Chapter 2 - Frustration

Sera’s P.O.V

I paced my bedroom. My anger would not settle. How could mother expect me to meet that monster that was supposed to be my father? I growled at myself gripping my silver hair between my hands. The second thing I had inherited from him. I hated it. I hated what he had done to my mother, what he had done to me. Emma did not know yet what I was thanks to him and I still was not sure if I wanted to tell her my secret. Mother had encouraged me to, many times. Growing up when my anger had erupted I would run from the house scared she would find out I wasn’t normal. One of my biggest fears was that she would find out I was a werewolf. I had wanted a little sister to share in my life for so long, but she wasn’t like me. After mother had explained she had lost her mother and father to a monster of some kind I really didn’t want the fear that awoke her some nights to be directed at me. I cursed my father again anger bubbling in my stomach. I had not had my first change yet, I knew mother would be pushing me to meet good old’ dad simply as she did not know what I was going through. I mean she had books, but according to them I should have met my wolf and had the first change by my 16th birthday. Part of me did want to experience it, to find out why I had not changed yet. What my wolf would be like but could I even look at this man without wanting to tear his throat? Mother had loved him so much, with every ounce of her heart. She had told me that he was her ‘mate’. A word meaning a soul mate, someone you were destined to be with for the rest of your days. When I was 12 I had questioned her about him more, and what had happened. She had told me that he was the most handsome man she had ever met, he had pure silver hair kept short. He had reddish-brown eyes and had an arrogant aura around him although he was nothing but sweet to her in the beginning. The way she spoke about the first few years she has spent with him sounded like a dreamy fairy tale. I have asked her what happened for them to split for as a child I had assumed he had died. Mother's face contorted to pain and sadness before she ushered me away, a secret she did not want me to know. That was before Emma and I had found those letters from him, apologizing for cheating, for harming someone close to her, and for having to disavow her as a mate and hurting her. How could someone that claimed to be a soul mate hurt their partner at all let alone like this? Mother had told me upon confronting her with these letters that she did not know she was pregnant with me at the time of getting those letters. She, of course, told him once she knew but would not tell me why he was absent all my life.

A timid knock on my door broke my thoughts. Thinking it was our mother I opened the door quickly ready to give her a piece of my mind. But I was greeted by Emma’s surprised eyes. They were red and puffy like she had been crying. My anger immediately ceased as I looked over her with concern.

“What happened EmEm?”

She opened her mouth to speak but tears started falling down her cheeks again. I brought her in for a tight bear hug and stroked her hair. Once she had control of her tears I released my grip as she pulled out a photo.

“This is them, SeSe.”

I saw a woman that looked just like Emma and an unknown man, the realization came over me.

“Oh, EmEm she’s beautiful, just like you! She must have been a Queen!”

I gave my sister a small smile and she giggled before sighing.

“Am I a bad person?”

“What do you mean EmEm? You have never been bad, I’m always the bad one”

I kept my tone jokingly trying to soothe her but I knew what she meant. She had never really spoken about her birth parents ever.

“No, I mean”

She breathed deeply before continuing.

“I never even gave much thought to my birth parents, I just kind of forgot about them”

She looked at me pained and guilty.

“Listen, Emma. I can’t pretend to know-how you feel but I don’t think you’re a bad person.”

I gave her a small kiss on her forehead.

“I think maybe you just keep them deep inside of your heart, so you wouldn’t miss them too much.”

She nodded while I was talking before frowning. I knew she was in deep thought, she was easy to read with her facial expressions.

“Do you think they would be happy with that? Or would they hate me… because I have Freya as my Mum and you….”

Her voice was soft, tears leaking from her eyes as her voice trailed off.

“Hey, EmEm. Please don’t think like that!”

I hugged her tightly again.

“They would love you, how could they not? Besides, I think they would be happy that you had me and Mum looking after you”.

Emma started crying again. I just held her waiting till she was all cried out. It pained me to see her in such a state but there was nothing I could do to make her feel better.

“What happened to them SeSe? Why are they not here?”

Her voice was desperate. She looked at me again so many questions going through her mind,

“I don’t know.”

My answer was quiet. How could we even find out what happened? I know mother had tried for years to locate any family members of Emma or to even find out where her birth mother had come from. I know Emma’s mother had died the day she came into my life but neither I nor mother knew what exactly happened. All mother had found was her remains and a burnt-out car. I promised myself at that moment I would find out for her. After all, as her older sister, it was my job to keep her safe. Even if that meant keeping her safe from her own thoughts. Emma and I stayed holding each other for a long time. Both of us trapped in our own heads with unanswered questions.

“Girls, dinner is up!”

Mother’s voice thankfully broke our trance-like state. We both stood with an aura of sadness still surrounding us.

“Well, at least we don’t have to do any more stupid sewing”,

Emma gave me a small smile.

“No more survival school”

She giggled smiling wider, Emma had never liked having to hunt for food and surviving off the land. I returned her smile

“Thanks, SeSe, I’m so glad I have you”

“No problems EmEm, you're stuck with me”

I could not help but feel proud.

“I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t have you. You are the only normal thing I have.”

I froze as she left my room smiling, guilt eating me up. I had to tell her my secret, but not yet. She deserved to be happy. To think this family she was a part of was normal. I sighed before leaving the room myself to head down to dinner.

Dinner was a quiet affair, mother seemed nervous and I couldn’t help but chuckle. She was such a secretive person but man. When she was caught with one she could not hide it. I did not fight her even though a part of me deep down really wanted to push her buttons. I have no idea why but ever since I was 13 I seemed to constantly want to piss her off. Not for any particular reason, sometimes she just really frustrated me. I assumed that was something I had gotten off my father but who really knew.

“Okay, my girls. Tomorrow we will be leaving at 6 am sharp. I have an old friend that will be picking us up”

Emma glanced over at me surprised, honestly, I was too. My mother had never mentioned having friends and I guess neither of us had ever asked.

“His name is Glen and he is very excited to meet you too now that you are grown”

She was smiling remembering some event that had happened, I was a little excited about meeting him. I loved seeing my mother happy. Something about his name seemed familiar but I could not place a face to it.

“Is he handsome?”

Emma piped up

“What?”

Mother stammered taken aback, I giggled as Emma continued

“I mean like, you know”

She blushed as mother chuckled regaining her composure. Emma I swore was boy crazy. Every time we would take her to the local town she would ogle any boy her age or try and convince me or my mother to date a random man she found handsome.

“Oh I suppose he could be considered handsome, he is tall and strong, blonde hair and crystal blue eyes. Deep voice, caring heart, and all that”

Emma smiled back with a dreamy look in her eyes, I wondered if maybe Emma thought we were lonely?

“Do you think he would like you like that Mum?”

Mother laughed loudly, as Emma became more embarrassed.

“What’s so funny?”

Emma had a hint of frustration in her tone.

“Well, it’s just that he doesn’t like…”

She was still laughing trying to explain, I glanced between them both wondering what was so funny.

“I don’t have the right ‘parts’ from him”.

‘Oh no’ I thought looking back towards Emma hoping she understood, I was wrong. Emma looked more upset.

“What do you mean wrong parts?? If you don’t think he would like you, Mum, you can just say”.

“No dear, he doesn’t like women, besides his boyfriend would probably be mad if I were to make a move on him”

“Oh… OH”

Emma was bright red, hiding in her hands as my mother laughed again, tears coming out of her eyes.

“Wait till Glen hears about this he will just die”

Emma looked at mother in horror

“No, please don’t Muma”

I laughed with mother as Emma slowly calmed down and returned the laughter with us. She was too innocent sometimes. After dinner I returned to my room, collecting the last of my belongings and packing them away. Mother had told me it might be a few years before we return. Whatever was happening to me I needed to learn about it. Why I was not growing like the wolves in our books. I wondered if it was to do with me being a half breed. My mother could not possibly answer any questions I had asked with her limited knowledge. I understood why she was taking us to where my father lived. She probably hoped he would have the answers to my questions. Just because I understood why we had to go did not mean I liked it. Frowning thinking about him again I hit my bedside table in frustration. The loud thump caused an echo of "everything alright?" from both mother and Emma.

"Yes sorry, all okay"

I yelled back before trying to calm my anger. I closed my eyes before getting ready for bed. Accepting that my hate towards him would need to be put on hold for the time being, just until I found out what I needed to know.