The salt of my tears has dried, leaving a gritty residue on my cheeks. Hours. Or was it days? Time has lost all meaning, a blurry, distorted echo in the empty cavern of my bedroom. My eyes are swollen, heavy, and the constant ache in my chest has settled into a dull, persistent throb. I'm empty, hollowed out. I can't stay here. The walls are closing in, each surface a mirror reflecting the broken pieces of myself. I need air, I need…something. Anything. I push myself up, my legs shaky and unsteady. The maids cluster around me as I head for the door. "Madam, where are you going?" Their voices are a soft, concerned chorus, but I can't bring myself to answer. I just shake my head and walk away, the click of my heels on the marble a sharp, defiant sound. The car is a cold, metallic comfort. I drive, not knowing where I’m going, just needing to move, to escape the suffocating stillness of my apartment. I find myself by the sea, the rhythmic crash of the waves a constant, soothing pulse.
The café was quiet, the sound of distant chatter barely reaching our corner table. Rola sat across from me, her fingers tracing the rim of her cup, her eyes guarded but not unkind. My chest tightened. I had rehearsed this moment in my head a dozen times, but now that it was here, the words felt heavy. "I’m not ready to leave him," I admitted, the confession spilling out before I could soften it. Her gaze flickered up, surprise flashing in her eyes. "My heart is still… attached. But I can’t ignore the way things have been." Rola exhaled slowly, her shoulders relaxing just a fraction. "Then why are you here, Dema?" "Because I need to understand," I said, leaning forward. "I need to hear your side—what really happened between you and Rami. Why you broke the engagement." My voice wavered, but I held her stare. "If there’s anything I can do to change him, I want to try. But I need to know if you're willing to help me." The silence stretched between us, thick with unspoken words. Fo
Rola and I were silent. We had agreed to work together, but the awkwardness of the situation was still pressing on us.After a few minutes I finally had the courage to break the silence, I said "I never had anyone before him, Rola. No family, no love—nothing. Rami was the first person who made me feel like I mattered. He gave me things I never even dreamed of having... not money, but the way he showed me the world. Made me believe I was worth something." My voice cracks, and I press a hand to my chest, like I can physically hold the ache inside. "That’s why I can’t just walk away. He’s my first love—my only love. But every lie he tells me feels like a knife twisting deeper. And now... now I keep wondering if there’s more. If he’s cheating, if he ever really loved me at all." A bitter laugh escapes me. "It’s driving me insane, Rola. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep—I just keep replaying everything in my head. And I know... I know I have to end this. Because if I don’t, he’s going to des
The door clicked shut behind me, sealing away Rola’s words, her promises, her plan. The air in our home felt heavier now, thick with the weight of what I had just agreed to. Or maybe it was just the silence—the kind that settles when you stop fighting. I kicked off my shoes, not bothering to line them . The old me would’ve cared. The old me would’ve smoothed her hair, touched up her lipstick, made sure my bedroom smelled like lavender instead of the smell of chips that I had last night. But that woman was fading, peeling away like old paint. Rami was on the couch, his fingers tapping against his phone, the glow of the screen reflecting in his tired eyes. He didn’t look up when I walked in. Good. Less effort for me. I grabbed a bag of chips from the cupboard, the crinkling sound too loud in the quiet. I didn’t care if it was noon or midnight. I didn’t care if he wrinkled his nose at the smell of salt and grease. Let him. “You’re eating that now?” he finally asked, his voice fla
I walked into the office today in clothes I wouldn’t normally wear to work—an oversized coat, simple blouse underneath, flowy pants, and flat shoes instead of my usual heels. My hair wasn’t perfectly styled, probably a bit greasy, and my face was bare. No makeup. No effort. Not that anyone would dare comment on it. I settled into my chair and mechanically started reviewing reports, replying to emails, drafting responses—anything to keep my mind occupied. The work was a welcome distraction, something solid to focus on instead of the mess inside my head. Then Karim, the team leader, knocked on my door. He looked tense. "Three people called in sick today," he said, rubbing his temple. "The workload is overwhelming. I don’t know if we can handle it." I barely hesitated. "It’s fine. I’ll take their place." His eyebrows shot up. I wasn’t the type to step in like that—not directly, not like some hands-on manager. But today, I needed this. I needed to drown in something other than m
The library was quiet, the way I liked it—just the soft rustle of pages turning from the wind coming from the big open windows and the faint scent of old books surrounding me. I had told Tala earlier that I needed the entire day to study, to revise what I’d learned in college about business and economic science. No distractions. No interruptions. She had nodded, understanding, and left me alone with my thoughts and my books. Hours passed, the words blurring together as I flipped through case studies and theories. My stomach growled, a sharp reminder that I hadn’t eaten since breakfast. I leaned back in my chair, stretching my stiff shoulders, and glanced at the clock. Late afternoon already. A craving hit me then—one I’d been suppressing for months. That burger sandwich from the new restaurant downtown, the one with the golden brioche bun and thick, juicy patty I’d seen advertised everywhere. I had resisted, of course. Because of the diet. Because I wanted to stay fit for him. But
I stared at my phone after Bayan walked out, my fingers trembling as I dialed Rola’s number. The moment she answered, my voice came out sharp, accusing. "Why did you tell Bayan? I thought you were helping me, not messing with me!"Rola sighed on the other end, her tone annoyingly calm. "Dema, if you really want to break Rami’s cycle of cheating, you have to be brave. Bayan can help us—she’s been through this before."I clenched my jaw, frustration bubbling up. "Bayan is obviously up to something! She’s not here to help—she just wants to mess with me!""You don’t even know her,"Rola shot back. "You only met her once. How can you be so sure?" I fell silent, my chest tight. She was right—I didn’t know Bayan. But something about her, the way she looked at me, like she already held all the cards… it set me on edge. "You should at least hear her side of the story before you make up your mind about her." She added.Finally, I let out a slow breath. "Fine. I’ll… think about it. I’ll call
I couldn’t stay in that mansion for even another second. Not after what I’d just found out. The maids who I considered my friends—had been lying to me this whole time. And Tala…Ya Allah , Tala. I thought she was different. I thought she was the first real friend I’d ever had. But no. Just another person playing a role, pretending to care. My hands clenched the steering wheel so tight my knuckles turned white. I didn’t even know where I was going. Just away. Away from the lies, away from the betrayal, away from the suffocating walls of that house that had never truly been a home. The road blurred in front of me, tears burning my eyes. I swiped at them angrily. Why did I keep letting myself believe things could be different? That people could be different? I drove until my head started spinning, until the weight in my chest made it hard to breathe. Finally, I pulled over near some public park—I didn’t even know which one. The engine cut, and silence rushed in, heavy and suffocat
The pain is unbearable. It’s been a whole day since my water broke, and still, nothing. My body is shaking, drenched in sweat, my muscles screaming in protest with every contraction. The nurses hover around me, their faces tight with worry. I hear them whispering to my mother-in-law—something about a c-section. No. I don’t want that. I wanted to do this naturally. I wanted to be strong. But I’m not strong anymore. I’m broken. My mother-in-law tells them to wait. Just one more hour, she says. Maybe I’ll push through. Maybe my body will finally listen. The hour passes in a blur of agony. I’m so tired. My vision swims, the edges darkening. I can’t—I can’t do this anymore. My limbs feel like lead, my breath coming in shallow gasps. I’m slipping. My head hearts even more than my body. Then I hear a voice. It was Soft but firm. Telling me to be strong. I could feel a hand gripping mine, warm and steady. "Be brave, Dema. You can do this." I don’t know who it is—maybe my mother in l
I sigh, tossing my phone onto the couch beside me. Another dull afternoon trapped inside. The walls feel like they’re closing in on me, but what can I do? The doctor said no unnecessary outings, no stress—just rest. Rest. Like I haven’t been resting for months already. My fingers drum against my swollen belly, frustration simmering beneath my skin. I reach for the remote, flipping through channels mindlessly. Nothing holds my attention. Just stupid talk shows and reruns of dramas I’ve already seen. Then—I got a message. A message from Rola. I grab my phone, grateful for any distraction. It’s a video. Probably some gossip or event she’s at, rubbing it in that she’s out there living while I’m stuck here like a prisoner in my own home. I tap the screen, and the video loads. It’s some commercial event—flashy lights, cameras, people dressed to impress. And there he is. My Rami. My lips twitch into a small smile at first. He looks good, confident, charming the crowd like always. I s
A sharp pain jolts me awake, my breath catching in my throat. I clutch my swollen belly, waiting—hoping—for it to fade. But then another one comes, tighter this time, and panic prickles under my skin. Is this it? I fumble for my phone, hands trembling as I dial Rami first. He answers on the third ring, voice thick with sleep. "Dema? What's wrong?" "I—I think it's happening," I whisper, my throat tight. I can almost hear him springing out of bed. "I'm coming right now. Call my mother." The next call is a blur—my mother-in-law's calm voice cutting through my fear, promising she'll be here soon. By the time I hang up, sweat beads at my temples. She arrives before Rami does, her steady hands guiding me to sit while she calls an ambulance. "Better safe than sorry," she murmurs, smoothing my hair back. The ride to the hospital is a haze of contractions and nervous breaths. Rami meets us there, his face pale, his grip crushing my fingers as the doctors check me. Then—the verdict
The car ride to the doctor’s office is quiet, but Rami’s fingers keep tapping against the steering wheel—a nervous habit. I glance at him, amused. "You’re more nervous than I am," I say, resting a hand on his arm. "Relax. It’s just a check-up." He exhales sharply, gripping the wheel tighter. "I know, I know. But I’ve never seen the baby before." I smile, squeezing his arm. "You’ll love it." When we get called in, Rami’s leg won’t stop bouncing as I lie back on the exam table. The doctor spreads the cold gel over my stomach, and Rami leans forward, eyes locked on the screen. Then—there it is. A tiny, flickering heartbeat. A little blur of limbs, curled up safe inside me. "Everything looks perfect," the doctor says, smiling. I was relieved. I was worried because I haven't been sleeping well lately so I thought it might affect the baby. But when I turn to Rami, his eyes are glistening. His lips press together, trembling, and then—tears. Actual tears rolling down his face.
The mall was buzzing with energy, the kind that usually overwhelmed me, but today, it felt different. Today, every pastel-colored onesie, every tiny pair of socks, every frilly little dress made my heart swell. I’m having a girl. The thought still sent shivers of joy down my spine. Dalia held up a miniature sunhat with a giggle. “Look at this! She’s going to be the most stylish baby in the city.” Tala, ever the practical one, nudged me toward a rack of soft cotton bodysuits. “You need basics too, habibti. She’ll live in these.” I ran my fingers over the tiny fabric, imagining my daughter—my daughter*—wearing them. It still didn’t feel real. After everything, after all the fear and uncertainty, here I was, surrounded by love, preparing for her. “We should start planning the baby shower,” Dalia said, already scrolling through her phone. “Think pink and gold? Or more floral?” I laughed, shaking my head. “As long as there’s good food, I don’t care.” Tala smirked. “Spoken like
Four months have passed, and the nursery is almost ready—soft yellow walls, tiny clothes folded neatly in the drawers, and a bassinet waiting for our little one. Rami and I sit on the couch, a baby name book spread across my lap. His arm is draped over my shoulder, his fingers absently tracing circles on my skin. "Malik is strong," he says, pointing at the name. "But Leen… that’s beautiful too." I smile, leaning into him. "We still have time to decide, besides, we don't know whether it's a boy or a girl." He sighs, shifting slightly. "Dema… I’ve been thinking." His voice is quieter now, serious. "I want to make more time for you. For the baby. I’ve been spending time at work too much during our marriage, and I stay out too late… that's going to change now." My chest tightens—hope, relief, disbelief all tangled together. "That’s… great news, Rami." He turns to me, eyes earnest. "I mean it. I promise—I’m going to be a good husband. A good father." The words are sweet, but I’
The weekend had been slow and lazy until Rami, out of nowhere, decided to be a good husband—his words, not mine—and announced we were going out. No warning, just that smirk of his, the one that always makes my stomach flip. “A museum?” I raised an eyebrow as we walked through the grand entrance, the cool air brushing against my skin. “Since when do you plan dates?” He shrugged, all casual confidence. “Since I realized my wife deserves more than just my charming presence on the couch.” I rolled my eyes but couldn’t fight the smile tugging at my lips. Then—of course—Rami had to show off. The moment we stepped into the history exhibit, he transformed into a walking encyclopedia, pointing at artifacts like he’d personally excavated them. His voice dropped into that lecture tone, the one he uses when he’s trying to sound scholarly but can’t hide the excitement underneath. “See this?” He gestured to an ancient tablet, his fingers barely grazing the glass. “This is from the Neo-Ass
The invitation was sent to me this morning. Family dinner at Auntie’s. I picked it up, my fingers tightening around the edge. Rami’s aunt was hosting—again—this time to celebrate her husband’s return from Haj. A noble reason, sure. But I knew better. Family gatherings were never just gatherings. They were battlegrounds disguised in elaborate dishes and sweetened with dessert. The aunties would be there, perched on the sofas like judges, their eyes sharp, their tongues sharper. And now? Now that I was pregnant? Oh, they wouldn’t spare me. I sighed, pressing a hand to my stomach. You have no idea what you’re in for, my little one. Rami walked in, grinning. "Auntie called. She’s making your favorite maqluba." I shot him a look. "She’s buttering me up. That means she’s planning something." He laughed, kissing my forehead. "You’re paranoid. It’s just dinner." Just dinner! Famous last words. The moment we stepped into Auntie’s house, the assault began. "Dema, habibti! Look a
I took a deep breath, trying to push away all the stress, all the noise in my head. Right now, the only thing that mattered was the little life growing inside me. My baby. My fingers brushed over my stomach, still flat, still unchanged—but I knew. In there, something precious was beginning. My mother-in-law had insisted on taking me to the doctor today. She fussed over me like I was made of glass, her grip firm on my arm as we walked into the clinic. The doctor was kind, reassuring. "She's four weeks along. Good health. No problems so far." The words should have comforted me, and they did—mostly. But there was still that tiny, nagging fear, the one I refused to let take root. "Just keep coming for check-ups," the doctor had said. "Everything looks fine but we need to keep an eye on her."On the way home, my mother-in-law turned to me with that smile—the one that wasn’t really a request. "I’d love to have you over for lunch,"she said. "I’ll cook something special for you and the b