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Dark memories
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2024-10-29 19:42:56Related chapters
A Castle of Secrets Truths
My chest heaved as the sound moved closer. I stared up at the paintings on the ceiling, trying to focus on anything, but my chest burned from lack of oxygen. Something grabbed my arms, pulling me up, “Lily, deep breaths.” My panicked forest locked with equally panicked ice. One. Two. Three. Four. Elliot’s eyes never left mine as I came down from the high. Five. Six. Finally, my racing heart began to level out and Elliot pulled me flush to his body, just holding me. The tears began flowing as I realized what I’d done. Another panic attack. I haven’t had one in so long. I'm usually able to stop them, but the stress of everything that happened today must have sent my mind into a frenzy. But as I was coming down, my eyes traveled the room, realizing how absolutely fucked I was. This was my sanctuary, and I’d just blown it wide open. I pulled away from Elliot, scooting backwards while holding the towel tight to my chest. “You have to go,” I whispered, frantically lo
A Castle of Secrets Final tour
In the weeks following our deep conversation in my oasis, Elliot retreated. Our relationship returned to the way it had been before. He avoided me any chance he could, and I pretended as if my life wasn’t spiraling out of control. As much as I tried not to let it bother me, it did. The silence was deafening, and I longed to know more. Something about his words fed into my curiosity. He’d given me enough to wonder, but not enough to put the pieces together. I wanted to know more, but I was too stubborn to push. If he was interested in a relationship of any kind, he would have to be the one to open up. Chaos had been nearly absent, given that fact that Elliot and I barely spoke. For some reason or another, I craved him. He’d only shown me lust, and nothing more, but maybe that was enough for me? Maybe that's all I'd ever be to anyone. The desire for him to touch me grew stronger every day. I longed for it. Stole glances at Elliot in hopes of seeing onyx black in place of icy blue
A Castle of Secrets Panic Attack
My heart stopped beating as I locked eyes with Zach. I tried to take short, shallow breaths, but nothing satisfied the growing burn in my chest. My lungs felt as if they'd been set on fire. Slowly moving my hand down to grasp Elliots, I squeezed tight. His head snapped towards me, but I was frozen in place, unable to peel my eyes from Zach’s. He looked indifferent. Unbothered by my presence. How? How can you stare into the woman’s eyes that you assaulted and feel.... nothing. I felt everything. The terror of knowing what was going to happen to me. The weight of his body against mine. The dirty, ruined feel of my body when I finally woke up, alone, in the woods outside of that party. The dryness in my eyes from laying there, sobbing for hours. The way that every day, for years, I looked in the mirror and saw the handprints, smeared mascara, and leaves matted in my hair. The panic attacks when I relived the moment. And to top it all off, the fucking shame of him knowing my darkest d
A Castle of Secrets Your worst nightmare(Elliot POV)
TRIGGER WARNING(Torture) It didn’t take long for Lilliana to fall asleep after I’d stopped talking. She looked utterly exhausted. Hearing her mother speak to her when she was so obviously not well was disgusting. She was like a goddamned disease that Lilliana needed to be free of. I’m not sure why I told her about Gweneviere. Just thinking about that chapter of my life leaves a bad taste in my mouth, but seeing the genuine look in Lily’s eyes made the pain less. “So, what are we going to do about the prick at the school?” Chaos questioned, sounding annoyed that I’d put it off for so long already. “I’d like to kill him,” I growled, remembering the way Lilliana had reacted as soon as their eyes met. I glanced between them in that gymnasium and the fucking pig had to audacity to look smug staring at her while she slowly fell apart before our eyes. “Now we are on the same page,” Chaos sounded overly cheerful about the prospect of killing the coach. Not that I blame him. He hurt L
A Castle of Secrets Starless sky
TRIGGER WARNING(Torture/Sadism) “Where are we going?” I was still lingering between awake and asleep. Elliot’s arms held me tight to his chest, bridal style, as we walked through the woods. He was eerily silent and hadn’t spoken a word to me since I woke up. “Elliot, what’s going on?” My voice, though still laced with sleep, was firmer this time. He didn’t pause his stride but glanced down to look into my eyes. For the first time, I didn’t see the inky black swimming within his icy blue pools. “I’ll explain everything when we get there,” he whispered, turning his attention back towards our destination. That was cryptic. Resting my head against his chest, I reveled in the way it felt. This might be the most I’ll ever get from Elliot. This little breadcrumb of affection. But he could be taking you to murder you.... Throw you into the deep, black abyss hiding beneath the church. Maybe his Lycan finally won their little battle, and he’s ordered him to tear me to piec
A Castle of Secrets Raw connection
A loud knocking on my door startled me out of a deep sleep. I leaped out of bed, hurrying over to the door. “Seb, what’s going on?” I whispered, rubbing the tiredness in my eyes with the ball of my palm. “Your mother would like to meet with you this morning,” he glanced around me to the bed where Elliot was sleeping. I followed his gaze, and my cheeks flushed remembering the dream I’d had last night. He was sleeping without a blanket, and turned away from me, as he always did. “What time is it?” I yawned, feeling exceptionally sleepy today. Blinking a few times, my eyes tried to adjust, but my mind wasn't catching up.“I miss you,” he dodged my question, “My days have been lonely without our training sessions. Can we please at least spend time together? I know I screwed up. I just... I don’t want to let your father down by disobeying your mother.” I didn’t hate Seb, I just...wasn’t particularly interested in anything we had before. I have so few people in my life that I can
A Castle of Secrets Seven months
My mother was speaking, but I couldn’t focus on the words coming from her mouth. I could still hear Elliot’s words. I could still feel him all over me. Inside of me. He had remained eerily quiet since we arrived, but I could feel his presence all around me. Everything changed this morning, and I don't know whether to be elated or terrified. “......I had to push out the ceremony two weeks since the alterations on your dress aren’t complete yet,” my mother’s voice sounded irritated, “I’d suggest you make sure you watch yourself until it arrives. I’d hate to have to push it back again.” Rolling my eyes, I blew out an exaggerated breath. Her words were a threat, one that she would happily dole out either way. It didn't matter what I did or didn't do; she would make my life miserable.I chose to ignore her dig. The dress was created for the crowning ceremony of every princess. It was a beautiful, deep emerald, green. The bodice was fitted, with crystals adorning in a webbed pattern
A Castle of Secrets King and Queen of Nymeria
I can’t stop staring at myself in the mirror. Seeing Nymeria’s crowning dress on a hanger and having it on my body was like being in two entirely different worlds. The dress fits like a glove after alterations. The corset had a mesh overlay, showing the creamy color of my skin beneath its green hue. Gold crystals created lines before falling off into a leaf like design on the tule of the skirt. The shoulders were slightly structured, giving the whole thing a more regal appearance. I felt beautiful twirling back and forth. My auburn hair was curled in soft waves, void of any clips or barrettes that would take the shine away from my crown. I’d opted for softer makeup, with warm tones to bring out my green eyes. “You have destroyed that dress for future generations,” my mother’s voice pierced my eardrums from behind. “Would it kill you to bite your tongue when you feel the need to speak your venomous words at me?” I turned to face her, wishing that her words didn’t hold as mu
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A Castle of Secrets Prologue (THE END)
“I think these may have been the greatest idea you’ve ever had,” I moaned, savoring the taste of another blueberry. My basket was nearing full, despite the fact that I’d eaten probably a hundred while picking them. Elliot had suggested we plant a garden full of fruit trees and bushes so that "we could relive meeting every day." Those were his words, not mine. The moment he'd said them, I swore someone had switched out the man I knew with some strange creature. “Aren’t all of my ideas superb?” Elliot quipped, watching me with a smile on his face. Standing on my tip-toes, I pushed a blueberry into his mouth, causing his eyes to widen, “See?!” “I’m just shocked you’d stick those dirty fingers into my mouth,” Elliot shook his head in mock irritation, “But the blueberry is delicious.” “Such a pain in the ass.” Elliot winked, “You knew what you were signing up for.” Sitting the basket on the wood, I pushed myself up onto the deck before flopping onto Elliot’s lap dramatica
A Castle of Secrets Didn't make it to hell
A soft knock on the door startled me, “May I come in?” Stella whispered, holding out a tray of coffees. “Of course.” She held the tray up, “I brought enough for everyone. Chaos knows he’s welcome to hang out. In the open,” Stella raised a brow, pulling a coffee out and handing it to me. “He says he prefers to be closer to me. Apparently next to me isn’t close enough,” a soft laugh escaped my lips, “Inside of me is the way to go.” 'Don't act like you don't love when I'm inside of you,' Chaos quipped. I could imagine him wagging his brows at the double meaning. He's not wrong. In either respect. Though I couldn't fathom the thought of being intimate right now. Maybe ever if I can't figure out how to fix this gaping hole that I call my heart. She rolled her eyes, “So dramatic, that man.” I nodded in agreement as Chaos separated from me, narrowing his eyes at Stella, “You do realize that I can hear everything. Is it a crime to want to be inside of an amazing woman?” he w
A Castle of Secrets Need him
Do you ever feel like your life is a series of moments threaded together, but one piece pulls away, unraveling everything as you know it? My father’s death created somewhat of a domino effect for me. I was like a rosebud. I had the potential to be something amazing, but without the proper nutrients, I would die before I bloomed. My mother had tried to starve me of everything I essentially needed to flourish. But in the end, she gave me the one thing that would change everything. I’ve been staring mindlessly out this window for what feels like a lifetime, but it couldn’t be more than a week. I've lost track of days, hours, minutes, seconds. None of that matters anyways.It’s stormed every day since he’s been gone. When I was a pup, the storms terrified me. I’d cry until Dallas relented, allowing me to stay in his room with him. Then, when he was gone, I’d welcomed them. Needed the sound of the thunder to fall asleep, like a baby needs a pacifier. Now, it simply feels as if it’s
A Castle of Secrets Good enough
“El..... It.... hurts,” I choked out, as pain spread through my body like wildfire. My body tensed up, feeling as if I’d been tased, “Di.... did I....do it wrong?” Elliot offered me a small smile. Even through the pain, I noticed his eyes were red and glassy, “It’ll be over soon, baby. You did perfect. Just, squeeze my hand.” Screwing my eyes shut, I focused on baby blues in the darkness, feeling the warmth of his hand while I waited for the pain to pass. Then, everything was numb. My body felt as if I were floating on a cloud. Warmth enveloped me as I opened my eyes. I felt different. Like parts of me were missing while simultaneously being filled with something new. Something better. “Fuck, kitten. I’m so proud of you,” Chaos praised in my head, “So fucking proud.” A choked sob escaped my throat, my eyes finding Elliot staring at me with his head tilted to the side. The glassiness was still present in his eyes. Relief flooded his features when I nodded at him, silently
A Castle of Secrets A hero(Chaos POV)
I’m so close to destroying everything. This mortal Earth is nothing without her. It would cease to exist without her presence. Her eyes haunt me every time I close mine. I’d wrap myself in every variation of emerald, green just to feel closer to her. I underestimated that walking fucking garbage can. Cassius was a waste of space and a disgrace to our kind. He’s been on some sick power trip for hundreds of years, mingling with the lowest of our kind. After we figured out what he was doing, my father sent me to murder those who aided him in becoming who he is. It is forbidden to go against the laws in hell. Despite being demons, we are to follow the law of Hades and never stray. We abide by a strict code, where Hades has the final rule. It prevents literal chaos from ensuing. Without order and discipline, Hell would be a madhouse. But we each hold ourselves to a certain standard and it typically worked until him. He consumed unwilling souls, learning ways around the law to bene
A Castle of Secrets The moment everything changed(Elliot POV)
TRIGGER WARNING: Mention of suicide Have you ever thought that you’d experienced the worst kind of pain, but really, it was nothing compared to the next thing? Or something that even follows that? In one moment, you think to yourself, ‘It can’t get worse than this,” but then, it always does? That’s what this feels like. Lilliana asked me what I thought would happen if she sold her soul to Chaos.... Would I feel our souls tearing apart? Would I feel the pain of rejection.... or would it be so much worse? Is she choosing him over me? “Elliot, you’ve been silent for what feels like a lifetime,” her soft voice broke me from my thoughts. “I....I’m not sure.” “Stella explained to us that Cassius wants to combine our magic. Light and dark. If I am the light magic, and Chaos is the dark magic; Do you think it’ll have the same effect? Will Chaos then become the stronger of the two of them?” Lilliana paused for a beat, “It has to be the same. Maybe better, because I’d be willing to g
A Castle of Secrets Need to get out of here
I had a dream last night. I wasn’t here, in this cell anymore. I was back at the little, dilapidated house near my oasis. Everything was as it would have been. No broken walls or rotted wooden floorboards. It was a home with light and warmth. The little home felt like it was mine.In the background, the sound of a record player ticked. Like the needle wasn’t quite hitting the groove as the record spun, creating an eerie sound.I walked towards the sound, lifting the needle, and causing pure silence. The type of silence that created a ringing in your ears. It was too much. Was I all alone here? Carefully adjusting the needle, a soft, haunting melody began playing. When the party’s over by Billie Eilish I stood before the warmth of the fire, hearing nothing but the soft piano in the background of the song. Closing my eyes, I swayed to the beat, humming along with the words. The urge to dance with someone was strong, "Elliot, dance with me," I called out into the silence, turning
A Castle of Secrets Geodes
TRIGGER WARNING:SA Sleep never comes easy when you lose track of time. I’m officially unsure of how long we’ve been down here or what time of day it is. That goddamned light flickering invades the darkness every time I close my eyes. Drip. Drip. Drip. “Where are you even coming from?!” I screamed at the water slowly dripping, then disappearing into the concrete. “Are you yelling at water right now?” Elliot groaned, making me gasp. He’s been unconscious for what feels like forever. “Thank the goddess,” I scrambled over to the adjoining wall. My heart beat rapidly as I stared at him with pleading eyes. Elliot looked like he’d been through the wringer. Dried blood surrounded his mouth as well as dripped from his temple. He had bruise marks around his neck in the shape of hands. The rise and fall of his chest seemed labored with every breath. “Never felt better,” Elliot forced a smile that didn’t quite meet his eyes. His icy blue looked like they’d lost their light, appearing g
A Castle of Secrets Medusa
Elliot looked at the ground before running his fingers through the mess of hair on his head. I stared, waiting for what he was going to say. The more I watched him, the more I realized how nervous he appeared. “The last few days without you kind of sucked,” his voice was low as our eyes met. I couldn’t fight the laughter that bubbled out. Shaking my head, I smiled, “I missed you too.” He relaxed, chuckling softly while shaking his head, “Just call me out like that.” My laughter died down as I shrugged, “If you’re going to tell me a truth. Make it the truth. Deal?” “Okay,” Elliot whispered softly, “Your turn.” “Are we making this a game?” “How about twenty-one questions?” Elliot raised a brow, watching my reaction. Before I could say anything, he read my mind, “I promise to be honest.” Heat flooded my cheeks, nodding slowly, “What’s your favorite food?” “Starting off cutthroat with that question I see,” Elliot winked, “A good burger does it for me. Extra pickles. Pepp
