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Autumnal Ball Pt 4 - Orenda
Last Updated:
2025-01-10 04:23:51
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Not a moment later, I feel my entire body become rigid. An intense, overwhelming wave of energy comes over me almost knocking me off my feet, and it takes all of me to remain standing. I can feel it approaching like a cold, dense fog skimming across the water and cloaking the land with a cloud of unease. I’d know that feeling anywhere. A feeling I should loathe and shiver at, but I don’t. It makes my body feel alive and my essram rejoice in ways I can’t begin to explain. It feels like a black hole sucking me into its depths, and never have I wanted something so much in my whole life. As disturbing as that thought should be, it brings me nothing but comfort.I look to the end of the ballroom, my heart skipping several beats as that energy intensifies. A moment later, the grand double doors are pushed open, and stepping over the threshold without a single care is none other than Azadou himself.The God of Malice.The Demon God.My animai.His bright purple eyes glance around the room wit
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With a deep and unyielding sense of solicitude coursing through me, I race over to the mirror, tearing the vestiges of human modesty from my torso and stare at my reflection in the mirror. My brows furrow, the complete maelstrom of my thoughts clear on my face as with a faltering hand I touch my chest – searching – but there’s nothing.How did she do it?Outside of the Gods, no being has ever willingly touched me. No being ever dared. Is she that vacuous or just ruled by a sense of self-abandonment, lacking in any notions of self-preservation? More importantly…nothing came of her touch. She showed no fear or hesitation as she placed her hand upon my chest. I saw no hatred or disgust in those prism eyes. She looked upon me, pleading, beseeching; her voice soft, confident and firm, yet the very sound of it seemed to cast a spell of calmness upon my being.For the first time since I was torn into this world, I felt frozen. I watched and waited for the malice to take her over…but it never
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Ever since the Autumnal Ball I find myself flying on frequent patrols just to distract myself from reliving the events of that evening over and over again in my mind. I feel like I’m experiencing Groundhog Day. I wake up and set off on patrol only to come home and find my mind plagued by the memory of what it felt like to be in the presence of my animai. To be close enough to touch him and yet still unable to feel that touch. To experience the penetrating stare of his piercing, purple eyes and breathe in his intoxicating scent only for him to just disappear from my life without a word once again. He has neither rejected me nor left me with any inkling that I will ever see him again. This is my hell. Condemned there by my own soulmate.Ayawamat does his best to lift my spirits, but what can he do? How do you mend a broken heart that was broken by being denied true love? Even to me, it sounds unhinged. Every day I try over and over to call upon Merlos for answers, yet day after day she
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“You really are a magnificent sight to behold,” suddenly announces a somewhat familiar and enchanting voice. The coldness around me lifts, replaced by warmth as I turn my head, locking on a set of bright silver eyes smiling up at me as long strands of dark, forest green hair swirl around her radiant face in the breeze.I channel the electricity through my body as I transform back into my human form and face the Goddess before me, bowing my head with respect.“Goddess of Light,” I greet her honourably.“Nope, still not used to that one. Man, does that sound weird,” she chuckles. “Please call me Gabriella,” she says warmly.“I’m Orenda…but I’m pretty sure you already knew that,” I respond with a playful smile, reaching out and shaking her hand, my body immediately feeling light and airy from the contact.“Due to all the craziness we haven’t had a chance to get to know each other, or for me to tell you just how in awe I am of you and your brother,” she says reverently.I can’t help but b
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Without warning, Azadou takes a menacing step towards me, forcing me to back up in retreat but he doesn’t stop. He keeps pressing forward, forcing me to step back until my back hits the edge of the banister, making me wince in pain.“How the fuck did you get in here?” he snarls.I gulp. Again, not from fear. No. I gulp from what the sound of his voice does to me! That deep, base tone of his voice has replayed itself over and over in my mind since the first time I heard it, but my memories haven’t done it justice. It sounds so much better in person.“I was sent here,” I answer him, taking in a deep breath and basking in his scent as my mouth begins to salivate. He smells like the remnants of ash left as a fire burns down. There’s a coldness to that scent and yet it smells calming and alluring, like it’s where I’m meant to be.“Why?” he presses coldly, refusing to allow me the peace of my thoughts or this moment of closeness with him.“Because I want to know what you did to the eyti,” I
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I turn on my heel and storm towards the door, only to be forced to halt in my tracks when the office door slams shut in front of me. I turn to protest, jumping in surprise when I once again find Azadou standing right in front of me, his imposing frame dominating my personal space. His eyes bore down into mine and the scent of him swirls around me like a heady aroma that I can’t seem to shake. It turns my brain to mush and my limbs to jelly yet has my heart breaking into a sprint.“How did you do it?” he asks, confounding me.“Huh?” I blurt out in a daze.He steps forward, once again forcing me to back up until my back hits the door. He places his hands on either side of my head as he leans further into my personal space to the point there’s no space left at all. He cages me between him and the wall, and I find myself gulping down the saliva rising in my mouth as he locks me in place with his hypnotic gaze, his bright purple eyes looking through me as if he’s searching for something be
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As the intoxicating effects of being in close proximity to my animai begin to leave my system like someone detoxing a drug from their bloodstream, clarity finally breaks through the fog of desire and I feel a sense of shame and disgust come over me…yet at the same time, my body is still electrified by the pleasure he brought me.This isn’t fair or right! How can he go from ignoring my very existence and acting so dismissive of me to touching me so intimately like that? I’m sure many women have used the term ‘explore’ to describe the way someone touched them, but I doubt any of them meant it as literally as I do. It truly felt like he was exploring and testing out my responses, but to what end? He never spoke a word; he didn’t seem to show any desire to be with me and yet he touched me like that.I run my fingers through my hair as I let out a scream of frustration, clutching at the roots of my hair and fisting them in aggravation. I’m so angry, confused and spent I can’t even fucking
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I take in a slow breath and then slowly exhale. “Jartre,” I speak softly.I swear the word has barely left my mouth when he appears before me. His pure white hair up in a half-pony and cascading down his back looking almost luminescent. He looks so different now that he’s gotten rid of his beard, not to mention the streaks of deep green he has now. So many changes, and yet, they suit him. Clearly, life with an animai suits him too because he immediately graces me with a warm smile, which I can assure you, wasn’t something he used to do.“Orenda,” he greets me warmly. “How are you?” he asks. And that. Saying my name in such a fatherly way. Asking how I am. I’m starting to think Zarseti might be the most powerful God because the magic she works is on another level.“I’m well,” I smile, coming to stand in front of him. “And you? You look…happy,” I remark.He laughs a throaty laugh, “That unusual huh?”“It’s a nice change,” I respond. “Happiness suits you,” I assure him.He gives me a gra
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As if the growing void sucking the life from my fatigued body wasn’t bad enough, I get to add crippling guilt to my list of woes. Every day Ayawamat is at my side, tending to me and trying to uplift me. Instead of living, he’s wasting his time watching me waste away. Every second that passes, I try to fight off the emptiness. I try to cling to the broken shards of my shattered essram hoping I’m strong enough to survive this. If not for me, then for my brother. If I die…he’d be all alone. That thought pains me almost as much as the aftermath of rejection.There are moments where I feel myself being sucked into oblivion, the frigid nothingness taking hold and refusing to let go, and just I find myself surrendering to it, I feel this charge from deep within. I can’t explain it, but it's like an electric paddle to the soul. It doesn’t last, but when it strikes; for the briefest moment I feel the warrior in me resurge, her voice strong and commanding, telling me not to give up and that I c
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I’ve lived fifty per cent of my entire existence in the body of a human, with all of the weaknesses that come with it, but this is the first time I’ve ever felt helpless.It’s been almost a week and there has barely been any improvement in Orenda’s condition. I’d say she’s clinging to life, but that would imply she’s trying and I’m not so sure that she is. Every day I tend to her. I brush her hair, keep her company, and I try to keep her fed. Soups and broths are the only thing she can get down, but at least it’s something. She speaks the occasional word every now and then, but they take so much out of her that I encourage her not to speak and keep her strength. She’s able to communicate much better telepathically, so she mostly responds that way. While I miss hearing the sound of her voice, I’ll take any form of communication she can manage; it’s a sign she’s still with me and hasn’t given up yet.I put the empty bowl of broth down on her nightstand and gingerly dab some of the beefy
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A thunderous, harrowing roar bursts from my lungs as I throw my right hand out like the strike of a hammer, an intense bolt of purple lightning discharging from my hand and striking through the interior of my home, obliterating everything in its path. I stare at the resulting destruction, my chest heaving and sweat forming on my skin as I remain unburdened from the cataclysmic agony tearing its way through me. I pant, my lungs feeling constricted as if air cannot reach them as a current of purple electricity moves across my flesh. With a strained roar, I throw out my left hand, hurling another bolt of purple lightning through my interior, watching it obliterate everything it touches, but still, I feel no better.Feeling drained, I collapse against the banister, the flimsy material breaking under my weight and making me fall to the floor. I move onto all fours, my fingers tearing through the floorboards like butter as the wood triturates in my palms as I clench my fists. Every cell in
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“Is she…” I trail off, my voice trembling as I fear his answer.“She’s alive. For now,” he answers gravely, freeing my heart from the dread that was strangling it.Jartre sniffs the air, his nostrils flaring and his silver eyes narrowing. In a second, all of Orenda’s bedding is replaced, and her dress is replaced by cosy sleepwear as she’s bundled up under a thick blanket that Jartre tenderly tucks around her. I walk over, my eyes burning from unshed tears as I carefully sit on the edge of the bed. I reach out and softly caress the top of her head, my heart lodging itself in my throat as I feel how cold she is to the touch.“What’s wrong with her?” I ask, my voice a strangled mix of anger and sorrow.Jartre stands up straight, looking down at Orenda with a guilty expression. “She rejected him.”My eyes widen in disbelief. I know I’d made those stupid remarks about rejection, but I never meant them. I know the ramifications of rejection. I only said those stupid things out of frustrati
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I was wrong.I’ve always said that to encounter the eyti is to experience true purgatory, but I was wrong. I now realise that the eyti are more than just shadows of the humans they once were. They are not the epitome of purgatory; they are merely shadows of it. I believed the haunting, empty coldness they leave in their wake was the worst kind of emptiness a person could feel, but as I lay here on the jagged rocks – my essram shattered into infinite pieces as my body barely clings to life – I realise that this is true emptiness.Pain and exhaustion circulate through my body on an unrelenting loop, my eyes too tired to remain open. The devastating feelings of despair and loneliness are so consuming they have erased every happy memory from my mind. I can’t even remember the sensation of happiness, to the point that as I lay here, feeling the life draining from me, I begin to question if it ever existed, or if I imagined it.As the darkness begins to take over, a sudden jolt of electrici
A Queen Among Tempests Rejection Accepted Pt 3 - Orenda
At my words, his mask slips and instead of indifference I now see rage and hatred as clear on his face as it is through our bond.“You blame me for the chaos in the world, but chaos reigned long before me and will continue to exist long after me. Chaos is the very nature of humanity. I didn’t create it, I’m merely pulling back the curtain on it,” he declares, stretching his arms out wide, grandstanding at the terror around him.Tears of anger well in my eyes as disgust burns in my stomach. “From the moment you came into this world, malice has filled your every being and here you are spreading it like a virus and boasting about it as if it were a badge of honour to be worn proudly,” I condemn sorrowfully.In an instant, Azadou is towering over me, his eyes ablaze with fury. “I DIDN’T ASK TO BE CREATED! I was born of your creator’s darkness and hatred because he was too weak and cowardly to face it. You look at me with disgust for being what I was made to be by the very God you call Fat
A Queen Among Tempests Rejection Accepted Pt 2 - Orenda
As if the universe is trying to emphasise Ayawamat’s words, a burst of pressure hits me in the torso, knocking the wind from my lungs and making me clutch the kitchen counter to keep myself in place.“Orenda?” Ayawamat frets, grasping my shoulders, his brows raised with worry.I blink in confusion, placing my hand over my chest as I collect my bearings, trying to figure out what the hell I just felt when I suddenly feel deep and overwhelming rage rising up like a violent tempest inside me.“Azadou…” I whisper.“Now what’s the fucker done?” Ayawamat seethes through gritted teeth.“I don’t know,” I murmur in confusion as I stand up. “Something is wrong…I can feel so much rage,” I quaver, rubbing my chest as if to soothe the emotions intensifying from within me despite our bond not being completed.“Isn’t that him on a normal day?” Ayawamat quips mildly.I shake my head in disagreement, “Not like this. I have to find him,” I declare, marching towards the front door.“Orenda, wait!” Ayawa
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“Are you okay? You’ve barely even touched your ramen,” Ayawamat points out with a concerned lilt to his voice.I shrug, absentmindedly pushing the ingredients around with my chopsticks. “I guess I’m not that hungry.”Ayawamat slides the bowl away from me and takes my hands in his, turning me gently on my stool to face him. I manage to look at him, but the worry and compassion etched deep into his face has my heart clenching painfully in my chest and tears burning behind my eyes.“Did Azadou say or do something? I’m not judging, I swear. I just know that he was here and now…Orenda, I’ve never seen you like this and it’s honestly scaring the fuck out of me,” he explains, his voice cracking from his concern.That did it.I squeeze his hands tight as the tears break through and fall from my eyes. I throw my arms around his broad shoulders and bury my face in his neck as sobs wrack my body and I struggle to breathe air into my lungs. I thought all the crying I did in the shower was enough,
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I rise to my feet, my nostrils flaring as I hold my arms out, reading myself to try again. With lightning speed, Jartre is in front of me, his hands fisting my shirt as his eyes glow silver and bright, his jaw etched in tension.“Dammit, Azadou, stop this! It doesn’t matter what you do or what you throw at me, I am not going to fight you!” he bellows in frustration.“Afraid you’ll go too far and kill us both?” I taunt with a cold smirk.Jartre’s mouth curls in disgust as he throws me to the side, dropping me on my ass like an annoying bug.“When are you going to get it? If the only thing that came from our deaths was you finally finding peace, I would grant it to you in a heartbeat, but this isn’t about you or me. I’m not choosing not to hurt you because I’m scared for you or myself, I’m choosing not to hurt you because I refuse to cause Orenda any harm, especially the kind that could cost her her life!” he shouts, his words coated in turmoil.I sit up, resting my arms on my knees as
