My Alpha, My Desire

Kayla’s POV

“Mate,” Jackson growled when he laid eyes on me and I stiffened. 

The happiness that coursed through me came to an abrupt halt. I was supposed to be happy, to feel alive that I had finally met my mate. 

But I wasn't happy because Jackson was my stepsister's boyfriend and Alpha of the pack. 

Adriana is my step-sister who I’m older than by a year. She’s the child of my stepfather. 

Daring to look at Adriana's face, I caught anger dancing in her eyes. She would never forgive me for this. Even if she got all the good things, she always accuses me of stealing from her. 

I backed away from fear. I couldn't feel my wolf yet but was surprised I got a mate. I turned eighteen two months ago but there was still no sign of my wolf. 

Adriana looked at Jackson as she looped her hands around his. There was a pouting expression on her face like she was about to cry. 

“You can't accept my sister, can you? You promised me I would be your Luna,” she whined and I looked away. 

Even before saying it, I knew Jackson would reject me. He wasn't immune to my ill fate. I was cursed, never good enough. 

I thought about what made me think my mate would accept a loser like me. 

“Hush now baby, I will make you my Luna. You have always been my Luna from the moment I laid eyes on you in seventh grade,” Jackson smiled at Adriana, pinching her nose playfully. 

Then he turned back to me. I was frozen on the floor.  All the warmth was gone from Jackson's eyes. And I saw my dreams flash before my eyes. 

What happened to having a mate and a wolf that I could share all my secrets with? Who would comfort me on nights when I felt like a total waste of space? 

My eyes became glassy with unshed tears as I clutched my dress, watching how Jackson's eyes flickered between blue and black. He was fighting with his wolf. 

He finally won, his eyes turning blue, “I Jackson Wells, reject you Kayla Deen as my mate and future Luna,”

The tears I had been trying to hold in came out as my lips trembled from too many emotions, “I, Kayla Deen accept your rejection.”

I said and moved away from the garden to my room which had always given me comfort. The pain was there, the pain of being rejected. It hurt more than anything I had ever experienced in my entire life. 

But I wouldn't let Adriana see how she had won again. Taking what I truly desired in my life. 

I sobbed silently into my pillows until the door to my room banged open and my mom walked in. 

She was angry at something. Whenever it came to me, she was always mad. Everything I did was never enough for her. 

And it was when I became drenched in ice-cold water I realized my mom came to pour me ice-cold water in the middle of winter. Especially since my room was the only room in the house without a heater. 

“Why?” I asked, surprised and pained. 

“Did you think for once you will become the Luna of this pack? I knew you were dumb but this is the height of it all!”

“I don't understand, mom. I never…” 

“Don't you dare call me mom! I'm not your mother. Only heaven knows what your mother is up to right now, leaving behind her daughter.” My mom said, her chest rose and fell from the anger that ran through her. 

I didn't think about getting a towel to dry my wet clothes. Neither did I think about Adriana standing by my door with a smirk on her face. 

All I could think about were the words that flowed from my mom's mouth. I stood up slowly from the bed and faced my mom. 

“I don't understand. You're not my mother?” I asked her and she sneered. 

“His could you be so blind? You look nothing like me! Your green eyes, blond hair… absolutely nothing like me.”

“I only kept you because of your father. It’s better you know your place now as a low-life. Don’t dare dreaming about taking what belongs to Adri!” she flung her hair behind her shoulders, fuming. 

I was tongue-tied, brain dead, and bones weak. My stepfather walked into the room. I watched him hug Adriana lovingly. Then, he looked at me with hate like he had done over the years. 

“You're not my mom…” I said to myself as my life with my mom played before my eyes. 

The signs, they were all there - the ill-treatment, the harsh words, the partial treatment between me and Adriana. 

Had I been a fool? Maybe. Even though the signs were as clear as day, I decided to hold on to the hope that Mom treated me that way because I reminded her so much of Dad. 

Oh, heavens… this is too much to bear. An excruciating pain flowed from my heart as I collapsed on the floor. 

Raising my head slowly, I met my mom's gaze, “Did they know?” 

Her jaw worked irritated and I knew the answer. 

They knew. 

No, I didn't want a mate here. I didn't want a life here. I wanted to be as far away from this set of people as possible. 

But why did she keep it from me? I can remember the mockery on Adriana's face whenever I did something nice for Mom. But I never understood why. 

I stood up from the floor and faced the trio. They were a perfect family. I was only a disruption to their already awesome life. 

I looked at them with so much pain, “It’s fine. I completely understand. I’m nothing worthy of note, a scum to the earth.”

“Good. You’re not so dumb after all,” Adriana said and left the room, followed by my mom and her husband. 

The silence of the room made my legs weak, pushing me to crawl into bed and cry. But I had cried enough as I remember the promise I made to myself never to cry again. 

Taking my little stuff as I walked to my closet, I walked out of the house filled with the laughter of the perfect family and went into the woods. 

I couldn’t stay here any longer. No one wants me. I might as well take the little dignity I have and leave. 

I honestly had no idea of my destination. I just wanted to leave the painful memories behind me. And hopefully start beautiful ones wherever my legs took me to.  

Darkness came and I still had no idea where to head until I saw a little motel. Asking around about the place, I soon found out that it was in an unmarked territory which meant I was safe to sleep here for the night. 

But my legs took me to the club at the back of the motel. The music called to me. I wanted to drown my thoughts and sorrows in there. 

And that was exactly what I did since I had no one else to please and tell me what I could or could not do. 

The drinks came and I soon found myself drunk, sitting at the edge of the counter. There were hungry eyes on me but I didn't care. All I cared about was numbing the pain in my heart. 

Finally deciding to return to my room, I turned around and bumped into someone. The last thing I expected of myself was to puke all over him. 

“Goodness, I'm so sorry,” I apologized, using my hand to wipe the contents of my stomach off his shirt. 

He pulled away from me, “Fuck, don't you watch where you are going?!”

I shrank back from the tone of his voice. The events of the day caught up with me and I started crying as I plumped down on the floor. 

The lights were dim and the man appeared confused about what to do with a drunk crying girl. 

“Do you have a family somewhere I can take you to?” 

I shook my head as my hair covered more of my face, “What about a room?” He asked again and I nodded. 

He waited for some time before he scooped me up in his arms. 

Immediately my head hit his chest, I passed out.