I'm a Cassanova

That night, as he arrived home, they all had dinner as a family and he couldn't help but notice the excitement on his mother's face as she made jokes and laughed with this strange girl that was making his life miserable.

 "I told you Sola is learning so fast. She prepared half of this delicious jollof rice," Mrs. Eno said in appraisal.

"Mom, you like teasing me," she said and they both laughed.

"When I leave tomorrow, make sure to apply all the tactics I taught you, okay?" She said and she nodded like a kid.

He sighed in disgust as he watched the two women. His eyes fell on her and his face hardened as they both stared at each other for a while.

After dinner, he made for the stairs but he stopped as he heard his mother calling his name.

"Son, come over please," she called and he walked down the stairs immediately.

"Sola," she called to his strange future wife and she quickly left the dining table and walked to the living room where both mother and son were sitting.

"I want to pray for you both so your union will last," she offered.

"What!" They both exclaimed.

"Yes, as per traditions," she said with her eyes looking at the couple who were staring at her in dismay.

"Close your eyes," she ordered.

He sighed immediately and shut his eyes angrily. With his eyes shut, he heard his mother pushing Sola to join him on the couch. They both sat beside each other and she joined their hands together forcefully.

He opened his eyes and tried to speak to his mother but the words became stuck. Feeling her hands in his, he looked at her face angrily and she blew him a kiss which infuriated him the more. He gave her the side-eye while she continued to giggle silently as his mom showered prayers on them.

"May this union never be broken. It shall lead to marriage and bear enough fruits," the prayer continued.

 "Amen," he heard her utter in approval and his eyes bulged.

"Nosa, you didn't say Amen," Mrs. Eno remarked.

"I..I said Amen," he lied.

"Say it loud and clear," she ordered.

He scratched his head with his angry eyes looking at Sola who was smiling sheepishly.

"Amen," he muttered and shoved her hand away from his.

He stood up immediately and she stood up after him.

"You're both going to bed? Hope you've not been fornicating in this house?!" Mrs. Eno said after them.

They both stopped abruptly with their mouths agape as they turned to look at her.

"Um..no..mom," she refuted while shaking her head with a smile.

"Better," Mrs. Eno said with a smile. "See you tomorrow," she added.

"Yes, mom, goodnight," she said as she bade her goodnight and walked up the stairs.

Walking into the room, he began to pace angrily and he stopped for a moment as he saw her stepping into the room.

"What was that for? Are you so desperate to get a husband?!" He yelled.

"I beg your pardon?" She asked, walking past him to the bed.

"Yes, what's that Amen for? You don't know how powerful my mom's prayers are?!" He asked immediately.

"Oh, I never knew. But it's never gonna happen, I mean, who would want to get stuck in marriage with a moron like you," she said with a chuckle as she sat on the bed.

He swallowed hard and kept silent as he watched her drag the duvet over her body.

"Can't wait to get rid of you," he muttered under his breath as he walked to the bed to grab a pillow.

"Heard that," she said as she made herself comfortable on the bed.

Without a word, he walked to the couch and laid with the pillow on his head.

"Switch off the lights please!" He grumbled from the couch.

She chuckled and heaved a sigh of relief.

"I'm glad we don't have to argue over this one. I don't sleep with the lights on," she said as she switched off the lights.

He heaved a sigh and remained silent thinking about everything happening in his life at the moment. How did he get here? He thought. Well, by tomorrow, everything will be over, he said with a warm smile on his face.

The next morning, Mrs Eno got ready to leave and they both walked her out of the house with her luggage.

"I'm gonna miss you, mom," she cried as they both hugged by the car side.

"I'll miss you so much my dear. Don't worry, Nosa is going to bring you to the village, okay?" She said with a smile.

"Aww, that would be lovely," she gushed as her eyes trailed towards him.

He raised his bump fist towards her and she looked away Immediately.

"Um, okay mom, safe journey," she said as she bade her goodbye.

He watched his mother step into the car and he walked away from the car to where she was standing beside the car.

"I'm driving my mother to the bus stop; You know what to do before I return. I don't wanna see any trace of you," he said and she swallowed hard as she watched him walk over to the car.

*

Driving home with excitement, he stepped out of the car and hurried into the house. The whole place was calm and he didn't see any trace of her.

"Thank goodness! I'm staying away from roadside girls for the rest of my life," he said with a sigh of relief as he walked to the stairs.

Just then, his eyes fell on the dishes covered on the dining table and his eyes bulged. He rushed towards the dining table and uncovered the dishes.

"What the fuck is this?!" He flared as he saw watery sauced egg with large slices of tomatoes and onions swimming in it. He also saw slices of bread on a tray and tea covered beside it.

He began to breath heavily and he felt like crying at the moment. He heard her footsteps from the stairs and his knees became feeble.

"What did I do to deserve this?" He cried as he turned slowly to the stairs.

"What?" She asked, looking surprised.

"And you're still dressed comfortably in my clothes! What the hell are you doing in my house, uh?! Didn't I ask you to leave?!" He barked with his eyes turning red.

"I..I made you breakfast..," she tried to explain.

"What stupid breakfast?!" He yelled as he banged the table with his fist.

"Did I ask for your poor miserable oceanic sauced egg?!" He spewed in her face as she walked closer to him.

"Oceanic sauced egg? What does that even mean?" She asked, looking at the food on the table.

"What's wrong with my food? I..I did my best," she said as she picked up a dish from the table.

"For God sake, I didn't ask for your best! All I asked is for you to be gone! Grab your bags and leave!" He yelled.

She kept silent and he stormed up the stairs. He walked into the room and began to pace angrily. What can he do to make her leave? He thought.

He picked up his phone and called Jason.

"She's still here, she still hasn't left!" He cried.

"Calm down, Amos. Why hasn't she left?" His voice sounded from the phone.

"Because she's here preparing some miserable sauced egg!. I don't know what to do anylonger. I want her out, I want her out, Jason," he cried bitterly.

"Okay, seems like you're stuck with this one. I think the universe actually brought her to you. You know how much you've dreaded marriage and I think this is the only way you can get married," Jason said with laughter.

"Is this a joke to you? I'm stuck with a girl I don't know where the hell she came from! She's like a bone in my throat!" He cried.

"Okay, call the police on her," he suggested.

"Nah, that's not going to work. In this country? No," he said, shaking his head in dissaproval.

"So, what are you going to do about it?" He asked with concern.

"Call the boys. Call Derrick and Ben and let them know my predicament. You shouldn't tell Madison about it, please. I don't want her running her mouth so Alex wouldn't find out," he said and Jason laughed.

"I won't tell Madison about it. When was the last time you checked on Alex?" He asked.

"It's been a while, man. I've been too busy. I heard she moved out of the mansion with Adrian. I'll check on them this week," he said.

"That's great. I'll call you back when I'm done discussing it with the boys," he said.

"Fine," he said grumpily and hung up.

As soon as he hung up, the door opened and she walked into the room. He swallowed hard as she walked to his front and stood before him with her arms akimbo.

"What?" He asked with disdain.

"Mom says I should do your laundry before I leave," she said.

He scoffed.

"As what? My girlfriend or fiancee?" He asked.

"Show me the laundry room," she requested.

"Sola or whatever you call yourself. I'm not ready to get stuck with a woman. Look at me," he said, rising up on his feet.

She swallowed hard as she looked at his face which was closer to hers.

"I'm a cassanova, that's what my friends call me. I'm not ready for a relationship; I'm not ready for marriage. I know you're so desperate to get a husband but the truth is that, I'm not ready to settle down plus, I don't even know you.

Look, I can help you get a husband if you want. This is not the way to go about it. You can't suffocate me this way and expect me to marry you," he said and her eyes welled up with tears immediately.

 "Look, Sola, you're a beautiful woman and you don't have to force yourself on a man to be accepted. You're suffocating me, you're killing me," he said and a hot slap landed on his cheek.

The room became tense as he held his cheek in disbelief.

"I'll find the laundry myself!" She barked and stormed out of the room immediately.

"Wait..what? You're not leaving?!" He yelled as he ran after her.