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Thirty-one: painted in red and blue
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2024-10-29 19:42:56Related chapters
A Thousand Lies Thirty-two: Cement walls
Temperance Anxiety. My anxiety can go from one to ten in a matter of seconds. One minute I can be fine. The next, I'm on the ground shaking, trying to get the oxygen into my lungs. Anxiety is like a monster. It's a monster that doesn't go away. It's a monster that attacks you whenever it wants because it doesn't care about what you think. I say I need to go to the restroom for stomach problems. It's not the stomach problems everyone is thinking about. It's the anxiety making my stomach churn. Making me fall to the ground holding my stomach while I break out into a cold sweat, rocking back and forth on the ground. My heart feels like it's going to burst... it's all I worry about. Wondering if it's going to explode inside my chest and kill me slowly because it's beating so fast. Because it hurts so much. It's the thing that causes me to lose my breath and causes me not to form a simple word. It could be wonderful. Then the anxiety knocks on my door. I stay quiet, so it won't kno
A Thousand Lies Thirty-three: A new place
Temperance "Who the fuck Is this?" My heart drops as I hear a booming voice. I turn around and come face to face with a large man that has features like my father. A young woman stands behind him. "Th-this is Temperance. Your niece." Kenli speaks up. I can tell she is afraid. My palms begin to sweat as I start shaking. My heart is thumping in my ears. Chris grabs my sweaty palm and squeezes it. He's like the big brother I've always wanted. The big brother I've always dreamed of having. Even though I barely knew him, I felt this sort of connection with him. Like I can count on him to protect me. Then my mind falls back to Alec. I miss him so much. My heart aches without him. I want to be with him in his arms. The man snaps in my face focusing my attention back on him. "I'm Austin. You will address me as 'sir'; if you forget, you will be punished. This is Vicki, my wife. You will address her as 'ma'am'." Austin's tone is harsh. He meant what he said. "Explain the rest of the
A Thousand Lies Thirty-four: Something's off
Temperance Excitement fills my body as soon as Alec comes into view. He couldn't take me to school this morning because of something that happened with his gang. I had to walk to school. I jump in his arms, and he holds me tightly. Several people stare at us, their eyes filled with judgment. He places my feet firmly on the ground, his hands cupping my cheeks. "Did they hurt you? Are you ok? What's been happening?" His eyes are filled with worry. "I-I'm fine. Don't worry." I haven't had any fists fly at me yet but my mental health is something to worry about. Panic attacks are frequent and when they aren't happening I'm laying down staring into space. I can't do anything about it, though. I can't tell him. Or really anyone. Maybe one day I'll be able to get a therapist or something like that. I can't imagine myself opening up to someone who could judge me though. If I got a therapist they would think I'm disgusting from things that have happened to me. He hands me a backpack
A Thousand Lies Thirty-five: familiar pain
TemperanceNervously, I drop my backpack on the mattress I sleep on and then make my way into the living room.In desolation, I process his harsh words.I will be going somewhere else for my school. My current school is too far from here for me to continue attending."I have to go somewhere else? I like the school I go to now." I don't like the school per say, I only like the friends I have.Austin turns towards me, wrapping his fingers around my wrist. I bite my tongue as his fingers press into my cuts."S-stop that hurts!" I desperately try to pry his hand off of mine.I feel a rip in my arms, signaling that my cuts have ripped open. I watch in horror as blood seeps through my sleeves. My sleeves aren't thick enough to hold the blood, causing the warm liquid to smudge onto Austin's calloused hand.He lets go of my wrist in disgust and brings his hand with my blood on it to my face. He yanks his hand away from me, studying the liquid on his palm. He glances at me, extending his hand
A Thousand Lies Thirty-six: surrounded by strangers
Temperance "No offense but what kind of name is Temperance? I mean it's pretty... it's just odd." A body appears next to me, bumping their shoulder into mine. With furrowed brows, I look up at the culprit who has ruined my focus on keeping myself from wobbling. A girl stands beside me, she's tall so she looks down at me. She gives me a small smile, not making any effort to get out of my bubble. It's my first day at this damned school and I already have someone bothering me. "How do you know my name?" I question, not remembering her face from either of my first classes. "My friend shares the first block with you." She tilts her head, moving a hair out of my face. I pull my head back, my back hitting the lockers behind me. I wince in pain as her arms extend for me, ready to yank me away from the lockers. "Are you ok?" She asks me as I swat her hand away from me. "Why are you talking to me so early? Can't you see I'm upset by your presence?" I can't help my outburst, the irritatio
A Thousand Lies Thirty-seven: survival
TemperanceA month has passed since I was forced to leave Riverblossom high school.Since my departure, I haven't seen any of my friends. It's been a month since I've spoken to anyone aside from Chris and Kenli.I have no friends in this place. I'm alone like I did a 180. My luck has to be rotten. How can I be back to how I was before I met Alec? It's as if I went back in time.Sometimes I contemplate if my meeting with Alec was real or not. Were the happiest months of my life an illusion?Even if it was, my want for freedom is strong. I cant make anymore friends in a place I won't stay at forever. Even if everyone I had met a few months ago was an illusion, I can still have my false memories to lean on.When I first got to this school several people tried to talk to me. I would give dry responses to their attempts at befriending me. When they gave up I returned to solitude. I guess it's my fault that I'm alone now.The only thing I can be thankful for is the fact that there isn't Sab
A Thousand Lies Thirty-eight: The form
TemperanceI sit at my usual desk at school, in the back. And wait for the teacher. I adjust in my seat as the teacher walks in with a stack of papers.With a sigh I lay my head down on my desk, closing my tired eyes."Alright, class. So some exciting news. The school will be taking a weekend-long field trip. Partnering with two other school districts." I listen to Mrs. Trevors go on about a trip I probably won't go on.I lift my head back up like a sheet of paper lands on my desk.The info for the field trip and the signatures.Fairview high school is proud to announce that we will be hosting a field trip with our two partnering school districts, Riverblossom high school, and Westring high school.My heart drops as the form mentions my old high school, Riverblossom.Where all my friends are. Where Alec is.I will have to avoid him. I can't get caught up with him again. I can't get caught up with ANY of them.My heart wrenches thinking of them. Thinking of not talking to them. Having
A Thousand Lies Thirty-nine: Alec's family
Alec7:15 am FridayI load my things and the guy's things into the trunk of my car. All the main guys would be going with me.Zander, Damien, Ethan, and Connor. The rest of the men had to stay here to guard.Once I get everyone's bags into the trunk of my car, I slam it shut.Then to my surprise, two cars pull up in my driveway. We aren't expecting anyone. The cars stop. I can't see inside.Then I feel my heart drop.It is my parents. Picture perfect parents.No, not just them.I watch as my parents got out of the first car. My mom has a big smile plastered on her face walking over to me while my father goes back to get their luggage."What are you guys doing here? You weren't supposed to get back from Hawaii yet." I ask my mom as she engulfs me in a bear hug."We just missed you too much. Not to mention your father was worried." She let me go with a sigh. My father is like that. Never trust me with MY gang for too long. It was once his until he handed it down to me. He doesn't have t
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A Thousand Lies Seventy-three: the lies
Alec"You think this isn't hard for me?" Chris runs his fingers through his hair."I didn't say that." I grit my teeth, my ears ring with annoyance.I slam my hands on the table, snapping everyone's attention back to me. "Even if she's happier gone, did you guys forget that she was almost taken a few weeks ago?"I can almost see her small body fighting off her attempted kidnapper. If he would've overtaken her I swear I would've shot him right then and there."So you think she's in danger?" Chris grits his teeth."I'm saying I don't know what kind of trouble she's in!" I want to yell at everyone, telling them to search until the bottoms of their feet are rubbing off."I have something you need to see!" Bee and Rea bust through the door. I watch as Rea slightly glances at Connor before pushing her long hair out of her face.I stand to my feet, glancing at everyone at the table before leaving with the two girls. My heart races in my chest as we enter the security room."So... you're not
A Thousand Lies Seventy-two: I'm happy to be here
I stand completely still, my hands behind my back as my posture tightens."Is this fun for you?" My father asks me, shoving his pointer finger at me. My head gets knocked back and my body follows before catching myself with a stumble."I-is what fun?" The corners of my lips threaten to turn downwards."Watching me take care of you while you stay completely selfish. Do you not understand that I'm suffering because of you?" He squats down, bringing his hands to his face.Tears fall down his cheeks and onto the floor. Light sobs fill the room and I can't help but copy his crying.My hands come up to my face to wipe my tears away.I don't know why I'm crying because of him. Maybe it's this love I still have for him that makes me upset when he cries."I-I'm sorry." I hiccup, watching him lift his head. He crawls towards me, bringing himself upwards and wrapping his arms around me.He places his chin on my shoulders and softly cries.Maybe this is a turning point? Maybe he will finally real
A Thousand Lies Seventy-one: She's dead
TemperanceMy legs threaten to give out as I continue to pump them, trying to find my destination. In some sick way this reminds me of the times growing up that I was forced to run away from my father. Through my life with him, the familiar pain I would feel in my bones would cause me to sob as my legs continued to sprint.After years of the abuse I suffer with complex ptsd. I have a slight limp in my left leg where my knee is. Every-time I run like this I feel fire ignite in my knee. Not only that but my eyesight has also faltered through the abuse. From constantly pouring alcohol into my eyes as a form of punishment I was forced to get eye surgery two months ago. Even with the surgery I will eventually need glasses since my eyesight is still poor. My body is littered with scars from that monster. I got out alive but with the cost of my leg, my eyesight, and my skin."S-she's dead Temperance!" Danny yells at me, dragging me out of my thoughts.Her breathing is rigid as she slows down
A Thousand Lies Seventy: Lack of understanding
AlecI thin my lips out, wanting to crush the note she's left me in my hands. I've read it over and over.I love Temperance with everything in me but the notes she always leaves when she runs away are starting to get annoying.I've never understood her reasonings for running away aside from right now. In the past, she knew I could protect her. She knew she didn't have to go back but she still did.Now, she thought I was replacing her. I almost did replace her."Dear Alec, I don't know why I bother with these notes anymore. They seem like such a childish thing. How else would you know I left on my own will Vs if I was kidnapped?Anyways, I can't stay here while someone else is in my place by your side. I can't watch you be happy with another woman while I'm simply cast aside. I know you say this is for me but I never asked you to do this. I love you dearly and I want a future with you so bad but now I know that I can't have one with you. As soon as you picked a stranger over me is when
A Thousand Lies Sixty-nine: Strength
TemperanceTossing and turning through the night.My sleep has always been weary. The only time I ever got a full night of sleep was whenever my father would knock me unconscious.Being by Alec would help me. All I would do is put my hand on his chest. His chest moving up and down would help lull me to sleep.I turn towards the wall on the stained twin sized mattress. I look at the door, staring through the fist sized hole.Alec isn't here anymore. It's just me.My sheets and pillow smell like my room. Our room. They smell like Alec.I inhale the scent, letting a tear slip down my scarred cheek.I feel disgusted letting my wonderful sheets touch this disgusting mattress. It's the only thing blocking my skin from touching the stains but it still makes me cringe.People have no doubt had sex on this mattress. This is a whore house after all. My only question is how long will I be able to stay here?I have to pay up someday and they will make me do it with my body.I don't want that.I'v
A Thousand Lies Sixty-eight: Another note
Alec I sit uncomfortably in a seat in an empty meeting room. My heart aches in my chest. I feel physically fatigued from the pain I feel mentally. Who knew a breakup could hurt like this? I can't help but want to cry as I replay the events from hours ago. I can't forget the pain in her eyes as she screamed. There was so much emotion built up. Her eyes showed so much pain... so much anger. I was almost afraid she would punch me. I never would've imagine she would throw things at me. Arellas words play in my head over and over again. "You took her in and killed her father. The day you took her in is the day you signed a contract to protect her. That girl is more of your responsibility than I am." I've always thought of Arella as my responsibility. Temperance too... but not in the way Arella has put it. I have taken everything Temperance has never known away from her. I've stolen her old life and basically forced her to live with me. "Alec, what the hell are you doing?" I feel a
A Thousand Lies Sixty-seven: Gracelyn Sinclair
Temperance"He might not even go through with the marriage." Connor states, leaning on my dresser beside me as we stare at the wall opposite to us.I shake my head no, giving a sad smile, "The fact t-that he's e-even going is enough d-disrespect to me. I'm... I'm not-not staying here." I try to twist my ring around only to get a stab in the heart when I find nothing there.Connor turns towards me, "You're leaving. What about us? You'll be leaving everyone. Me, Zander, Ethan, Damien, Rea, Bee, and Ella. Can you really handle that?"I have made amazing friends while being here... but I can't just walk around this mansion like it's mine whenever Alec will take a wife soon."I c-can see you... and Z-Zander-no not him. Chris, I can see him. No o-one else." I love them all but I know I'll only be able to keep a tight circle if it means leaving. I know Alec will look for me when I leave and I'm not planning to let him find me.He tries to speak, trying to get me in my right mind before I beg
A Thousand Lies Sixty-six: Temperance
AlecI watch in shock as the woman I love throws things at me, glass cutting my face as she screams.She looks insane as she screams. In her eyes there's an emptiness. Like she's not all there. Somethings different about her.Connor has watched this whole thing play out, I can tell he's clearly on Temperances side. He watches with a hint of interest as she screams at me. Like he's studying the human emotion on someone who is severely angry.Ella turns the water off, pulling Connor back as Temp makes her way to me.Temperance isn't after Connor. She wouldn't hurt Connor. She's after me.She doesn't understand my reasons. I'm doing this for her. I love her so much that I would marry another woman just to keep her safe.Her safety is my main priority.There's multiple eyes from our friends on her. I feel almost embarrassed to be screamed at by her in this manner.Zander stands in front of the crowd. Rea clings onto his arm. Damien and Ethan stare dumbfounded, not knowing what to do.I ca
A Thousand Lies Sixty-five: Just like you
TemperanceI thought everyone is supposed to have character growth. Not just in books but in real life. Yet it's been a year and a half and I'm still stuck on what happened during my adolescence.I stare in the mirror I stand in front of. Things are definitely different from back then. My looks included.Back then my hair was long and thin. Now it's thick and short, down to my shoulders. My eyes used to be dull and lifeless but now they are bright. My thin and honey body is now healthy and I'm never starving.To think I almost killed myself.If I would have I wouldn't be where I am now. Both of my parents are dead, anyone who's wronged me is gone, I'm surrounded by a loving husband and amazing friends.Several times my mind has gone back to the one person that escaped my grasp. The one person that slipped through my fingers.Emaline.My best friend.I see her every time I closed my eyes. Her face is morphed now, it's blurry. Her face has faded from my mind. I haven't forgotten her, ju
