Natasha is Back to Life

First Timeline

Natasha Nicholai's point of view

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THIS WILL BE THE DAY I'LL DIE!

I wish I was joking, but, unfortunately, I am not. And well, there isn't much I can do about all of this. There isn't, literally, anything I could do. Not without my arms, nor my legs or tongue. They cut everything.

At least they didn't cut my head off, yet.

But it will happen today, though!

I'm not going to lie by saying that I'm in this situation for nothing. I'm not gonna say that I didn't do anything to be here. Because I did! I'm not, one hundred percent, the victim.

I am a villainess, after all. I know every single vicious thing I did.

I remember every single person I killed. Every single thing I stole and all the lies I've told. But I don't regret it.

There's a reason for everything I did. Of course, there is! I did it for my sister. My sweet younger twin sister, Dalilah. All I did was for her.

Okay... Almost everything. The last thing I did, which made me end up here, wasn't for her. It was for me. She's the one who got hurt by it.

But I couldn't help it. There was a primal feeling deep inside of me, which I can't explain, that kept telling me to get back at that motherfucker. That son of a bitch who did that to me.

Worst, my sister knew and didn't do anything about it.

But I truly believe that she had a reason to do so. That asshole was probably emotionally manipulating her into not saying anything. Because he couldn't manipulate her normally, mind to mind, once she was the one with such a blessed kind of magic. She was blessed by the Goddess, and that's why she's a Saintess.

I'm not dumb, neither am I stupid, so, of course, I knew how she would react if I followed the voice deep inside of me. But somehow I did it anyway. It was the first time in my life that I did something she disagreed with.

I always knew how much she loved that octopus we have to call 'brother'. So it was an obvious and expected reaction. Especially when I murdered him so brutally and didn't even try to hide.

That voice told me not to do so. It told me that it was for the best. That I was right.

And that, it didn't matter the consequences that would follow what I had done, I should handle it because it would be worth it.

So yeah, she organized my execution together with my brother-in-law, the 3rd Imperial jerk Prince Christopher Caspien. Who I deeply hate! That spoiled brat always got in my way even when I tried to help him for my sister's sake. Scheming things that could hurt me, and always failing. Making the time of my life I had to spend around him, because of Dalilah, a living hell.

But again, I never did anything that would go against my sister. So, somehow I managed to keep my hatred towards him to myself, and never said anything rude to him. All because of her. I don't even know how I controlled myself all this time. It doesn't make sense, thinking about it right now. But life doesn't make sense, anyway.

Now regarding her, it was expected. I disappointed my sister, by killing one of the people she loves the most in this world, our eldest brother, Octavian. And besides her sad feelings making me feel like shit and like I failed with her, I can't help but not give a damn about his death at all.

And having this mindset is what makes people see me as a villainess. I can't deny that either. Again, I know what I am. As well as I know that all of the things I did, took me to where I am now.

The depths of the Imperial Palace dungeon, for being accused of assassinating the Grand Duke Octavian Nicholai. My older brother. Which, again, I did! And with such an accusation, there was no way of me escaping execution.

And well, as I said before, I truly thought I knew why everything happened the way it did. But, it turns out that I didn't. Not entirely. At least, that's what I ended up learning at my last moments alive in this sphere.

As you see, I thought that I had done all of that because of my own personal and selfish desires. But, no! It was someone else's. Someone else's ugly internal desires and horrible feelings towards the people I harmed in some way and killed.

And that person controlled me. Used her magical strings in my mind and brain-washed me.

It seems like in the end, I was really stupid, after all.