Novels by Regaan

How to re-assure him, though? How could I possibly explain why I'd done what I'd done? How could I show him that I didn't care who Jean slept with – not NOW, at any rate – what I cared about was honesty? What I needed was the truth; not to have my eyes blinded by what I wanted to be but opened to what truly was. How could I explain that the pain and rage I felt wasn't directed at my wife's relationship with her brother but rather that she'd kept it from me, never giving me a chance to form an opinion of it? How could I let him know that the deepest cut of all was that I'd been lured into believing I was finally part of a family, something I desperately wanted with every fiber of my being, only to have it ripped from me in single moment?The bailer was loud, but I was louder. I'm not a person who opens up; I don't share what's inside. Oh, I'll share my life, things that happened, but not how I feel – at least, not easily. Amber had been there, at one time. I'd trusted her enough to let

Because of this," she replied. "Because of how you're feeling right now. Because you can hate yourself for what you did to Michael."Hate myself? I realized she was right. I did hate myself. I should never have involved Michael in this plot. I should have found a way to keep him away from all this. Instead, I'd thrust him into my scheme as just another pawn on my path to revenge.Amber? She deserved everything I could dish out, the cunt. Dave? He deserved everything I could throw at him. Maddy? She wasn't as culpable, but there was enough blame to throw around; she knew about the two of them and let it continue. My soul cankered with the need to lash out at them.Michael? Not so much. He'd done nothing to elicit my wrath except ... be my son. Fall asleep lying on top of me, his little head on my chest, his arms around me, hugging me even in his sleep. Play blocks with me, toss the ball with me, swing on a swing as I pushed him, smile and laugh as I tickled him. No matter that it wasn'

I was still elated as I turned onto Jean's street. I was still looking forward to my revenge, still smiling at the shit that was coming for Amber and Dave. The smile, though, was tempered. I would enjoy this moment, this day. I would enjoy Amber and Dave's coming pain. I would keep true to myself during that enjoyment, though. I would not fall off the edge.I could just make out a figure on the porch as the house came clearer into view. Jean was waiting for me, huddled within the terry cloth of her robe."You'd better come inside," she said quietly as I stood panting before the stairs. There was a seriousness to her words, an intensity that was both strange and familiar. I'd seen Jean like this once before when we'd lost a contract I'd worked hard on."What's up?" I asked, gasping for breath."Just ... come in," she said simply and walked into the house.They were all waiting for me in the living room, the television on, some female reporter blathering on about something. I joined the

Finally, what had started in shocked dismay and gradually changed to disbelief and then rage would at long last be revenged. I tried to force my mind to keep that same distance as when I always ran, to let it float outside of me and think what it wished, but the expectation of what was to come kept intruding and ultimately was too much.The anticipation was like a bubble inside of me trying to rise out. Even as my feet ate up chunks of packed dirt, I was eager to get this behind me. I was eager for the day to commence, to finally see what I had worked for these past few months. I wanted nothing more than to jump into the air and fling myself forward in time to the point where I could finally feel the satisfaction of knowing my plot had worked.I knew I had to wait ... but waiting was killing me. I knew that it was going to be hours before I'd know anything, hours before Amber and her family discovered the things I'd done. I almost laughed at the thought; they'd gone to bed the night b

Don't worry, I'm not going to come between you and Jeanie," she said as we pulled up to the high school. "Just if she's stupid enough to break up with you ... I'm going to be after you. So, keep that in mind." She opened her door and started to close it, then stopped."Did she tell you about the pact?" she smiled at me."Uh ... yeah ... I don't think..." I tried to collect my thoughts into some semblance of order."I thought she would," Olivia smiled impishly. "If it helps, I would definitely put you through to the second round." Then she turned and closed the door and I couldn't help but notice the little wiggle she put into her walk as she walked away.I was still more than a little dazed as I walked in the door. Strangely, I couldn't remember actually driving back and I wondered how I'd gotten here. I turned as I walked in and Jeanie was looking at me strangely."Are you okay?" she asked, her voice betraying her concern. "You look like you've just seen a ghost.""I ... you ... Oliv

We sat there for a while. Five minutes. Ten. I wasn't sure. We sat quietly and I wondered what was going through her mind. Finally, she turned to me."I'd like that, then," she said finally, smiling at me. "The date. I'd like ... do you ... do you think we could go out Wednesday? I want to spend time catching up with my family tonight ... I'm sure they'll drag you into some kind of game night, it's what we do when we're all together, play silly little board games. Tomorrow and Wednesday, I'll be helping my mom bake cookies and bread and pies and cakes and who knows what else for the feast on Thursday ... so I'll be ready for a reprieve Wednesday night ... and we should be pretty done with the baking and stuff then. So ... would Wednesday be okay?""Yeah," I said, smiling at her. I pulled her into a one armed hug. "Wednesday sounds great.""Easy mister," she said, laughing wryly as she pulled away. "Just because we're going on a date doesn't mean you get to be fresh with me." She smile