Thrills And Confusion

Zannie walked slowly into the living room. Howard offered her a piggyback ride because she could no longer when she stumbled because of her shoelace earlier. But on the other hand, she is still annoyed with Howard for saying that she's not pretty enough to show a stern attitude, and even said that she won't ruin the reputation that is best kept just for him. That had an impact and it was like a broken plaque repeated in her mind. The wind blew her away and she looked in the mirror. She slapped both cheeks for thinking such things. She couldn’t fathom the impact of Howard's presence and his sudden mood change. It turns out that the scent of him also lingered on her clothes because he had been on a piggyback ride before. 

‘This is strange for me. Why am I feeling something that makes me thrilled?’

Why so? Does she feel the thrill that she should just have only for Jacob? That thought made her lose concentration. Damn, that man is invading her whole system. Until now, she admitted she quite admired Howard's intelligence. Yes, he is arrogant but his arrogance is classy. And with the way he talks— it's quite impressive. His skills match his personality well. That’s maybe when a prominent CEO of a big company. But she feels guilty because she can't even thank him for his help when they were teaching children.

She went outside. She intends to peek at Howard in the other barracks.

She peered through the window opening where it was sitting nearby. 

He saw Howard reading a handbook for first aid while sipping coffee. "It's late, but I'm still having coffee." 

She shook her head and looked at the young man. Howard is serious about reading and becomes aborted at the same time because mosquitoes are swarming around him. The colorful mosquitoes apparently intend to consume all of his blood and mark his smooth skin with a rash. Zannie felt sorry for his condition at that time. She wanted to offer help but her own pride prevented her from doing so.

"Hey, are you peeking at Mr. Howard? You— That's bad."

It was as if she had seen a ghost because of Lucille's voice. She glared at her friend and averted her eyes. She had no intention of answering Lucille's question. Why  would she deny it? What she's doing right now is very obvious. 

‘If you hadn’t peeked Zannie, your friend wouldn’t have intrigued you.’ 

Zannie took a quick walk away from Lucille but she just laughed at her because she noticed that he was not walking well. 

"Why? I thought you were just like that with Jacob. I never knew that you're also like that with Mr. Howard ah, hey Zannie! Admit it to me, does it mean that Jacob is no longer your crush?" Lucille teasingly asked Zannie which caused her to put a frown on her face.

"Can I have a crush besides Jacob? I won't like someone like Howard. He's arrogant. You thought he was the most handsome guy when he told me that I'm not beautiful!"

Her friend laughed at her rebuke. It's already late at night and it seems that at this hour, no one should laugh loudly, so Lucille prevented to laugh with a sound.

"What a petty reason. You're not really pretty Zannie but it's okay. Hey, let's have peace!"

Suddenly, Lucille put her two palms in her mouth. She shouldn't have said that but she could do nothing. The mouth pushed what the chest had turned. 

So, it's confirmed, that's all what Zannie was sulking about. She was caught in her own mouth. "Ah. Nevermind!" She growled at her friend. She tried to speed up her motion of walking so that Lucille would not intrigue her again.

"Hey Zannie, you obviously have a crush on him. That's better than relying on Jacob. You know that Jacob wants to serve this country and you should just support him in his dream."

Zannie's heart seemed to pound at what she heard. Does she really need to slap reality a multiple times before she decides to end her one sided love for Jacob?

“You're so straightforward, Lucille. You know, just give me some time and I will eventually learn how to let my feelings go,” Zannie bemoaned. 

“I'm just as concerned as your friend, Zannie. I don't want you to feel hurt like this. I mean, you're still young and you can dream of other things or pursue another career,” Lucille earnestly replied. “Stop waiting for someone who can't reciprocate what you feel.”

“I know the consequences of my actions, Lucille. Call me a masochist while doing this and I don't care.” Zannie let out a heavy breath and turned her back on her friend.

“I'm sorry, Lucille.”

***

"How are you feeling right now? Are your feet okay?"

No one had a bad mood but Zannie was just annoyed when Howard was there who seemed to be looking at her earlier. She ignored him and tried to pretend that she's busy as if she can't hear nobody around her.

She carried bags containing food supplies and first aid kits for the soldiers to take to the camp. Jacob and her will meet again. She already missed him. It's been almost two days since their last meeting. She doesn't know, he knows she misses Jacob but right now, it seems like her fondness of seeing him slowly decreases. 

She simply shook her head and stopped what she was doing. She was distracted by her own thoughts for Jacob. She had already carried half a box of rice that was too heavy for a woman to carry. It will be taken in a service van to get to the camp. She wanted to find someone to help her lift the sack of rice but there was no other man around but the man she hated, Howard. 

She let out a heavy breath to breathe. She knew in herself that she could not carry half a box of rice but she would rather have a hard time than have Howard help her again. She tried to lift it with both her hands, and the young man just stared at her. He didn't know but she felt more annoyed.

Why is it that he's just staring at her and not even showing a little chivalry?

Her hand was already red but she still couldn't lift what she was supposed to lift. She still managed to act like nothing's wrong.

‘Oh Zannie, you can do it. A little more force.’ Hopefully, her own self cheering will help her at this moment. 

"You can't lift that."

Zannie seemed to have a battery drained because of Howard's sudden point, as if he had read her mind. Her hands released a half a box of rice and seemed to have absorbed all the energy in his body.

He saw Howard approaching her. He has a very formal look and despite the simple attire, he still looks like the hot bachelor that every woman dreams of. She can't deny, maybe she's one of the women who could possibly dream of him. She averted his eyes to quickly dismiss the thought. Howard wasn't even doing anything but her knees were shaking immediately.

She can't be herself this time. Howard was indeed drop dead gorgeous. She seemed to faint when she felt his hand touch the hand that was still holding the half sack of rice. "Let me do it for you."

She was amazed at what he did. In less than half a minute, Howard had placed the item he had taken from her into the service van. He even smiled like a sly dog. 

"Thank you," Zannie said briefly. It feels different. Her heart seemed to be beating for some inexplicable reason. 

"Sometimes, even a leader needs a helping hand from members in his team."

Who is this leader referring to? What does he mean?

She narrowed his eyes at Howard. "Did you apply that to yourself when you were a CEO?"

Howard cleared his throat. "Actually, I'm a boss and not a leader. I just thought about it now."

"Okay." She hurried to leave in front of Howard but it wasn't easy because of her sprained ankle. She lost her balance and almost fell to the floor. Fortunately, Howard was able to support her; but they both sank. And their eyes met in a very unexpected moment like this. 

There's something in his eyes that made Zannie's face blush.

‘Why do you have such an effect on me, Howard?’