Divorce

After seeing the look in his eyes, I was certain he’d agree to her requests, but instead he’d changed the subject, “I have so much to tell you. So much has happened in the last three years.”

“Why aren’t you answering my questions?” Marina whined, sounding more like a child than a twenty-three-year-old woman.

“Can you just let me enjoy the fact that you are finally awake? Goddess, Marina. I’ve just gotten you back and you want to drill me about things that don’t matter compared to you being okay,” James reached up, tucking a strand of Marina’s hair behind her ear. His fingers lingered lovingly before I watched her lean forward, closing the distance between them and pressing her lips against his.

I didn't miss the subtle dig in his sentence. 

I thought my heart couldn’t feel any worse, but I was wrong. He didn’t bother telling her that he wouldn’t break our sacred vows. We said until death do us part. That was supposed to mean something to him.

Sure, maybe not as much as it meant to me. But he had to feel it. That undeniable pull that I felt. The need to be with him.

In the three years that we’ve been married, he’s never touched me in a loving manner. Not for real anyway. 

Anytime he's put my palm into his hand, or carressed my cheek; It's been for the cameras and not for me.

I’ve longed to feel his hands on my body. Hear the words that he’s spoken to her, whispered in my ear as he caresses my face for real.

Growing up, I never thought of myself as the type of woman who would fall into this kind of situation. I was stubborn, yet strong. My father was the CEO of the most renowned pharmaceutical company that I was supposed to inherit, but I’d convinced him my place wasn’t behind a desk.

It wasn’t an easy task, as my father is a stubborn man, but I’d done it without backing down.

The moment James was brought into my hospital, I swear something in me shifted. He stole a piece of me that I’d never get back and now here I am.... 

“Rosa,” James turned towards where I stood, “The doctor had some very specific instructions for Marina’s at home care that I’d like to discuss with you.” When I hesitated, the words "Right now," growled from his lips. 

Of course he wouldn’t want to discuss anything with me in front of Marina.

I rolled my eyes beneath my lids as I walked out into the hallway. The moment the two of us were in the hallway, he grabbed my arm, dragging me down to an empty room and closing the door behind him.

Before he could speak, I started, “Do you really want to divorce me?”

He looked taken aback that I’d addressed him so directly. I’ve spent years biting my tongue. No more. I wanted to know where his head was at. I needed to know.

James let out a heavy breath before running a hand through his dark, tousled hair, “You were listening?” he questioned.

I nodded in response, a light flush painting my cheeks, "Hard not to hear in a small room," I muttered, trying to feel less guilty about my eavesdropping.

“I don’t know, Rosa,” he paused a beat, “No, I’m not interested in a divorce. But,” he exhaled a heavy breath, looking pained, “You’re still bleeding.”

His eyes moved from mine up to the wound on my head. I had totally forgotten about the head wound the moment Marina had mentioned a divorce.

“Please, can you... maybe stitch it up?” James sounded like it hurt him to even ask and I'm almost certain it was the first time he'd ever used the word 'please' with me.

I nodded, walking over to the medical cart and pulling out a stitch kit. Standing in front of the mirror, I quickly threaded the wound closed, shocked at the amount of blood that had stained my skin.

As I was washing my face, my mind went back to the fact that James Wood said he didn’t want a divorce. A small part of me wanted to be angry that he’d lead Marina to think it was an option but a larger part of me wanted to leap into his arms, pressing my lips against his.

The last time I’d felt those lips was our wedding day, but you could hardly call that a kiss. He’d stared at my mouth for what felt like a lifetime before pecking me for the briefest of moments. His nose scrunched up in disgust after he’d done it.

I spent the entire week afterwards wondering what was so wrong with me that he couldn’t stand the thought of simply kissing me.

We’d never even had sex. Or slept in the same bed.

The only time we truly spent together was when we were faking it for the charity galas and events. He flashed me loving smiles, whispered into my ear, held my hand on his lap. But the moment it was over, he’d return to the man that I knew from behind these walls.

“I’m not ready to give up on this marriage, James. We made sacred vows to one another, and I intend on keeping them,” I glanced at the ground before looking back up. "Who is she to you and why do you feel such a need to please her?" 

 James had begun to smile at the first part of my sentence, but as soon as I mentioned her, the smile fell from his face faster than a drag race.

"Who she is to me is none of your business," he snapped, "We're not divorcing. She's not leaving. You'll get used to it. Understood?"  

I only nodded, and he took that as his cue to leave, leaving me standing there hollowed out and empty. 

“Listen to me,” I heard James plead as I headed back to Marina’s room, “Rosalind is a great caretaker. Not only for the house, but she knows your situation better than anyone. I’m not sure I could find someone to replace her.”

My steps halted as he continued, “Trust me. As soon as everything settles down... I will move forward with the divorce. Just give it time, Marina. Please baby.”

James had just looked me in my eyes and told me that he didn’t want a divorce only to rush back to Marina’s side and tell her the exact opposite.

The ache in my chest was excruciating as the words played in a loop in my head. His voice saying I will move forward with the divorce.

I felt like a fool thinking that I ever had a chance and quite frankly, I’m tired of playing second best to her. Sadness was quickly replaced with anger the more I heard those seven words replay in my mind.

I'd told myself I wasn't going to give up, but it was like my mind was working faster than my heart. The war was lost as my feet moved on their own accord. 

Charging towards the door, I pushed it open with force, “I can’t believe you,” I scoffed, pinning James with my eyes, “I don’t know what stupid game you are playing, but I’m tired of being on the losing end. You want a divorce?” I quirked a brow, “Fine. I’ll have the papers drawn up tomorrow morning.”

Without another word, I spun around, leaving him with a stunned expression.