Chapter 35 – Jayler A small part of me is secretly wishing that Lance should’ve told this Dominic guy that he was the sole reason why he wrote that harrowing and gut-wrenching song. Whether it’s intentional or not, I figured that he still brought down a torrential rain of pain and thunderous agony that was all poured into that song. But then I thought that’s horribly uneducated of me to wish something like that. Yes, it’s true that I don’t know the exact feeling of those emotions but at least I have an idea and I’m inclined to believe that that’s worthy enough for me to feel for Lance. However, I might have to change my point of view in line with Lance’s sentiments. He, himself had told me that he’d already moved past, buried the hatchet and whatever you may want to call it. And I guess I have to respect his decision. “I think you did the right thing.” I voiced out. It’s not necessarily what I think but based on what I’ve heard so far, it’s got to be the right thing. “I know.” Lance
Chapter 36 - Jayler The whole trip to the beach was just a good two hours and I have got to admit, it’s quite fun to ride the public utility bus now that I’ve tried it. The air-conditioning system felt freezing even though when you look outside the sun’s pretty much burning. I had to use my jacket just to keep myself warm and even with the jacket on, I still felt like it’s winter. I noticed a few of the passengers seemed like they’re used to this frigid level of air-conditioning since they’re just wearing a t-shirt and they don’t even look like they’re freezing at all. This is essentially my first time riding the public bus towards the beach and it was certainly amusing to see different types of people. Lance and I had some pretty interesting conversation about how he’s managing his life having two jobs and all. He confessed to me that he never finished college and when I asked him about it he just shut down. In my head, I was thinking about pressing harder just to get to know the rea
Chapter 37 – Jayler “Someone special?” I repeated the words as if I don’t have a clear comprehension of what Lance had just asked. But the truth is, I don’t exactly know how to respond to that query. The reality is that I don’t really have someone special as far as I know. I mean, I have people like Kenneth and Jasper but I know what Lance was trying to say when he said those specific words. He’s most certainly talking about love and what do I know about love? “Don’t you have like a crush?” Lance rephrased the question perhaps thinking that I did not comprehend what he asked initially. I went silent for a moment and I didn’t know I was already staring tenaciously at Lance. His hair was now messy and his skin became a bit greasy caused by the heat in the open air but what had captured my attention was the way he was looking back at me. There’s something enigmatic in the way he looks at me like he’s looking beyond my soul searching for something there. Our eyes met halfway and I don’t
Chapter 38 – Lance The magnificent view of the sunset gave me nothing but a nice and fresh sniff of relief and even for that few minute glimpse of its striking the beauty of nature, it promised a fun and wild night ahead of us. Jayler and I are supposed to go back home by this time—we only came here to have a quick getaway from the inner city and all of the things that’s making me agitated—but it seemed that a beach party had halted our plans. Jayler was just super charged with high voltage of excitement when he learned about the beach party and while initially I was against that, I ended up agreeing to go and have a little bit of fun. Jayler appeared as if he’s a kid crying and begging for a box of chocolate at the chocolate shop and there even came a point that he became extremely unrelenting towards me. I just kept on declining and while it lasted, I was delighted and amused about how excited and thrilled he was to attend an actual beach party. At first, I honestly had no actual pl
Chapter 39 – Lance It took me seconds before I could even realize Jayler had planted an unprecedented kiss on my mouth and once I realized what was actually happening, I felt like the alcohol inside my system has just been flushed out. I was immediately pulled back towards reality and soberness and things seemed to go in slow motion. My initial response to Jayler’s sudden action was to reciprocate the kiss even though I was completely taken by surprise. I held the back of Jayler’s head, pulled his head even closer and then began kissing him back subsequently giving him what I think he wants. It was at this moment that I recognized the fact that he doesn’t know how to kiss. His mouth was plastered on mine but there’s no clear and passionate movement coming from him and I thought I’d have to take that role and start to guide him through it. I let out my tongue and began slithering my way inside his mouth, however that movement proved to be a wrong decision on my part. Jayler seemed to h
Chapter 40 – Jayler I stood mentally adrift under the shower as the cold water trickled down incessantly trying to wash away the sticky sweat off of my body. I just got home from that short vacation at the beach and I thought I’m going to be just fine and yet I still feel like I’m in a different space. It’s been quite an unexpected day and the apparent feeling of confusion and shock has been clinging onto me. I have zero to little idea on how would I describe the bizarre and almost unfamiliar feeling when I kissed Lance at that stupid beach party. It just happened in the moment and I don’t even know if I regret doing it but all I know is that I kissed him and I’m pretty much certain that a few people had seen us. I might have to admit the thought that I actually liked the kiss in all fairness, but I’m trying to convince myself that it was just a core mistake that was caused by the alcohol and maybe the sudden feeling of jealousy. I don’t even know why I was feeling jealous when there’
Chapter 41 – Jayler I was extremely busy for the following weeks that I felt almost disconnected with everything and somehow everyone around me. For the most part of it, I was conscious and I’m deliberately disconnecting myself around for one; the snide remarks from my peers about the whole reason why I was missing for a week isn’t doing any good for my thoughts; two, I just want to focus on getting back on my academic track and that’s because I don’t want my parents to notice something fishy; and third, I’m still trying to understand myself and still ignoring Lance. The grave punishment of cleaning and helping at the laboratory and library stole my free time and the only time that I could spend with Kenneth and Jasper was every lunch break. It’s the only time that we could catch up to each other and while I missed both of them, I’m still acting as if this was the first time that we met each other. I was mostly reserved purposely to keep my mouth from over talking and oversharing. Th
Chapter 42 – Jayler I guess I was being internally and subconsciously expecting for Joyce to react intrepidly violent just like my dad and I was obviously wrong about that. Even with the current knowledge that she’s dating a bisexual guy, I was admittedly enthralled to think that she would be against me kissing a guy and all. It was really sweet to think that this was the first time that I’m feeling great and thankful with a family member reacting to what I said that wasn’t even a lie. “It just happened and I don’t even know that I truly liked it until I sat and thought about it for a hot minute.” I was stripping everything out fully naked for my sister telling her how I truly felt in the moment and she’s very much attentive which was so comforting in a sense. “Do you think I’m sexually confused or is this just a what most people call a phase and that it’s going to pass sooner?” I flat out uttered the words in its rawest form and I’m actually quite surprised that I found the right do
The three of them left Bradey who was enjoying the company of beautiful girls grinding with him. He surrendered to his bed and pleaded for the mercy of sleep to come and rescue him butit won't just come. He began thinking about what he said a few hours earlier, at first it sounded funny and even more insane but it could possibly be the solution to his problem. Dating a man.He was always open to the idea even before he met Samantha, but he couln't just take the risk without properly thinking about it, plus he wasn't gay at all. Day by day, he is losing every singledrop of hope he had to the point that he is starting to become desperate. The thought of getting old alone was squeezing his spinal cord; he never wanted to be left alone in this world like her mother.Richard was sitting taciturnly in front of his computer monitor, tapping away the keyboard, and while sipping some of the Matcha he bought from where he worked, he did not turned hisfocus away fro
After the kiss everything went crazily awkward yet it felt like doubled heaven. However there had been no clear apprehension of moving from sleep to consciousness or if he did ever had the chance to sleep at all. At first he was just lying around eyes wide open firmly fixed above the idle ceiling. Usually things always do sink in as swift as a blink of an eye but now it actually took about less than twenty-four hours for him just to fully process and accept everything that happened. It's sure is real and it was wild, hungry, ardent, and awfully wrong in a way yet he wanted it all.He needed every second of it.Not that he was regretting it or something but it sure opened the closet to the realization of how sexually confused he is. Jasper and Kenneth kept on asking him about when will he ask somebody out, or when will he fuck somebody and as a response he was just telling them words of wisdom. It was obviously hilarious but, even if you consider how smart he is, he jus
Kenneth's increasing excitement almost gave a successful infection to Jasper and Jayler, as soon as the lazy tattooed bouncer let them in without even having some second thoughts or even laying an eye to verify their legality, they started moving with the funky beat playing within the background. Clearly, even a nine year old kid could tell, they seem to resonate sheen light of minority within them though, in the most teenager sense of thinking, they dressed themselves plausibly in accordance and tried to be as oblivious as possible. They were successful about it, no one noticed and even if someone actually noticed they wouldn't give a damn anyway. They were just having fun and having fun means breaking rules, or at least that's how teenagers believe it to be."Oh lord I’ve got to admit I missed this damn place” Kenneth whistled.“Are you fucking kidding me Kenneth?” Jasper blurted in response while giving him a disbelieving glare.“Well, yeah I was here yesterday and the day before t
The long and tiring day finally reeled to an end, Richard arrived at his unit at exactly eleven pm with the thought of Jayler actually staying in, and as usual like yesterday and the day before that,there was no sign of Jayler to be found. He was not fine with it, he doesn't understand why or how did something like this be happening to him but he felt like just being with him soothes allthe sores of a tiring day, but he has to be fine with it, and of course realizing the mere fact that his shift ends at 10 pm, Jayler probably had gone home, he has some parents and a sister toworry for his safety. He has a family, a sweet thing that he had once. And this is Friday night, and Friday nights were supposed to be the youngest of the young nights for him, and even if heis already at the early stages of getting real old to this crappy life, he and his friends still have the finest time to seek pleasure with their party people mindset. The clamorous thought of feeling
Friday came crashing down like a tremendous blazing fireball of blessing, aside from the mere fact that Fridays were always a blessing, it was the last day of Jayler's three day suspension andafter that he can finally return back to school. He woke up very much delighted with the idea that it was all over at last, and, just like the fresh and lustrous morning light, his smile was the brightest.He took the shower with such ease and pleasure while singing some part of a certain song, humming happily into its funky and perky beats and later on doing some awkward dance moves.He arrived thirty minutes earlier today at Richard's condo unit, appearing quite youthful and reinvigorated as ever. Purely for his own amusement, in the high spirits of this stirring and exciting day,Jayler had been trying to act accordingly, keeping himself pulled together, as he found how endearing Richard could be, who based on the sole evidence of his bachelor upbringing have sethi
It was past ten before Richard arrived at Fidelitea. This was the hour when he found Fidelitea most lovable; the shop was not yet the busiest, the smell of fresh teas making its way to invadehis nostrils never failed to relieve his accumulating anxiety, and he was so eager to kick start the bright day with his indefatigable enthusiasm bolstered by the good night sleep he mustered.Though, a thousand of trembling hearts were beating restlessly in close proximity within this heaving ancient mall, and many of them, after all, would be aching in agony but his heartache wasfar worse than theirs. Considering all of the things, whether all of the good or the bad, that happened in his past, he was impotently reduced into nothing but an incapacitated marionette madeout of fragile skins and broken bones with a deplorable heart from stitches of mismatched parts from varying textiles that were scraped out from the anguishing memories of all of his past lovers.Strang
"What the fuck is that?" He mumbled quietly, precisely questioning what was that that he just felt earlier. His heart was still fluttering like a butterfly until now. The stare was still like the oddestfive seconds of his entire life, it was as though a moment from a romance series where the lead actor accidentally stared at his leading actress and the time suddenly went into a slow phaseof motion happened to him. This was, as far as he knows, the very first time that something like that happened and it was undoubtedly unexplainable that made his heart tramble, jerk and flutter.He walked out of the shower room then went to dress himself. Hardly aware that he had moved, he found himself lying motionless back in his own bed in which he had spent the latter of thecold night, slowly and lazily scrolling down onto his social media accounts. Fortunately, thanks to several groups of fandom that follows him, the girl who posted their kissing photos receivedmyri
Denny was promptly fished out from the short film of bittersweet memories that he was virtually viewing in his mind by a loud ring coming from his cellphone. He came to his sense and tardilypicked up the call. It was Bradey."Hello?""Where are you?" asked Bradey."At home, why?" His voice was soft and broken."Why you sound like that?" Bradey asked inquisitively."I'm watching Korean drama" Denny lied, he doesn't want to but it appears that Bradey doesn't remember that today is Jesse's death anniversary."Oh, I didn't know you watch those stuffs" Bradey knew that Denny hated dramas and he was baffled that Denny is watching Korean dramas."Now you know, now can you please spit the reason why you called because I'm really busy crying about this sick drama" Another lie. Denny truly hated dramas, too much that without beingaware of it, he became one."Er, I just want to ask help from you""Proceed""I'm calling here fr
Jayler decided to stay outside of the guidance counselor's office. He was quivery and unsteady; he kept on moving around, back and forth, doing random things that he thought might keephis nervousness down. Anxiety was sending several swift arrows of thoughts inside his brain. Can Richard make a good bargain with the guidance counselor? Will he be successful? Will hebe convincing enough to act as his uncle? All of it was softly and slowly killing the very most of him and the longer he waits, the more queasy he gets. Slowly, he was losing the dull light ofhope he have and was already on the verge of detaching himself from present towards the future of what will probably happen to him. Finally, the squeaking sound of an opening door awakenedand pulled him back to his sense."How did it go?" The uneasy anticipation of a good answer forced him to run instantly in front of Richard."Shush" Richard shushed him, pulling him into the farthest corner of the b