Captivating The Eyes

Everyone around me was either scared of me or admired me. It could be a mixture of both and I didn't blame them. Sometimes I am scared of me too.High school is hard and sometimes you need to blend in to survive. But after that night, the night that haunts my dreams and has me confessing my sins during Sunday mass, I feel myself becoming more and more scared. Feral, almost. Like I am afraid of losing my place or stepping out of line which could make my future disappear.I wasn't the person to put the dynamite in those geeks' rocketship. And I also wasn't the person who laughed about it afterwards, shocked at first while riding in the bed of Daniel Greyson's truck, then nervously laughing until the site was behind us.But I was the person who called 911 after the kid lit the chemistry experiment off in the open field. And I was the person who had Danny pullover so I could vomit on the side of the road at the thought that those kids could be dead at what was supposed to be a stupid pran

I get to Bio extra early the next day just so I can snag the seat next to the one that Nathaniel sat in yesterday. My friends try getting my attention a few times to come and sit in the back with them, but I shake them off and try my hardest to feel sincere.When the sound of tapping comes into reach, I mentally prepare myself by straightening the pencil in alignment with my notebook and casually fold my hands across on desk."Good Morning, Nate," I say once he has sat down in the same spot he had yesterday. He jumps slightly in his seat but recovers quickly by murmuring good morning back."It's okay if I call you Nate, right? Nathaniel is such a mouthful." I did like the old sound of it.He nods his head timidly, his cheeks lightly turning pink. He takes out his phone from his pocket of the dark gray hoodie he seems to like and presses the screen. He then takes out ear buds and lets them dangle around his neck.I am just about to ask him what he is listening to when Mr. Faunt instruc

Through all the talking and staring at Nate, I did not notice that it was raining steadily outside. The sound pitter-patters against the large windows of Linc's so loudly that I am extremely surprised when I walk out into it. Nate breathes a deep breath through his nose. I can imagine that the smell was strong and found myself doing the same. "I love the smell of rain," I comment as we both stand under the striped canopy of the diner."I don't very much like navigating in it, though," Nate nearly groans. He has yet to take his walking stick out. It was as if he was delaying spending alone time with me. Strangely, I am more excited than nervous. This is a first around him."You stay here and I'll get my car brought up to the door." Before he can answer, I take off into the pouring rain. I return drenched with my hair sticking to my face and my light jacket clingying to me like a second skin. I quickly get out of my car and run back to where Nate is standing. The rain has yet to to

Loud cheering fills the air as the cool North Carolina wind nips at my bare shoulders. Alyssa winks over at me as the crowd busts out in frantic applause when Danny scores his second touchdown of the night. The too short miniskirt rustles around my legs as the night air begins to pick up. After multiple high kicks I am beginning to feel exhausted. I used to love cheering. I used to love Danny pointing my way as if to say "that one was for you, baby." But now I feel overly fake and cheery with both topics.There used to be no better feeling than friday night lights for the Stanton Stallions. The cool night air where the school year went from summer weather to fall weather in weeks, the craze of the crowd and student section, homecoming; Everything left a happy bubble in the air. I am good at putting on a happy face. You don't make it to the top of the pyramid without knowing how to play the game. But I have found that my smile is now a little too big and my high ponytail is too tight

Wow, I am drunk."Nate, do you happen to have some water I could drink?"Nate nods but instead of letting him get up and navigate to the kitchen, I place a hand on his forearm and lightly push him back down to the couch. "Just tell me where and I will get it myself. I didn't come here to bother you."Nate clears his throat. "Second cabinet on the top. Tall glasses are on the bottom shelf and short glasses are on the top. Thought I would tell you that incase you were feelings like a lot of water or just a couple swigs..."I grin down at the nearly shaking boy. "Thanks for the options."I walk to the kitchen which is big and just as homey as the living room with childhood pictures on the fridge and fruit in bowls. My mother never allows fruit to be outside of the refrigerator because of fruit flies. And she didn't like clutter laying around unless it was hers which keeps me pretty secluded to my bedroom which is fine with me. "Second cabinet, right?" I ask from the other room. I don't