47...Old loves die hard...

RYAN.

It wasn't my intention to question Claire, but I did. I admit that she affects me in many ways. Most times in the past, I take that as something trivial, but now I'm not so sure I can do that anymore, as even at work, her image stays in my head, and I find it hard to push it away.

I want to kiss her right now, I really want to, and I wish I could, but I can't. This is a fake relationship and if she reads too much into my actions, she'd end up getting an emotional pain like every other girl I've gotten involved with.

Charles would come for me if he ever gets to learn I hurt Claire, and even Claire would personally behead me.

Something unrecognizable within me holds me back from taking things far with Claire whenever we're alone. If I'd been with any other girl, and had close sensual contact with her the way I did with Claire, maybe I'd be banging her hard, with her legs up high by now, but this is Claire. I find her different from other girls I've been with.

Whenever I'm