“Did you see the poem Ryo sent through?” Jameson asks looking down at me. We’re sitting in the McDonalds’ parking lot. We’re waiting for the rest of our friends to come out of the restaurant.
“Yeah, I saw it. It’s very sad.” I say and he smiles at me. I know he’s about to say something I’m not going to agree with. He has this I know everything look on his. He probably thinks the poem is beautiful and happy. He likes to disagree with me all the time. He says it gives us a balanced friendship.
My eyes are closed.
I wish I could see you
I wish the world felt like home
I wish I knew the reason the sky is blue
I wish I knew why water flows
Where do the birds fly to?
Are they searching for something new?
If I asked you, would you give
(Saturday after a Rugby game)“This is your first time at a rugby game?” Oliver asks looking at me. I nod and he smiles. “The school has games all the time why wouldn’t you go?” He asks looking at me like not going to a rugby game is a crime.“I don’t know.” I say honest, it never occurred to me to take the time to watch boys run after a ball. I don’t feel like I miss out on anything by not going to the games.“I find it hard to believe that this is your first game.” He says staring at me. “Our school has the best rugby team in the province.” He says and I look at him surprised, I dint know that.“They’re okay, it’s not like they are the best, best.” Kelly says unconvinced. She loves coming to these games so I guess she’s more versed on this than I am.“No, they really are. You should check out their stats
HeyAre you alright?I noticed how upset you were earlierI hope it’s nothing Jameson and I said.Patient O“What does he want from me?” I say staring at my phone screen. I don’t want to talk to him.I feel like you got upset because of something we saidI just wanted to apologize if that’s the case.I’m sorry Patient O“Why would you think that? I didn’t say that to you did anything to me?” I say talking to my phone. It’s very presumptuous of him no? What makes him think that he did anything to me? Only a guilty person would assume that they are to blame. I stare at the phone and I see the three dots reappear, he’s about to send me another text. You
“You’re really good at this.” Oliver says standing next to me. He moves in even closer to look at what I’m doing on the cutting board. He’s looking at me like I’m solving a math problem on the cutting board. I smile because I’m not doing much but he’s so intrigued.“I’m really good at chopping stuff?” I ask moving away from him a little. He’s standing too close to me. I can smell him and I can even feel the warmth of his body radiating towards me. This proximity is not good for me and I don’t know how to tell him how to move away from me without being weird. I don’t get why he has to stand so close to me. He’s in my personal space.“Yeah, you’re chopping that carrot like a professional chef.” He says staring at my hands. “I never thought I would be mesmerized by someone chopping a vegetable.” He says his voice sounding so soft and wistful.&ldq
“Oh Ryo this smells so good.” Jameson’s mom says smiling at me. She looks at the food on the table like someone that has been starving for years. We are all sitting at the dining table ready to eat dinner. His mother just got home from work and she has to be starving.“Thanks Miss Dee. Thank you for letting me cook in our kitchen, I had an amazing time in there.” I say smiling at her.“You’re an amazing cook, I think I’m going to hire you to be my private chef.” She says smelling the food and smiling. I smile proud that they love the food. There’s nothing more satisfying to have people excited about food that you made.“Ryo was telling me that you have the perfect kitchen. She says everything is in the perfect place.” Oliver says excitedly. I can hear Jameson sigh deeply, he’s been doing that every time Oliver says something about me.Every time they have this interaction I feel
I watch Miss Una read the script and realize we’re fucked. She going to say it sucks. She keeps raising her brows in surprise with every line she reads. She doesn’t like it. We need to go back and work on it and that means more awkward study sessions. I can’t wait.“This is cute.” Miss Una says looking at the script. I sigh annoyed I knew it. She thinks it need edits. I told them not to rush this but they didn’t want to listen t me as usual. Maybe they’ll listen to me from this point forward.“Cute doesn’t sound good.” Kelly says frowning. She too can tell that Miss Una doesn’t like it. Oliver scratches his head a little frustrated. He looks at me frowning, I shrug and he smiles. I look away quickly; he really needs to stop smiling at me like that. My beats too fats every time he shows me those pearly whites“What do you mean? Cute is a good thing, puppies are cute, babies are cute. Those ar
“Are you nervous?” Oliver asks when he pulls into a parking lot. I look in front of us and there is a yard filled with cars. I smile looking at the endless line of cars in front of me. I don’t why but I suddenly got excited looking at all the cars. Today feels different, I’m optimistic I’m going to find my car here. Maybe it’s because I have Oliver with me but I’m confident.“I’m excited.” I say opening the door. I can’t wait to see what’s beyond what I’m seeing in front of me.“Wait.” He says and I pull the door closed. “We need a strategy for when we get in there.” He says his voice getting lower like he’s sharing a secret with me. I smile confuse d, when did we get serious? I thought he was excited to do this.“Okay.” I say sitting back and he nods smiling. I look at him sideways waiting for an explanation. Why are not going in?
“Is this your spot?” I ask Oliver and he smiles shaking his head. We’re sitting in the backseat of his car looking down at the city. I think this is the best view of my hometown. We’re high up on a cliff, it’s so high up I bet the city gets completely covered in mist in the mornings. I take a deep breath enjoying the clear air. I love it out here.I don’t know why he brought me here but I’m glad he did. This is the perfect end to a good day. I think I found a car, and fingers crossed I’m going pick it up tomorrow. I don’t think my day can get any better.“No, I don’t have a spot. That’s so cheesy.” He says smiling at me. I feel so judged by the look in his eyes right now. This is a beautiful place I would see why someone would think of it as special.“I guess.” I say looking at the judgment radiating from him and I can’t deny that it is cheesy. The truth is I love che
“Why did we have to meet here again? We could have easily met up at the paintball place.” I say looking at the time. Jameson and I are waiting for the rest of our friends to get here. Colin decided we should go paintballing. We haven’t had a boys day since the two of us had to do the English assignment.The group feels neglected and we’re stressed out. We need to do something fun to let out some steam. I bet Jameson is looking forward to shooting the sit out of me. I’m not his favorite person right now. He doesn’t approve of me hanging out with Ryo. He’s made it abundantly clear that I’m a heart breaker and I don’t deserve to breathe the same air as her.“You know Colin likes to meet up at a location before setting off to the destination. Convoys with his boys give him joy.” Jameson says and I can tell he’s still annoyed with me. I just nod smiling. He looks at me his
21 days later Kelly Jameson and I are having lunch in the school garden. I’ve been at this school for three years and this is my first time here. I didn’t know students were allowed to have lunch in the garden. Jameson is the one that put Kelly and I on this very public secret.He invited us to have lunch with him today; he says we have to hang out again. Apparently he misses spending time with us. We stopped hangout after Kelly’s backyard movie night. We decided to take a break from each other for a while but we never got around to reconnecting.The assignment is still on hold and neither of us has the nerve to bring it up. Life has been good without the stress. We still have time to get to it; we just need a little longer to get our shit together.“I’m so excited for your date tonight.” Kelly says clapping her hands and jumping up and down at the same time. I cringe at the mention of my date. J
“What did you do?” Jameson says when he opens his front. I laugh the moment the words leave his mouth. Why would he assume I did something? I just got here and his mind is already filled with accusations. I fear we will never fix our relationship, he’ll never trust me again.“I didn’t do anything to anyone.” I say and he raises his brows at me in question. Yep that’s the look of distrust. “I am in need of a shoulder to cry on though.” I say and he looks at me curiously.“Come in.” He says standing aside so I can walk into his house. “I’m in the kitchen making lunch. Are you hungry?” He asks leading me to the kitchen. I smile the when I walk in, memories of Ry walking around this room flood my mind. She had a blast cooking for us that night. I can still taste the food we ate, she’s an amazing cook. It’s a shame she won’t be cooking for me any time soon. I blew tha
“You’re really a morning person aren’t you?” I ask Oliver looking at him nervously. He showed up this morning out of nowhere. He sent me another one of his I’m outside text and yet again he was standing outside my house. Only this time he didn’t come bearing any gifts. I could have used a hot cup of tea and a doughnut. At least the sugar would have given me a boost to deal with the shit storm that’s about to hit me.And I’m a little sad we’re not sitting in my mother’s plant room, we opted for a walk around my neighborhood. And he doesn’t seem to be happy with the walking. He was so happy sitting in the plant room though. He was smiling the whole time. I didn’t invite him in because my mother is home. She wouldn’t mind having him over but I didn’t want to create more confusion by introducing him to her. I don’t want things to get anymore weirder than they already are.Beside
“What happens now?” Kelly asks staring at me. She’s sitting on my bed with her feet tapping on the floor over and over. She’s so excited she can’t sit still and the smile on her face is going to make her face hurt in the morning I wish I was excited as she is, I’m still reeling from kissing Oliver. That was both unexpected and emotionally charged. My body is still buzzing.“I can’t believe the two of you are finally going to date. I told you he likes you.” She says and I shake my head. She’s jumping to conclusions, neither of us talked about dating. We just kissed and the he was gone. I don’t think that means we’re going to live happily ever after.“I don’t know.” I say shrugging. “I don’t think the kiss meant anything more than that. We just wanted to kiss each other that’s all.” I say and she just looks at me her face
“I guess the movie is really that boring huh?” Oliver says as I stir awake. It takes a minute for me to make sense of what is going on. I open my eyes wider and I gaze into Oliver’s eyes. I’m lying fully on my back; my head is on his tummy. When in the hell did I get into this position? Why am I this close to him? So much for keeping my distance, I’m the one assaulting him now.“When did I fall asleep?” I ask sitting up. I look at the projector and the movie is still playing but I wouldn’t tell you what it is or which part of the movie is playing. The backyard is so quiet; everyone is concentrating on what’s happening on the screen. No wonder I fell asleep, the only sound out here is the movie and nothing else. It’s so silent it sounds like a fancy cemetery, creepy I know but that’s what it feels like.“As soon the movie started.” He says smiling at me. Wow I got so upset
Group chat:PSAYou are all invited to one of the best parties of your life.Tonight at 7 pm It’s time to let go, let loose and have fun.I don’t want to hear anything about school tonight. I don’t want to hear any excusesEveryone has to be there (I mean you Ryo)If you don’t show up, we’re not friends anymoreKellyI don’t think going to a party is a good idea.I don’t really do well in social situationsRyo I second thatI don’t feel like going to a party.Can’t we do something less crowded
8 am Saturday morning.I’m outside and I come bearing giftsPatient O I turn onto my back and read the text again. What does he mean he’s outside? Is he outside my house? Why? I wish had a room that faced the main street. I would be peaking at him in the window right now.You’re outside my house?RyYesCome to the front doorPatient O“Oh shit” I say reading his reply. What in the hell is he doing here? This is not how I saw my Saturday going. I was looking forward to a quiet and possibly boring weekend. I don’t have to worry about today so I was planning on having a very lazy Saturday. But life seems to have other plans for me. Oliver is at my door on a Saturday morning? Where do we go from he
“Why did we have to meet here again? We could have easily met up at the paintball place.” I say looking at the time. Jameson and I are waiting for the rest of our friends to get here. Colin decided we should go paintballing. We haven’t had a boys day since the two of us had to do the English assignment.The group feels neglected and we’re stressed out. We need to do something fun to let out some steam. I bet Jameson is looking forward to shooting the sit out of me. I’m not his favorite person right now. He doesn’t approve of me hanging out with Ryo. He’s made it abundantly clear that I’m a heart breaker and I don’t deserve to breathe the same air as her.“You know Colin likes to meet up at a location before setting off to the destination. Convoys with his boys give him joy.” Jameson says and I can tell he’s still annoyed with me. I just nod smiling. He looks at me his
“Is this your spot?” I ask Oliver and he smiles shaking his head. We’re sitting in the backseat of his car looking down at the city. I think this is the best view of my hometown. We’re high up on a cliff, it’s so high up I bet the city gets completely covered in mist in the mornings. I take a deep breath enjoying the clear air. I love it out here.I don’t know why he brought me here but I’m glad he did. This is the perfect end to a good day. I think I found a car, and fingers crossed I’m going pick it up tomorrow. I don’t think my day can get any better.“No, I don’t have a spot. That’s so cheesy.” He says smiling at me. I feel so judged by the look in his eyes right now. This is a beautiful place I would see why someone would think of it as special.“I guess.” I say looking at the judgment radiating from him and I can’t deny that it is cheesy. The truth is I love che