Chapter 3

 Sometimes in life we always have the desire of aiming something we couldn't have. That's why half of us hoping that someday we can finally have and own it.

In life, we love unconditionally. We dream like we will going to die if we can't achieve it. That's why some of us sacrifice things in life just to have it and became so desperate.

But in Sashi's belief, she will never going to be one of them. She will try but if it's not for her, she won't insist. If she'll noticed that's it's making her bad or toxic, she will going to distance herself from that thing.

Sashi grabbed her phone, it is still early in the morning. She forgot her schedule today. Is she going to visit in the hospital? But there's an activity at school that she need to attend.

She texted Adam, Clark's brother that she can't make it today because she need to be present at school. Luckily Adam said it's fine, in fact they are both okay now. Adam and even Clark's mother already said sorry to her for blaming her. 

It's been almost a month since the accident happened. Sashi wants to cry everyday everytime she's seeing her best friend's poor body lying in the bed. 

She's so busy at school lately so that she can't visit Clark more often.

"But at least I'm here. I am Clark too, but a..ghost." 

Sashi rolled her eyes as she stared at her reflection in the mirror.

She don't know but it's kind of fun whenever she's with this ghost. At least this ghost is not giving her hopes, but still she can't deny that she can't stop herself but to stare. She can't believe herself, even if it's just a ghost, she's still simping for him.

"If I can only remember everything. We really need to hurry." The ghost Calrk added.

"Yeah, then do something to that annoying department store who didn't even bother to give the footages of their camera's on that area where your car crashed." Sashi said, continuing from brushing her hair.

The ghost Clark pouted sadly.

Yeah, it's been two weeks since they are pursuing that department store to give them a copy of their footages near the street where Clark's accident happened.

Sashi also tried to ask the police but of course they are not allowing her because it's Clark's family who is processing the case.

She's scared to tell Clark's parents that it's not just an accident but a murder. She could not believe it either. But there's a part of her that wants to try, because she's hoping.

It's been also a month since she met this ghost Clark.

"I think, if we can't convince them through kindness and generosity, then we will get it secretly." 

Sashi raised her brows hearing the ghost Clark's idea. No, they should not do it. 

People could see her but this ghost is invisible from human's eyes except her.

''Shut it Clark, it will put us in danger, I mean it will put me in danger because no one could see you, tsk." Sashi exclaimed but the ghost Clark just gave her a smirked.

"Trust me, I will find ways. For now let me go with you at school."  He said then smiled widely.

"What? Don't follow me at school!" She exclaimed. 

"Why? It's my school too. I am also studying there, right?" He asked but Sashi only rolled her eyes.

"Yes, but you can't attend classes, anyway." She reason out while gathering her things.

Clark pouted while crossing his arms.

"Okay, you will go with me, but promise me that you will behave." 

Sashi need to attend a school practice because of some events for their school. She doesn't have any choice because it's for her grades and even if she wants to watch after Clark in the hospital, she can't.

"What are you thinking, huh?" Clark ask as he sat beside her.

Sashi sitting in a bleacher near the covered court. She's taking some rest because it's their break time from the practice.

"Why are you asking, huh?" She replied sarcastically.

Clark about to strike a word again when Sashi saw Gab walking towards her.

Gab waved to her and immediately run on her direction.

"Who's that boy?" Clark ask but Sashi just ignored her.

"Are you done with the practice?" Gab asked.

"Isn't it obvious? So dumb." Clark muttered reason why Sashi gave him a glare.

"Shut up, Clark." She said before facing Gab in front of her.

"What?" Gab brows furrowed. 

Sashi immediately shake her head.

"No, nothing. Yeah, I'm done." She stuttered while trying to suppressed the urge of looking back from Clark who's still standing behind her.

"Can I invite you? Let's eat together for lunch. I will treat you." Gab said.

"No she can't go with you asshole." 

Sashi almost forget that Clark is a ghost. She wanted to scold him right now but Gab will find it weird if he saw her talking alone because he can't even see Clark, his a ghost.

"Okay Gab. Can you wait there, I will going to change first." Sashi explained as she pointed the entrance of the covered court.

Gab nodded and immediately follow what she said with all of his heart, maybe he's happy because Sashi barely entertain suitors. Yeah, suitor. Gab is trying to court her since when they were in highschool until now that they're already in college. But Sashi kept on refusing because he doesn't like the guy.

She immediately face Clark behind her, confused and irritated.

"Listen to me Clark. Whenever you're with me, please fucking shut your mouth, okay? Plus, don't say anything that will force me to answer coz they might find it weird." She exclaimed as she tried to lower her voice.

Clark rolled his eyes and trying to make a face. 

"You know what if I can touch you, I will punch you in the face." She added before walking away.

After changing her clothes, Sashi immediately find Gab, she doesn't want to make him wait. She wants to be friends with him after all.

"Sorry, did I make you wait?" She asked but Gab joyful faced remained just like earlier.

"No, it's fine."

"Of course it's fine, how annoying."

Sashi almost drop her jaw when the ghost Clark appeared beside her. It feels like Gab could hear it even if she knows he can't.

"What's wrong?" Gab asked because of Sashi's sudden changed of expression.

"Nothing, I think we should go now." 

The lunch went well. Gab always ask her about Clark's accident, maybe also curious about what happened.

"Well, he's fine now, he will wake up. I claim that. " Sashi said when Gab ask her about Clark's accident.

"You two are pretty close, right?" Gab asked her again while putting some foods on her plate.

"Yeah, he's my childhood buddy. He's more than a family to me." 

Sashi want to end the topic so bad coz it feels like she will cry in front of him anytime if it will continue this way.

Sashi, somehow enjoyed the lunch with Gab. It's nice to know that she still have friends who is willing to comfort her.

After the lunch they both go back to their classroom but Sashi's mood darkened now. She remembered Clark's accident again. She's still mad about herself. She regret of not talking to him. She regret everything.

The ghost Clark didn't appear again until she got home. She can feel the loneliness again. 

Sashi immediately wiped her tears as she opened her laptop. She want to forget everything even if just this time.

She open the folder of her laptop that full of her videos together with Clark when they were in highschool until when they started college.

She played the first video and started to watch it.

Sashi is walking in the video. She's about to open her room's door when Clark pulled her hands. 

She remembered that day. It's her birthday and she's sulking because Clark didn't give her a gift until the party ended.

Adam, Clark's brother is the one who's filming the scene and Sashi kept pushing him because she can felt the pain on her eyes from the flash of the camera.

The visitors already gone but even if Sashi received a lot of gifts she's still sulking because Clark didn't give her one. It's her debut, for Pete's sake!

Sashi smiled as she continued watching the video. It was so nostalgic.

She paused the video to wiped her tears again and click it again to play.

"Why are you so mad at me, Sash. You received a lot of gifts. Why is it a big deal to you that I forgot to buy?" Clark said in the video, chuckling and very pleased because of her reaction.

"Shut up Clark! Go home! I'm not mad and I didn't say a thing. It's just my debut so it's not really a big deal to you. It was just your best friends birthday." She exclaimed as she entered her room.

Clark was laughing while Adam is still filming him. They're both laughing in the video.

After a few minutes the 18 year old Sashi scream in the video and immediately opened the door.

"Clarkkkyy!!" 

"What the hell!" She muttered curses in the video before jumping because happiness as she hugged Clark in the video.

"What?" Clark chuckled while carrying her so she immediately hit his shoulder to put her down.

Clark bought a complete series of her favorite book. It's her dream to buy it but she couldn't because she's trying to save money that time.

She really thought that he didn't brought any gift for her. She's so happy that time.

"C'mon I won't forget to buy you a gift. How can I forget it?" Clark said while Sashi's still hugging him.

"I will really going to ignore you for years if you really did forgot my gift!" She pouted then entered the room again to get the nine pieces of books that Clark bought for her.

"In fact, Clark bought that two weeks ago before your birthday, big sis!" Adam said but Clark immediately grabbed the camera from him.

"Damn, this kid's exposing me, so nosy."

That's video ended and Sashi can't help but to reminisce everything.

"That's pretty cute." 

Sashi jumped in amusement when she realized that the ghost Clark is behind her.

"Damn, you startled me!" 

Sashi exclaimed but the ghost Clark remained so serious as he stared at Sashi.

"You really want me to wake up already, right?" He said.

Sashi stiffened. Yes, she want him to wake up so bad! She missed him so much.

She heaved a sigh before going back from her position earlier.

She's sitting in the floor near her bed while putting the laptop in the top of her lap.

She leaned herself from the bed where the ghost Clark is sitting, watching her play some old videos of them together.

She clicked the play button. The video started playing too.

It seems like Sashi is holding the camera while trying to film Clark.

"What are you doing? You are ignoring me for almost three hours, Sash. Then your going to show up in front of me filming me with that camera." Clark said in the video before licking his lip and his reaction turned into a serious one.

"No, I'm just going to give this to Ana, she have a crush on you. We're friends so...trying to ship you with her." Sashi answered as she tried to zoom Clark's face in.

"What the-! Stop shipping me with someone else. Come here, taste this, I ask Mom to bake some cookies for you."

The video ended again and Sashi couldn't suppress her tears anymore. She already sobbing.

"I miss you, Clarkky." She whispered.

"You became a ghost but I can't even touch you, it's no use." She sobbed again but she's still trying to lower her voice.

"Damn, why the world let an angel cry like this." Said the ghost Clark behind her.

Sashi slowly lifted her gaze to see the ghost Clark's face. She wiped her tears and stand in front of him.

"Can you go back already, huh? Why the world is so cruel to me? I didn't even ask too much when you're still awake and always letting you go! Isn't that enough, huh? Please go back. Go back." 

Clark wants to go back too, so bad, but he can't yet. He can't.