I couldn’t get back to sleep after that dream. No… that memory. That haunting, painful memory. The image of Kieran’s eyes filled with so much hatred still weighed on me. Everything from the way he spat my name, to the way he looked at me… it was as if he despised me more than anything else. And I could understand why, given what I’d put him through. But just like the memory of those burning hazel eyes, another detail had lingered with me as well. The rejection. The searing pain of having my soul torn in half, a hole forming inside that threatened to make me lose my sanity. Why had I told Clarissa that the pain wasn’t so bad over time? I couldn’t imagine that feeling ever granting any respite. Yet this was a process I apparently started to initiate first in every timeline. Rejecting him immediately before doing much else. I willingly put myself through that pain… and I’d promised to do so again in this one. ‘…Whatever it takes.’ That was the rule I’d said in the memory, and so
“I… Rheyna Knight… of the once lost Silver Mist Pack,” I started, my voice barely louder than a whisper. “Hereby reject y—.” …But I wasn’t able to finish the sentence. Because I’d been wrong… so wrong. I could see that now. I didn’t recall that prior timeline memory to prepare myself for the pain I’d feel upon completing the rejection. No… I’d seen it as a reminder. A reminder of why I shouldn’t go ahead with it. And as his lips came crashing down against mine, immediately cutting off my words, this newfound realisation seemed so obvious. Why hadn’t I seen it sooner? It was as if something inside completely broke down the second he reached for me. Now all that was left was this connection drawing me to him. It was so incredibly strong, almost impossibly so. Like this was something I was meant to be doing. I didn’t have the resolve to resist him, instantly kissing him back. There was an urgency in my response as if I’d been starving for this. To just feel the sparks and desir
“Allison…?” Kieran repeated, warily. “How could Allison have that sort of capability?” Clarissa had been explaining everything to Kieran for quite some time. Everything from her connection with Selene, to what triggers the end. …And also about me. He’d been quietly taking it all in so far but after Clarissa had finished talking, he finally spoke up, albeit he seemed to be slightly dazed. An understandable reaction. Clarissa shrugged. “She devoted her whole life to her faith. That sort of connection is incredibly difficult to sever. It just goes to show the potential that even those without our lineage abilities can possess.” “And… Rae…,” he said, slowly turning to me. “You’re… a Saintess now? How many times did you say…?” “This is the seventh timeline…,” I answered. “Though I don’t have any of my memories.” Or, rather… I had just one. Clarissa hadn’t gone into too much detail regarding my previous involvement with him, thankfully, but he still understood that it was mostly… u
“Found you,” Kieran said a little while later. After talking to Zac, I’d climbed up onto the roof, hoping to think and reflect by myself for a while whilst Kieran had a shower. The storm was currently only in the distance, it hitting the hardest during the prior conversation. Now, all I could see was the brief flashes of lightning amongst the clouds. “Interesting spot,” he mused, looking around. “I usually sit here to keep an eye on things,” I replied back quietly. “I can see why. You’ve got a good view of the forest… with the added beauty of the sky.” He then looked over at me with something in his eyes that caused my cheeks to burn a little. Apparently, he didn’t even need to speak or touch me, simply his presence and gaze alone were enough to send shivers through me. I stared at him for a moment, a longing inside my chest, but still couldn’t quite work out why he’d stayed. After everything he’d learnt about me, after everything I’d done… somehow, he hadn’t given up on me. …H
“Aria…? The….?” my voice trailed off, almost as if I were in disbelief. She simply smiled at my reaction though and nodded her head. “I’ve been watching you for a while now,” she continued. “You’ve been through so much. I’m so sorry you’ve had to experience any of this. I know better than any how unpleasant it can be.” “You… how can you be here?” I asked, still confused. “Here? You mean in the Abyss? This has been my home for many years now. I learnt how to navigate its plane and break free of my memories back when I was alive. Not like Selene is around to keep tabs either. Finding you before Clarissa revives you was the difficult part though.” “…Then why are you here? Why did you try to find me?” And she then looked up at the stars above, a longing in her eyes. “…Because I felt it was time I intervene,” she said. “I swore to stay neutral but, with every death you endure, my heart breaks a little bit more to watch. How many times will this be now, Rheyna…?” Her eyes then met m
“You made a promise!” Clarissa yelled. “The morning is here now, Kieran. Time for you to make good on your side of our agreement and leave.” “I’m not leaving until I know Rae is okay,” Kieran argued back. “You saw her yourself. She was passed out cold last night.” “And why would that be, huh? Care to share?” “As if I would know why, Clarissa. Stop thinking that I have some ulterior motive here to hurt her.” “Fine. Then if you won’t leave, consider our deal brok—.” “Woah!” I quickly yelled, rushing in to stop her. “That’s enough.” Their heads both swiftly turned to look over at me, relief evident in both of their faces to see me awake. “Rae!” Kieran greeted, moving towards me. He quickly touched my face, examining me as if I were a hospital patient. It warmed my heart to see that he was so worried... but the new sensations brought by his mark were making it hard for me to focus. It was as if everything I’d felt for him before had been heightened tenfold. ...This might take a l
“Why are you still being so moody?” she asked me, speaking as I carried her on my back.Between her behaviour towards Kieran and whatever plan of Clarissa’s this was now, I was certainly more quiet than usual.“I’m not,” I mumbled, continuing to walk.I’d agreed to go to the meeting, if only because I’d been the one to request that my cousin come here originally. As Clarissa had said, it would have been rude to make him come all this way only to then ignore him.“Are you being like this because of this morning?” she asked, sounding concerned. “Or did something happen last night?”However, after she’d gone and organised this without consulting me, and after she’d treated Kieran so terribly, I really wasn’t in the mood to put up with her questioning.“I thought you said you didn’t care what happened between us?” I snapped back, quoting what she’d told me in the kitchen. “So stay out of it.”And she was instantly quiet after that.I continued to walk into the nearby forest for some time,
It was dark by the time we made it home, having spent the whole day with the Hidden Moon talking.After my conversation with Jax, the two of us had returned to the camp and the topic of war wasn’t broached again - much to my relief. I went through the motions and enjoyed my time meeting the Hidden Moon members, but all the while dreaded the conversation I would need to have once I returned home with Clarissa.She had been worn out to her limit, I could tell. Being out of the home and needing to be so alert for so long had taken its toll on her. Her face was paler than normal and her coughs were more frequent. But even though I was concerned for her, I couldn’t help but still feel salty over her behaviour. Especially at her attempts of overruling our initial agreements.“I’m going to bed…,” she mumbled, starting to shuffle her way there.We’d only just stepped through the door when she announced it, not even bothering to justify herself about today.“No,” I simply said, making her paus