A Heart in Conflict

ROGERIO

It would be easier to categorize whatever I was feeling at this point under having “cold feet” regarding the wedding, but that wouldn’t be entirely true. Since my conversation with Maria and other interactions with Elena, I have been subconsciously comparing my experience with both women.

Being with Charlotte was undoubtedly a marriage of convenience; there was a spark somewhere in the beginning of the relationship. At least she liked to think it was something tangible at the time, but as much as I didn’t want to admit it, being with Elena was different. It felt unreal. Every time we spoke, every time she complained about the marriage preparations, I wondered if there was an angle to it.

Since the divorce, my life had become a cycle of asking questions I didn’t have the answers to. Marrying Elena had always been the plan, if she hadn’t left when she did. Our relationship would’ve blossomed or withered; either way, I wouldn’t be at this crossroads, wondering if it was better to