HANA "I have a user story, two tickets, three KT sessions and one hotfix." Shalini stared at her Team's calendar and said. "What about you?" "Just double what you have," I said, looking at my calendar on the system. We both blankly stared at the screen for fifteen minutes. "Can I go back in time and kiss her ass?" I asked her without turning to Shalini. From the corner of my eye, I saw her shaking her head. "Too late," She says. "If only we had let Bash fire her." She murmured. "If only I nodded my head instead of raging like a spitfire." "If only we hadn't discussed about sharing the work loudly." We both looked at turned towards each other, our faces grimacing as a low scream erupted from our throats. Shalini did a fake cry. and I touched my temple. "This is our doom," Shalini cried. "It is," I agreed. Asli started to retaliate in the way she knew by dumping all the work on us. "Mommy," Shalini cried. "I s
HANA I stayed up all night, scrolling through i***a, waiting for Bash's message and trying to reach Violet. This is something Bash asked me not to do. I looked no less than a zombie when I went to the office with dark circles and messy hair because I was late to straighten it. "Do you happen to have a Band-Aid? ‘Cause I scraped my knees falling for you." "Shut up, Mateo." I chided him. "I am not in the mood for it." "Wow, how do you even manage to look worse than yesterday?" Shalini asked me, wide-eyed. She linked our hands while Mateo tried to do the same. I swatted his hand away. "Come on, what did I do? You should have gone with him." I know I should have. It has been two days since he left for New York. I don't know what's happening there. I don't know how he is dealing with the death of his only family member, if he has eaten, if he needs help or if he needs me. I knew nothing. I felt like such a useless person when he somehow c
HANA A faint glow of light was cast into my room when I opened my eyes. I remember closing the curtains of my bedroom because of the street light that stood across my apartment. I couldn't tolerate the faintest beam while I slept, especially when I couldn't sleep. I turned my head, taking in my surroundings. His watch rested on my bedside table. A smile tugged my lips. It's just a watch but it gives me such a sense of safety. I groaned, covering my face. "What did you do to me, Bash?" "I don't know. You tell me." My eyes cracked open, searching for the sound of the voice in the low-illuminated bedroom. I gasped looking over the stretched hand across my waist. I almost screamed if he hadn't covered my mouth with his palm. Panic started to grip me. I bit his hand to escape. "Hush," He says, drawing his hand back. His frame was backlit by the beam of a street light passing through my window before he moved closer. He smiled at me, his hand caressing
HANA I remember the time when I held a stone in my hand, ready to fight the boys who bullied my sister. I used to be fiercely protective of people I love until I was made into someone I don't recognise because of Leo. That protectiveness emerged out of nowhere. In many ways, Bash is just like me. He stared at everything silently because he was so proud of me. But the moment a stranger called me a whore, he broke his nose. I didn't know what that word meant for Bash to react like that until Shalini translated it. We would make such a perfect couple if we weren't what we are. I quickly packed my bag. Now that Bash has clarified that all we had is two months, I don't want to waste a minute of it. When I went to Bash's apartment, Bash was in nothing but a trouser. He is cooking. "If I hadn't known that you are a very bad cook, I would say, what a sexy sight it is." I watched his shoulder shake as he burst into laughter before he turned towards me. He held hi
HANA "You just asked me to suck you clean." My eyes widened and immediately drew my hands back. "No," I yell at him, throwing a pillow on his face. I have been trying to learn the sign language for months now. Every time I made a mistake, Bash used it to his advantage. His calloused hands circled my ankles and he pulled me to him in one soft movement. "Not fair," I protested. "I could never win against you." I pouted. That made him smile. He leaned to me to kiss me on my pouted lips which he has been doing a lot these days. I bit him, making him flinch so that I could get away. But he is too fast. Before I crawled back, he pulled me by my waist. Both of us slumped on the bed, giggling and breathing hard with him above me. I felt him remove the strands of hair off my back. The top raised up, and the next second, he was placing a wet kiss on my bare back. I moaned, relishing in his touch. It has been ten days since he return
HANA I stayed late today. Something about what Asli said this morning doesn't sit with me well. "I'll help you," He said or I heard him say to her during the leisure. It can be any help. But it doesn't hurt to know more. I want to complete the work Bash gave me. A part of me wants to make him feel proud of me. I've never had a person whom I call mine. Even if it's just for a short period of time. I don't think it's possible to have someone like that, someone with whom you can share anything and rely on everything, someone with whom you can be weak without having to feel vulnerable. Damn, Bash has his way of making people feel.. I heard a distant laughter followed by footsteps into our ODC. Soon, Asli and Demir walked in. "sen benim kurtarıcımsın, (You are my saviour). Thank you for always being there." I heard Asli say. "Come on. I know the workload. I can't unsee the hard work you do." Asli gave him a grateful smile before they both sat at her desk.
HANA I looked at the photo of Bash and smiled to myself. He stared at it for more than ten minutes last night. I took it when he was taking out an invitation card from an envelope, capturing his hands and his chest behind. Nothing on his face is captured in the photo except for his sharp jaw. "You should think about switching your career," He told me. "You capture moments." "It's too late for me," I told him. "You are just twenty-three." "I feel like I am fifty." Bash shook his head, still staring at the photo of him, "There's a child in you. Never let her go." His eyes bore into me as he held my gaze. "Why does it feel like you are giving me life lessons right now?" "Maybe I am." I didn't like it a bit. Because people tend to give others advice when they are going to leave. In our case, it is inevitable. As though he understood what I was thinking, he stretched his hand and scooted to him. Like this, I feel so small.
HANA I inhaled the scent of his shirt I found in my laundry bucket. He was here a few hours ago. My room still smells like him. Why does he have to leave without waking me up? What was the last thing we did? I didn't remember. My phone rang for the fifth time. I reached out to it, thinking it was Bash. Like last time, it was Shalini. I swiped it and attended the call. "Where were you?" She yelled from the other side. "Did something happen? I have been trying to reach you for an hour now." My lips trembled when I tried to talk. "He is gone," I tell her. "He is just gone." "Hey," Her tone softened as she talked. "What do you mean he is gone?" She questioned in a low tone. "He left," I sobbed. "Without a goodbye." "Isn't that what you want, Hana?" She asked me. I nod my head, as tears flood my eyes. "We still have a month. It hurts, Shalini. It fucking hurts to know that he won't be here with me." I heard the tapping of her footst