenaline of the race and my legs are exhausted. They feel like jello but I push harder, faster than I have ever gone before. Little by little, I gain on the girl in front of me. Each step vibrates through my leg, pulling me closer to my last victory.
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“Do you guys think it's stupid of me to keep doing family therapy?” I ask Mia, Noah, and Cameron. They all look around at each other, waiting for someone to talk. “That’s up to you,” Mia says. “If you think you need to do it to get the closure you need, then I think it’s exactly what you need,” “You have to remember that you are un-hashing a lot of heavy stuff. You are reopening old wounds so that you can heal appropriately. It’s going to be tough in the beginning.” Noah adds. “You said Uncle John is back to actually showing up, right?” Mia asks, and I nod. I forgot how long it’s been since we’ve sat and had a serious conversation about it all since she spends most of her time with Noah and I’ve been busy with Cameron. “Did he give a good excuse?” Cameron asks. “He went back to visit his AA mentor and talk about everything. His mentor helped him find a therapist here and Dad claims he is going daily now.” I say, sh
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*Faith POV* The car idles as I sit and stare at the garage door. A stray tear slowly weaves its way down my cheek as I swipe at it furiously. I hate feeling like this. My therapist keeps telling me that healing is a process and even when I ‘heal’ I’ll still have moments when I’m not ok. And today I’m not ok. I feel emotionally drained, and all I want to do is sleep for days. I hate these scars that make me feel so ugly and imperfect. I have done so well compartmentalizing all my shit so I could help and be there for Cameron. And it felt amazing to do that. I regret nothing. But now I’m being bowled over by my own insecurities and internal pain and I feel so alone. I have people I can call who would be here in a moment for me. But I feel terrible for bothering them with my sob stories. Mia called me the moment I left Cameron his food to ask if we could reschedule our girls-only night. Of course, I said yes. She is in love and happy
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The arcade is bustling and the sounds of the games surrounding me remind me just how alive and vibrant this place is. I sit at one of the tables towards the back with a now cold pepperoni pizza as I watch everyone move around me. A young girl is crying because she lost the game while her older brother chuckles and tries to console her. The boy to the left sits at the table drinking his soda while being engrossed in some random comic strip in his hand. I look to the center of the store and I swear I can see her. Standing there in front of a young boy who looks just like me. I blink back the burn of tears, letting the memory play itself out before me as if it’s a movie of my life. “Oh, my sweet little Izzy. I promise the machines are clean,” she assures me with a sweet smile. & year old me just smiles in excitement. “Shouldn’t I be at school?” ten-year-old me asked her. “Not today. Today we are celebrating yo
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“How’s Edith?” Noah asks as he walks up to Faith and me. It’s been a few days since her stroke and there still isn’t much change. Though she woke up, she still looks like she is not completely there and it’s slowly killing me inside. “She’s hanging on.” Faith answers for me, entwining our hands and offering me a supportive smile. “Well, that’s good to hear,” Noah says, trying to make conversation as he sits at our lunch table. I like Noah. He seems to be a genuine guy who thinks the world of his two best friends. Who doesn’t respect a guy who can put up with two polar opposite girls at the same time? Ever since the time we all hung out in Faith and Mia’s living room, he and I have had a new mutual respect for one another. One that I am certain will grow into a wonderful friendship. Which is refreshing since I really only have Faith. Being the popular guy comes with a lot of things, one of them being lots of acquaintances but no
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Each blip on the monitor is a reminder that she is still here, still fighting. It’s been a whirlwind since we arrived. Flurries of medical personnel bustle in and out checking vitals, changing liquids, offering water for Faith, dad, and me. She had a stroke, that’s what the doctor said. He said extreme stress brought it on. I rode here with her in the ambulance. I just knew she would wake up if I left her alone for even a minute, and I couldn’t miss that. Yet she still hasn’t opened her eyes or even squeezed my hand. I know she will recover. It doesn’t take a medical genius to know that she is just too amazing to leave me. She would never do that to me. Faith walks up behind me and snakes her hands over my shoulder, hugging my back and giving me a kiss on the cheek. “Hey, how are you doing?” she whispers. The heat of her breath tickles my ears as I turn slightly to see her face. She looks exhausted and stunning. How
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“Well then, I will find a job and buy us a double-wide to live in,” Dad smirks. I choke on my laugh when her face falls, and she grows pale. “Fine. I’ll sign them and go to John.” She says. It’s blatantly obvious that she is trying to get a rise out of my father, but the only reaction she gets is a bark of laughter from Faith. “My dad?” Faith is trying to contain her laughter while my mother grows red with anger. “I’m sorry. You think he wants you after you tried to destroy him by getting him addicted to drugs?” “Woah, what!” I look at my mom as she stands looking guilty. Now it’s my Father’s turn to turn red with anger. “You gave him drugs?” My father says, his voice rising as it echoes through the house.”
