Chapter 6: Not a Wolf

Selyna’s POV

     After telling the coven about my Dreamlink they decided that it is witch business and that for the time being we should keep it to ourselves. There is a spell that will allow me to share what I experienced in the link with the coven, so that they can perhaps gain insight that can help me. The spell requires us each to sip an elixir from a chalice and an incantation, however the main ingredient for the elixir is a rare flower that is not readily available. Alicia is growing some in her greenhouse, but it won't be ready in bloom until after the winter solstice, 4 months from now. If we still have need of it we will do the spell after that.I will be an official coven member in a little over a week and that will increase my strength and strengthen  the coven as well. 

     I lay in bed the morning after meeting the coven. Ashe wasn’t home when I crashed last night, so I haven’t seen them since yesterday morning, but I am really hoping I didn’t talk in my sleep again. Those dreams! I have barely even had any contact with him, yet my mind comes up with all the scenarios…right before I woke up it was one where he came to our apartment (I don’t know why) then walked right into my room, taking his coat off and sitting on my bed, then grabbed me and pulled me to him…just as we were kissing I was awoken by a car alarm across the street. If that alarm drives me nuts I can imagine it is much worse for wolf shifters. It’s early and I don’t have to be anywhere, but I am awake now, so I may as well go make coffee.

    Sweet elixir of life! Watching it drip into the pot, smelling the bitter goodness makes me think back to the coffee shop. I gotta go back there, their mochaccino is really good, the atmosphere doesn’t hurt either. I think I’ll pop in there later and get myself a “pretentious coffee” . While I’m at it I’ll see what I can find out about the live music lineup. They had some fliers on the door saying “Live music on Friday and Saturday” with a list of local bands. That voice in the back of my head keeps telling me that it certainly doesn’t hurt that we coil run into Damian there. I need to avoid him, but I really want to see him again. I hardly know him, I’ve only met him twice and both times were brief. 

     I pour myself a nice hot mug of bitter goodness and amble over to our little bistro just as Ashe appears in the doorway, holding on to the doorframe and stretching. “Goddamn, car alarm! Thank you for making the life giving elixir, Selyna!” Ashe grumbles as they scrub their hand over their face and walk over to the coffee pot. They grab a mug from the cabinet and pour themself a mug before joining me at the bistro. Ashe looks like they had a rough night. “When did you get in last night, bestie?” I ask.

    “You mean this morning?” they laugh and shrug. “Alpha Sean let me run patrol last night with some of the other young wolves and then we bit the bar…erm, rather bars.I guess it was after 2 a.m. because I remember being at one of them for last call and everything closes at 2 a.m.” 

     “Ouch! That was only about 3 hours ago, how are you standing?” I say, looking sympathetically towards my friend. 

    Ashe settles further into their chair, slouching down and stretching their long legs out in front of them. They yawn,” I am sitting, and barely doing that at this point, besides as a Shifter I can manage better than a human or even witch.”  They sigh deeply then continue “Look, I know you don’t want to talk about it, but I think you stand a chance with Damian and if anything can make him less bitter it would be a good fucking!”

     “ Do you have to be so crass?!” I huff. I know we are both over tired, so I am probably overreacting to what Ashe was thinking was funny, but it was really grating on me. Yeah, they hit a nerve…I am trying not to think of Damian, definitely trying not to think of him pulling me into his muscular arms and kissing me. Definitely not imagining him shirtless. Damn! Now I am thinking of him shirtless…I need a cold shower.

    Smirking, Ashe says “ So Alpha Sean is gonna let me start training with his pack. He says that once Damian, Spooky and Riff get back I will be training with their squad. He said you could train with us too, but we will need to assess your physical strengths and healing time.” 

     “Why would I train with shifters, Ashe? I don’t have a wolf!” I am definitely overreacting, because I am practically shouting. I feel tears welling up, but refuse to cry.

     “You don’t need a wolf to train, we do train in human form just as much as wolf form, and we wouldn’t expect you to go up against a wolf, at last not at first. Besides you heal fast, faster than most witches, heck I have seen you use magic to heal faster than a wolf. Remember that time in gym class when Sadie tripped you and…”

      “ JUST STOP! I. AM. NOT. LIKE. YOU.” I shout and the tears are now leaking. “I don’t have a wolf” I whimper and I don’t know why it bothers me so much…it never bothered me before.

     “ Selyna, you don’t need a wolf, you just need to be you.” Ashe tries to soothe, but I have already crossed the room, leaving my mug and heading off to take that shower.

    I shut the bathroom door and let the tears fall. I don’t know why this is all bothering me so much, I don’t know why I am angry at Ashe. We never  fight, not since we both wanted the purple crayon from the box we were sharing in second grade. I just remembered that what Ashe said implied that Damian was away. I wonder  where he has gone. Will he be back before the Back to School Dinner? It’s none of my business. I decide a bath is more appealing right now and fill the tub. Still crying I  look down at my hands. They look strange. I never saw the runes before, but there appear to be runes glowing on the back of each hand. I blink and the runes are gone. I must have imagined it in my current state of mind.

    I add some epsom salts and a blend of essential oils, rosemary, cedar an citrus…fresh and clearing. It should clear my head and wake me up. As I soak I hear a light knock on the door “Selyna, you know I love you. You will always be my bestie! I just want to see you happy” Ashe hums through the door, their voice turning nearly lyrical. “I worry about you. I want you to be able to protect yourself and maybe have some fun.” I could respond and Ashe would hear me even though I heard them stride down the hall, but instead I sit with my thoughts.

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    “Why does it bother me that I have no wolf?” I mumble to myself as I get dressed. I pull on a Sleater Kinney t-shirt and boyfriend jeans, lace up my chuck taylors and pull my hair up in a messy bun. 

     Just as I am about to head out Ashe shows up in my doorway “ you are perfect just as you are and Damian or any other person you fall for would be lucky to have you. You don’t need a wolf” they softly say.

     My mouth quirks up on one side. “I don’t know what has gotten into me, it feels like I am missing something and suddenly the thought of not having a wolf is upsetting. It never mattered before” I confess.

    “You didn’t have the hots for a certain surly Alpha to be, before,” Ashe muses then adds “ You could give it a chance, from what I learned hanging around the packhouse yesterday he never really pays any girls attention and those looks Saturday were not just one sided. He was totally checking you out.”

    I roll my eyes ,”I am not like you, I don’t get a soulmate until after I turn 21, you can find fated mates at 16, and I don’t fully understand how the whole thing works, but I am sure there are other differences.”

    Ashe wraps me in a big hug “Just don’t ignore your heart, I hate to see you hurting” they say kissing me on the head. 

    I head out to the coffee shop with my earbuds in and my favorite playlist playing in my ears. I decide to get my mochaccino to go and grab a music flier then walk through the pedestrian mall to the Common. Walking along the path, I spot a big tree with a perfect spot against the trunk. The roots form a low seat and I lean my back against the trunk while sipping my drink and listening to my music. I let my thoughts wander.

    Pretty redhead stops and stoops by me. When I pull my earbuds out she smiles, “hey, looks like you are feeling better!”

    It takes me a few minutes to register where I know her from but I realize that it is Kirsty and incline my head “um, yeah…i am conscious now and don’t plan on fainting again.” I manage a light giggle.

    “I heard that my sister sought you out and that she pulled the “future luna” crap. The kid is delusional, but she means well” Kirsty manages, the smile leaving her lips as she talks.

    “ It’s fine. It’s not like any of that matters to me. I’m just the witch that can’t handle power surges and passes out. Wolf business is wolf business and witch business is witch business. We can be friends and allies, but we don’t need to be in each other's business.” I state simply.

    “Well, my best friend, Heather, is mated to Spooky, Damian’s choice for future Gamma and she told me that Damian seems to have an interest in a little witch. I figure that is you, so wolf business would be your business especially if it pertains to you.” she confides as if it was a conspiracy.

    I can’t help the smirk as I reply “ I have no idea of Damian’s intentions or affections, but we hardly know one another.”

    “Does that matter? If I had not yet met my mate and he showed the slightest interest I would let that hot wolf ravage me” she giggles.

    Something in me feels angry at the whole ide. I suppress a growl and sigh, “He is hot. Grumpy but hot.” I think a moment, “hey, how old were you when you met your mate?”

    Kirsty beams, “Well, Adam is 2 years older than me and was on a mission when I turned 16, it was nearly 6 months before he managed to be home during one of the festivals. He had made it for the Flower Moon Festival, and our wolves were drawn to one another, as soon as our eyes locked and we scented each other the bond had hold of us. We just knew it was fated. That was almost a year and a half ago.” 

     “So you are 18 then? Or nearly 18” I ask, curiosity getting the best of me. I quickly blurt out “how old is Damian?” A blush rises in my cheeks when I realise what I just asked.

      A giggle on her lips Kirsty replies “I turn 18 in 2 weeks and to answer your other question, he is 22. He will be 23 in march.” She winks and smirks “So do I tell Heather and Spooky to encourage this interest?”

     I sigh and ponder what she is suggesting. I ponder what I want. Can I even afford to entertain this idea? What do I say?