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Nineteen: heart aching anxiety
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2024-10-29 19:42:56
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A Thousand Lies Twenty: He's just Connor
Alec I park in the driveway and jump out of the car. I don't know what's gotten into me. I only go back to the mansion for emergencies. Temperance needing me shouldn't be an emergency. If only I could help it when it comes to her. I wouldn't be running away from my duties to tend to her. This girl, she just sets a fire off in me. When I'm around her I get nervous and my heart beats faster. I have this deep urge to protect her. If my father heard about me abandoning my duties tonight, he would be furious. I would no doubt be screamed at for hours. He isn't abusive or purposely mean to me, he just has a reputation to hold. Growing up me and my siblings were under extremely strict rules. We couldn't do anything to disgrace our family name. Ace and I had to be the best of the best to inherit the gang. My father never had any intentions of Arella maintaining his work so she didn't get the harsh rules. Once Vanessa came into Ace's life he decided he didn't want to be the next leader. T
A Thousand Lies Twenty-one: One day to forget
Temperance I look at my reflection in the mirror. My grey shirt is almost too big for me, covering the black leggings that cling to my legs. I tie my dark hair into a messy ponytail. My body is littered with fading bruises and healing cuts. There's is going to be a fine scar where I was bashed on my forehead. I turn my head, gazing at the door as I hear a light knock. I open the door, looking up at Alec. I give him a small smile, stepping out of the room. "Ready to go?" I ask. I'm excited to go on this adventure. I've never been to a trampoline park. The only concern I have is the wounds on my stomach. I'll have to take it easy today. "We've been ready. You take forever." I shoot him a glare as he laughs. Why does my heart hurt when I look at him? We stop in front of the car, standing with all the guys. "We have a problem. There's not enough room in the car." Damien sighed, "Someone will have to sit on a lap." I know what they think when they all look at me. They want me
A Thousand Lies Twenty-two: happiness before the fall
Temperance I sit in the living room with pillows and blankets littering the floor below me. We are all cuddled up on the couch, shoulder to shoulder. A movie plays on the flat screen tv in front of us. We all have pajamas on, including Connor who doesn't live here. I have no idea where he acquired them from. Emaline and I cuddle with our backs against the couch behind us. "Go get Ella to turn down the temperature," Emaline demands Zander. He nods and stands up, patting her leg. I don't miss the blush that forms on Emaline's face. "Do you guys do this often?" I ask them, grabbing a handful of kettle popcorn and piling it into my mouth. "No. This is the first time." Alec replies. I expected that—kind of. I lay my head back and smile. I've never had a fun day like this. Not ever since my mom died. God, I miss her. So much. "It always feels like something bad is happening. One thing after another." Ethan blurts. "Well, for Temperance at least," Connor adds, his voice low. It see
A Thousand Lies Twenty-three: Emalines past
Younger EmalineApril 22nd"TJ!" I happily call out to my new boyfriend. My heart flutters as he greets me with a smile, "Hey babe." He leans down, kissing my head softly. My heart can't help but flutter.He grabs my arm, leading me inside the restaurant.I sit down at the dinner table, gazing at the scenery around us."We've been together for a month. I can hardly believe it." I grab my menu, skimming the food items. I thin my lips, glancing at him as he continues his silence.My mind wonders if he heard me or not. "TJ?" I say lightly, trying to get his attention. He is often cold to me. I know he doesn't mean it, It's just his personality. I know he loves me, he tells me every day."I want you to move in with me." His brown eyes pour into mine with intensity.My breath catches in my throat as I stare at him with shock. "My parents?" I bring up my family, they would surely miss me. I'm only fourteen, they mostly give me everything I want. But I don't think they will be too fond of t
A Thousand Lies Twenty-four: First dance in the rain
Temperance I lay on my back, staring at the ceiling. I woke up hours ago but haven't had the strength to move. Alec explained to me that when the police find me I'm going to have to go back. Of course, I won't have to go back to my own home, I would be leaving for my Aunt and Uncles. That is exactly the thing that causes me to be nervous. I haven't seen their family in years. The only place I know is my own home and then Alec's home. Going to this new place fills me with uncertainty. But alas, there's only a matter of time before they house me somewhere else. I have all of my friends here. Alec's people are my friends, and I would be leaving them. Not only them but Nicole and Ryan as well. I've been distant from them since I met Alec but that doesn't mean that I want to completely leave their side. There's this feeling inside of me that causes me to be sick with anxiety. I can't help but feel like something bad is going to happen. Something bad always happens. This time, It's cau
A Thousand Lies Twenty-five: Bloody rain
Temperance My body crashes into the cement, my hands covering my ringing ears. I open my eyes, feeling my heart drop as I'm covered in blood. "Emaline!" I shriek once I locate the source of the blood. I jump towards her putting her limp body on my lap. Then there is another loud gunshot. And Tj is on the ground bleeding. He shot himself. I don't know where. Nor do I care. I only care about the girl that's bleeding out in front of me. "Is she alive?" Zander screams at me. With shaky hands, I reach toward her neck. My hand slips from the blood before I'm able to press my fingers around her neck. I find the spot where I'm supposed to feel her pulse. "N... no." The sound of the rain drowns my voice out. I press harder on her neck before having my hand retreat. I place my hand on her chest, where she was shot. Her face continues to lose its color as I press down on her wound, the blood seeping through my fingers. Her blond hair is already soaked with her dark blood. Tears stream
A Thousand Lies Twenty-six: Bloodied hands
Temperance After we leave her grave we end up at the warehouse per my request. I walk past everyone who had just come from the funeral. Instead of mourning at home, they hide the pain by continuing their work. I stand in front of Rea and Justin who guard the heavy metal door. I know Tj is behind this door, and you bet your ass I'll get in. "Let me in," I grit my teeth. They glance at each other, then back at me. "We can't let you do that." Rea looks at me sadly. They know who I'm going for. They know my reason. And they continue to stand in my way. I turn around and eye Alec and Zander. They speak up. "You can let her in. There's no stopping her today.." Alec replies, watching my every move. They open the door, revealing a set of stairs leading down into a dimly lit hall. I go down the stairs. "I'll take watch. Rea, you can go down there instead." Zanders's voice almost cracks in that sentence. He's too heartbroken to look at the man who murdered the woman he loved in cold
A Thousand Lies Twenty-seven: Gracelyn Sinclair
Temperance The light shines through the holes in the roof of the treehouse. It hits my eye just right, pulling me out of my restless sleep. With messy hair and a dirty dress, I bring myself to my feet, my face twisting at my bruised legs. I know Alec is worried but I can't find myself caring. I need time for myself. I walk towards the trap door and climb down. Throwing my shoes onto the ground below me. I relax once both of my feet are on the cool, green grass below me. I pick up my shoes and make my way out of the forest. I am a mess. A big mess. My hair is tangled, and my dress has dirt and rips all through it. My jacket is ripped at the bottom. I look like I've escaped a kidnapping, especially with these fading wounds all over my face and legs. I find my way back onto the road. I am in town. Walking barefoot on the sidewalks, my shoes in my hands. Lots of people give me weird stares. Some have worried expressions written across their faces. "Ma'am, are you ok?" A middle-ag
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A Thousand Lies Seventy-three: the lies
Alec"You think this isn't hard for me?" Chris runs his fingers through his hair."I didn't say that." I grit my teeth, my ears ring with annoyance.I slam my hands on the table, snapping everyone's attention back to me. "Even if she's happier gone, did you guys forget that she was almost taken a few weeks ago?"I can almost see her small body fighting off her attempted kidnapper. If he would've overtaken her I swear I would've shot him right then and there."So you think she's in danger?" Chris grits his teeth."I'm saying I don't know what kind of trouble she's in!" I want to yell at everyone, telling them to search until the bottoms of their feet are rubbing off."I have something you need to see!" Bee and Rea bust through the door. I watch as Rea slightly glances at Connor before pushing her long hair out of her face.I stand to my feet, glancing at everyone at the table before leaving with the two girls. My heart races in my chest as we enter the security room."So... you're not
A Thousand Lies Seventy-two: I'm happy to be here
I stand completely still, my hands behind my back as my posture tightens."Is this fun for you?" My father asks me, shoving his pointer finger at me. My head gets knocked back and my body follows before catching myself with a stumble."I-is what fun?" The corners of my lips threaten to turn downwards."Watching me take care of you while you stay completely selfish. Do you not understand that I'm suffering because of you?" He squats down, bringing his hands to his face.Tears fall down his cheeks and onto the floor. Light sobs fill the room and I can't help but copy his crying.My hands come up to my face to wipe my tears away.I don't know why I'm crying because of him. Maybe it's this love I still have for him that makes me upset when he cries."I-I'm sorry." I hiccup, watching him lift his head. He crawls towards me, bringing himself upwards and wrapping his arms around me.He places his chin on my shoulders and softly cries.Maybe this is a turning point? Maybe he will finally real
A Thousand Lies Seventy-one: She's dead
TemperanceMy legs threaten to give out as I continue to pump them, trying to find my destination. In some sick way this reminds me of the times growing up that I was forced to run away from my father. Through my life with him, the familiar pain I would feel in my bones would cause me to sob as my legs continued to sprint.After years of the abuse I suffer with complex ptsd. I have a slight limp in my left leg where my knee is. Every-time I run like this I feel fire ignite in my knee. Not only that but my eyesight has also faltered through the abuse. From constantly pouring alcohol into my eyes as a form of punishment I was forced to get eye surgery two months ago. Even with the surgery I will eventually need glasses since my eyesight is still poor. My body is littered with scars from that monster. I got out alive but with the cost of my leg, my eyesight, and my skin."S-she's dead Temperance!" Danny yells at me, dragging me out of my thoughts.Her breathing is rigid as she slows down
A Thousand Lies Seventy: Lack of understanding
AlecI thin my lips out, wanting to crush the note she's left me in my hands. I've read it over and over.I love Temperance with everything in me but the notes she always leaves when she runs away are starting to get annoying.I've never understood her reasonings for running away aside from right now. In the past, she knew I could protect her. She knew she didn't have to go back but she still did.Now, she thought I was replacing her. I almost did replace her."Dear Alec, I don't know why I bother with these notes anymore. They seem like such a childish thing. How else would you know I left on my own will Vs if I was kidnapped?Anyways, I can't stay here while someone else is in my place by your side. I can't watch you be happy with another woman while I'm simply cast aside. I know you say this is for me but I never asked you to do this. I love you dearly and I want a future with you so bad but now I know that I can't have one with you. As soon as you picked a stranger over me is when
A Thousand Lies Sixty-nine: Strength
TemperanceTossing and turning through the night.My sleep has always been weary. The only time I ever got a full night of sleep was whenever my father would knock me unconscious.Being by Alec would help me. All I would do is put my hand on his chest. His chest moving up and down would help lull me to sleep.I turn towards the wall on the stained twin sized mattress. I look at the door, staring through the fist sized hole.Alec isn't here anymore. It's just me.My sheets and pillow smell like my room. Our room. They smell like Alec.I inhale the scent, letting a tear slip down my scarred cheek.I feel disgusted letting my wonderful sheets touch this disgusting mattress. It's the only thing blocking my skin from touching the stains but it still makes me cringe.People have no doubt had sex on this mattress. This is a whore house after all. My only question is how long will I be able to stay here?I have to pay up someday and they will make me do it with my body.I don't want that.I'v
A Thousand Lies Sixty-eight: Another note
Alec I sit uncomfortably in a seat in an empty meeting room. My heart aches in my chest. I feel physically fatigued from the pain I feel mentally. Who knew a breakup could hurt like this? I can't help but want to cry as I replay the events from hours ago. I can't forget the pain in her eyes as she screamed. There was so much emotion built up. Her eyes showed so much pain... so much anger. I was almost afraid she would punch me. I never would've imagine she would throw things at me. Arellas words play in my head over and over again. "You took her in and killed her father. The day you took her in is the day you signed a contract to protect her. That girl is more of your responsibility than I am." I've always thought of Arella as my responsibility. Temperance too... but not in the way Arella has put it. I have taken everything Temperance has never known away from her. I've stolen her old life and basically forced her to live with me. "Alec, what the hell are you doing?" I feel a
A Thousand Lies Sixty-seven: Gracelyn Sinclair
Temperance"He might not even go through with the marriage." Connor states, leaning on my dresser beside me as we stare at the wall opposite to us.I shake my head no, giving a sad smile, "The fact t-that he's e-even going is enough d-disrespect to me. I'm... I'm not-not staying here." I try to twist my ring around only to get a stab in the heart when I find nothing there.Connor turns towards me, "You're leaving. What about us? You'll be leaving everyone. Me, Zander, Ethan, Damien, Rea, Bee, and Ella. Can you really handle that?"I have made amazing friends while being here... but I can't just walk around this mansion like it's mine whenever Alec will take a wife soon."I c-can see you... and Z-Zander-no not him. Chris, I can see him. No o-one else." I love them all but I know I'll only be able to keep a tight circle if it means leaving. I know Alec will look for me when I leave and I'm not planning to let him find me.He tries to speak, trying to get me in my right mind before I beg
A Thousand Lies Sixty-six: Temperance
AlecI watch in shock as the woman I love throws things at me, glass cutting my face as she screams.She looks insane as she screams. In her eyes there's an emptiness. Like she's not all there. Somethings different about her.Connor has watched this whole thing play out, I can tell he's clearly on Temperances side. He watches with a hint of interest as she screams at me. Like he's studying the human emotion on someone who is severely angry.Ella turns the water off, pulling Connor back as Temp makes her way to me.Temperance isn't after Connor. She wouldn't hurt Connor. She's after me.She doesn't understand my reasons. I'm doing this for her. I love her so much that I would marry another woman just to keep her safe.Her safety is my main priority.There's multiple eyes from our friends on her. I feel almost embarrassed to be screamed at by her in this manner.Zander stands in front of the crowd. Rea clings onto his arm. Damien and Ethan stare dumbfounded, not knowing what to do.I ca
A Thousand Lies Sixty-five: Just like you
TemperanceI thought everyone is supposed to have character growth. Not just in books but in real life. Yet it's been a year and a half and I'm still stuck on what happened during my adolescence.I stare in the mirror I stand in front of. Things are definitely different from back then. My looks included.Back then my hair was long and thin. Now it's thick and short, down to my shoulders. My eyes used to be dull and lifeless but now they are bright. My thin and honey body is now healthy and I'm never starving.To think I almost killed myself.If I would have I wouldn't be where I am now. Both of my parents are dead, anyone who's wronged me is gone, I'm surrounded by a loving husband and amazing friends.Several times my mind has gone back to the one person that escaped my grasp. The one person that slipped through my fingers.Emaline.My best friend.I see her every time I closed my eyes. Her face is morphed now, it's blurry. Her face has faded from my mind. I haven't forgotten her, ju
