Humiliating

I was not deaf, but his words made no sense in my brain, as if he was speaking a foreign language. 

“I-I’m sorry. I think I misheard you, sir.” I said and licked my dry lips. “How is that possible? The King wants to get married to me?”

O’Horan deeply sighed. 

“No, Miss Whelan. You are to be a breeder.” O’Horan had a gift, I guess: speak important and make it feel as if he was talking about some indifferent event with no consequences whatsoever. Damn him!

A breeder. Not a wife. Not a mate. I was going to be a breeder. 

“You mean, the King will use my body, make me give birth to a pup and then what? He will take the child from me and I’ll never hear again about the baby?” I asked and O’Horan said nothing, he remained unmoved, his hands behind his back. “You’ll toss me into the dungeons? Or put me to work at the mines? I don’t want to be a breeder! And if I ever get to have a child, I will not be parted from it!” 

“That is not something you should concern yourself with.” He said in a low voice and when he looked back at me, I knew what he meant. There was sorrow in his eyes, as if he was saying he was sorry. 

“You’ll kill me, right? You’ll kill me after that.” I asked but he didn’t have to answer with words. His eyes gave the answer. 

“Please, just be still. It will end sooner than you think.” 

“It is easy for you to say. You’re not the one who will be forced to have intercourse with a stranger and become a breeder.” I knew he was only following orders, but I couldn't contain my rage. “How can you cope with that? How can you sleep at night knowing what you did?” 

I practically spat the words at him, but O’Horan didn’t react. 

“I’ll be back in an hour. Be ready and don’t make a fuss. It is for your own wellbeing.”

I had to laugh! 

“I’ll die in the end! Now or in a few months. What is the difference?” 

He, who had already turned his back to me, looked behind his shoulder. 

“We’re all going to die, Miss Whelan. The way we die is what makes the difference. Not when, but how.” With that, he left. 

I felt a warm hand on my shoulder and I knew it was her, the only one I could count on. 

“Nanna!” I couldn’t hold my tears anymore. I just couldn’t! 

“Shhh, my child.” She said and caressed my back, taking me to the bed. “Casey, look at me.”

“Nanna, he will…” 

“There is no escape. You’ll have to endure it. I know it is not easy, and If I could, I would suffer in your place.” She said and I knew every word coming out of her mouth was true. “But it cannot be helped. We must have hope that the King will change his mind, he will not be able to go ahead with it. Or.. That he won’t kill you after the child is born.”

“Maybe I won't get pregnant.” I said, but what I really thought was: maybe if I kill him, he won’t be able to touch me. But the maids were there and as much as they didn’t talk - to me, I was sure they could listen very well. 

Zaila only nodded and whipped my face. 

“Let’s take care of you. You must be presentable. Better have the King in a good mood than offend him, me dear.”

An hour later, I was left in that room. When the door closed, everything went so dark that I panicked. 

“Wait, don’t leave me here!” I was almost getting down on my knees, because my whole body was trembling with fear. 

The click of the door opening made me take a step backwards and then, the delicious scent of dark chocolate and spicy. I shook my head, because I had to concentrate on what was important at the moment: save myself. 

It was, without a trace of doubt, a male. And of course, and a high rank one. I could see nothing, because the room was too dark, but even so I tried to take distance from the door. It finally opened. The light coming from the outside made the huge Alpha Ling look like a shadow monster, coming to end me. It didn’t take long for him to be on top of me, making me feel like a little lamb, the easy and weak prey of a predator. My back sank into the soft mattress. 

“Please, don’t. I-I don’t want you!” I started to fight with all my might. Kicks and punches. I could not see, but I didn’t care. I had to fight! He was bigger and stronger and my brain knew that, but my subconscious couldn’t accept that he would really do that. “I prefer to die than be raped!”

The tears were running down my face and I heard him mutter something I could not understand. All I could tell was that he was not happy. Then, he got up from the bed and soon, the lights were on. 

The first thing I saw were his eyes. Orange eyes looking at me. Those eyes I saw when I first arrived. The silver hair was glimmering under the light. 

“I am not a rapist!” He growled and approached me. Just then I could see he was torso naked and I looked away, feeling embarrassed.

“Put some clothes on!” I snapped at him. Me and my mouth. 

“Clothes…? We are about to have sex! Why would I put clothes on?” He asked me in a tone that was a mix of rage and confusion. 

I looked at his face, trying to ignore his absolutely gorgeous body. I was not blind and even though he was a jerk and my tormentor, I couldn’t ignore the fact that he was the most handsome male I had ever seen. 

“I won’t have sex with you! Unless you’ll rape me, but know that I will fight until the very end!” My heart was beating as if it could get out of my chest. It was almost painful. I was becoming dizzy with all the adrenaline running in my veins. 

He stayed there, looking at me, hard. His lips were tightened in a thin line and his jaw was clenching, as if he was fighting against something. 

“Damn it!” He turned to the wall and hit it. I jumped in surprise and saw how his back muscles were tense. The king said nothing more, he didn’t look back at me, he just opened the door and left. 

My body was trembling and I couldn’t stop the sobs coming from my mouth. I was relieved that he left and I could be feeling miserable on my own, but then, what about the next day? I was in my fertile moment and it would last at least two more days. I had to be thankful that I didn’t have my wolf yet, otherwise, I would be in heat. A she-wolf in heat will want a male no matter what and it is a very dangerous moment for females without a mate. But without the wolf awakened, I was still as a human would be. 

Nobody appeared there to take me back to the bedchambers the Alpha King had given me to occupy when I arrived at that place. I stayed on the bed, curled up. At some point, I ended up sleeping, because when I opened my eyes, I saw Nanna looking at me with worried eyes. 

“Nanna?” I asked and tried to look around. I was back in my bedchambers. “Nanna!” 

I threw my arms around her and let out all my sorrows. I had to cry it all out. 

“It is ok, my child. It is okay.” She said as she hugged me back and I felt something wet on my shoulder. She was crying, just as I was. 

“He didn’t.” I finally said. “He didn’t do it.” 

I remembered then how he froze after I asked him to stop and that I didn’t want him. He really did stop and didn’t rape me. 

“He is not a monster as we thought, huh?” Nanna said and I frowned. 

“He is not a rapist, at least. But it doesn’t mean he is any good!” How could she defend him? 

“Casey, honey, he stopped. We should be happy for that. He might not be good, but he could be worse.”

I knew she was right. I was a slave and as so, I had no rights. Nobody would take my side. Not against the King. 

“If he was any good, he wouldn’t keep slaves in the first place.” I said bitterly. “Let alone sex slaves!” 

“You are not a sex slave, child! That Selene forbid it!” She said in horror. 

“What now?” I asked without much emotion and she shrugged. 

“We’ll have to wait.” Her answer was full of sorrow. 

I spent the night thinking about what happened and those orange eyes wouldn’t leave my thoughts. How could such a splendid male be so cruel? Ok, as Nanna said, he could be worse, but even so… He treated me with disregard on a very serious level! Now that I had time to think, I would like to talk to him again, not in a bedroom of course, and stand my ground better, not screaming and crying. So humiliating!

When the morning arrived, O’Horan visited me once more and I tensed. Was he there to tell me we would ‘try’ it all again?