She was dead.
Myra was dead.
The words kept repeating themselves in my head but I was struggling to come to terms with it being real.
Unfortunately, I had only remained unconscious for a few minutes before Aleric had managed to wake me up. I found myself on the couch inside and answered all of his questions as best I could, though albeit very robotically.
By the time I had finished describing where Myra was and her current state, Aleric had quickly left to go get the patrol team scouring the area for rogues. I told him about my dagger that was used, the one from the cave I'd left behind, and even about Thea. What she looked like, where the two of them had been, and that I'd told Myra to talk to her.
No one really listened to me after I'd mentioned the rogue knife though. They all immediately went on to high alert mainly looking for them, not Thea. Everyone had thought since my missing dagger was used, that it was the rogues trying to
Three days.It had been three days since Myra had died... and I felt suspended in time, unsure over what to do next.After that night, I had arrived home and walked straight into the shower. The process had taken a while since I had needed to peel off all the clothes that had stuck to me; their condition no longer salvageable at all and would need to be thrown out.I'd stood under the showerhead and watched as the hot water turned red all around me, washing away all the evidence of what I'd done. But it wasn't enough. Even when the water had begun to turn clear, I started to scrub at my body. I scrubbed... and scrubbed... and scrubbed... until my flesh was almost as red as the water had been.But even then, I could still see it. I could still feel it.It hadn't been enough.*I*hadn't been enough.For three days, I’d done nothing but lay in bed, barely eating or moving. It was all I could do.My parents had
It was another two days before Myra's funeral was held.The event was held outdoors and, though I tried my best to hide my more distinguishable features to not stand out, I still took precautions by keeping a distance from those attending anyway. I didn't want to face anyone, let alone speak to anyone on this day.Something easier said than done with the large turnout.So many people here had cared for and loved Myra; so many people that she had touched with her gentle nature. It ranged from family, teachers and even some of the older children who lived at the orphanage. And whilst I couldn't see them from where I stood at the back, I knew Aleric and Cai were in attendance somewhere too.So many people were grieving now just as I was... It was a difficult thing to come to terms with given I felt so responsible for taking her away from them. Was this how the families cried when I had killed innocents in my past life too?As the sun began to set, the
Aleric didn't look reassured by the answer I'd given but he let me go anyway, the two of us walking back over to where Thea was laughably pretending to act scared.I scoffed at her appearance, much to the curiosity of the warriors standing around.Aleric ignored me and walked up to her, crouching so they were eye level. And even though I felt the urge to murder Thea more than anything in that moment, I couldn't help but feel a pang of distress echo inside me seeing the two of them so close together again. I knew it wasn't remotely the same as in the past and I shouldn't care anymore, but the reaction was involuntary. It was just more fuel for the pain I was nurturing inside."Your name is Thea, correct?" Aleric asked.She just nodded, her eyes wide with fear as she looked around at everyone surrounding her."We've been trying to locate you for almost a week now. Where have you been?"Her voice was exactly the same as how I remembered it. I c
"Kiss me," I said."...What...?"After leaving home, I'd headed straight to where I knew they would be. Somewhere I knew that I definitelyshouldn'tbe.But there was no hesitation as I'd confidently walked up and knocked on their door. And when Cai had answered, I'd ignored his confusion and demanded the one thing I knew could make me feel better.Because if it felt anywhere near as good as the first time, then maybe it would be enough to make me forget for a moment that everything was falling to pieces around me."Kiss me," I repeated.His eyes were wide, stunned at my request, but he wasn't moving. I could see he was still in the same attire he'd been in earlier; the formal clothes making his body somehow look even more fitted.I quietly sighed impatiently whilst his head tried to comprehend exactly what was happening."Aria—."However, I didn't wait for him to finish his sentence. It wasn't w
On my way to the hospital, I had time to process some of what had just happened.I could still feel it; that hum of energy deep inside me I'd never known was there. It was as if it was suddenly awakened, brought forward by my desperation and pain. This was true authority, I knew. Something I'd never realised existed, nor did I think anyone else had either. If they'd known I had this control, I was sure they would have tried to lock me up sooner. There was a huge difference between following me by choice due to being chosen by the Goddess, and me being someone with an ultimate authority to control others by force. I was now an even larger threat to the traditional hierarchy.Upon arriving, I could see the hospital was quiet. There would only be skeleton staff around at this time of night so it wouldn't be hard to navigate my way without being seen. This was particularly important since I didn't need further cause to jeopardise my current position.It only t
I walked up and approached the stump slowly, unsure if I even wanted to proceed.Just being here made me feel sick. Ever since coming back, I'd always purposely avoided this place, knowing it would dredge up memories that already haunted me more than enough.And that's exactly what was happening.I could see flashes of it all happening before me again as if it were real. An alternate reality where I was convicted of a wrongful death.I saw the faces of the pack members as they stared at me with such malice, parting the crowd to let me walk up. I saw the Elders sitting in the chairs assembled in a semicircle... and, of course, Aleric and Thea. Thea who was seated in the Luna's seat.In a daze, I continued to walk forwards, the large oak stump beckoning me on like an old friend. Had I become delirious? When was the last time I had even slept? The combination with my weakened state probably wasn't doing me any favours as it all felt so real.Bu
‘I killed you,’ I whispered in my head.‘You did nothing wrong and I killed you.’"Ahh...," was the only sound that left me.I was fairly certain that telling him that information didn't exactly scream that he could trust me; a vital part of any possible relationship to start. Would it be wrong of me to keep it a secret? It seemed like such an unnecessary gamble to ruin something that didn't need to be tarnished so quickly."...Aria?" he prompted."I'm trying to remember," I lied.I could see it now... his eyes changing to become wary, unsure of who I was. His death was just the start of a list of names whose lives I had ended up claiming. Would he see me as a murderer?I swallowed back my hesitance and cleared my throat. If I was willing to finally put the past behind me then there was no reason to ruin my future because of it."No," I eventually answered. "I... can't recall ever having
"Aria?" Cai asked, pulling me from my thoughts.He gently reached out and poked a finger between my brows, making me realise I was frowning."You've got that look on your face," he said. "The one that usually tells me you're overthinking something... Should I be locking the bedroom door to prevent your escape?"Instantly I relaxed, smiling a bit at his joke. I hadn't realised he'd learnt my expressions so well."I'm sorry," I said, as I stared into his pure golden eyes that had always made me want to melt. "...I'm not going anywhere, I promise. I... I want to be with you too, Cai."'Even if it's just temporary,' I finished in my head.Cai had been there at the beginning of my return, witnessing my worst moments and helping me even when my plans were insane or not his concern. He'd been there for me when I'd cried and broken down, unsure of who I was or who I could lean on. And it was true he'd ended up hurting me, but I'd hurt him t