Chapter 4

Brandon’s POV

I opened my office door and walked in. I went over to the couch that I had slept on many nights in the past. I was so caught up on replaying Lexi’s words in my head, that I didn’t even notice that Teddy was sitting in one of the chairs at my desk.

“Uhm, Boss?” He asked cautiously.

I jerked my head up to look at him. “Teddy, I didn’t realize that you were in here. Is there something that I can help you with?”

He watched me for a moment trying to gauge what kind of mood I was in. “No, I just wanted to make sure to remind you that you have that meeting with the pharmaceutical rep at 1:30.”

“See if you can reschedule it for later this week. Tell them that there was an emergency with one of the computer systems that we use to run the pre-trials.” I said without a second of hesitation.

Teddy gave me a curt nod as he walked towards my office door. “Yes, sir. I will let you know the new day and time.” He shut the door behind him.

I laid my head back down and closed my eyes, letting my mind drift back to the events that led up to the day that I will always regret.

There were two squads that were heading back to our base after a day handing out supplies to the towns people. We had been in our trucks driving along the dirt roads, keeping an eye on our surroundings, but also joking around at the same time. Mark, Thomas, and I were in the second truck with two more of our guys: Brock and Mathers. We were all a bunch of young guys fresh on our first tour. We felt like we could conquer the world.

Mathers was behind the wheel and Mark had been giving him hell about being nineteen and married. He couldn’t understand why anyone would want to be tied to one person for the rest of their life. Mathers started laughing at him, because he was whining like a little kid. The next thing we all know was that our truck was airborne and the one in front of us was in flames. We didn’t even make it back down to Earth before we started taking heavy fire.

Thomas was the first to get his awareness back and engage. When Mark and Brock joined him in the fight, I made my way up to Mathers to check on him. He was gone, and his face is something that I have never been able to forget. I took his dog tags, put them in my blouse pocket, and grabbed both of our weapons before climbing out of the truck and taking cover.

The four of us moved back to the group of men that were taking cover at the truck behind us. There were fourteen of us in total, all fighting to make it out alive. Mark and Thomas were standing to my left and Brock was standing to my right. He and I were watching our flank. I looked over at him and told him to keep his eyes open, right as he took a bullet to the chest. I still don’t understand how it missed his vest, but it did. By the time the rescue team made it to us, we had lost another six men, with one barely hanging on.

Thomas, Mark, and I all had various amounts of shrapnel in our bodies from the truck explosions. The damage that was done was bad enough for us to be sent back to the states. So, after a few days in the field hospital and another few weeks in a hospital in Germany, we made the trip back stateside.

After that day, I was never the same. I physically came back home, but I was still in the middle of a war-zone in my mind. I wasn’t sleeping or eating. I got triggered by the smallest of things. I felt like I was a danger to everyone around me, and I was scared of the things that I was capable of doing to the people I cared about.

My fears were solidified the night that I hurt my mom, and the next day was the day that I wrote the letter that ruined it all. I wouldn’t allow myself to hurt her and I couldn’t bear the thought of her seeing me as less than before, but even worse, her sympathy and worry would have finished breaking me apart.

Mark and Thomas were my saving graces. We were there for each other when the darkness became too much. If it hadn’t been for the support we gave each other, I can’t say that we would all still be here today, but we are.

The knock on my office door jerks me out of my memories, and I sit up. Thomas and Mark walk into my office, the looks of concern showing as they take in my appearance.

“Dude, what happened to you?” Mark asked as he sat down on the couch beside me.

Thomas sat down in the chair opposite the couch but didn’t say anything.

I took a deep breath before looking at Mark. “You were right.”

“Well, I always am, but could you care to explain what I was right about this time?” Mark looked at me in confusion.

I rubbed my hand through my hair, trying to find the words to make it make sense. “Fate, man. You were right about it.”

They both sat there waiting for me to continue.

“You remember how we were talking earlier about the girl from my past? Well, that girl is Dr. Montgomery. The girl that I regret leaving behind, walked into this building this morning wanting a job. Guys, she’s definitely not a girl anymore, and she hates me. The woman who has a permanent residence in my heart hates me.” I choked out those last words.

Thomas was the first to speak. “So, what does that mean? You aren’t going to offer her the job?”

I glared at him. “What kind of person do you think I am?”

He sighed and put his hand on my shoulder. “Do I really need to answer that? You will always be one of my brothers and will always have my support, but you are a very prideful man.”

I didn’t let him finish his train of thought before I stood up.

“Yes. She is still getting the job, but I don’t know how I am supposed to handle working with her. There is so much history between us, and I can’t act like there isn’t.”

“Well, you are going to have to figure that crap out. You better not mess this up either. You have an opportunity here, Brando. Don’t let your pride get in the way again.” I was dumbfounded that those words came from Mark instead of Thomas. Mark wasn’t one for the romantic kind of stuff.

“You got the contract ready for us to go over?” Thomas tried to ease some of the tension in the room.

I got up and went around my desk to my computer. After pulling up the contract, I moved out of the way so that they could both go over it.

They didn’t even say anything to me about the contract. Mark just nodded, and Thomas sent it.

“Guys, I think I’m gonna call my mom. She always knows how to handle these kinds of situations.” I picked up my phone.

“Good idea. We’ll leave you to it then, and Brandon,” Thomas said hesitating for just a moment, “whatever you do, don’t push her. That will never win her over.”

They gave me a slap on the back before heading out of my office. I picked up my cellphone and found my mother’s number. I inhaled deeply thinking to myself that it was now or never. I know that I was going to get a lecture from her once she found out about today, so I might as well tell her first.

My heart is pounding in my chest as I wait on my mom to answer her phone. I’m not sure exactly why I am so nervous about telling her about today. Maybe it is because Lexi is like a daughter to my mom and she never understood why I shut her out like I did. Mom and dad were always so sure that Lexi and I were destined to be together. I wasn’t sure what I believed anymore.

“Hello, Brandon.” My mom’s voice brought me out of my thoughts.

I could tell by her tone that she already knew what happened this morning.

“I guess you talked to Kathy?” I asked quietly. I couldn’t help the guilt that was laced in my voice.

“Actually, I talked to Lexi. I was having lunch with Kathy when Lexi called her. What did you say to her? Am I going to have to whoop your butt like I used to?”

I chuckled at the thought of my mom spanking me at the age of thirty-three, but I also knew that she was dead serious.

“I’m not sure what you find so amusing, Brandon.” I could hear the exasperation in her voice and knew that I needed to be very cautious of my words. My mother might be in her fifties, but she was still a force to be reckoned with.

“Sorry, mom. I know that it isn’t funny, but I couldn’t keep the image of you whooping my butt out of my head.”

“Well, you might want to try a little harder.” She paused for a second before sighing.

“What did you say to Lexi to get her so upset? Is it your mission in life to completely break her?”

I gasped at my mother’s last question. I couldn’t believe that she thought so little of me, but at the same time, I understood why she asked.

“No, mom. You know better than that. I never wanted her to get hurt. That’s why I did what I did in the first place.”

My mom knew why I did it, both my parents did, but they never agreed with it. They even told me that one day I would regret my decision, and they were right of course. I realized how stupid I was too little too late.

She was quiet while trying to find her words. “I know you didn’t, but you did. You still are, and I won’t allow it any longer. You fix this, Brandon. You fix the damage you caused, because Lexi doesn’t deserve to be a casualty of a war that she was never part of.”

Those words got to me. My mom has never once spoken to me like this. I didn’t know how to react to it. I wanted to be mad at her insensitivity, but I couldn’t be. She was right. I let my own demons bring Lexi down too. Even though I tried to protect her from myself.

I could tell my mom regretted her words as soon as she said them. She saw how broken I was and how long it took me to get to where I am now.

“Brandon, I shouldn’t.” I cut her off before she could finish what she was going to say.

“You’re right, mom. I never looked at it like that, but that’s exactly what I did. I made her a casualty of a war that she was never in.”

My heart broke in two as the realization hit me full force. I had been in denial for fifteen years, but now I had to try and fix it. I wasn’t sure if I would be able to or not. I knew that Lexi hated me. She had every right to hate me. I abandoned her without a second thought about what it would do to her.

“Thanks, mom. I needed the tough love. I promise that I will try to fix it. I will talk to you later. I love you.”

“I love you, too. And I know you will do your best.” She hung up before I could say anything else to her.

I sat there staring at my phone for what seemed like hours. I was trying to come up with a plan of action. I knew I was going to have to work hard when it came to fixing things between Lexi and me, but I was determined to do it. I was so deep in thought that I dropped my phone when it started ringing. I picked it up and looked at the caller ID.

It was a number that I didn’t recognize. I was going to let it go to voicemail, but my gut told me to answer it.

“Johnson. Who is this?” I asked once I answered the phone.

I heard someone breathing on the other end, but they didn’t say anything.

“I’m not in the mood for games. If you have something to say to me, then I suggest you just say it.” My voice sounded angrier than I meant for it to with all the anger and frustration I felt towards myself bubbling up to the surface. As soon as I heard the voice on the other end all of it disappeared though.

“It’s Alexia. Are you trying to pull some kind of prank on me because of what I said earlier?” I could hear her irritation but had no clue what she was talking about.

“What are you talking about, Lexi?” I said cautiously. Not wanting to make her any angrier than she already was.

“This contract. Is this some kind of sick joke? That can’t be a serious offer. No sane employer would agree to those terms.”

I couldn’t keep myself from laughing. I tried to stop myself. I started to imagine steam coming out of Lexi’s ears, because I knew that my laughter would have made her mad. That only served to make me laugh even harder.

“You are an arrogant jerk, Brandon. I don’t understand why you have to be like this. What did I ever do to you? Why do you try to make my life so difficult?”

That was all that I needed to hear to stop the laughter.

“It’s not a joke, Lexi. The offer is real. Both of my partners signed off on it. Do you have any issues with it? If you do, we can talk about the terms.”

She was quiet for a couple of minutes, and I was starting to feel uncomfortable when she spoke again.

“No. If it is a legitimate offer, then I don’t have any issues with it. I can come in tomorrow and sign it.”

The excitement that I felt in that moment was almost indescribable. I didn’t realize just how badly I wanted her to accept the job or how badly I wanted the opportunity to right my past wrongs.

“That sounds good. You can come into the office around ten in the morning. You can sign the contract, and then I can show you around the lab if you would like.”

I held my breath waiting on her answer. I was praying she said yes.

“Okay. I will see you at ten then.”

I could tell she was about to hang up, but I wasn’t ready to let her go yet.

“Lexi?” I said before she could hang up.

“What is it, Brandon?” She didn’t try to hide her frustration.

“It was never anything you did. It was always me. I know it doesn’t make it go away or fix anything, but I needed you to know that it was me that was broken. I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself if I broke you too.”

She was so quiet that I had to check to see if she was still on the phone.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Brandon.” She said so quietly that I barely heard her, and then she hung up.

I got up from my chair and headed toward the parking garage. I was ready to get home, eat dinner, shower, and then get some sleep. Hopefully I would be able to sleep tonight without having any nightmares.